In the old days, a man in society was considered a breadwinner and protector; the entire well-being of the family depended on him. In the modern world, women and men have equal rights and more and more women occupy leadership positions.
Despite the fact that the times of the “King Pea” when women were completely dependent on the will of their husbands are long gone, men still constantly hear the phrase addressed to them: A man must! What does he owe? Let's find out...
Participate in raising children and make decisions
Especially in raising my son. If a son is raised only by his mother and grandmother, the boy may grow up weak-willed and weak-willed. The father’s goal is to show the child an example of a man, so that he can follow his example in the future.
It is imperative to spend time with the children while the wife is in the kitchen or preparing dinner.
Maintaining discipline within the family is the basis of men's tasks.
It is the man who must solve problems in the life of the family and take responsibility for his actions.
Despite modern trends, in most cases the man in the house is the head.
Men's responsibilities in the family: 25 points
So, we’ve discussed the specifics of the division of responsibilities, now let’s look at the list of what every man should do around the house.
What to do if you don’t know how or can’t cope with any of the above? There are always several options other than to “score” or blame it on a friend. Ask her or one of your family and friends to teach you the necessary skill, watch a lesson on YouTube or hire a specialist for money.
Remember, you are not required to be a “universal soldier” and be able to do everything, but being childish and irresponsible is also not the case.
Men's responsibilities in the home: 25 points
- Childcare (a man should perform this responsibility equally or even more than a woman, since she has already done the hardest part of reproductive work);
- Washing dirty dishes (either just for yourself, or for everyone, if the rule “he who cooks, does not wash” works in your house);
- Cleaning the toilet;
- Cooking food;
- Cleaning the stove or microwave after cooking;
- Washing and hanging clothes;
- Vacuuming the apartment and everything connected with it, including shaking out the bag/container after yourself;
- Wet cleaning of floors with a mop after a vacuum cleaner;
- Timely removal of garbage;
- Washing sinks and bathtubs with cleaning products;
- Cleaning the refrigerator;
- Knife sharpening;
- Timely call of a mechanic or electrician, if necessary;
- Monitoring missing products in the house and organizing their purchase;
- Monitoring the cleanliness and order of personal belongings, including in the closet;
- Ironing your clothes;
- Washing your shoes after going outside;
- Making the bed;
- Sewing up holes in your clothes, sewing on buttons (or going to the nearest tailor shop);
- Wiping all surfaces from dust and dirt (tables, bedside tables, closet shelves, etc.);
- Washing windows and mirrors in the apartment;
- Balcony cleaning;
- Full participation in general cleaning;
- Participation in organizing repairs;
- Help with rearrangement.
- M+F Why does she complain that I play “Tanks”, and what to do about it: advice from a psychologist
- Author: Maria Minaeva
Courting, giving gifts and compliments to a woman
But do not impose or overdo it, because women like independent men. After all, a man who is too compliant and affectionate is often popularly called “henpecked.”
In the progressive West, it has long been considered normal that a woman occupies the position of breadwinner, and the father sits with the children and takes care of the housework. In our country, this practice often results in divorce. We can conclude that a man has more than enough responsibilities in marriage, however, women have no less of them.
Photo: Pixabay
Author: Sergey Tumanov
What and to whom does a man really owe?
Previously, the word “duty”, “must” was used in relation to a woman who occupied the role of service personnel. But the global feminist movement achieved its goal, male authority was disgraced by the great successes of women in all spheres, and now any woman pokes her weak or lazy man in the belly with a barbed reproach that he should too. Discussion of this issue is like ping-pong: adults juggle two statements:
- Yes, I should.
- No, you shouldn't.
Below I will show the third position, which is missing for those standing on opposite sides of this barricade.
Position #1: A real man should!
Who talks about this most often? - O beaten women.
It so happened that events occurred in their fate in which a man caused them pain. Therefore, they appeal to the idea that a real man must protect, answer, earn, love, etc. In short, do everything so that she doesn’t have to go through suffering again.
