Few men think about what qualities and criteria a real man should have by nature and temperament. Although in modern society concepts and boundaries have long been erased, as a result of which many women have become stronger and more successful than men. Therefore, seminars and trainings are increasingly being held, books and methods are being created on how to become a man and cultivate the best traits of a masculine character.
All representatives of the stronger sex can call themselves a man, but not everyone will be perceived as such by the opposite sex. Women tend to evaluate men by their success, nobility, determination, assertiveness and self-confidence. And psychologists name a complete list of qualities and characteristics that will make a true man out of any representative of the stronger sex.
What is a real man like?
To be a real man does not mean to have a set of male chromosomes or genital organs; in the true sense, a man must be holistic and filled with all the necessary qualities. Either women or psychologists who have a qualified understanding of the essence and characters of people will be able to appreciate the degree of masculinity.
Psychologists note that nature created men as males, endowing them with instincts and natural desires, but a person must cultivate a man within himself as he grows, matures and improves himself. To be a man means to be a strong and purposeful warrior who can conquer any heights on the path to personal growth. This is due to fierce intraspecific competition for living space, but in a modern interpretation.
In modern society, a real man must be a warrior in a different sense, namely, have a strong spirit, self-confidence, the ability to defend his interests and position intellectually, be physically developed for normal performance and the ability to defend himself in emergency situations. Particular attention should be paid to the emotional aspect - a man is supposed to be balanced and collected.
Basic rules of a “bad” guy2
First of all, you need to change your behavior. If you are used to bending under others to the detriment of yourself, you should urgently change tactics. Yes, this will not be easy to do. People who are used to you being “good” will not be at all happy about your changes, but you shouldn’t pay attention to them. To make it easier for you to transform from a wimp into a real man, follow a few important rules:
What does it mean: a man in a relationship?
For many women, the assessment of male qualities and characteristics is a predetermining factor in choosing a life partner; external data comes into the background. Some people want a brutal and physically strong partner, some want an intellectually developed partner, others evaluate a man by his success. And only psychologists can formulate a general picture of how to become an ideal man in relationships with the opposite sex.
Expert opinion
Victor Brenz
Psychologist and self-development expert
Initially, it is worth understanding what a true man should not be in a relationship with a woman, namely spineless, henpecked and a doormat. A man should not tolerate a bad attitude, hush up problems, take revenge or stare at every skirt.
Well-known psychologists name several points by which a true man is determined in a relationship with a woman:
- Emotionality - a man must be psychologically and mentally mature, serious and restrained. A man differs from a woman precisely in that he does not give in to emotions, hormonal surges and impulsiveness.
- Egocentrism - men tend to strive to change a woman to suit themselves, without changing themselves. Psychologists say that a man should dominate in a relationship, taking more responsibility upon himself. But at the same time, you shouldn’t break a woman completely, just as you shouldn’t break under her pressure.
- Mommy or the meaning of life - you shouldn’t allow a woman to control absolutely any process in a man’s life. In the eyes of a girl, you need to be a guiding and leading partner, and most importantly, not to confuse the role of your beloved woman and mother. Even in the choice of washing powder, a man must often take part.
- Candy-bouquet period - you should not bribe and win over a woman with gifts, it all depends on the relationship and communication between partners.
- Intimate life - many believe that a man became a real man after he began to be sexually active. In fact, sex is an art that needs to be learned. If one of the partners sends sex in conversations with friends, this is the main indicator that sexual energy is not being fully realized. Sex should be regular, relaxed, and any desires should be expressed.
If you decide how to develop masculine qualities in yourself in order to become a real man in relationships with the opposite sex, you can not only create a strong and loving family, but also maintain the correct model of behavior for each of its members for life.
Know how to listen
Be attentive to the girl’s words, show your interest. When a story is told about an important experience or life events, remember more details. This will help you get out of it if your beloved suddenly assumes that you turned a deaf ear to her speech. Learn to understand body language so you can see what isn't being said. For example, if a lady is silent and twirls her hair, it means she is nervous and worried.
