Sincere love: the essence of the feeling, description, difference from falling in love and interesting facts

This article was developed under the heading: Psychology.

Section: Feelings.

In the process of people interacting with each other, special bonds are formed between them. These connections are based on the range of emotions and feelings that arise in a person. One of the most powerful attachments is love and the infatuation that accompanies it. But what is this feeling? How to distinguish love from attraction and infatuation? This article will discuss the main signs of love.

Let's look at what this feeling of “love” is.

Definition of love

“What is love?” - a question that was asked not only by psychologists, writers, but also by philosophers. Therefore, it is necessary to dwell on specific scientific positions that describe such a phenomenon.

From a scientific point of view

The meaning of love in science is considered from different positions. Love is often associated with biological and chemical processes that occur in the human body. We suggest considering this process:

1. The primary reaction of a person to another object (object of love) is associated with the presence in the body of testosterone (male hormone) and estrogen (female hormone), which are directly responsible for the reproduction of offspring;
2. The feeling itself is associated with the release of hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol (excitement, anxiety, fear), dopamine (responsible for the feeling of falling in love - “butterflies in the stomach”, euphoria, attraction, dreams in relation to the object of love), serotonin (influences the fact constant thoughts about a person);
3. Next, we look at the attachment stage, in which oxytocin and vasopressin play a critical role. It is well known that oxytocin is identified as a decisive substance that forms our constant fascination with a person. The presence of this hormone allows us to talk about tenderness, trepidation, and attention to a loved one.

Each hormone gives a signal to the human body

From a psychological point of view

Psychology is a subjective science due to the fact that for each individual a specific concept is associated with his own emotions and feelings. This does not allow us to identify a single term to answer the question “what is love?” If we bring the existing positions to a consensus, we can highlight the following criteria:

1. Respect for a person - accepting the interests, hobbies and views of a partner. Lack of desire to suppress a partner, that is, the exclusion of abusive relationships;
2. Showing empathy and understanding;
3. Caring for your partner;
4. Responsibility for relationships. This means that love presupposes the emergence of responsibility among partners not only in relation to each other, but also in relation to their union as a whole.

There is no common understanding of love in psychology

Love in philosophy

“What is love,” “What is love, what is this feeling” are constant questions of philosophy. Therefore, it is necessary to consider the most popular positions of philosophers on this issue.

Erich Fromm is a famous philosopher, one of whose most popular books is “The Art of Loving”

According to Fromm, love is the desire for interpersonal unity. In fact, in his works, Fromm says that love is an ideal state of interpersonal unity, when a person finds a mature answer to the question of his existence.

Sigmund Freud - founder of psychoanalysis

He considered love as the sexual attraction of one person to another. He equates all human emotions and feelings to accompanying factors, the main purpose of which is the desire for sexual intimacy with a specific object.

Friedrich Engels - one of the founders of the theory of Marxism

Among other views, Engels's position is strikingly different. In his opinion, love means mutual respect between persons, understanding, freedom and equality.

However, none of the approaches can describe the feelings that you and I experience for a specific person. For the most part, people view this phenomenon through the prism of their own experiences, fears, and desires, so the identified terms can be strikingly different from each other.

Concept in literature

In most existing books, the feeling in question is the central element of the narrative. And this is justified, since every person sooner or later asks the question “What is love?” Of course, each literary hero came to his own understanding of such a feeling. Let's look at the most interesting literary definitions:

1. Goncharov "Oblomov". In this novel, the answer to the question “what kind of feeling is love” is considered as a special moral test for the characters. It is assumed that the feeling itself causes a special kind of suffering in a person - sadness, anxiety, disappointment, etc.;
2. S. Yesenin. The work of this poet was considered defiant and frank for the period of his activity. However, if you read the poet’s lines, you can note that for him love is the highest feeling and the special goal of every person to experience it;
3. L. N. Tolstoy “War and Peace.” In this novel, the question “what is love” is examined through the development of the main character, Natasha Rostova. From feelings of love and attraction, she comes to peaceful unity and understanding with Pierre Bezukhov. This is represented in Tolstoy’s understanding as eternal and inexhaustible love.

In literature, the main issue at all times has been the theme of true love.