Most often, women say that a man should:
- Abandoned as children by their fathers;
- Abandoned or offended by their husbands;
- Tired of being strong.
men who have offended who say that “a man should . But not all men, but only those who honestly realized that they had hurt those they loved. In connection with this realization, a feeling of guilt comes to them and at the same time the desire to instill in everyone the idea that “a man should”! Why are they doing that? - so that others do not repeat their mistakes and do not cause pain and suffering to loved ones.
The above-mentioned women like a fragment from the series “Fizruk”, in which the character Thomas instills in the modern independent heroine the idea that he owes her.
Touching, powerful, convincing. But there are also those who disagree.
Position #2: A real man doesn’t owe anyone anything!
Neither parents, nor family, nor children - only himself, because he lives first of all for himself! And when he achieves success, then with the correct (not parasitic) attitude towards him on the part of all of the above, they automatically receive bonuses associated with his victories. And everyone is happy, no complaints.
Sometimes women also agree with this : mostly young, active, purposeful and independently taking their place in the sun in life. Still not completely tired of this.
About slackers who are men only biologically, and who can also declare that they owe nothing, I will modestly remain silent.
Yes, I forgot about a separate caste of people whom I adore - the so-called “spiritually growing” on an industrial scale. They do not identify themselves with either the masculine or the feminine, but rather with the cosmic or divine. These are people with whom it is difficult to be friends, to agree on anything, to sharpen one’s swords and to do mundane things, because they are in sacred and fragile contact with supernatural energies.
My position: The right not to be owed must be earned!
I lead men's therapy groups; I provide individual consultations to both men and women; I work and make friends with those who have achieved success and those who don’t even think about moving their backs. And observing all this diversity, I, as a man and a psychologist rolled into one, affirm that the right not to be owed must be earned !
And for this, as my friend says, “You have to fuck!”
And he's right. Judge for yourself, after all, an active man who knows what he wants and does it, would never even think of telling anyone that he owes anyone anything.
If people close to you say that you, as a man, owe something, it means that they are offended by you for something. Find out what the reason is and, if possible, grant your loved one’s request. Ask for forgiveness if you have offended your loved one in some way. Nothing will be lost from you. Don't deny, avoid, or get annoyed by the phrase "should" - this reveals childishness and immaturity in a man.
The right not to be owed must be earned! Through work, effort, doing what is prescribed by age and position, training, discipline of your body and spirit. And this is done primarily for oneself! Not without pleasure!
If you want to achieve super results in sports, you must, despite laziness, mood, weather, do one more approach, do one more push-up! If you want to achieve success in business, then this is also 99% of work, perseverance and effort. Sometimes unprecedented luck can smile on a person. But even for this to happen, you must do something. A rolling stone gathers no moss.
All men are born weak. Remember this, bunnies. The first 8 years of a boy's development determine whether he will cause suffering to other people in the future. But the next stage of his teenage and young adult life determines whether he will become a strong man. The transition from weak to strong always requires the ability to endure physical pain and consciously overcome your fears! Then life acquires new joy and pleasure!
Example: in the Masai tribe (East Africa), a young man does not receive ownership of the land, is not allowed to communicate with the sages of the tribe, is not initiated into warriors and does not have access to a woman until he undergoes the ritual of initiation into a man. In order for the tribe to recognize him as a man, he MUST kill the lion himself. Only after this does he deservedly receive all the privileges of a strong man. He proved that he has power! These Africans are normal guys. There is a lot to learn from them! Especially for modern civilized men, accustomed to decorative conditions.
Conclusion:
- We are talking about the fact that “a man should” is turned on by women who were offended by their fathers or men whom they loved and less often by the men themselves who inflicted this offense;
- The only one to whom a man owes something is himself. He must become strong. And being around the strong is good for everyone: wives, children, parents;
- A man must earn the right not to be in debt by working on himself: overcoming his fears, setting goals, disciplining his body, thoughts and soul. [/mks_pullquote]
PS In one of his interviews, the legendary card sharper in the USSR, Anatoly Barbacar , said: “In order to learn how to skillfully break the rules, you must first learn them and learn to follow them.”
