There are no written rules for the first kiss, but there are a lot of fears and misconceptions surrounding it. Not a single book will tell you what kind of date you can kiss on so that neither partner is disappointed in each other, but let’s find out the origins of this sacrament: what a kiss is, is it so important and how to understand that “that very moment” has come.
What is a kiss to you?
All people have their own opinions about relationships with members of the opposite sex. It is influenced by circumstances, upbringing, character, worldview, as well as future intentions. Many people consider a kiss to be a sign of sympathy or gratitude, but it also symbolizes tenderness, love and trust. Some people think that kissing a man on the first date is normal, but for others, such behavior is considered a sign of promiscuity. When and with whom to show feelings in this way is a personal matter for everyone.
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Avoid cliches
The first point that is worth fixing: get away from the movie cliche that your first kiss should happen strictly after breaking up. Agree, it’s strange - after a good and smooth date, you suddenly for some reason pounce on her and start kissing her furiously. Remember that this game is your rules. The kiss can happen in the middle of the date, at the end, or at any other time. Yes, you can walk her home and kiss her at the door, but remember that this is not at all necessary.
Is it possible on a first date?
In the past, kissing on the lips was considered a sign of frivolity. In today's society, such manifestations of feelings are treated more loyally. There is nothing wrong with a lady allowing herself to be kissed goodbye if there is a feeling of mutual sympathy between her and the man. But when she wants to seem mysterious, you should wait until the second meeting.
Female look
Every girl is a romantic at heart, even if she doesn't talk about it. For her, the first meeting is of great importance. It depends only on the lady’s decision on what date she will kiss, whether it will be the last or whether the communication will continue. Modern youth do not attach importance to such trifles and in vain. It is from the first meeting that a girl is able to understand whether a young man is right for her and whether she wants to build a further relationship with him. If a young lady wants to give the impression of a mysterious person, then it is better to postpone such a manifestation of sympathy until next time.
Men's opinion
Guys are more relaxed in this regard.
They are always and with pleasure ready to kiss the girl they like if she gives her consent. Whether this happens at a joint evening or not is unimportant. Of course, if the lady arouses sympathy in the young man, then the pleasure from the kiss will be greater. It doesn't have to happen on a date. The main thing is that the desire to get closer and the feelings are mutual. There is even a “five date rule.” Its essence is that after the expiration of the specified period, the couple moves to a new stage of the relationship with all the accompanying manifestations of tenderness and sympathy.
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Ethics view
Guys worry less about their moral character. Women are afraid that they will be considered frivolous and accessible, so they often think about this topic.
Several hundred years ago, for such frivolity, a man could be demanded satisfaction, and the lady’s honor would be irrevocably damaged. Today everything is much simpler, but according to the rules of etiquette, such an act is still unacceptable. But few people remember this. Misconceptions on this topic:
- Only easily accessible young ladies do this. Not at all. This is the prerogative of brave, not promiscuous ladies. But you don’t need to be equal to them. Many men, while actively searching, prefer modest and shy people.
- The young man has no serious intentions. A kiss with a girl says absolutely nothing about a man's future plans. It does not interfere with strong and high feelings at all.
- The second meeting will definitely take place. Big misconception. On the first date, he does not give any guarantees of continuing the relationship. Whether the young people will meet again or not depends only on themselves.
- After a kiss there must be sex. Incorrect statement. No one owes nothing to nobody. This is just idle speculation. He will not demand intimacy just because she allowed herself to be kissed.
Having dealt with these misconceptions, you can understand that everyone must decide for themselves on what date it is acceptable to kiss their partner.
Meeting No. 4_4
The couple's fourth meeting marks the beginning of their romantic relationship. You can easily choose a secluded place for her, however, it is still advisable to refuse to use the personal territory of a man or woman. Imagine a romantic dinner on the roof of a high-rise building or order a table separated by a partition in a cozy cafe. On this date, flowers and small but sweet gifts are completely appropriate. It is the fourth date that is considered optimal for “adult” kisses.
True, guys should still restrain themselves somewhat and not allow persistent and overly sexual “kisses.” At this stage there is still a place for modest loving tenderness.
