How to raise a boy is a question that occupies the minds of most mothers, regardless of the era, because any of them wants to raise the support of the family and raise a real man. Unfortunately, boys do not grow up to be men with a capital “M” on their own. Today, psychologists cannot come to a common opinion regarding who among the adults is more important in raising a son. However, if we analyze the family life of many social units, we can conclude that the greatest influence on boys from the moment of birth until the preschool period is directly exerted by their mothers. Since the first years of a boy’s life, when the baby’s character is formed and basic social skills are formed, it is the mother who spends a significant part of the time with the baby. It is the woman who, in practice, demonstrates to her son how to treat the weaker half of humanity.
How to raise a boy without a father
Contrary to popular belief, a boy raised by women will not necessarily grow up to be weak and weak. The statement that a boy raised without a father will grow up to be an inferior man is fundamentally incorrect and, rather, affects single mothers as a self-fulfilling forecast. It is much worse when children are raised in a family where the father is an alcoholic, where constant quarrels and misunderstandings reign, where the father raises his hand against the mother, etc. Single-parent families, first of all, are those in which there is a shortage of parental love and lack of attention.
A family where a son is raised by one woman naturally has certain problems and difficulties, but it is still better than raising children in government institutions.
How to raise a boy to be a real man - advice from psychologists
First of all, even in the absence of a father, who is a model of male behavior in a boy’s life, there must be such an example to follow. For this purpose, you can use an uncle, grandfather, coach, teacher, brave cartoon character, etc. It is also recommended to give the baby to the so-called “male” sport. Thus, the greater the number of male persons who are invariably present in his life, the better.
Mothers also need to monitor their own attitude towards the stronger sex. You should not insult men in the presence of children; also, when surrounded by men, mothers should not feel awkward, aggressive, or uncomfortable. After all, the child can feel this, as a result of which he will have mixed feelings caused by the discrepancy between the mother’s attitude towards him and the men around him, the result of which will be misunderstanding and internal conflict.
How can a woman raise a boy? When raising a baby without a father, it is not recommended to try to compensate him for the lack of male attention, at the cost of excessive “lisping” or fulfilling any of his whims. The surest decision would be to teach your son to be independent from an early age. If something doesn’t work out for the boy the first time, then you don’t need to immediately run to his aid; it’s better to invite him to try to repeat his own actions.
It is also recommended that mothers often take the position of a “weak woman” when communicating with the baby. In other words, when raising a son, a woman should not forget about her nature and be affectionate with him, a caring and loving parent, and not a magician who can solve absolutely all the boy’s problems, depriving the baby of the opportunity to try to cope with difficulties on his own. Also, such behavior will help develop in your son the ability to sympathize, pity and empathize, and teaches him to be a caring, helpful, strong man.
In addition, it is necessary to often praise the child and tell him phrases like: “you are my protector”, “you will definitely succeed!” etc. After all, for a boy growing up without a father, such praise has a special meaning. With this behavior, women reinforce the importance of the boy in the eyes of his mother.
Thus, women who are interested in the question of how to raise a man from a boy, on the one hand, need to be feminine and weak, and on the other hand, to be known as a confident and strong-willed person. Mothers raising sons without fathers should not try to combine feminine and masculine roles; they just need to remain themselves. It is also not recommended to play the role of a victim of circumstances in front of your son.
Raising a boy, a future real man, should not be perceived as a duty or a life obligation. As a result of the above, a boy raised by women in order to become a real man has all the prerequisites.
The best toys
Let's talk about the principles of choosing toys for a 3-4 year old boy. Psychologists recommend offering him as much “male” entertainment as possible, and we are not talking about cars, soldiers and weapons, but about a fireman’s helmet, a set of carpentry tools, and a ship’s wheel. Such fun can be purchased in stores or made independently.
These toys have several advantages:
- from an early age, the child gets acquainted with “male” professions;
- spends less time at the computer;
- Children find these types of games very interesting.
The advice from psychologists is this: you should purchase similar toys of discreet colors, this also helps to cultivate masculinity.
At 5-6 years old, you can give children the opportunity to help dad by hammering a nail or whittling something. It is important not to try to prohibit them from working, but to keep them under supervision so that the baby does not accidentally get hurt. Such help allows the child to feel more important and improves his self-esteem. The father is required to show patience and not take it out on the baby if something doesn’t work out for him. Screaming and swearing will do their job - interest in physical work will disappear forever.
In an incomplete family, boys can help one of the male relatives, in this way they will be able to join male activities. When the baby grows up a little, you should find a club for him, the teacher of which is a man, and one that the child will really like. Such a positive example is very important in the development of character.
Active games
Raising a son requires the mandatory use of outdoor games, but not all parents are delighted with this. Noise, disorder - this is what catch-up, hide-and-seek and similar fun entail. In addition, there may not be enough free space in the room. However, such games are necessary.
