Greetings, friends!
Friendship is a special relationship between people based on mutual understanding, honesty and trust. Having at least one true friend is one of the most important components of a happy and successful life. Each of us has our own understanding of what friendship is and when it can be considered real. People often call friends all the friends with whom they spend a lot of time, periodically go somewhere on vacation or visit them. But true friendship is much more than just friendly relations. Let's find out.
What it is?
Friendship is a selfless personal relationship between people, based on common hobbies and interests, on mutual respect. This is how Wikipedia describes this concept.
But I don’t want to talk about friendship in the dry language of explanatory dictionaries. I want to write poems about true friendship and sing about it. After all, this is not just mutual trust, affection, spending time together. This is a certain state of mind, an internal connection that unites hearts and souls, a desire to empathize and support each other. Very often, friends are connected by deeper ties than blood kinship.
By and large, friendship is one of the manifestations of love.
You can't have too many friends
There are many wonderful works about friendship and friends. And everywhere there is a reminder that you can’t have too many friends.
People are united by more than simple interests. They are united by common secrets, personal secrets. A fair conclusion: if three people know about a secret, then everyone knows.
Now the rhythm of life has changed, technical possibilities for friendship at a distance through social networks have appeared. Such friendship is rarely mutually enriching spiritually; the person continues to remain lonely, creating an illusion.
Who can you call a friend?
A friend, as Wikipedia explains, is a sworn brother, a comrade, a sworn brother, but not a blood relative.
A friend can be called a person who understands that friendship is a 24-hour concept. Only a friend is ready to pick up the phone at any time of the day or night, listen or rush to help, without demanding anything in return. Like in a good children's song:
There are friends, and for them, friends have no days off!
A friend is a person you can rely on, who will never let you down or betray you.
Being friends does not mean living your friend’s life instead. Being friends means always being close
conclusions
Friendship is one of the most important values in a person’s life. It is valuable in itself, because it makes our life more interesting and rich. In addition, psychologists believe that having good friends allows us to be much more effective and successful in other areas of life.
And for this it is very important that the friendship be sincere and selfless, because this is the only way to be sure that it is real.
Therefore, finding a true friend is a great success.
And if you're lucky enough to have it, treasure those relationships and never forget how important they are .
Why is friendship needed?
Is it possible to do without friends? For most people no. It’s not for nothing that people say that friendship gives strength, confidence, and cleanses the soul. With whom, if not with a friend, over a cup of delicious tea or aromatic coffee, you can discuss your problems, share your innermost thoughts and dreams, and sometimes just be silent together.
Most people do not accept loneliness, and in modern society it is impossible to completely isolate yourself from society, to withdraw into your shell. Even the most closed person has at least one person whom he can call a friend.
When a person has one true friend, he is already fabulously rich. The great Cicero also said that we use neither water nor fire as often as friendship. They also say that you can never have too many friends.
Why does this happen, why do people need friends? Everything is very simple. Every person needs someone's attention, support, care. Who else, if not a friend, can you trust with your innermost thoughts and secrets, with whom else can you discuss the circumstances and events happening in life? Who, if not a friend or girlfriend, can sincerely rejoice at successes and achievements, sympathize with grief and give wise advice?
Why do you have problems with friends?
You've probably come across people who are disappointed in friendship and try not to get attached to anyone. This is puzzling, because friends bring bright colors into our lives.
There are a few common reasons why some people experience friendship problems:
- Excessive demands. Psychologists note that most often problems with friends arise from those who make excessive demands on friendship. In their opinion, the friend’s list of obligations goes beyond what is permitted. Their partners “must” do everything without unnecessary comments, without their own interests and affairs. The reason for such views is a distorted understanding of the concept of “friendship” as such. Often a person does not put forward his demands, but simply becomes disappointed in his friends when they do not meet them. Extra responsibility weighs heavily on any person. That is why comrades prefer not to enter into the status of a friend.