How to develop masculine qualities in yourself?
To become a physically and mentally strong man, you need to work on yourself throughout your life, improving in several areas at once. It is quite possible to grow from a boy into a man if you develop several fundamental qualities:
- Determination - every man must correctly formulate goals, then plan actions to implement them, and most importantly, not deviate from his intentions and priorities.
- Intelligence - to be smart means to be successful and self-sufficient in the future, since it is intellectual abilities that predetermine a man’s activity and quality of life.
- Physical fitness - to be worthy of the title of a real man, it is equally important to maintain your muscle and body strength. Pumped up muscles are just a screen to attract attention; it is important for a man to be strong, courageous, able to stand up for himself and his other half, regardless of the shape of the body.
- Responsibility - to be responsible means to impose obligations on yourself and fulfill them at all costs, even if it is difficult or unimportant.
- Self-control - there are situations in life when life and family, work activities or other areas slip out of your hands, and some goals cannot be realized. A true man never explodes, does not give in to circumstances and emotions, analyzing with a cold mind and wisdom.
Do you consider yourself a real man?
Not really
According to the representatives of the stronger sex themselves, it is also important to be a proud man, but psychologists note that this is not true in all situations and circumstances. Pride should border on integrity and nobility, but it has no place in relationships with loved ones.
Work on yourself
In the process of becoming a real man, first of all, working on yourself is important. Therefore you should:
- Learn to control your emotions, not show people your grievances and disappointments.
- Try to take full responsibility for everything that happens in your life.
- Learn to make decisions independently, firmly aware of your choice.
You should not be afraid of life's difficulties - take them as a chance to discover something new. In any situation, even a difficult one, look for positive moments. And don't forget that negative thoughts lead to actions that often make your situation worse. And don’t worry about how to become a strong man, just become one.
How not to be a wimp in a woman's eyes?
Many women themselves turn to specialists with the question of how to force a man to be a man. Undoubtedly, a lot depends on the woman herself, including the position of the man in the family. Due to emancipation, feminism and other trends that influence the role of women in society and relationships with the opposite sex, many ladies have a tendency to pull the blanket over themselves. That is, women prefer to solve many men’s problems alone.
For reference! The model of behavior in family relationships largely depends on the family in which a man grew up from childhood. Psychologists note the pressing question of how to become a man without a father, by independently cultivating masculine qualities in oneself. Unfortunately, according to statistics, most men from dysfunctional families have an incorrect relationship model, as a result of which the wife turns into a second mother.
If in childhood a mother raised a boy to be a pleaser and an obedient child who fulfills all requirements, in adulthood such a man will also be manipulated by a woman, even unconsciously. Therefore, it is important to adhere to the basic principles of a real man in a relationship, namely:
- a woman is not an object of pleasure or worship, but the center of masculinity;
- a woman’s love is a motivator for self-improvement and growth, and a reason to hide in the shell;
- restraint - a man should be a source of strength and balance even in moments of crisis, and not a boy trying to prove he is right, foaming at the mouth.
For a true man, a woman is a source of strength, vital energy and a motivator for new actions and goals. At the same time, you should not indulge all the whims and demands, but make it clear that the responsibility for most decisions will lie with the man. This will allow you to be a wise, respectful and dominant member of the family in the eyes of a woman, and not a doormat and a pleaser.
Words or actions?
Famous actress Tatyana Arntgolts said: “An action is the main thing a man can do for a woman. Appreciating this act is the main thing a woman can do for a man.” I think you will agree that words are less important for the fair half than actions. Unfortunately, there are many strong men in the world who do not want and do not do the simplest, most banal things that please the ladies. Therefore, when choosing between someone who can sing sweetly and beautifully and someone who is ready to do things for her, a woman most often focuses her attention on the second.
Some tips
No one is born into this world as a formed person, everything depends on external and internal factors that constantly influence the life, character, consciousness and events around a man. Not every boy is lucky enough to receive a proper upbringing in a full-fledged family, so you need to cultivate a real warrior and a strong man on your own.