From a domestic point of view

Love is a special feeling. The word “love” is heard quite often in ordinary conversations within the family or alone with your partner. From an everyday point of view, love is affection, understanding, trust, attraction to a person.

How is love different from falling in love?

This question is probably the most pressing at the moment. Many people turn to psychologists to analyze how they feel about their partner. And quite often love is mistakenly equated with affection, falling in love and codependent relationships. It is a generally accepted fact that falling in love is one of the stages of a romantic relationship, therefore, it is a stage that can lead to feelings of love.

We invite you to consider the distinctive ones in order to determine what love is and how it differs from falling in love:

Table of the relationship between love and infatuation

Is it worth loving?

Love also has its contradictions. Unfortunately, this is not always all-consuming happiness and joy from experiencing this feeling. After all, sincere love may not find reciprocity, bring disappointment, pain of loss and loss from such a negative factor as betrayal and betrayal. It can burn painfully, cause incredible suffering, and can even drive you crazy in the literal sense of the word. But if we talk about sincere love and ask the question whether it is worth loving, probably the correct answer will be - it is worth it, since, along with possible suffering, this is the most powerful, brightest, most expressive positive feeling that a person can experience.

How is love different from other feelings?

In fact, the feeling of love can be compared to almost all feelings we experience. However, we can focus on the most important comparisons, which will be discussed below.

Love and affection

You have probably heard or even used the phrase “I love him (her) so much, I am so attached” more than once. But is such a comparison so positive?

Attachment is often equated with dependence, which is clearly not a healthy factor in a relationship. Attachment is a feeling based on a specific time period. This means that attachment is more like a habit towards a person. For example, your partner is convenient for you because your relationship has existed for a long time. This is called attachment. Accordingly, it is impossible to compare love and affection, since one is an ideal idea of ​​the unity of souls, and the other is a habit.

Sometimes attachment can arise in love. For example, you have been living together for 10 years; against the backdrop of love, a habit may arise towards a person, since you have been sharing life with him for quite a long time. However, love cannot arise from initial attachment.

Love and dependent relationships

Dependent or codependent relationships are a very common problem in psychological practice. Quite often people confuse the feeling of love and dependence towards a partner.

Codependency suggests that people are so absorbed in each other that it prevents them from thinking about themselves and their own lives. Codependent relationships have the following characteristics:

1. Thoughts that you do not have the right to spend time alone with yourself or with other people around you;
2. You are trying to fill all your time with just your partner;
3. The possibility of separation, even short-term (for example, a walk), is seen as a threat to you and your relationship;
4. You don’t see your own development;
5. All your thoughts are occupied by only one person;
6. You can easily neglect your desires and interests for the sake of another person (it should be distinguished from altruism);
7. Life seems impossible without a partner.

Codependency is a serious problem for modern couples

How is love different from friendship?

The origins of these feelings are identical - true friendship is just as selfless and sincere. However, it is still possible to define some criteria that distinguish these two feelings from each other:

1. Friendship can be extended to several people at once. Whereas love presupposes a specific person who is the source of emotion;
2. There is an opinion that friendship is only possible between people of the same sex. However, this position is not correct. Friendship can also arise between a man and a woman;
3. Friendship is also based on sympathy, so there are often cases when friendship develops into love and subsequent relationships between individuals;
4. In love there is always a sexual attraction to a person, while in friendship this aspect is overlooked. But if a relationship develops into a romantic one from friendship, then attraction may arise;
5. Love is selfless, while friendship is still based on common interests, views and benefits. For example, you can learn something from a person, so it maintains your friendly interest;
6. Friendship is more stable than love.

However, it is worth remembering that with a long friendship and the emergence of confidence in a friend, feelings of love are natural. Love comes in different types - between a parent and a child, friendly, between partners, etc.

Friendship can be the initial stage of love

Difference from passion

Passion is more of a sexual desire, a surge of hormones in the body. Hormones are responsible for human sexual needs. Therefore, passion is a superficial feeling that does not imply the presence of any care, attention, understanding, respect, which is characteristic of the feelings of love. You don't plan a future with a person, you live here and now, trying to satisfy your needs.

Short signatures

1. The more you resist, the more you love.