Psychology of relationships between men and women

The psychology of relationships between a man and a woman includes many aspects depending on the format of this relationship. This topic is widely discussed in books on the psychology of relationships between men and women by authors from different schools of thought. How to build a harmonious union and avoid mistakes that lead to painful separation, which provokes the so-called “frozen” or unfinished relationships, we will consider in more detail in our article.

Stages of relationships between a man and a woman in psychology

We all strive to build healthy relationships, what factors influence this is studied by the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman. To present a correct picture of the format of relationships, it is customary to distinguish stages of development of relationships, which differ in duration, quality of interaction and are accompanied by crises during the transition from one stage of development to another.

Stages of relationships between a man and a woman psychology:

Love

The most beautiful and romantic stage of a relationship between a man and a woman, which can last from six months to a year and a half. Main features of this stage:

idealization of a partner;
denial of the negative qualities of a loved one;
absence of encumbrances (everyday life, financial dependence, children);
state of euphoria;
frequent meetings, correspondence;
the desire to please a partner, to please him.

This stage of the relationship between a man and a woman in psychology is characterized by complete harmony.

Satiation

This stage is symbolized by the beginning of the perception of the partner in a real picture. The “rose-colored glasses” fall off, and your loved one appears in a completely different light, you begin to notice his shortcomings, mistakes, etc.

In some couples, at this stage, everyday problems are added, financial insolvency and other problems appear. Lovers spend less time together and return to their hobbies and activities. It is at these moments that the first conflicts begin, which can lead to separation.

Rejection

If the young people have overcome the second stage, now they find themselves at an even more difficult stage from the point of view of the possibility of maintaining the union. “Chemistry” stops, and it is the turn of the rational mind with a full assessment of the partner and everything that is happening. What hangs in the balance is mostly the partner’s shortcomings and the advantages that seem insignificant at that time, and the prospects for this relationship are weighed.

Characteristic symptoms of this stage of relationship development:

frequent scandals;
irritability towards a partner for any reason;
doubts about the sincerity of your partner’s feelings and about your own feelings;
attempts to find a new partner.

The main task at this stage is to try to accept your loved one as he is, with all his shortcomings and advantages. Only thanks to this there is an opportunity for further development of relations.

Patience

From this moment on, the couple experiences relative calm. Lovers are already trying to find compromises during disagreements, and conflicts do not occur so violently and not so sharply.

The most important thing is that at this stage the concept of the value of relationships is formed. If by this time the partners are already married, then an awareness of the value of family comes.

Service

Thanks to the fact that the couple has learned to accept each other’s shortcomings, their own selfishness begins to disappear. Relationships in a couple begin to be filled with harmony and mutual understanding. Once again we want to do something nice for each other, give gifts, spend time.

Quarrels pass painlessly, reproaches disappear, mutual concessions begin, which until that moment seemed completely impossible on both sides. Partners begin to give sincerely and unselfishly, and learn to accept with gratitude.

Respect

The couple has reached a stage where they can safely reap the fruits of their labor and enjoy what they have built together. The lovers respect each other's interests, and both understand that they once made the right choice.

Love

Years later, a real sincere feeling appears - love. And if falling in love is a game of hormones, now it is a deep feeling based on mutual respect and real acceptance of each other.

Distinctive features of this stage:

partners strive to spend more time together;
separation passes more calmly;
jealousy disappears, relationships are based on trust;
there is a desire to take care of a loved one;
during quarrels, both try to determine the cause of its occurrence, rather than blaming each other;
there is a desire to give to a loved one.

The psychology of the beginning of a relationship between a man and a woman is characterized by romance and euphoria, but unfortunately the candy-bouquet period quickly ends and one has to face the realities of the modern world, the partner’s shortcomings and existing problems.

Mistakes in relationships between men and women in psychology

The development of relationships between a man and a woman in psychology is characterized by an alternation of stages or stages of relationships in combination with corresponding crises. The positive outcome of each turning point depends on both partners, on their behavior and feelings towards each other.

Very often, the cause of a protracted crisis or, ultimately, separation is the mistakes that lovers make in a relationship. Knowledge and understanding of these fatal factors will help to avoid many quarrels and conflicts, improve mutual understanding, and preserve feelings.