Ideal time for a kiss
Kissing in front of witnesses is not a good idea, it is too intimate a moment. The right time will be to say goodbye. When she delays breaking up, this may mean that she is waiting for a bold step from the guy. If the lady quickly says goodbye, it means it’s too early for such a manifestation of warm feelings.
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You should kiss a guy on the first date when both partners are ready for it. You just need to trust the calls of your heart and the hints of fate. It happens that it is very difficult to resist, but in order not to rush things, it is better to wait until the moment when the couple gets to know each other better.
Arguments for"
- “The earth is disappearing from under our feet” - a strong mutual attraction is obvious. Sparks fly between you, the chemical reaction that has arisen between people cannot be stopped, this is not a very common situation, so this is quite possible.
- The partners' attraction to each other arose even before personal acquaintance, for example, during a long correspondence. There is a strong feeling of long-standing acquaintance and kinship of souls.
- Having seen a person for the first time and spent some time together, you decided that you like him and there is no point in delaying the kiss.
- The date went perfectly, time flew by, and the dialogue was interesting and lively, without awkward pauses. You don’t want to leave after such a date at all, and a kiss is a completely logical and natural end to the evening.
- The man is good to everyone, but he’s definitely not the hero of your novel. This also happens, and a kiss on the first date is a kind of point in a relationship that is not destined to begin. The first and last kiss without sympathy can serve as a weighty argument saying that you did everything possible to continue dating, but there was still no spark, and, therefore, there is definitely no reason for new meetings.
Why doesn't a guy kiss on the first date?
Although young people are not at all against showing sympathy for a girl in this way, some of them are in no hurry to do so.
Possible reasons:
- Wants to build a serious relationship in the future.
- Excessive shyness, fear of seeming intrusive.
- The passion of the hunter - the guy is trying to arouse the interest of the lady.
- He just doesn’t want to do it or doesn’t feel the girl’s interest.
- Sick (flu, cold).
Important questions
After the first date has passed and the man and woman realized that they are pleasant to each other externally, the moment comes when they need to find out how suitable they are for each other internally. And this should happen, according to the guys, on the second date. It is then that they are ready and will ask girls important questions to which they want to receive honest answers.
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The main questions that young people want answered on the second date are goals in life, career aspirations, everything about family and about the latest romantic relationship. This last question is sometimes a little troubling, but it is a valid one. Because, knowing the reason why the girl’s previous relationship was ended, the guy will be able to find out how their romance can develop.
How to behave properly for a girl
In order to create the right impression of herself and not regret her refusal or consent, a girl must think everything over carefully. What does she expect from the young man? What concessions are you willing to make?
Understand themselves
Before going to a young man, a girl should think carefully about everything. If the purpose of the meeting is sex, then there is no point in being shy about kissing a new guy. But when a lady expects continued communication and a serious relationship, you need to be careful and think about some points:
- Will he treat her with the same respect and care as before?
- Is such a manifestation of warm feelings appropriate?
- Will he give something new for the development of relationships?
- Does the girl herself want him to kiss her?
Know common mistakes and avoid making them
Nobody wants to appear like a lady with a complex or be known as behind the times. Such behavior can scare a man away. You should also not use kissing to speed up the development of a relationship. Such tactics can lead to the opposite effect. Guys are hunters by nature, so they quickly lose interest in prey that is too easy.
However, delaying until the last minute, if the woman feels that the sympathy is mutual, is also not the best choice. It is important to find a middle ground here.
If you put off a kiss for weeks or months, a man may misunderstand the motives for such behavior and begin to perceive the lady solely as a friend.
Evaluate the situation
Whether or not you can kiss on a first date also depends on who the partner is. If this is a friend, acquaintance or colleague, then if there is mutual sympathy, it makes no sense to refuse. Under such circumstances, a kiss is quite appropriate and natural.
If young people meet for the first time, then everything depends on their impression of each other. It may turn out that the time spent together will not leave much of an impression, and the first meeting will be the last. In such a situation, you can allow a kiss on the cheek. This will not offend the person, but it will not give false hopes for continued communication.
Pay attention to the guy's behavior. If at the first meeting he is too intrusive, always tries to hug or tries to kiss, it is likely that a serious relationship is not included in his plans. In such a situation, a few tips will help:
- If such behavior is unacceptable for a woman, she must immediately fight back and set the boundaries of what is permitted.
