Friendship between a man and a woman, what psychology says about this and whether it exists - are friendly relations possible and why is a guy friends with his ex-girlfriend?

Whether there are sincere friendly relationships between a guy and a girl is a question that has worried both sides for many decades. During this time, people's opinions were divided into two halves: some claim that everything is possible, others insist that this is just a cover for some personal sympathies, love. In this article I will talk about friendship between a man and a woman and explain what the psychology of relationships says about this.

What is friendship

This is the name given to especially close friendly relationships between two or more people if they are based on trust, affection for each other, and common interests. It takes quite a long time for such a deep connection to arise, but sometimes at a certain moment, loyalty and mutual assistance develop into strong love and affection, and here we are not talking about sexual attraction, but rather about family attraction. The main features of such relationships can be called:

Selflessness - we do not demand mutual benefit.
Endless affection.
Stability and durability - the strongest friendships are those that arose during school years.
Lack of any sexual desires.

For the emergence of friendships, gender, age and other social differences are not important. In reality, things are somewhat more complicated. Gender characteristics are extremely important and it is much easier to establish contact, learn to trust and become attached to a person if he is of the same gender as you.

Is friendship possible between a man and a woman?

Even based on what is written above, people's positions may be divided. On the one hand, it is really easier for us to get acquainted and then find common interests with a representative of the same sex. On the other hand, trust between guys and girls, as well as affection and common interests, certainly exist, otherwise we could not build families. So, who is right?

Based on this, we can conclude that friendly relationships between boys and girls always walk on the edge of a knife. Yes, there really may not be an intimate relationship between them, but the beautiful half of humanity is structured in such a way that if it begins to trust a man, it means that it does so completely. She becomes emotionally attached to him no less than to her own husband.

Representatives of the stronger half, in turn, are structured in such a way that some polygamy is not alien to them. This means they can feel an equally strong connection with several girls.

Friendship between a man and a woman: what is it in psychology

As for official science, its position is not so categorical and rather agrees with the psychological fact that if there is no sexual connotation in a friendly relationship, then a guy and a girl can be friends without experiencing any special attraction. But it is recommended to use this opportunity only as a last resort, so as not to harm your real love relationships. After all, this will become an outright provocation of jealousy, aggressiveness and rupture.

There is also the possibility that something that started out as an ordinary friendship will eventually develop into classic love. This is facilitated by the affection, care, and devotion that accompany friendly relationships. The values of the partners, their upbringing, joint history and, of course, the presence of other sexual relationships will also play a big role here.

Psychologist Daria Milai

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Why is a man friends with a woman?

Why do we find such difficult relationships when it is much easier to communicate with members of the same sex without risking ruining the love relationship? The reasons may be different, but most often this communication makes it possible to find such personal qualities and relationships that are not characteristic of representatives of their gender. Women know how to especially care for their friends and empathize with them, while guys prefer not to show tender feelings in public. And if a representative of the stronger sex wants to receive support, he should look for it in female company.

In turn, men know how to show strength, stand up for each other and their loved ones. If representatives of the fairer sex want to receive “brotherly” support, they turn to their guy friends. But love relationships always play an important role. If they exist, then in most cases they are the ones who provide the necessary feelings and emotions. Children's friendship should be highlighted in a separate line. It is more like a typical relationship between members of the same gender or a bond between a brother and sister.

Advantages and disadvantages

So, if you are thinking about friendship with a member of the opposite sex, take your time. Think about the advantages and disadvantages of such a relationship. The first include:

Honesty. Men rarely flatter. They are usually straightforward and honest.
Lack of envy. Girlfriends envy the success of a girl or woman much more often than male friends. They will not compete to purchase branded clothing or fight for the attention of some handsome guy.
True opinion. You can ask a friend of the opposite sex for advice regarding your relationship with your partner.