- Inability to resolve conflict. Misunderstandings arise between people regularly. If you do not accumulate dissatisfaction within yourself and are able to correctly express your complaints, you can avoid a major quarrel. The accumulation of negative energy often leads to an emotional outburst, which can be a fatal blow to friendships.
- Reluctance to change the point of perception. Sometimes it’s worth looking at the situation from your partner’s perspective. Things don't always happen as we think. The worst way out is to stand your ground without trying to hear your friend. People who do not compromise on principle tend to be left without friends. Selfishness ruins any relationship.
What does true friendship consist of?
In fact, true friendship cannot be broken down into components, squeezed into templates or frames. It is multifaceted and individual, and in each specific case it has its own system of connections and relationships.
But there are still some fundamental components of friendship. This:
trust and respect emotional connection and mutual assistance constancy and lack of competition self-sacrifice and honesty nurturing positive qualities selflessness and faith in friendship
Confidence
Friendship and trust are like two sides of the same coin; they cannot exist without each other. It is not for nothing that trust is considered the basis of strong friendship.
Unfortunately, people do not always trust each other. Sometimes trust flares up like a spark, sometimes it takes years to earn it. And only where trust appears, friendship is born. And this fire burns as long as there is trust.
Friendship marred by mistrust is doomed, since mistrust is the first step to betrayal.
True friendship does not require pretense; with a friend you can always be yourself, without playing a role and without trying to seem better
Respect
It's hard to imagine two friends, one of whom shows disrespect to the other. Such an alliance is not initially friendship. Disrespect, no matter what it is caused by - envy, resentment or something else - destroys friendship, makes it insincere. An insincere partner most often simply uses the other for his own purposes.
The ability to respect your friend, accept him as he is, and take his opinion into account are important components of a strong friendship.
Emotional connection
Friendship is characterized by special frankness and deep affection for each other. These include common interests, the opportunity for spiritual communication with a loved one, and the desire to take part in each other’s lives, be it support or wise advice.
The emotional coloring of friendship is multifaceted and diverse:
If the ability to rejoice in the successes and achievements of a friend or girlfriend brings satisfaction and a feeling of happiness - this is friendship. If there is a feeling of calm and security in a relationship, it is friendship. If the successes of friends bring joy, this is friendship.
Help
Friendship lives by its own unwritten laws. It has no charter or rules. Friends usually, at the behest of their hearts, determine their own level of responsibility. And this is not just communication or birthday greetings. This is a mutual desire to help each other in difficult situations.
Doesn’t it often happen that when help is needed, many turn to friends rather than relatives? And a true friend will always rush to do everything possible without unnecessary questions.
Only this way and not otherwise - this is required by the unwritten law of friendship.
Rules for communicating with friends
Friends can provide moral support and help in dire situations completely free of charge. You cannot force someone to become your friend, this feeling always comes on its own. True friendship is also built on mutual respect.
As a rule, a strong friendship develops in several stages:
- Walking together as a child. Communication comes down to discussing toys and cartoons, and in case of a quarrel, children very soon make up.
- In adolescence, friendship only becomes stronger; friends can chat with each other for hours and solve any problems together. They are the first to witness joy or sorrow. It is at this time that communication stops - admission to university, differences in life principles. It depends on sincerity and affection whether it will be possible to maintain the relationship in the future.
- In adulthood, friends are the most faithful people you can rely on. Relationships can develop into a business relationship or end altogether for a number of reasons, including money.
- In old age, friendship is most rare. Usually such people were able to survive a huge amount of adversity together. If this relationship lasted throughout consciousness, then the level of affection of these friends deserves the highest respect.
The rules of communication with friends play an important role, and knowing them will help you maintain relationships or start new ones. The main thing is to be able to distinguish between the levels of relationships, since true friends are their highest form, and it will take a lot of effort to reach it.
What spoils friendship?
Unfortunately, in our time of far-fetched standards, true friendship is increasingly becoming a real luxury. Maintaining friendship is an art, but ruining a relationship is quite easy. Qualities such as envy, guile, excessive curiosity, and using a friend for selfish purposes can not only ruin friendly relations, but also sow enmity between friends.