- Try to explain to the young man why the girl is not satisfied with this behavior.
- Give a chance to rehabilitate.
- Calmly say goodbye and go home. If desired, you can offer friendship.
Decide
If a girl is satisfied with a man’s behavior on a date, he is polite and caring, and mutual attraction is felt, then there is no particular reason to refuse. Very often, the manifestation of warm feelings gives impetus to the development of closer relationships.
While the lady is not sure whether she wants this, or the young man’s intentions are not fully clear, then you can turn your cheek. This will not offend the guy, but on the contrary, it will rather provoke him. After this, he will try to woo the lady.
It is worth paying attention to several nuances when preparing for a date:
- The image and demeanor must correspond to each other. Don't try to give the impression of being modest in a short skirt and a low-cut sweater.
- Body language will allow you to hint to a man without words whether he is behaving correctly.
- Mood and impression of the guy. It depends on this whether the lady wants to repeat the kiss.
How to understand that a girl wants to kiss you? 5 signals to pay attention to
The main mistake that many men make on a first date is looking at their boobs rather than the big picture. Very few girls are ready to say themselves: “That’s it, let’s kiss already!” How long can you wait!” So it is important for guys to pay attention to the actions that their companion takes during a date.
- The girl often tries to penetrate into her personal zone: she comes as close as possible to say something, on the steps she tries to take her by the hand or arm, she sits close.
- Shows interest in the conversation, so listens carefully and asks questions.
- A girl looks a man in the eyes while talking.
- Often glances at your lips. Most often this happens during a conversation.
- He flirts actively: straightens his hair, touches your neck, and maybe casually touches your hand.
It's hard not to feel the girl's readiness. So pay attention to her non-verbal signs intended for you.
Tips for guys
The basic rule that you need to follow to achieve success is to be attentive, romantic and know when to stop. It is also worth following a few tips:
- You need to choose the place where the first kiss will take place very carefully, thinking through all the little things.
- Compliments. By choosing the right words, you will be able to melt the heart of any young lady.
- Knowing of limits. Excessive persistence will scare you.
- Don’t ask stupid questions like: “Can I?” Not a single woman will give consent; she will even really want to eat it herself.
- Sweet dessert. It is better to move on to showing sympathy in this way at the very end of the date. Then it will be clear whether the guy has a chance or whether he failed to hit his companion.
It is possible or not - everyone’s personal choice. If young people do not see anything reprehensible in a kiss, then they should not deny themselves the pleasure.
Pleasant conversation
The first date, as a rule, is quite chaotic, it is filled with vivid emotions and great excitement. It is difficult for people to concentrate on any specific thoughts; all their attention is focused on the appearance of their partner. On the second date, emotions will most likely not be so intense. And men count on the fact that it is then that they will be able to have a pleasant conversation with a lady, evaluate her intellectual level, common interests and outlook on life.
Secret signs
Although the issue of kissing is very individual, men would still like it to be a mandatory item during a second date with a girl. And what they expect to see on him are non-verbal signs, signals that the partner would give, thereby showing the man that she herself would like to kiss. Most often, the man makes the first step for a kiss, but, of course, he would be pleased to know that this is not only his desire, that the girl also thought about it and is attracted to him. This is what most men expect to see on the second date.
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Practical recommendations for girls
Is it possible to kiss a guy first?
We should start with the fact that the girl must clearly indicate her position and make it clear to the chosen one that she is not indifferent to him .
And I’m ready to go with him to even greater physical and moral rapprochement .
In company and alone, a girl should not openly criticize a guy, refrain from barbs and arguments with him, laugh at his jokes and share more information about her life.
This behavior will give the young man confidence that the couple is on the same page .
Non-verbal signals should not be neglected either. A flirting glance, a casual gentle touch, a gentle smile – all this eloquently indicates that the girl is in a favorable mood.
But everything should look natural. And then the first kiss will happen by itself.
So, the exciting moment has arrived. Everything is about to happen. What should a girl remember during her first kiss?
- Do not rush under any circumstances . Fast and rapid movements are best left for the gym.