What can you say about the disadvantages? Firstly, there is always a risk of rapprochement. There is a high probability that one of your friends will sooner or later develop sexual attraction or romantic feelings. After this, it will no longer be possible to communicate normally. There are two options for the development of events. You can either continue to hide your feelings, or open up but lose your friend.

Secondly, friendships can break down for various reasons, and losing a close friend is always very difficult.

Women's opinion

Natural girlish softness does not allow us to express such an unambiguous and negative explanation. So, for the most part, girls are sure that such friendly relationships are real. The fact is that representatives of the fairer sex pay less attention to their sexual desires and know how to suppress them if they should do something more important. We pay attention to a guy if he is pleasant on an emotional level, and not seductive as a potential lover.

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If a friend follows the established rules and never crosses the line, and also if the husband is not against such communication, a woman will happily carry her friendship with a guy through many years and with age she will only become stronger.

How to stop creating false expectations?

Now let's talk about how to make sure that the woman you like, to whom you cannot reciprocate, stops being deceived by you. Briefly - no way :))) Imagine that you communicate at work, or you have intimate dates once a week, or some other reason for communication. Maybe you love someone else, or maybe you have no time for love at all and you are a lone wolf in search of achievements in the business field and, perhaps, in search of fleeting adventures with women. Doesn't matter.

I REPEAT: IF FOR SOME REASONS YOU ARE COMMUNICATING WITH A GIRL YOU LIKE, SHE WILL HIGHLY LIKELY WILL PERCEIVE THE VERY FACT OF YOUR COMMUNICATION AS SOME RECIPROCITY ON YOUR PART.

And this will happen, despite any of your agreements and assurances on your part that you perceive her exclusively as a “friend” or business partner.

Feminine energy always affects a man

So, let’s say you have a designer/PR person/accountant/etc. in your business. a female person with whom you constantly interact at work. And let’s say she seriously likes you. Bro, consider yourself successful. You either ended up with regular brainwashing on her part, or with the final label of “asshole” as a result of a breakup due to the fact that you got tired of exposing your brain to brainwashing. Or maybe not, maybe the girl will quietly worry and burn away all her negativity about your situation. And formally you may not know about it at all.

But she will experience emotions and generate a certain energy towards you personally and into space in general. If you have questions about the energy of emotions and Human Energy in general, read a couple of my articles on this topic: “What is Human Energy? Part. 1 Biofield. Aura" and "What is Human Energy? Part 2. Superpowers." From the second article, by the way, you will also better understand why women easily read information from a man on an intuitive level, which I will write about below. So, regardless of whether a woman starts a showdown with you, says anything at all, or remains silent and quietly “radiates energy” - this will not do you any good.

Claims are usually inevitable

Why? Because a loving woman (like a man) always hopes for a miracle, for the appearance of reciprocity on the part of a man, for “tolerate and fall in love . And he has every right to do so, in fact. But, unfortunately, not every woman can gratefully accept simply communication as a gift, without giving away her expectations, without forcing events and without making complaints because you did not meet her expectations . Although ideally it should be this way . And most often in life, a woman feels complaints against a man and sooner or later begins to voice them or simply “radiate” them energetically.

Something like: “How so?! We’ve been talking for two months now, and you’ve never invited me to the movies?!” or “why have you been looking at her like that all evening?!” Damn, dear, actually, why the hell are you worried about who and how I look at? And you answer something like: “Svetlana, well, we discussed everything and found out. I am grateful to you for your warm attitude towards me, but I cannot reciprocate. We are just colleagues. Why are we returning to this topic again?” You can hear a lot of things in response, including “Yes, yes, I remember everything, I understand everything. Forgive me, something carried me away...” And you continue to cooperate and communicate with her, since cooperation is productive, and communication is purely humanly pleasant, for you she is purely a guy in a skirt, and you hope that this will not happen again on her part will happen again. But... as the relationship expert Satya Das, who I already mentioned above, says: if “sorry” from a man’s mouth means “this won’t happen again,” then “sorry” from a woman ONLY conveys “I’m sorry that I hurt you, but I can’t promise I won't do it again." And this situation is very likely to repeat itself.

