Socialization is a mandatory process in modern society. No matter what you do in life, you will have to interact with your environment in any case. And it’s good if the contacts are purely positive. However, making friends is sometimes very difficult.
When you realize that there are problems in this issue, it means that you will have to study it in more detail. To quickly get close to people, find common ground and fully communicate, you need to become familiar with all the intricacies of social contact. Besides this, there are several proven ways to make friends with any person.
In this article:
Why is it difficult to find a common languageTop 10 ways to make friends with a person
Friend is known in trouble
In addition, in this world any misfortune can befall a person. He can lose his home, car, job, bank accounts overnight. The loss of a loved one or his betrayal cannot be ruled out. Any negative periods are much easier to overcome when real friends are nearby.
Interestingly, it is in difficult moments that the value of friendship is determined. After all, only close people are nearby, maybe even with whom you have not communicated for a long time, but who are ready to help at the first call. The rest remain on the sidelines or simply disappear from life.
Total gadgetization of communication
And, of course, all these electronic means of communication are far from the most sincere way of communication, on the one hand. On the other hand, they allow you to communicate at a distance. And in a big city, people and friends began to meet even less often, because these modern gadgets make communication easier.
Because you know what's going on. Either a friend will send you a video with his daughter, or you will send him photos of your homemade product. And it seems like everyone is communicating, even communicating even more than before. There are these advantages.
On the other hand, if you give small children all these gadgets, then they very quickly become terribly capricious and irritable. I try to make sure they don’t even watch cartoons too much.
When children don’t remember cartoons, well, good, it’s better to go for a walk, make some kind of stool, play with a toy train or make one out of chairs... Well, something real, material, and not virtual, digital.
But, nevertheless, the age of digital gizmos and such communication, it is inevitably gaining territory and somehow we need to interact with this whole economy. And now it often happens that future spouses meet on the Internet.
By the way, it’s easier to find like-minded people this way. For example, some club for lovers of butterflies, hang gliding, cross stitch, rock climbing... Someone is going to go to the mountains in Crimea, for example. It’s much easier for him to find guys on the Internet: from all over the USSR: Russia, Ukraine, Kyrgyzstan, Belarus, Kazakhstan - he gathered a team and went. Everyone came together at the right time and went on a hike. All the guys came together like this, cut from the same cloth, as they say. Cool!
And to do this you need to be able to start communicating with people on the Internet. This is an important skill. Still, these are not only evil, but also good, useful, convenient things. It’s like an ax: you can chop off heads with it, but you can also chop off firewood. Or you can build (cut down) a house with an axe.
Interesting facts about friendship
How long does it take to become a friend?
According to research conducted at the University of Kansas (United States) and published by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, a random interlocutor can become a good acquaintance after 50 hours of communication.
Closer relationships require a longer period. So it takes 90 hours to become friends, but the formation of a strong friendship requires over 200. Having become best friends, people understand each other without words, can communicate with signs, gestures, laugh at the same jokes, etc.
When is it easier to find friends?
It is believed that in childhood it is much easier to find friends. This happens not only due to the psychological characteristics of children. They are constantly at school, kindergarten, on the street and in other places where they are in close contact with their peers. Most kids are quite sociable.
As people grow older, they begin to build a career, earn money, solve everyday problems, forget old friends and do not strive for new acquaintances.
Number of friends
Professor Hall determined that the human brain perceives approximately 150 friendships that have varying degrees of relationship. People are most prone to three of them: friendship, acquaintance, friendly relationships.
Listening skills
There is no need to talk a lot. Communication always involves dialogue, not monologue. Therefore, even shy and not particularly talkative people can do this.
But the ability to listen is worth its weight in gold. During the conversation, you need to ask leading or clarifying questions. This will show the person that his opinion and feelings are very important to the interlocutor. He will understand that he can trust his new acquaintance. When the interlocutor sees that they are not interrupting him, but are attentively listening to everything he says, then he will be more inclined to entrust something secret. Such conversations bring people very close. After someone has poured out their soul to another, it is as if they have a common secret.
Where to find new friends
Friends can be found everywhere. Take a break from the hustle and bustle and look around. You will see a world full of people: happy and sad, short and tall, young and old. Imagine, you can make friends with everyone, help each other, just communicate.
Read further: How to find friends in life, games and social networks (advice from a psychologist)
Think about it, we were not born for work, TV or computer. We must communicate, learn new things, just love.
The easiest way to find friends is among:
- classmates and classmates;
- colleagues;
- work colleagues;
- friends from social networks;
- visitors to various parties and events.
You can easily meet a person on the street, in a sports section or a hobby club.
Remember the words spoken by Benjamin Franklin: “Be slow in choosing a friend, and still less in a hurry to change him.”
Content:
- Why might a child have problems communicating with peers?
- How to teach a child to be friends and communicate with peers?
- How to help a child fit into a new yard or make friends with neighboring children?
- How to teach children to play together? Tips for parents to unite their children's team
- What options can you come up with for organizing joint activities for children?
- If a child is bullied in the yard or on the playground, what should you do?
How to find a friend among classmates and classmates
Educational institutions are places where children and adolescents spend most of their time. It is here that friendships are often born that can last a lifetime.
In order to make friends with your classmates, fellow students or classmates, follow these tips:
- Be confident. Don't doubt your abilities. Try to become a leader.