- A short kiss for the first time is what you need. It can be repeated if the chosen one reciprocates.
- A soft, direct look into the eyes during a kiss can enhance the feeling of euphoria . In addition, such a technique will let the guy know that the girl is open to him and ready for new sensations.
- Hands should not remain indifferent during a kiss. To enhance intimacy, you can hug your partner by the shoulders, stroke his back, chest, or gently touch his face.
- While concentrating on technique, don't forget about your boyfriend. This is a romantic moment you should remember for the rest of your life.
Make sure she likes you
But before you kiss a girl, make sure she likes you.
You'll know it by reading between the lines or watching her body language. Below are some tips to help you decipher her reactions.
See if she likes the date
If a girl likes a date, she won't be able to hide her high spirits and enthusiasm, so pay attention to it.
If she invites you to continue the evening and go somewhere else, for example, to drink coffee, it means that she enjoys your company.
But if you notice that she looks bored or distant, then you need to think not about when to kiss her, but how to interest her.
Pay attention to her posture
If a girl constantly turns her whole body towards you, keeps her back straight, her stomach is pulled in, and her chest and butt stick out, this may be a sign that she likes you.
Another sign is when she tries to invade your personal space, such as leaning towards you or trying to touch you.
But it could also mean being friendly or simply hard to hear.
3. See how she reacts to your touch
Another sign that indicates her sympathy is her reaction to your touch.
For example, if you try to touch her hand but she moves away, this is a sure sign that she is uncomfortable and definitely not ready for a kiss.
But if at the same time she smiles, giggles, blushes and makes eyes, this means that she wants to reciprocate your feelings.
She's in no hurry to say goodbye to you
If you give a girl a ride to the house, and she is in no hurry to get out of the car, it means she is waiting for you to kiss her.
Now the main thing is not to hesitate, otherwise you will ruin everything.
She looks into your eyes
If she tries to catch your eye and doesn't show any signs that it's time for her to go home, then most likely she's waiting for you to kiss her. Take action.
What is a kiss from the point of view of male and female psychology?
Each person has his own interpretation of a kiss, which depends on age, worldview, upbringing, external circumstances, character. For some it is sympathy, trust, tenderness, the manifestation of nascent feelings, for others it seems like chemistry, physiology, a game. If we analyze the deep psychology of a kiss, then we need to take into account the thinking of both sexes.
When is a woman ready for her first kiss? Modern representatives of the fair sex are now not as conservative as they used to be, but they are still hesitant to reveal all their cards to their partners at once. There are, of course, girls who do not attach much importance to which date to kiss a guy, but most still care about this issue. And it’s not just about her own reputation, but also about the desire to understand herself - are they suitable for each other, will she want a further relationship, will this gesture prematurely extinguish the interest of her companion, etc.
Common women's thoughts about the first kiss:
The male view on this matter differs significantly from the female one. Representatives of the stronger sex are ready to kiss on any date, regardless of the stage of acquaintance, such is their psychology. They have a simpler attitude to this: if the girl is pleasant, then why not reinforce (strengthen) these positive emotions with a gentle kiss. And the partner who reciprocates is considered not a promiscuous lady at all, but a modern, risky and open girl.
A man’s behavior will depend on his character and upbringing: brave, choleric, persistent guys can demonstrate with all their appearance a desire to kiss their companion. Modest, shy, melancholic young men are cautious in this matter, fearing to frighten off the romantic atmosphere. They may even ask their partner's permission before kissing her. With the first type of men, you can act as your own soul dictates - they will not condemn and will not attach much importance to this freedom. But with the second category of men it is better to leave kisses for later.
By the way, sometimes even the most notorious heartthrob, in order to make a stunning impression on a date, will delay the moment of the kiss as long as possible.
Leisure
This is exactly the form of a second date that some men expect to get, especially if they are used to playing sports. If a partner accepts his offer to go hiking, to the pool or to the river during the second date, this will mean that they have common interests, which means it will be much easier to build a long-term relationship. In the end, most guys love fun and, choosing not standard cafes and cinemas, but the river bank as a place for a second meeting, a man just wants to have fun, and how this meeting goes will help to understand whether their characters are similar to those they like girl.