Here is an episode from the film “The Woman of His Dreams”, the main character performed by Konstantin Solovyov speaks about this:

Being a lover is still deceiving a woman's expectations

Perhaps the question arises in your mind: why in this situation does not a man make this woman his mistress? Especially if he is free... You can make her your mistress, but this will not solve the problem - you will still deceive her. It still won't be enough for her. Any normal and loving woman will be satisfied only in one case: you are married to her, you live in a separate house with a bunch of children, and she is your only woman . Actually, this is how it should be, I think, but only in the case of mutual love. Until this happens, the woman will subconsciously expect this from you. And in most cases, they are not able to cope with their expectations and somehow express their dissatisfaction.

THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP CHEATING A WOMAN - STOP COMMUNICATING WITH HER

No communication - no false promises. And even simple communication, unfortunately, is perceived by many women as reciprocity. I'm not even talking about love relationships or living together...

Survey of men and women: comparison and analysis of results

According to studies, over time, the opinion about the possibility of friendly relationships between representatives of different genders changes dramatically.

If in their youth and youth the vast majority of guys (almost 70% of all respondents) believe that such friendship is real, then by the age of 35 their confidence drops to 64%, and then even lower. This means that more experienced men have time to make sure that they cannot be friends with representatives of the fair half.

Girls, on the contrary, over the years only become convinced that this is possible. Among young people, almost 70% of all respondents share this opinion, and among more mature women - almost 80%. How is this possible? Most likely, this happens because over time their childhood friends find their other halves, which means they experience less and less sexual attraction to their friend. Having settled down, they become really good friends or stop communicating altogether.

Is there friendship between a man and a woman: in what cases is it possible?

Situations exist when a guy and a girl can really be friends, without any sexual overtones in the relationship. These include:

Student Connection. United by a common goal, and often by the same place of residence, young girls and boys easily gather in groups and even later continue to communicate in the same groups.
Friendship with colleagues. We spend most of our lives with co-workers; we see them more often and longer than our own husbands and wives. Naturally, it is quite possible to make friends during this time.
Bonded by common hobbies. Whether it's playing in an orchestra, dancing at night, or taking photographs, when two people have something to talk about, they are more likely to connect.
Family ties. We are talking about brothers and sisters here. In childhood, they find little in common and therefore do not become friends too often, but over the years the situation changes and the loved one becomes truly close.
Family friendship. This is a separate type of connection, more complex, but pleasant.

In any case, the key role will be played by the personal qualities of the two partners, their values and desires.

Maybe it's just a disguised attraction

Yes, this option is certainly possible. But you shouldn’t spoil relationships because of simple speculation, when you can find out exactly what lies behind friendly conversations. Clear signs of sexual desire may include:

Excessive attention and the need to always be together.
Frequent gifts.
The desire to spend time only alone, and not in common companies.
Too frequent tactile contacts.
Jealousy of your friends and partners.

In fact, it is not difficult to understand what feelings your friend has for you. It’s just that some of us don’t want to notice the obvious and lose a loved one.

Girlfriend Trap: 7 Signs You're Caught

The friend zone trap is a phenomenon as old as time.
And although many romantic relationships begin with “strong friendship,” it is often the case that the feelings are not mutual. It is a common belief that only men hang out in the friend zone. But no! There is also a territory here for women who are forced to experience the pain and torture of being “just a friend” for someone who is dear to their hearts.

If a man treats you wonderfully, but has not yet called you a sister or girlfriend during difficult times, you may be confused whether this is friendship or something more. Before drawing conclusions, try to evaluate yourself based on the following signs and find out whether the friend zone trap has slammed shut behind your back.