- Think about who you want to be friends with.
- Be sincerely interested in the person you choose, this can be the start of a dialogue.
- Contact him with any request or suggestion. Help him yourself.
- Try to find common interests.
- Start chatting on social networks.
- Take part in various projects, visit places where you can establish communication.
- Develop a friendly demeanor and smile more often.
When communication improves, you can take a walk together or invite a new friend to visit.
Look around, maybe someone wants to make friends with you too?
Friendship at work
Of course, you need to be on good terms with all your colleagues. Even with the most disgusting people you need to find a common language. After all, a person spends quite a lot of time at work, often requiring the help of colleagues.
Goodwill
Show kindness when you pass by and try to smile at everyone. If you are given a favor, always say thank you.
Remember the names
Remember your colleagues by name, because a person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound for him.
Birthdays
Don’t forget about your employees’ birthdays; try to congratulate everyone. It will be very nice.
Quarrels, conflicts and gossip
Never take part in quarrels and conflicts, do not gossip. Rash words can ruin relationships, and people will no longer trust you.
Be punctual
Constant lateness or, conversely, early appearances at the workplace will begin to irritate the boss and other employees.
Carry out your work duties carefully and try not to make mistakes.
Read more: How others influence a person
Dress code
Stick to a general style even if there is no dress code. For example, if a team wears formal clothes to work, worn jeans and sneakers will look ridiculous.
More communication
If you want to become a close friend of one of your colleagues, communicate more with him, find common topics and interests, and help in his work. You can invite a person to a cafe for a lunch break or walk together after work to the bus stop. In the future, joint trips to picnics and invitations to visit are possible. This will be the beginning of a friendly relationship.
Pen pal
Today, virtual communication is becoming increasingly popular. People correspond on social networks, instant messengers, on forums, and register on dating sites.
How to make friends via the Internet
A few tips will help you:
- create a community aimed at introducing people to each other;
- add friends to people who interest you;
- accept friend requests from people you would like to communicate with;
- find old friends whom you haven’t seen in real life for a long time;
- correspond with them, congratulate them on their birthday and other holidays;
- play online games.
You can start connecting with friends in real life by inviting one or more of them to a movie, a cafe, or an event. You can simply report places where you can be found at a certain moment.
Once you have met a person, you should not try to sell him something, offer him a job or ask for help. These actions are optimal for already established relationships. Also exclude rudeness, intrusiveness and aggressiveness.
Sincere interest
You don't have to be the most outgoing person in the world to know how to make friends with the right people. It is enough to show genuine interest in others. Often people study or work together for years, but know almost nothing about each other. Simple everyday questions “How are you?” or “How was your weekend?” can become a bridge to further communication. You can try to start a conversation and determine by the person’s reaction whether he wants to involve others in his life or not. Of course, the conversation may not turn out smoothly the first time. It’s not nice to impose, but you shouldn’t despair either. A modest treat, a non-binding gift, an SMS - this is not considered something grandiose, but it will let the person know that he is not indifferent, they are thinking about him.
Dating on sites
There are services on the Internet designed for dating. Their activities are mainly aimed at seekers of romantic relationships, but it is possible that you will meet a friend there.
You can register for services that are designed solely for finding friends, for example, TourBar or MyFriends. There are not many of them, but you can find them.
Always practice netiquette. You should not swear, argue, or make vulgar jokes. A large number of emoticons, exclamation marks, and capital letters will look ugly. Follow the spelling rules, don’t make mistakes, and don’t neglect punctuation.
How to make friends on the street
You can make friends even on the street with a complete stranger.
First impression
To begin with, make sure that the first impression of you is only positive. You should not wear provocative, sloppy or dirty clothing. Don't forget about the rules of personal hygiene.
Read further: Friendship and business: where to find a reliable business partner
Friendliness
Remember the power of a smile, which conveys friendliness, good intentions and characterizes a person as a positive person. Be in a good mood. Forget about shyness, be natural.
Don't judge by appearance
Approach the person you see as a potential friend. You shouldn't judge people by their appearance. Behind the most ordinary appearance there can be a fantastic personality and your future best friend.
Make a first step
Then start the conversation. First you need to say hello. Then quite banal phrases will help you, which should become the beginning of a conversation:
- “I think we already met at my friend Vitya’s birthday party”;
- “You don’t think it’s great sunny weather today”;
- “Did we happen to study together at the institute? You remind me very much of my classmate.”
You can give a compliment:
- “You have such a beautiful watch, where did you buy it?”;
- “Your manicure is luxurious. How do you manage to get such a result?
If a person is not predisposed to conversation, the acquaintance will not work. In other cases, they will answer you.
Improvise, try to start a conversation. Listen carefully to your interlocutor. To learn this, you can read the relevant literature, take courses or find information on the Internet.
3.Acceptance
“I believe that you should be...” is one of the most common phrases used by partners in relationships. The fact is that many people lack diversity of thinking: it is difficult for them to understand and accept a point of view that is different from theirs.
For example, some women confidently say that “it will be better for him if he does this,” without noticing that they are actually paralyzing their partner’s will - in the end, he forgets how to think and make decisions on his own. This is also why one must be able to hear and recognize a person’s right to their own opinion.