Mistakes in relationships between men and women in psychology:

Partners begin to “play the wrong roles.” The girl behaves like a mother, and the guy, for example, behaves like a child. There are quite a lot of similar behavior models, and they all ultimately lead to failure. It is important to realize that each person is an individual, and he does not need mothers, sons, etc. In relationships there must be equality and mutual respect, care for each other, otherwise codependent relationships are formed.
Complete absorption in the life of a partner, without taking into account one’s own interests and needs. This behavior manifests itself to a greater extent in women. Excessive care and lack of personal life leads to the fact that the partner loses her Self and becomes uninteresting to her partner. As a result, the couple comes to a sad conclusion - separation.
Constant psychological pressure from one of the partners when making decisions, pushing to take action, etc. Relationships turn into a “tyrant and victim” model.
Mistrust of lovers, jealousy. Constant suspicions, checks, attempts to convict of treason, especially if they are in fact groundless, destroy the union.
Total control. It may be a consequence of the previous factor, or it may be due to the nature of the partners. But in both cases, such behavior will sooner or later lead to a protest from the controlled party and, as a consequence, to a break.
Lack of mutual support in difficult situations, absolute detachment from the partner’s life. Everyone lives on their own. What then are these relationships for?
Silencing problems, grievances, discontent. Both understand that something is happening, but both continue to remain silent and cast dissatisfied glances and reproaches. In most cases, such situations are far-fetched and just a conversation is enough to put everything in its place.
Attempts to adjust the partner to oneself. Each person is individual, you need to learn to accept him as he is. Only thanks to this is it possible to develop full-fledged harmonious relationships.
Inability to admit guilt and forgive. Apologies and repentance can smooth out most conflicts. But at the same time, the ability to forgive a loved one who has made a mistake is also an important factor in building and developing relationships.
Lack of attention and care. Gifts on holidays (and only if you remember). Rare kisses, hugs, joint events. Do you really need a reason to love?
Inability to resolve conflict situations, provocations that aggravate the situation and can lead to a breakup.

The listed errors occur in many pairs in one variation or another. Sometimes a simple lack of understanding that behavior is fundamentally wrong provokes problems in relationships and the breakup of a seemingly sincerely loving couple.

Confidence

Trust is the ability of partners to correctly speak openly about their feelings, experiences , admit to any mistakes and the ability to accept the mistakes of another, and much more.

Trusting relationships are no stranger to disagreements and conflicts, but at the same time, partners are not inclined to hide grievances, secrets, or omissions; they speak directly about their emotions, passing through a crisis moment with dignity.

Trust brings calm, balance, and casts all doubts aside towards the partner. But where doubt arises again, trust fades away .

Important! Without trust, it is impossible to build strong, harmonious relationships.

Psychology of relationships between a man and a woman after a breakup

An ideal relationship between a man and a woman is what every couple in love strives for. But in reality, this is not always possible and not everyone succeeds. As we have already discussed, at any stage of a relationship there is a threat of separation. And perhaps this is the most difficult thing that people who were once in a relationship will have to endure.

When a relationship breaks up, partners go through certain stages:

Denial - non-acceptance of what is happening, hope for the return of a loved one and restoration of relationships in the previous format. This is a kind of protective reaction of the psyche from emotional pain and suffering.
Aggression is the search for someone to blame for what happened, the realization that everything is over. Containing feelings most often results in aggression, not necessarily against a former lover; those who are currently nearby and provide support in a difficult situation can also fall under attack.
An attempt to return - when the negative emotions subside, the injured party begins to look for reasons and opportunities to restore the relationship, while being fully ready to sacrifice their principles, rules, and find compromises on issues that caused disagreements and conflicts.
Depression is the most severe stage, which can take the longest period of all. There is no longer any hope of renewing the relationship, and then sadness sets in. It seems that no one and nothing can fill the spiritual emptiness that has formed after the departure of a loved one. From this moment the revival begins.
Acceptance - the severity of the experience has already dulled, the person has found the strength to cope with depression and move on.

The time it takes for this crisis to pass is individual in each case, but on average it can last about a year. The most important thing is not to start the process of getting “stuck” at one of the stages, otherwise everything will drag on indefinitely.

Women are more susceptible to getting stuck, because separation may be accompanied by the emergence of problems of a social or financial nature. In addition, as you know, women are more emotional than men, so experiences are more common for them.

But this does not mean that men experience less suffering during separation. Natural endurance and masculinity hide real experiences, and the ways to overcome them are somewhat different (alcohol, constant change of partners, sports, work, fast driving, etc.). But in the end, it still won’t get easier until you go all the way to the stage of accepting the collapse of the union.

An important question that often arises among former partners after a breakup - how to forget someone who just recently occupied your entire world - allows us to consider the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman.

So how can you find the strength to live on?

Go through all the stages of separation in a timely manner, without allowing any of them to become “stuck.” The optimal time for each is 2-4 weeks.
Exclude your ex-partner from your life completely - do not look for meetings, do not explore social networks in search of changes in your personal life, do not meet with mutual friends, delete all reminders of your ex-lover.
Contact a psychologist, if necessary, to analyze and analyze the current situation and overcome the crisis.
Think about yourself, your hobbies, hobbies, or better yet, find a new activity that will distract you from the current situation. An excellent option is to go in for sports, here hormones and corresponding chemical reactions come into play.
Love yourself, do not engage in self-flagellation, blaming for the current problems. Both men and women who have been abandoned are prone to this - to feel guilty, to think that something is wrong with them.
Avoid communicating with people who drive you into depression with questions about your ex-partner and a desire to “help.”
Do not rush into new relationships, trying to drown out the pain from the old ones. Such a union will most likely quickly cease to exist, since an unlived and unresolved painful situation will not allow building a harmonious relationship. As a result, this will lead to low self-esteem and self-flagellation.