He is extremely frank with you. Without a shadow of embarrassment, he tells you about those things that he would be embarrassed to mention in a conversation with his beloved. He doesn’t choose his words, isn’t shy about “hunting stories,” and doesn’t hide his demons in the closet. He feels at ease with you as with a friend. If he were interested in a relationship, there would be confused glances, awkward pauses and mega-correct topics in your communication.
He often invites you not to a one-on-one meeting, but to a company of friends. If you are a frequent visitor to his circle of friends, or he happily goes shopping with you, to a cafe, or goes out on weekends with company, your rose-colored glasses may distort reality. Especially if this is the only time you spend together. A man in love wants to be alone with a woman and enjoy this communication away from prying eyes.
He discusses other women with you. Can you name all his former and current people by name and probably know them by sight? No, he's not trying to make you jealous. He just feels very comfortable that he can share things like that with you just like he can with his friends. Besides, who will give the best advice and recommendation on how to behave with a woman, if not the woman herself! Convenient, right?
Your communication is asexual. Neither goosebumps nor a hint of embarrassment appears on his part during accidental physical contact with you. Sometimes it seems to you that he even avoids it. And if he makes any attempts to touch you, then it is something friendly, humorous like a “high five” or rude pats on the shoulder.
He makes you wait. You write to him, and there is no response or greeting from him for hours or even days. Don’t even try to defend the silent person and say that “he’s just busy.” When a man is too busy to respond to your message, it means he simply isn't willing to give you the time you deserve.
He calls you friend. And it clearly emphasizes this. Men are more straightforward than us women. They don't bother beating around the bush. And if you heard from him that you are just a friend, most likely it is so.
He has a woman. Remember the moment when you were in love: other men pale in comparison to that one. It doesn't matter how sweet and tender he treats you. Most likely, you also stand invisibly in the shadow of the lady of his heart.

Why is it dangerous?

The consequences of a friendly relationship will be sad for both parties. Broken hearts, conflict, and most importantly, the cessation of communication with the closest person.

Ask a question

It is simply impossible to build a trusting relationship when one of the partners hides something, and the other allows him to do it. After all, it has already been said that friendship is the absolute affection and devotion of two people.

If you notice problems, talk about them directly. Only in this case can you get by with “little bloodshed,” although no one can guarantee whether it will be possible to maintain the same connection.

Whose friendship is stronger

I don't believe that the strength of friendship depends on gender. The strength of relationships depends on the characteristics of their participants and the ability to be friends. Every person needs a like-minded person, an understanding loved one, an ally. And sometimes interests, hobbies, personal experience, vision of the world bring together seemingly completely different people. It could be two women, two men, or a man and a woman. The ability to listen and hear, support, empathize, keep your word, show nobility, be faithful and devoted, share bitterness and joy does not depend on gender.

The strongest friendship is the one in which both participants invest maximum energy and strength. Stronger are those relationships in which there is unity of mind and souls, interests, hobbies, desires, beliefs. The greater the similarity, the greater the sympathy and the stronger the friendship.

What not to do

First of all, you should not give a person hope of moving from friendship to something more if you are not ready for this even in the long term. State your attitude directly, even if you are afraid that your partner will leave after this. This is his right and it will allow you to maintain respect for each other. Do not demonstrate your sexual attractiveness, do not flirt or make advances.

Leave all this for other men who can assess the situation correctly. Try to be alone as little as possible. Better communicate in a group. And definitely don’t spend the night together or live in the same apartment. And if you find yourself too close, don’t talk about your intimate life. This will only bring pain and disappointment.

How not to ruin a long-term friendship?

Don't provoke . Some women like to test their charms on friends: flirting, advances, coquetry, seductive gestures... A man’s eyes light up and he perceives the provocation as a call to action.

If you really value friendship, find another object to experiment with.

Know the limits . This is especially true for revelations about personal life and intimate preferences. You can try on underwear with your girlfriend or discuss lovers - she understands everything correctly.

Men, on the other hand, cannot escape their physiology: it will be difficult for them to get rid of the memories of how “just a friend” paraded in a sexy set that did not hide anything, because “she needs an outside opinion.”