The task of parents is not to prohibit with all their might, but to ennoble these fun, to make of them a way of personal development. So, a child can simply play catch-up, or he can, with the help of his parents, come up with a complex plot in which there are positive and negative characters, and real interplanetary wars are being waged. You can tell your child about the Vikings, Indians, partisans, samurai, Roman legionnaires, warriors of Russian princes and others, and select suitable equipment for them. It is certainly interesting for children to temporarily transform into a resident of past eras; in addition, they will learn new information.
Active games cannot be prohibited, otherwise a child who is forced to restrain himself in kindergarten or at school, without receiving emotional release at home, will become nervous and irritable.
How to raise a boy correctly
It is important in raising a male child to give him trust and a certain amount of freedom. It is not recommended to forbid him to spend time with the children in the yard or communicate with other boys. The boy must be given the opportunity to independently find solutions to situations of confrontation.
To do this, parents should make some effort. One of the most common misconceptions among parents of both sexes is related to the difference in educational measures applied to sons and daughters. For some reason, some mothers and almost the majority of fathers think that with a boy one should not indulge in “calf tenderness” and so-called “lisping”, believing that as a result of such behavior the boy will not grow into a real man. However, things are different in reality. Psychologists have provided evidence that among newborns of both sexes, boys are born weaker than girls, so they often need affection more than girls.
Way out of the crisis
Lead by positive example
Thus, having gone through a crisis, all family members should take away the main thing from it: the child - a sense of himself as a separate, individual person and self-respect, interest in learning about the world and independence, adults - the ability to negotiate and maintain the child’s trust, adequate boundaries of what is permitted and emotional contact.
And the main thing is to always remember that children copy their parents in many ways. Therefore, you need to educate yourself and set a good example for them. Then you can not focus on parenting, but simply love your children.
How to raise a 2 year old boy
The educational impact on boys, in any case, is based on the age characteristics of the child. Therefore, it is necessary to start a conversation about how to properly raise a 2-year-old boy with an understanding of what a two-year-old baby is like.
Until one and a half years of age, there is no difference in the upbringing of children of different sexes. It is at the age of two that the baby begins to understand that boys are different from girls. At two years old, the boy already begins to realize that he belongs to the male gender and identifies himself accordingly.
Positive communication with him is of great importance in the educational impact on a two-year-old boy. You should not get angry or hit a baby at the age of two, otherwise boys will feel that they are not loved, which can cause the appearance of the first symptom of a basic distrust of the world.
By the age of two, boys not only improve their walking, but also develop the ability to run and jump, they learn to throw a ball, and their sense of balance improves. Therefore, a boy should not be prohibited from developing physically. It's okay if, in trying to run and jump, he gets a few bumps and a couple of bruises.
At this stage, the boys develop an attitude towards housework - they have a desire to help their mother, a desire to sweep or vacuum, etc. Such aspirations of children should be encouraged, otherwise they can be discouraged and in the future the child will simply “come out on his own.”
In the two-year age period, for the first time, the need to develop certain prohibitions and certain norms of behavior appears. Contrary to the popular opinion of most psychologists, a baby begins to understand the word “impossible” at approximately the age of three, therefore certain restrictions and a system of non-physical punishment must be introduced already at the age of two.
It is not recommended to overwhelm the boy with excessive care and you should not put pressure on him with your own expectations. For example, if a two-year-old boy does not speak, this is not a reason not to sleep at night. It should be taken into account that boys start talking later than girls. The main thing at this stage is the formation of motor activity and cognitive interests. And even if the baby doesn’t draw as well as the neighbor’s child, then you shouldn’t be upset. After all, each baby develops individually. And with their own expectations and subsequent dissatisfaction or frustration, parents demonstrate their dislike to the child.
The main activity of two-year-old boys is play, which consists of actions with objects of a manipulative nature. It is through such a game that the baby gets to know the environment, the objects in it and the people. Directly in play activities, it is easier to teach boys discipline, routine, order, certain rules, hygiene skills and basic labor skills, how to handle objects and compare them.
It is important for parents to learn that boys should not be punished with cruelty or indifference. By doing this, the parents only demonstrate their weakness to the baby, which can subsequently turn into a weakness of the boy’s character. Strength of spirit in boys needs to be cultivated using other methods.
Children should also be raised according to their gender. In other words, it is not recommended to use words such as “bunny” or “honey” when referring to a male baby. It is better to address your son as follows: “son” or “my beloved protector.”
Testing parents for strength
At the age of three and four years, a little person is no longer an object doing everything according to the orders of adults, but a fully formed individual personality, with his own emotions and desires. Sometimes these desires do not coincide at all with the rules established by adults, and, trying to achieve his goal, the child begins to show character, or, as adults say, to be capricious. The reason could be any: the wrong spoon for eating, the wrong juice that you wanted a minute ago, an unpurchased toy, etc. For parents, these reasons seem insignificant, and the only way out they see is to overcome the desire of the baby, force him to do as they want and are used to doing. Raising children 3-4 years old sometimes requires incredible patience from others.