The psychology of relationships between a man and a woman considers the question of how to return a loved one after a breakup, but this is an illusion, do not fall into its network.

Better the bitter truth than the sweet lie4

Dissatisfaction in ideal relationships arises from flaws in our character. We may be overly selfish or want someone to solve all our problems for us.

We carry many character flaws with us from the past to the present as an emotional burden.

In this way we learn to make compromises, give up fantastic expectations and accept reality as it is.

Problems are our teachers who teach us to find any way out of situations.

It is worth remembering that the state of happiness is more important than anything else. We seek justice at any cost; our opponent must admit that he is wrong. This is not right, let him remain with his opinion, and you with yours. The main thing is that you are together and this is happiness for both. And opinions can change at any moment.

We need to talk to each other more, only in this way can we find out the cause of the conflict, come to a common opinion and agreement.

You need to develop a calm manner of speaking so that you are heard and raise your voice only at a critical moment.

Ask questions correctly, getting to the core of the problem, have your own point of view and defend your desires, beliefs, values and self-restraints.

Psychology of relationships between a man and a woman in marriage

Prosperous and harmonious development of relationships implies, as a happy outcome, the creation of a family. But the work shouldn't end there. Family is also hard work, it is a manifestation of care for family members, more responsibility and obligations.

The psychology of relationships between a man and a woman in marriage has a number of its own nuances, which can be read about in different sources, from different psychologists and sociologists. But nevertheless, let us highlight the general parameters in the works of scientists in the psychology of family and family relationships.

Psychology considers harmonious relationships between a man and a woman in marriage, based on love and sexual attraction to a loved one. But unfortunately, this is not enough for the union to last happily ever after. Other factors must also be observed:

understanding;
mutual respect;
confidence;
compliance with obligations;
financial stability;
well-established life;
joint recreation;
and etc.

You need to learn to live in marriage, and the more successful the training, the longer and happier your union will be. Take into account the fact that a man and a woman in a family cannot perform the same functions, and mutual assistance and support are possible, but still a man is more responsible for providing for the family, solving incoming questions and problems, and a woman is responsible for raising children, the home, emotional state of family members.

In family psychology, relationships between husband and wife can be built in the format of one of the following models:

Cooperation is an alliance based on mutual understanding and support.
Parity is the equality of spouses with the pursuit of a certain benefit.
Competition is a constant desire to get ahead of your partner in everything.
Competition is a struggle of interests between spouses combined with attempts to dominate.
Antagonism is rivalry between spouses turning into confrontation, the desire to get what is what is desired at any cost.

The psychology of love relationships between a man and a woman develops positively with cooperation. All other models have negative factors that can ultimately lead to divorce.

Open relationship between a man and a woman

An open relationship between a man and a woman in psychology is a model of behavior of the parties in which they are happy to spend time together, but without responsibility and obligations in relation to each other. This model can be used not only by a man and a woman meeting for the sake of a love relationship, it also takes place in the family.

Is this a correct relationship between a man and a woman from a psychological point of view? After all, with this format of relationship, lovers have the right to do whatever they want without taking into account each other’s opinions, including communicating with other partners. The best option is to establish certain conditions of “permissiveness” in order to avoid conflicts in the couple. This is especially true when it comes to permission or prohibition on sexual relations with other partners, because this aspect is most often the stumbling block. Open relationships and betrayal are not synonymous words.

For couples living together, it is also important to discuss the financial issue, for example, to establish the size of each person’s monetary contribution to the general budget. Discuss the distribution of responsibilities and living conditions.

But to understand whether this model of behavior is applicable in your couple, let’s consider the pros and cons of such relationships.

Pros:

relative freedom of action;
absence of onerous obligations;
lack of jealousy;
relationships are based on friendship and spiritual intimacy;
the percentage of breakups is lower than in couples with traditional relationships.

Minuses:

pressure of public opinion - society has a negative attitude towards such relationships;
a manifestation of jealousy is possible if one of the spouses does not want to enter into a relationship with the other partner, but is forced to put up with the behavior of his other half;
possible consequences of casual sexual intercourse (infectious diseases, unwanted pregnancy).

As a result, if an open relationship is not based on the spiritual closeness of the partners, then over time they will move away from each other, and the need for this particular relationship will disappear.

What is psychological comfort?