And it’s simply inconvenient to discuss positions from the Kama Sutra or fantasies with a person who is not your sexual partner.

If you don't want to ruin your friendship, be careful. This is balancing on the edge of an abyss: one wrong word or move - and a fall is inevitable. And nothing can be returned back!

Alarm bells that should alert you:

excessive attention from a friend;
gifts for no reason (courtship);
your friend avoids companies and tries to spend more time alone with you;
an interest in your hobbies and interests has appeared, although previously he only frowned when he heard the word “fitness” or “IT courses”;
he strives to maintain tactile contact;
Unmotivated irritation appears if you talk about other men.

What's happened? Yes, love just replaces friendship. And what to do with it is up to you

What about family friendships?

This is one of the few real options for building friendly relationships between a man and a woman. The fact is that this situation practically eliminates jealousy, because wives and husbands only get together. But achieving this is not very easy.

First, you need to convince your crush that that same school friend or that distant friend is of no interest other than friendly, and in general it’s worth getting to know them before drawing conclusions. If a person’s personal qualities and common hobbies help, it will become possible to be friends with families. But there will not be absolute spiritual closeness between two friends, and you should be prepared for this.

Male friend? Or love on the mountain. Will a man communicate just like that?

Hello dear ladies. I will be glad to see you on my Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rkirranov/

This article is a continuation of the article “How to understand that he likes you,” so I recommend reading it first, otherwise not everything may be clear.

Let us repeat once again the life rule that I cited in the previous article: a woman can be friends with a man, a man simply never “befriends” a woman . In other words, if you have a question about whether a man will communicate just like that, then a man-friend for a woman is something that does not happen in the world, and if it does happen, then it is such a rarity, like the “Bigfoot” that everyone is talking about heard, but no one saw it themselves.

But what to do if the “friendship” drags on? What to do if a male friend has been “friends” with a woman for many months or even years and does not make any attempts to transform the relationship into a deeper one? (Naturally, if the woman wants it). Read about what other mistakes a woman makes when communicating with a man in the books “23 Mistakes with Men” and “19 Mistakes with Men .

A little story at the beginning.

An old Indian is talking to a young man. They are sitting on the shore of a beautiful lake. A young Indian asks: “Have you loved anyone very much”? The old Indian naturally waited a while and took a few puffs on his pipe before answering. (This is how old Indians are supposed to behave, not brats. You need to pretend that you are thinking, even if you know the answer in advance).

So, the old Indian, taking several puffs on his pipe, began to say:

“Once upon a time, when I was 16 springs, I often came to the shore of this lake. And then one day on the hill that you see in front of us, I saw a beautiful girl. She stood in that place, looking at the lake and the sun. At this time, the wind blew her long beautiful hair. And the sun was shining, and her young body was visible through the dress.

I fell madly in love with this girl. I thought and dreamed about her all the time. I began to come to the shore of this lake more often, and the girl also came several times, and I looked at her. It was the strongest and only love in my life.

Having told his story, the Indian fell silent, pulled a mask of indifference over his face, as befits an old Indian, and continued smoking his pipe.

The young Indian, as befits a young Indian, listened to this story without interruption. When the old Indian fell silent, he sat patiently without asking. But five minutes passed, then some more time, and the young Indian realized that the story was over.

Then, having overcome Indian traditions that do not allow men to show excessive curiosity, he asked the old Indian: “Did you approach the girl and get to know her?”

The old Indian said: “That was the strongest love, because I did not approach the girl.”

This is a completely true story that I have heard several times from Indians. (Don't ask me where I found two Indians in Russia).

Well, more seriously and closer to the point, what does this story have to do with transforming a protracted “friendship” between a man and a woman into a deeper relationship? The most direct. In the life of almost every man there is such a story.

At a certain age, men do not need real love and a real relationship with a girl. Fantasies and sometimes seeing his “love” are enough for him. I conventionally call such relationships “on the mountain.” (That is, seeing a girl somewhere there, on a mountain, is enough for a man).

