A person often worries in everyday life. Some people tolerate this condition easily, while others have a hard time. Is it true that this is normal? Why is it difficult to pull yourself together? Is it possible to use sedatives and what harm can they cause? Psychotherapist Polina Zenkevich answered these questions to the correspondent of the Minsk-News agency.
Photo by psy.systems
Excitement, anxiety, fear are emotional states. A special part of the brain, the limbic system, is responsible for their occurrence. This is an ancient, archaic part of the brain, almost beyond conscious control. Moreover, its role in the development and survival of humanity is colossal.
The mechanism of operation of the limbic system is complex. In a situation of danger, the amygdala stimulates the hypothalamus. It transmits a signal to the adrenal glands, which produce the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. This triggers the fight or flight response. It was she who helped our ancestors survive. We are the descendants of people who knew how to worry and fear. And these feelings are fixed in us by evolution.
Excitement is a mild degree of anxiety in a wary state. The body seems to be waiting and asking: “Will there be danger or not?” In a state of anxiety, the fight-or-flight defense systems are activated in full force. Normally, this helps us survive. If the reaction starts and does not disappear, an anxiety disorder is formed.
Face the fear
The best way to overcome your fears is to face them. For example, you are afraid to ask for a promotion at work, so you constantly put off this conversation. But you don’t know for sure how this conversation will end. So take the first step yourself and conquer your fear.
Each of us periodically experiences excitement and even panic, but this can and should be fought. To make your life easier and learn to control your emotions, take the free online course “Stress Management”. In just 45 minutes you will learn really working techniques that will help you quickly cope with stress in the moment.
Cry more often
Another tip that seems simple only at first glance. The fact is that both panic attacks and severe anxiety often arise as the body’s response to prolonged suppression of feelings and emotions.
If nervousness or tension arises, this is a sure sign that something has accumulated inside us. The tension in the nervous system will only increase. And to prevent an explosion from happening, you need to give free rein to your tears, cry if tears well up from a sad melody or someone’s words, and not restrain yourself.
Universal ways to cope with anxiety
Some ways to combat anxiety will help you overcome fear and suppress anxiety in front of a new situation or the assessments of others, which can be easily done right before going on stage, taking an exam, or in anticipation of a big holiday.
Work on improving your self-esteem
No matter how trivial it may sound, it needs to be raised exactly in the area where you are passing. I advise you to read the article on how to increase self-esteem. If it's exam anxiety, try to learn the material. If you are very nervous before the wedding or sex, tell yourself that you are handsome (beautiful), and everything will work out for you. Self-hypnosis, you know, is a powerful thing!
Think positively
Imagine yourself (forgive the tautology) after a terrible event. How will you feel? What do you tell yourself? How will you relax? This is what will help you stop trembling with excitement and tune in to the upcoming event. Also try to learn to manage your emotions, this will help you a lot.
Accept the result
Often it is the result that frightens us, as described in the reasons for the excitement. So, changing your attitude towards him will help reduce your anxiety, and you will feel much happier. Thunder won't strike out of the blue, and an earthquake won't happen if you don't succeed. And you only need to endure the discomfort of failure for 10 minutes maximum, so don’t be timid!
Plan b
Most often, a person is afraid of the unknown in case the situation gets out of control. Therefore, practicing behavior in the event of force majeure, a hitch, or an error will help overcome anxiety and fear.
Rehearse
Before any performance, even before an interview, it is better to rehearse your behavior and phrases. You can arrive early to the place where you will compete and practice several times before the competition in the place where they will take place. It is known that speaking in front of a mirror significantly increases one's success in front of people. And also develop your speech, it will help your confidence.
Reasons why we worry
There are actually few reasons for anxiety. They are all similar, since psychology claims that we have common psychological techniques of defense and emotions. Let's take a closer look at them.
- Fear is a natural defense. It's normal to be afraid of something new. If a person did not have such an emotional reaction, he would not live long. Fear allows us to prevent stupid things and threats to our lives. But sometimes it really bothers us, blocks our thoughts and actions. It is this kind of fear that sometimes appears on stage, in front of teachers, before a new event.
- Lack of self-confidence. Someone said a wonderful phrase: “Self-esteem is like stockings; it needs to be pulled up periodically.” Self-esteem is not always at its best. If we know that there is an “ideal” jury in the hall, smart examiners in the audience, and a lot of critics at the wedding - where can self-esteem restrain itself? That’s why “the hamstrings” begin to shake.
- Lack of experience. Excitement before speaking in public can be explained by a lack of experience and new emotions. It is not surprising that there is tremors in the arms and legs, sweating and a lump in the throat.
- Fear of error. Everyone makes mistakes, but this understanding comes only with age. That's why we are afraid before the exam, at a new job. In any situation where we will be assessed and commented on. The reason for this is partly a lack of education and school evaluation.
- Again, the instinct of self-preservation. Before visiting a doctor, we are overcome by anxiety and excessive excitement, which can be difficult to calm down. This is due to the fact that we are afraid for our lives. And someone is afraid to see an obstetrician, because not everyone likes to learn news that will change their whole life.