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And what do modern girls expect from them?
Today, more and more couples are paying attention to the psychological component of their relationships. The ability to nail a shelf and fix a bathroom faucet, while still valuable skills, fades into the background. Women more often pay attention to attentive, understanding partners to whom they can trust their experiences and share their emotions.
But here’s the paradox: an emotionally mature man who demonstrates love and understanding must still remain a macho man who will “carry a mammoth into the house” and protect his woman. Simply put, guys are required to combine completely opposite qualities in their character. For many men, this causes problems that negatively affect the quality of sex, self-confidence, and the desire to reach new heights.
Attitude towards his wife
How should a man behave in a relationship with his wife? Marriage is the logical result of the relationship between a man and a woman. And when the husband sees in her not only an object of sexual pleasure, a person who is tasked with maintaining the house, everyday problems, raising children and solving all issues of improvement, the girl’s happiness is not in danger.
A wife is also a person who needs to be taken care of, supported, provided, and forgiven for her shortcomings. A man should allow his woman to be weak and capricious. However, you need to keep a line so that she does not perceive the man as a mattress.
A man can sometimes be strict, but every action must be done on the basis of love.
MMM
A decent guy or “man of my dreams” must match his decent woman. We discussed issues related to female perfection earlier in our articles.
You can read about how to look expensive and well-groomed or how to look stylish on a small budget. But what should a man who is worthy of your attention do? Let's take a closer look.
Etiquette rules for men related to clothing
- A tie worn with a short-sleeved shirt is a sign of bad taste
- The jacket should be two or more shades darker than the shirt. Some etiquette rules for men require a precise approach: the shirt collar should protrude half a centimeter from under the jacket collar, and the cuff from the sleeve should protrude 1.5-2 cm.
- Particular attention should be paid to the selection of shoes. Shoes should be in harmony with the suit in color and style.
- The length of the trousers is also given great importance. It should deviate from the floor line by 0.5-1 cm. In this case, one light crease falls on the toe of the shoe.
- The correct length of a tie is to the waist (in the case of classic-fit trousers) or to half of the belt buckle. A tie, tied according to all the rules, has a small depression in the middle.
- According to the rules of etiquette, men are prohibited from buttoning the bottom button of their jacket.
- The chest pocket is not a place for notes, chewing gum and other things. The only thing you can put there is a decorative scarf. This is appropriate for special occasions, weddings, for example.
- The rules of modern etiquette for men say that the color of the belt should be matched to the color and texture of your shoes, and the buckle should be strict.
- Expensive suits require respect. They cannot be worn continuously. After a day of wear, you should rest the suit on a hanger. Such treatment will help maintain a decent appearance for a long time. If your lifestyle involves wearing a suit every day, you should have at least four in your wardrobe: two for summer and two for winter.
- An accessory to the look in the form of a bag is acceptable if it is leather and neutral in color. An ideal addition to a classic suit would be a briefcase or folder.
- If you choose a double-breasted jacket, be sure to wear a tie underneath. Single-breasted is more democratic: it can be worn without a tie.
- In the classic version, the suit can only be dark.
- The tone of the tie should be darker than the shirt and lighter than the jacket.
- A bow tie can only appear in your wardrobe with a tuxedo or dark suit. It should only be worn at official events with an appropriate dress code.
- Not only the temperature and washing mode, but also storage depends on the material of the tie. Thus, a silk tie must be untied; a less valuable item can be removed over the head without untying it.
- The watch strap material in the classic version is only leather.
- The rules of etiquette for men also have requirements for wearing cufflinks: their color must match the color of the tie clip (if equipped) or the watch dial and belt buckle.
- Picking a knot in a tie is an art. When choosing, be sure to take into account the shape of the face: a massive knot will not suit a face with delicate features, and a narrow one will look comical on a wide and round face.
- The wallet should match the other leather pieces of the outfit, but it makes more sense to match it with the briefcase.
- A small life hack: by combining different ties even with one suit, you will get quite a few boring combinations.