Of course, a man begins to grow up, both in terms of his calendar age and in emotional maturity, and he no longer understands why he needs a girl “on the mountain.” He wants a woman who will be next to him, with whom he will build his family, etc. In a few years, even if he meets a girl “from the mountain,” he may not show much interest in her.

However, not all men mature at the same rate as their calendar age, especially in our time. Men like to get “stuck” both at a certain age, or in a certain phase of a relationship, and in life in general.

And this man-friend is stuck in some phase of a relationship “on the rocks”, friendship, platonic love, or whatever you call it, it doesn’t matter. All the signs of falling in love are there. A male friend often thinks about his love. If he even has women, it’s only for sex, and then he quickly breaks up with them. If a man is not allowed too close (almost daily communication and visits to a woman’s home), then he can significantly change himself, his character, and achieve certain successes in order to please this woman.

Everything is fine, but the relationship is not moving, even if the woman is not against further development.

You get the feeling that he even likes it there, “near the mountain.” A male friend is “friends” with a woman, loves her (or so it seems to him), helps her and, it would seem, is happy with everything.

Below I will write about what can be done, but now there is another question.

Is this a suitable model for a woman when a man is a friend? For most, not so much.

Firstly , having a male “friend” scares off 90% or even more suitors.

I am now writing about this in detail in a new book. Explaining to other men that this is just a “friend” is useless. Women know that there is simply friendship between a man and a woman. Men (potential suitors) don’t know this and will never believe it, no matter how much they are assured.

Even for an already more or less established relationship, having a male friend poses a significant danger. Absolutely unnecessary jealousy, quarrels, etc. will constantly arise because of such a “friend”.

That is, in principle, “friendship” is possible, but until another man appears. I would even say more. Friendship with a man is beneficial for a girl (unlike a man), if such friendship does not interfere with communication with other fans and if the girl herself does not fall in love with such a man.

Secondly , if a woman would like to transfer the relationship with her “friend” to a deeper one, then this is not so easy to do .

More precisely, if a man’s “friend” is friends with a woman for several weeks or a couple of months, then all right. Usually the transition is carried out without any problems. What if it’s already been many months or years? Then the man is firmly stuck in some phase of the relationship and is difficult to move.

And the main thing is that the presence of this seemingly loving man prevents a woman from living a normal life. A woman in this situation wants the relationship (man) to somehow be determined, either there or back. That is, for the man to either leave or start courting normally. Otherwise, if in such a situation you wait until the man makes up his mind, then you can grow old.

What to do in such a situation? You can find out more at an individual Consultation . Brief here.

When I wrote the first part of this article, I mentioned the sign of “friendship”. My main task was precisely for women to learn somewhere that men are not friends with women for no reason. And knowing this sign already at the first stages of such a “friendship”, and in 99% of cases, a man’s attempts to get to know each other better either sent him, or understood what exactly the man needed and, accordingly, would structure his behavior.

However, I receive letters asking me what to do if a male friend has already been “stuck” for several months or years in his “friendship” with a woman? What should I do so that he starts courting, but the usual techniques do not work (coquetry, touching, etc.)?

The question is not as simple as it seems. My long life shows that not so many women managed to solve it successfully, despite its apparent simplicity. After all, it would seem that nothing could be simpler. A man likes a woman, a woman likes a man, they can communicate well and 90% is already done. Just a little bit left, one last throw and everything will be fine.

However, if you do not take into account very young men (who simply grow up and naturally leave this phase), and male friends with whom friendships have only been for a couple of months, then it is usually easier for a woman to break up with this man, then find a new one and build with him relationship again.

Why doesn’t the man “friend” do or undertake anything?.

Below I will give a few main reasons why a man is just friends for a long time.

The first is that the girl is not attractive enough for him..