How to raise a 3 year old boy
In early childhood, the most important thing for children of the stronger sex is to be in the zone of parental attention and care, primarily of the mother. At the same time, a father should not shy away from raising a 3-year-old boy, citing the fact that his son is still small. At the age of three, boys develop a sense of security and a sense of openness to the environment. Therefore, the care of both parents is quite important for them.
What principles should the upbringing of a three-year-old boy be based on? What educational measures are acceptable, and which ones are best avoided? The listed questions become acute for adults when their male child reaches the age of three.
So, how to raise a man from a boy? To answer this question, you need to understand that at the stage of three years of age there is already a clear differentiation by gender in comparison with the two-year period. Therefore, at this age it is very important to try not to miss the formation in boys of self-love as a representative of the strong half of humanity. The son should think that he is a boy, and it is good to be a boy. This statement must be constantly reinforced and emphasized in praise. For example: “You are brave.” And phrases like “weakling” need to be excluded from your own vocabulary in relation to your son.
How to raise a boy for dad? Due to the fact that a child at the age of three feels even more strongly that he belongs to the stronger half of humanity. That is why his father becomes an object of admiration and increased interest for him. The boy strives to be like the head of the family in absolutely everything, and often tries on some of his things. In cases where the father is characterized by impatience and excessive irritability in relation to the baby, the son will feel awkward in his company and among other males. As a result, he will begin to look up to his mother and reach out to her. Therefore, for fathers, the optimal time to begin the educational process in relation to boys is the age of three. You shouldn’t wait until the kids get older and, therefore, wiser, as you could waste time. Therefore, mothers are recommended to send their sons for a walk with their husbands, which will allow them to find free time for themselves, and fathers will get to know their own child better.
The next principle of educational influence, which answers the question of how to raise a boy to be a real man, will be to provide space for a three-year-old son. Here, first of all, we are talking about physical space. Since boys need free space for normal functioning and development. After all, they are constantly on the move. It is imperative to release bodily energy; active games contribute to this.
There are also hyperactive children who require a slightly different approach. In order to understand how to raise a hyperactive boy, you should turn to the concept of hyperactivity. Hyperactivity syndrome consists of pronounced excessive mobility of children and impulsiveness. Such children are characterized by restlessness, they constantly spin around, are fickle in their hobbies (now they can do one thing, and literally a minute later - another), as a result of which many things are not completed.
A hyperactive three-year-old boy requires special treatment. Since one of the developmental crises occurs at the age of three, at this stage the baby begins to clearly differentiate its gender and all this is complicated by hyperactivity. Therefore, if parents pay special attention to the question of how to raise a hyperactive boy, then there is no need to fight the innate properties of the baby, it is necessary to correct only manifestations of hyperactivity. There is no need to punish the boy for such manifestations, because it is not his fault that he still lacks self-regulation skills. You just need to help him learn to manage his own behavior and protect him from overwork. If active games are suitable for a non-hyperactive baby, then a hyperactive baby should be taught passive games, for example, you can draw with him.
In addition, regardless of whether the son is hyperactive or not, he needs to feel parental love. Therefore, parents should show their children their love from time to time.
The age of three can be considered a cult of independence. Very often from children at this age you can hear the phrase: “I myself.” If the actions that the boy is trying to perform cannot harm him, then he should be allowed to do them. For example, tying your own shoelaces.
Also, in the educational impact it is necessary to take into account the fact that boys, by nature, are researchers. It is at the age of three that their investigative nature begins to manifest itself in the form of disassembled cars. Therefore, you should not scold them for broken toys. It is necessary to provide them with the opportunity to satisfy their research needs while monitoring the safety of their son.
Born to be a man
A win-win option to show your joy about raising a true man is to name the baby with a real man's name. That is why it is better not to take dual names, which are also worn by women. But the accepted attributes for boys in the form of blue clothes and blue strollers are not very important in the formation of a masculine character. This is rather a signal from the parents that they have a growing man.
A strong and reliable protector - and one wouldn’t dare say that about a baby who hasn’t even learned to speak yet, but grabs his parents by the hair with his small, grasping fingers.
However, you can look at it with different eyes, clenched palms are a real fist, the requirement to constantly suck is the makings of a healthy appetite, and loud screams are the commands of a young commander.
How to raise a 4 year old boy
We can highlight several simple principles aimed at solving the problem of how to raise a 4-year-old boy.
