The issue of marital fidelity remains relevant to this day. As long as humanity exists, betrayals and betrayals will continue. Adultery: what is it in relations between the sexes? This word denotes not only adultery, but also extramarital relations between a man and a woman.
Modern youth are skeptical about formalized relationships, preferring freedom of morals and life attitudes. Whether this is right or not, time will tell. In the meantime, girls are choosing adultery instead of marriage. This is what my niece did, who gave birth to a child outside of marriage and broke off relations with the baby’s father. But she has no sadness about this.
Adultery: the psychology of infidelity
There is a widespread double standard in society that male nature is impossible without polygamy.
Male adultery is treated much more tolerantly, while female adultery in ancient times was equated with crimes and could lead to serious penalties. Even repeated male infidelities do not cancel his sincere desire to save his family.
Of course, women cheat too. But the statistics are disappointing - for every female betrayal, there are two male ones. One of the reasons for infidelity lies in youthful complexes regarding their sexual viability. Thus, a large number of partners increases male self-esteem.
Freudian theory explains female infidelity by subconscious envy of the male genital organ and the desire to possess it, at least by having sex with men.
Modern psychologists argue that a woman, unlike a man, does not draw the line between physical and emotional intimacy, and also separates old relationships from new ones.
However, it is unlikely that in such a subtle science as sexology there are universal reasons and clichés. Rather, this is another attempt to find excuses for male infidelity.
In early childhood, the boy understands that his mother “belongs” to his father. He feels abandoned and abandoned, and this is what psychology calls the first betrayal that we feel.
In many ways, a man’s behavior in marriage depends on his childhood relationship with his mother. The fact of turning a child against his father and using him in parental quarrels gives the boy the feeling that mother’s love is not selfless and, therefore, complexes on this basis.
In adulthood, such an unhappy boy is constantly forced to look for love and prove to himself his exclusivity. This is complicated by the fact that in marriage, for various reasons, a person may feel a lack of affection and suffer from a lack of physical intimacy. Hence the stereotype that a man begins to cheat when children appear in a marriage.
Assessment across countries and cultures
Attitudes towards adultery differ in different countries and cultures.
- Previously, in France, adultery could become a serious reason for divorce. Today, every second Frenchman treats this condescendingly and is ready to forgive his other half for love affairs on the side. In addition, a number of French residents believe that adultery adds a touch of spice to relationships.
- In Italy, cases of adultery have increased sharply. Men prefer to indulge in pleasures more often than women.
In Muslim countries, the attitude towards treason is completely different; adultery is regarded as a crime. No excuse for this works. The penalties for adultery are very strict. For example, in Iran, the death penalty is practiced for adultery.
It is generally accepted that adultery is commonplace in the United States. This opinion is formed due to the abundance of sex scenes in cinema and American literature. Of course, adultery does happen among Americans. But you can earn the title of family traitor and cheater not only for having sex on the side. A kiss or too frank communication in chats or social networks is considered treason.
Most supporters of adultery can be found in Latin America.
Christianity condemns adultery and supports the institution of marriage and elevates the family. The Bible teaches you to treat people the way you want to be treated.
What do you know about attitudes towards adultery in different countries and cultures? Be sure to share your knowledge in the comments, we will expand our horizons.
Adultery - reasons, prerequisites
Women, for the most part, are unable to accept the idea that they may not be the one and only that their husbands desire.
Of course, from a moral point of view, adultery is an unacceptable and disgusting phenomenon
, especially if the subject does not hesitate to bring his favorite (or mistress - whichever is better) to the family home and put him in the bed that he now shares with his wife.
You can understand a man who threw away the wreckage of his love boat and dived into a pool of new sensations. You can also understand a woman who feels like a Little Mermaid whose tongue and legs were taken away: it’s a shame to share with someone, and it’s impossible to resist.
However, there are cases when infidelity fuels and strengthens marital relationships. Paradoxical, isn't it? But the point is that only a single case of adultery can save a marriage, but not a repeated one.
It is wonderful and surprising if for many years a woman, in addition to supporting a man in everything, skillfully embodies one or another male fantasy in bed. It is unlikely that her husband is capable of exchanging such a treasure for a complete stranger. But, alas, such women are very rare.
Basically, our compatriots are accustomed to thinking like owners, inappropriately and inappropriately brandishing the phrase of the great A. Exupery “We are responsible for those we have tamed.” Do you understand? Pri-ru-chi-li. What kind of passion can we talk about?!
The touch to the portrait is routine, in which both get bogged down. And then the first alarm bell sounds: the man finds joy and consolation - moral and physical - on the side. However, this can be a salvation for a marriage that is bursting at all the seams.
Being a hunter and conqueror by nature, he must constantly prove this. Awareness of masculinity is primarily important for him, because self-esteem and motivation for many actions, for example, self-improvement, depend on it.