Envy
There is nothing worse for friendship than envy. This vice often becomes fatal for both parties. Envy can push the envious person to any meanness, betrayal, or deception.
Craftiness
If a friend is capable of deceit for the sake of his own selfish goals, such friendship is worthless. She simply has no future, because sooner or later the secret becomes clear, and then comes disappointment and pain from the loss of a loved one.
We see our reflection in friends
“Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are,” this saying was not born out of nowhere. Before people become friends, they communicate a lot and have the same hobby.
Friends complement each other, are privy to common secrets, become one and adopt certain character traits. If a person lacks something in character or behavior, then he looks for it in a friend. But absolute opposites will not get along with each other, although they will complement the missing character traits. Sincere friendship stands the test of time and changes people.
How is friendship different from camaraderie?
Comrades are not friends, they are a circle of friends whose communication comes down to a common worldview or a common view of some things. Such people can unite based on interests, a joint business or work.
Companionship can often precede friendship.
Types of friendship
Friendship can be different - children's, youth and adults, men's and women's, between a man and a woman.
There are friends who have managed to carry friendship throughout their entire lives: kindergarten, school, university, adulthood, maturity. This is a special art, a gift of life that is not given to everyone.
Friendship has neither age nor gender - it unites hearts and kindred spirits. And she chooses whom to connect with invisible threads of love and affection.
Children's
Touching and naive children's friendship is particularly pure. Children are still inexperienced and unselfish; they trust not experience, but childish intuition. Children's friendship is distinguished by clarity, openness and simplicity; it often begins with a shared toy, a little children's secret or game. Growing up begins with childhood friendship; it is like a ticket to adulthood.
Youth
As children grow older, they become more selective in their choice of friends. At school and adolescence, a division occurs by gender - boys are more likely to be friends with boys, girls with girls.
Youthful maximalism sharpens the edges of relationships and strengthens feelings. Teenagers, as a rule, do not ask questions “Why” or “For what” they are friends - they just feel good together. And even if this friendship ends in childhood, it remains in the memory forever, it is remembered throughout life with special awe and tenderness.
Women's
There is an opinion that there is no real female friendship. It's a myth that women are great at making friends. It’s just that the fair half lives more with experiences and problems, discusses them in detail and often. Women's friendships can be long-lasting and loyal, except when a man comes between the friends.
Men's
Someone wise said that there is nothing stronger than male friendship. Many people believe that only relationships between men can last, while female unions are temporary and short-term. It just happened that way historically. In ancient times, men needed friendship in order to survive - it was difficult to kill a mammoth alone or protect themselves from enemies. Therefore, the strong half of humanity needed not just partnerships, but strong friendships based on trust and confidence that a friend would not betray and would always be able to defend himself.
So male friendship has its roots in ancient times.
Alarm bells
Some people for whom opposite-sex friendships are considered the norm may be surprised by a sudden declaration of love. And moreover, they are not ready for this. After all, love is not always mutual, and some people are not able to fall in love after a while; most likely, they belong to the category for whom the feeling of falling in love covers at the beginning of a relationship.
Does friendship develop into love?! Definitely yes.
Let's look at the signs by which you can determine that your friend is in love with you.
- He started calling you very often. Starts to regularly spend his free time with you. And sometimes he even changes his plans for the sake of the next meeting.
- I am happy to go shopping with you for a long time. Or your friend agrees to a joint vacation in the form of hiking and fishing, although previously she was absolutely uninterested in such entertainment.
- Rejects your attempts to introduce her to a nice guy. Or introduce him to an interesting girl.
- If you have a significant other, then a true friend will always give good advice if you have love problems. A person who is in love with you, on the contrary, will point out shortcomings, trying to destroy your relationship, even if not consciously.
- Flirting, gentle touching and obsessive attention are among the main signs of a romantic relationship.