The first thing you need to overcome is laziness, for this you can attend trainings, seminars, study the biography of famous male figures . The second equally important activity for every man is sports, which disciplines and improves physical fitness. The third aspect on the path to growth and development is intelligence, which is best improved by reading. At the same time, it is important to choose the right literature, and not read pulp novels and detective stories.
Positive thoughts are half the battle
As you know, thoughts have the ability to attract corresponding life events. And if you constantly think negatively, then like will attract like. We often see people who radiate so much positivity that we get the impression that everything in life is simple and easy for them. In fact, this is far from the case. They simply learned to fight back against their problems with the power of optimism. To learn from their experience and learn how to become a man, you should change your thinking to a positive one. As a rule, an optimist is a person who is confident in himself and his abilities. He tries to look at the world in a positive way and suppress all negative emotions in himself in every possible way. Be optimistic - and soon the whole world will bow to you!
Your own teacher
Let now each of the men who reads these lines honestly answer HIMSELF the question: “Am I worthy to call myself a real man?”
Honestly! To myself. Without the need to justify yourself to anyone, without the desire to please someone or the shame of admitting your shortcomings to other people.
You are the person who knows much more about yourself than others. Answer yourself: there are qualities in you that you would like to eradicate, and in their place grow something more than just “quality.”
We are all not perfect, but a man who is aware of his status will not waste his life and time on pettiness and baseness. If you decide to take charge of your upbringing, then cast aside all doubts and act.
So, first you need to identify for yourself the areas in which you need to work on corrections. It is better to write down this and subsequent work on paper - visualizing goals greatly helps in their implementation.
Vote using the repost buttons!
If I see a lot of reposts and comments, it will be an inspiration for me to further expand on this topic. Well, if not, then let's change the topic.
I warned you at the beginning that there are a lot of categorical judgments in this post; I am expressing here my subjective position based on my experience.
If any of the phrases offended or pricked you in any way, I apologize, I had no such intention. I would be grateful if you would share your insights from your experience of following the male path in the comments.
6 Generosity
Oh no, I won’t tell you now how great it is to be generous and throw money left and right. This will bring you nothing but free money hungry girls.
I propose to go the opposite way and show you what makes you an ordinary and gray (not standing out from the crowd) guy. Even if you are already in a relationship.
So, this is demonstrative stinginess . I had such a case in a budding relationship - I was walking around the city with a guy, I wanted to drink, he said - now we’ll buy it. We taxi into the store, take what he wants, go to the checkout, where there is a small line. He hands over the bill and pays. The cashier gives the change and my gentleman begins to count the coins that she gave him. Carefully transferring coins from one hand to another. The line is waiting, I'm waiting. Then he nodded to the cashier that everything was correct, and we left. What the?
As he later told me, he always controls his finances. Isn't it easier then to control them without removing them from the card? - No, you need to withdraw everything so that the bank does not use your money illegally.
In general, he always had this behavior - both when paying for movie tickets and in restaurants. He didn’t leave a tip, so I took mine out and tucked it into the bill.
So, guys, it’s VERY, VERY unpleasant when the money spent on a girl is so pointedly counted, sorted out, and the change is carefully checked. I stand next to him and feel how sorry he is for this money. How he does NOT want to spend them and part with them. And the reason for this is me. Do you know what I mean?
I offered to split the bills a hundred times, buy the tickets myself (for two), but of course, he doesn’t agree to that. He is a man, he invites. In general, do not repeat such mistakes. I quickly broke up with him, and I remember with horror all these “invitations” and outings into society.
What kind of man is this? If next to him you feel like a beggar, and not a desired girl.
Conclusion - if you are greedy, there is no need to publicly demonstrate it. It's off-putting. It’s better to honestly say that you feel sorry for spending money on empty entertainment; I’d rather buy you a bag, Masha. Well, this is if you want to do something nice for a girl.