Our position
We support family, mutual respect and trust. We consider adultery unacceptable.
Of course, there may be problems in family and relationships that push you to look for relief and support on the outside. But you need to understand that these problems were formed for a reason, and both partners took part in their creation.
You need to talk as a family, share your experiences. Talk openly about problems and think together about how to solve them. Sometimes you may need the help of a psychologist, sexologist or other specialists.
There is an article on the site about humanity. There we examine in detail what distinguishes a person from an animal. Adultery is just about the animal part of a person and instincts. And loyalty, respect and family are about humanity and intelligence.
Is adultery a fleeting affair?
Having found an opportunity to assert himself and satisfy his primary need, a man feels a surge of vital energy, relaxation and calm.
Having received what he wanted, he simultaneously realizes that his own wife is waiting for him at home, to whom he is now able to give amazing emotions not only in terms of sex, but in general. The man understands that fleeting passion only fueled his feelings for his wife. How will she behave in bed? He will want to experiment with the body he has long studied and find previously unseen aspects of pleasure. Single sex on the side opens up a colorful range of new sensations that you will definitely want to experience again, but this time with your wife.
Consequences of betrayal
Adultery can cause far more problems than benefits:
- Constant pangs of conscience.
- The complexities of a double life, the fear that the deception will be revealed. You'll have to be constantly on your guard.
- The fear of exposure brings constant stress into life, which can negatively affect your well-being.
- If the deception is revealed, then divorce is possible. Because of this, the usual way of life will be disrupted.
- The risk of losing everything that has been created over years or even decades.
- Children may not want to communicate or maintain a warm relationship with a parent who has been caught cheating.
- In some cases, serious public reprimand is possible.
- There is a possibility of contracting sexually transmitted diseases.
How do you evaluate fleeting intrigues? Is this pleasure worth true family happiness?
Is it worth confessing?
Let's be honest
: an affair on the side should not become known to the wife, just as the manifestation of compromising behavior should not be noticed by her. It’s as if the man is re-studying his wife’s mood, noticing moments of despondency and joy and trying to support her.
He suddenly wants to give her gifts, remember good moments together, and bring some to life. In return, he is guaranteed the care and affection of his wife, which once faded into the background. A short-term affair becomes a catalyst for a good mood for both partners.
Feeling her husband’s sudden interest in herself, the woman begins to transform. She wants to match the attention and love that her husband bestows after a long break, and she reciprocates.
Feeling a surge of vitality, being motivated for new achievements, a woman wants to be the most charming and attractive to her husband, and she begins to take care of herself: buys beautiful lingerie, takes care of her figure and appearance in general. A new round of the candy-bouquet period begins in the life of the spouses, which, with the efforts of both, can last a very long time.
Even if after some time a woman understands what determined her husband’s increased attention, she can easily overcome the feeling of deception. Why make a scandal about what happened in their “past dull life” if everything is great with them now?
A man, having gained some experience in a new aspect of interpersonal relationships, will be able to analyze the reasons that pushed him into adultery, and in the future will make every effort to ensure that this never happens again.
Judaism4
In the Old Testament, adultery is strictly defined and implies the following punishment for adultery - the death penalty. True, in practice, the Jews applied such a measure of punishment quite caustically, since there was no compelling evidence of the fact of treason. Of course, with such a strict law, all trips to the left were hidden more than carefully.
Relationship with a married woman is prohibited by both the Torah and the law of the Jewish people, Halacha. According to them, a man does not have the right to have sexual relations with a woman who, by law, is not his wife. Likewise, he does not have the right to continue to live in marriage with a wife who cheated on him with another man. There is only one way out here, divorce.
In Judaism there is such a thing as the set of Seven Laws of the descendants of Noah. According to it, all humanity is prohibited from having sexual relations with other people's wives (husbands).
How to understand that they are cheating on you
A person who cheats reveals himself as follows:
- refusal to wear a wedding ring;
- irritability, constant dissatisfaction with the partner;
- deceit;
- stays late at work, talks about overtime hours and additional shifts due to production needs;
- inattention towards a spouse;
- rare sex, refusal of intimacy for various fictitious reasons;
- new sexual preferences;
- changes in food preferences;
- gifts for no reason (this is how the cheater tries to make amends);
- the desire to look good, which was not there before;
- buying new things for personal use;
- a person does not let go of his mobile phone;
- he sets complex passwords on his smartphone, fearing that his correspondence on social networks will be read;
- he regularly cleans the history of correspondence on social networks, SMS and call lists;
- when someone calls him, he leaves the room or answers in monosyllables;
- refusal to spend weekends with family;
- making new friends;
- new aromas emanating from a person’s clothing.
Thus, you can guess about betrayal if you analyze in detail the behavior of your other half.
Husband exposed his wife