The first principle is that one should not be afraid to cripple a boy with affection and care. According to numerous studies, male children receive four times less praise and several times more punishment. Therefore, parents should not forget that a four-year-old boy is still a child, and not a small adult. He may be afraid of something; for him, a trip to a new place can be a life event. It is important to understand that adult living standards, concepts of time and space are not suitable for a four-year-old child.
In the age period, which falls on four years, the baby’s emotionality begins to form. And parents at this stage demand restrained behavior from him or, with their careless phrases, forbid him to show emotions. This behavior is fundamentally wrong. A four-year-old boy is just a child, not an adult. Therefore, it is necessary to teach the boy to correctly express his own emotions.
It should also be taken into account that boys at any age require more free space than the fair sex. Therefore, in order to balance the frantic hurricane of activity, it is recommended to purchase a sports corner for your son. Filial restlessness and noisiness must be treated with condescension and patience. However, you should still remember to focus the baby’s attention on the fact that he, as a man, needs to be balanced.
It is during the four-year period that the completion of the formation of boys’ ideas about their own personalities as representatives of the male sex occurs. Previously, the baby was guided by the external differences between the representatives of the strong half and the weak. At the age of four, the child already clearly identifies himself with the male gender and understands how to behave.
What you need to properly raise boys
- Read fairy tales about knights and rescuers in the title role;
- Play football, basketball, karate, fencing with your son more often;
- Buy him toys for both boys and girls. There will be nothing wrong if a boy plays a gardener or a cook. This will not affect him in any way, but he will learn to worry and take care of loved ones;
- Dad should bring friends so that the baby can observe the relationships between adult men at home;
- Visit your grandfather more, talk about relatives in a good manner;
- Mommy is obliged to tell good words about daddy (even if he does not live with his family).
Each of us has qualities that can be praised; - Emphasize your son’s courageous actions and ignore his weaknesses - because this happens to everyone.
How to raise a 5 year old boy
At the age of five, the ability to identify one’s own person with a certain gender is already fully formed. Therefore, kids begin to actively strive to communicate with representatives of the fair half of humanity, but they are especially drawn to their mothers. After all, for them, it is the mother who is the sweetest, kindest and most beautiful. Often at this age boys want to marry their mothers. Starting from the age of five, a transition occurs in the baby’s life from childhood to school life. Therefore, at this stage, the upbringing of a 5-year-old boy should be aimed at developing the necessary life skills and optimizing performance. Raising five-year-old children should lay the foundation and behavioral characteristics.
How to properly raise a 5 year old boy? First of all, it is necessary to instill in him a joyful anticipation of school life; the boy must look forward to this moment. Thanks to this, parents will be able to correctly and painlessly adjust his daily routine.
We should also not forget that the future support of the family is being raised. Therefore, it is necessary to continue nurturing masculine qualities, but at the same time, not forgetting to surround your son with care and love. Fathers need to exert more influence, otherwise the boy will grow up to be an insecure individual, withdrawn and uncommunicative. The father’s task is also the physical development of his son.
Until the age of five, a boy can purchase toys that embody male professions (for example, plastic tools, various construction machines, construction sets), and after crossing the five-year mark, he must begin to be introduced to a basic tool (for example, a screwdriver or a light hammer). Let the boy learn to help dad around the house.
It is also necessary to explain to sons that they are stronger than the fair sex, that they should protect the girls and behave with them in a chivalrous manner. At the same time, dad should be an example of such behavior. He should help the woman in everything and show concern for her (for example, carry heavy bags or give up his seat in transport).
To spank or not to spank?
A very serious and difficult question. And here everything depends both on the child’s personality and on upbringing at the age of 1-2 years. Most parents, acting intuitively, turn out to be absolutely right. A one-year-old child reached for the socket, but shouting did not help? A light slap on the butt will make him cry a little, although it will be much worse for the parents. But he will understand that it is impossible to contradict mom and dad (but this is only appropriate in cases where the child is in real danger). As a result, at 5 years old, a normal shout or even a simple conversation is quite enough.
You should not believe the numerous “teachers” who have proliferated in recent years. They claim that every hit on a soft spot will make the child hate his parents. But it was used for many centuries, and families were much more closely knit than they are today. Do not believe those who believe that physical punishment allows you to raise an obedient slave. Take for example the medieval nobles. They were flogged for the slightest offense. And strongly, conceived to the point of bleeding. And from them grew great scientists, writers, artists, and warriors. And it is simply impossible to combine this with a slave nature.
But the best approach is to see in your baby a personality who needs to be helped to open up, then a belt will not be needed.
Psychology, advice and practical recommendations
All parental prohibitions must be justified; the child must clearly understand why they cannot do this or that way.
We can say that after overcoming the crisis of three years, children experience noticeable positive changes in character. They become more independent, focused on details, active, and have their own point of view. Also, relationships with parents move to a new level, conversations become more meaningful, and interest in cognitive and substantive activities appears.