A person is essentially an egoist and first of all takes care of himself. Subconsciously, everyone is afraid of being used, so they pull the blanket over themselves. And only after understanding and realizing that love is, first of all, giving, a person begins to experience comfort and satisfaction from communicating with his soulmate.

Friendship between a man and a woman, psychology of relationships

What is friendship between a man and a woman from the point of view of relationship psychology? A friendly relationship implies a format of friendly relationships based on trust, affection, in the absence of sexual attraction to each other. But is a friendly relationship between a man and a woman possible?

On the one hand, this format of relationship is indeed possible, affection between a guy and a girl, trust exists, otherwise creating a family would be impossible in principle. But the perception of this format of relationships is different between men and women. Even without intimacy, a woman can be emotionally attached to her partner as a husband. But a man, in turn, is able to feel an equally strong connection with several women. As a result, once a friendship begins, over time, it can develop into love.

Why is a man friends with a woman if it is much easier to find a friend of the same sex? Most often, such relationships allow you to better understand a representative of the opposite gender, it is possible to transfer this understanding to your love relationships, sometimes ask a friend’s point of view to resolve some problematic situation, just from the point of view of a man (woman).

What other reasons can push for the development of friendly relations between a guy and a girl? Having needs that cannot be satisfied by friends of the same sex. For example, a man needs care, empathy, support, and he can only find this in female company. And when a girl communicates with a guy, she receives the support of a strong man who can protect.

Thus, a relationship between a man and a woman can be considered friendship until it develops into love.

Useful video

From this video you will learn more about relationships between people:

It is important for all people to have trusting and comfortable relationships. They can only be built on mutual affection and respect. Moreover, any relationship requires effort on the part of each participant .

But how nice it is to receive feedback and reciprocity from another person, and it doesn’t matter who he is, a friend, lover, relative or colleague. If you want to build a strong relationship, try to get to know not only the other person, but also yourself as much as possible.

Psychology of relationships between a man and a woman at a distance

A long-distance relationship is a choice between two people. Whether to agree to them or break them depends on several conditions:

how long have these relationships lasted and their prospects;
duration of separation;
current relationship status (marriage, have children, open relationship, etc.).

If this is a serious relationship, or the partners are married and have children, then a long-distance relationship is possible. And if the union is just beginning to develop and there are no feelings yet, then a long separation can lead to its disintegration. Before you decide whether to stay in a long-distance relationship or end it, read about the pros and cons of such a relationship.

Pros of long distance relationships:

There is an opportunity to be alone. But don’t be afraid of this, sometimes you need time to be alone with yourself and think about what’s happening. Perhaps the time has come to understand yourself, remember your desires and realize them.
There is a chance to check the reliability of a man’s word. If he promised to be faithful, will he keep it or not?
In separation, an understanding comes: is this the person you want to be with?
Not having a partner around for a while brings many couples closer together. Lovers begin to appreciate each other more, devote more time, and show care.

That is, overcoming such an obstacle as separation, you can strengthen and improve relationships, understand their value, and be convinced of stability and durability. But the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman does not exclude weakness.

Cons of long distance relationships:

Lack of care and due attention. In some cases, forced separation limits communication opportunities.
Mistrust and jealousy. Such relationships between a man and a woman are classified as sick in psychology. The result of such behavior will most likely be the collapse of the union.
Attempts to establish total control due to mistrust and jealousy. Frequent calls, messages, and the involvement of loved ones for surveillance are used. Of course this won't lead to anything good.
There is a high probability that new emotions, new acquaintances will “help” forget the past. The old life is replaced by a new one, and the old feelings are replaced by new ones.

As a result of the influence of negative factors, alienation arises between lovers and the relationship gradually fades away.

Whether a couple can survive a long-distance relationship depends on their personality type. The first type is self-sufficient individuals who are able to keep their word and occupy themselves during separation, and are emotionally stable. The second type is anxious, these are people who require support and constant attention, so they are not able to be alone for a long time. It is precisely the second type that begins to look for backup options on the side, allowing betrayal.

Use the advice of psychologists to save long-distance relationships:

Communicate more often, call, write, answer calls from your loved one.
Send your photos.
Don't be jealous and don't give reasons for jealousy.
Always support your partner, in any situation.
In your free time, try to find an interesting activity that captivates and captivates you.
Share both your achievements and problems with your partner.

If you approach the organization of separation correctly, then this period will not turn into a painful relationship between a man and a woman from a psychological point of view. But in any case, only you can decide whether to continue the relationship at a distance, or whether it is doomed and you should not try to bind each other with unfulfillable obligations.

Modern relationships between a man and a woman are considered in psychology in different aspects. There are many variations in relationship formats, nuances on how to preserve feelings and warnings on how not to provoke a breakup. Keep in mind that an unfinished relationship between a man and a woman just kills time, and a long-distance union can help to form a deep feeling and create a family.