These are the main causes of panic and anxiety. But sometimes inner unrest arises, seemingly for no reason. In fact, psychology says that there is a reason for every worry. It’s just that we can understand and connect some things, but some things are incomprehensible to us. This is why it is important to understand why a certain situation affected us so much.
Ask yourself an important question
Excitement and nervousness are always accompanied by the fact that a person has an endless conversation with himself and begins to worry about everything.
A method proposed by psychologist Karen Whitehead will help stop this internal dialogue. On a small sheet of paper, write just two (maximum three) words about what is bothering you. You can even arrange them in the form of a list with dots or circles. Look at them and ask yourself:
"It is a fact? Is this true or is it what I think?”
Very often it turns out that we are 100% sure of something that we didn’t even bother to check.
Adrenal Fatigue: How to Avoid?
We all experience this condition - from time to time. But if this is your normal lifestyle, your body may be at risk of adrenal fatigue. “A high-sugar, low-protein diet triggers stress responses without us realizing it,” says best-selling author and nutritionist Julia Ross. Ironically, more than 70% of people eat the most unhealthy foods precisely to relieve emotional stress. We could all do with getting our stress hormones checked so we know exactly where on the adrenal fatigue spectrum we each currently fall.
Instead of struggling through the thorns of stress or anxiety (and then beating yourself up for it), it's worth learning as much as possible about your physiology. You can do a saliva test using a test sold at a pharmacy, or you can take a blood test at any health care facility that can help you interpret the results. Then, using the medications prescribed to you, you can restore normal hormone levels in the adrenal glands.
Many experts recommend starting with nutrition - making the necessary changes to your diet and observing the improvements. Start with small but consistent dietary changes (such as a diet high in protein and gluten-free vegetables), take natural vitamins and supplements (more B vitamins and omega-3 fish oil, for example), and try natural herbs (such as rhodiola for focus and balance; chamomile or passionflower to stimulate the “calming” parts of your brain).
Now I want to tell you some secret tricks that will instantly boost your self-confidence and reduce your anxiety levels.
A look as a marker of fear
The main application for leadership in a communication situation is an open, direct look directly into the eyes of another living being - a person or an animal. This may seem strange, but in our world of incessant competition, the saving grace is not the art of withstanding such a gaze, but the ability to avert yours in time. This is the only way to demonstrate submission in time and avoid physical harm. But then you will have to put yourself in the place of a subordinate with all the ensuing consequences. To withstand such a gaze means to make an enemy, and to look away means to submit. Is it possible to choose something third? It turns out yes!
In the “staring game” common in the animal and human world, the script instructs those who want to avoid reprisals to look down, thereby indicating their submission. Since the animal is entirely driven by instinct, it cannot change this scenario. But a person can. To begin with, during such a competition of glances, try to look up, not down. This will break the script. It’s as if you gave up dominance, but you also didn’t submit according to all the rules. Anyone inexperienced in the practical psychology of a “visual aggressor” will certainly be baffled by such behavior. But I recommend going a step further and not making eye contact from the start. If you look approximately at the border of hair growth, that is, where the forehead ends and the hair begins to grow, the interlocutor has a dual impression: on the one hand, they seem to be looking straight into his eyes, on the other, he cannot catch the eye in order to start competing . All he has to do is stop trying to compete, otherwise he will become nervous and lose even more. For a person who does not want to subjugate anyone, looking at the hair growth limit is perceived as polite.
How to get rid of anxiety if it is not associated with a mental disorder
In this case, the usual methods to control stress will help. There are dozens of them. Here are the most popular and effective.
Take a few deep breaths and long exhalations
Scientists at Stanford University have discovered Study shows how slow breathing induces tranquility in an area in the brain that links the frequency and depth of breathing and emotional state. As it turns out, the more active and shallow we breathe, the more nervousness and excitement we experience.
Play soothing music or listen to the sounds of nature
In 2021, researchers proved IT'S TRUE - THE SOUND OF NATURE HELPS US RELA: when people listen to the sounds of nature, their stress levels noticeably decrease. The same goes for calm, muted music.
By the way, here is the most soothing track recorded by scientists from the British Academy of Sound Therapy:
Switch away from the topic that's causing you anxiety.
For example, if you are nervous about the news, turn off the TV and log off from social media. Instead, watch a comedy or melodrama, read a book, play with your cat, call a friend. Your task is to occupy your head with something else, to take your mind off the stressful situation.
Keep your hands busy
There are many options. Start knitting. Plant flowers under the windows. Read a book to your child or do a couple of physical experiments with him. Wash the dishes or clean the apartment. These classes will help you switch.
Learn to tell yourself “stop”
Watch your thoughts and stop in time. If you find yourself thinking about something disturbing, become aware of this fact. Imagine taking the worrying thought into your fist and putting it aside. And then consciously start thinking about something else - about the situation that you can control.
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