Yes, she may be a little attractive, as a good person, but something falls short. Maybe the appearance is a little lacking. The social status may be significantly lower. Maybe when getting closer, it is clear that the girl does not have the skills of psychology of men. (blows my mind, let's say)

All these reasons can be extremely difficult to change or it may take months or years of effort, and then you may be wrong about the reason. Therefore, it makes sense to work on both appearance and social status, etc., but whether it makes sense to do this for a particular man is a question.

There are even relationships that move from the “friend” stage to one-time sex, but get stuck in this or the next phase for this reason.

The second reason is some internal reasons of the man.

He may believe that he is not ready for a relationship because he earns little, there is no place to meet, because of health problems (for example, potency), lack of confidence and something else.

Attempts by a woman to somehow solve these problems or to convince a man that everything suits you anyway (let’s say the man’s income or lack of housing) usually only leads to the woman’s excessive initiative and the negative consequences associated with this.

What to do?

Of what did work, I will give just a couple of examples.

The first technique is a sharp increase in distance.

Suitable only for those men who have not yet moved into a woman’s house. Such a man often communicates with a woman, and a temporary break with him, perhaps (don’t get your hopes up), can lead to some results. The approximate time frame for breaking a relationship is 2-4 weeks. During this time, do not communicate with a man at all, not by phone, not in person, not by email.

The second possibility is a sharp and rapid growth of some skill of yours that interferes with relationships.

Rapid growth is not possible in every area. But sometimes you can do quite a lot in 2-3 months. You can lose a lot of weight in 3 months. You can greatly change your skills in the psychology of men in 3 months. You can become more confident. Something else can be done.

If you still decide to make progress in something, then do it not so much for a specific man (after all, you can make a mistake), but rather in order to build a relationship with another man.

The third technique is shock or shaking .

I am talking about this technique not because I am a supporter of its use in relationships between people. I also assume that you have previously used all available soft means (coquetry, temporary breakup, touching, etc.).

However, sometimes nothing works. But the relationship itself is not built, and the woman loses time, confidence and opportunities to meet other men. (Just as a man loses time, by the way).

In this case, the woman, in general, has nothing to lose. You need to decide by any means with a man either there or back. For a man, any certainty is also better. (Usually male friends suffer quite a lot and are jealous). And in this case, you can use a shake-up in the relationship. After all, in any case it will only get better. If a man leaves, that’s good; if he stays and a relationship begins, that’s also good. Nothing will happen for many years and everything will not go back and forth – it will be bad.

I repeat that the use of techniques such as shaking is highly discouraged in ordinary relationships, as it can lead to their rupture.

So, how to shake a male friend?

Option number one is to involve a man in solving your existing or imagined critical situation. Attraction must be very active and forceful. That is, it is necessary that in order to resolve your situation, he needs to not only sympathize, but look for huge (for him) money, try to ask for something or demand more than he was previously capable of, do something unfamiliar in a very forced mode and etc.

At the same time, you need to not take the enormous pressure off the man. Cry, tell him to do something (“Well, do something, you’re a man” and you can shake him or cry at the same time). Do not lower your blood pressure for several days or weeks until the situation resolves. Call him yourself, ask how things are going. Don’t try to do something yourself, your job is to cry and look with hope at your male friend and ask “What’s there”?

Then, when the situation is resolved, thank and hug. Tell him that you didn’t even imagine that he was capable of this. If everything was done correctly and within 2-3 weeks the male friend did nothing, then this is most likely a hopeless option.

Second option. Give him a hard time.

Erase his favorite computer toy (unless it is really important), spill coffee on his documents, drop something heavy on his leg (in moderation, not to the point of breaking it), do something else. (I won’t give you any more examples, otherwise you’ll say later that I’m provoking you to do bad things).

Then, together with the man (if possible), try to correct the troubles caused (without feeling guilty). Provide medical assistance (bring ice or something else), apologize, patiently endure the man’s heap of justified indignation (most likely, you will learn a lot of new things about your “male friend”).

Well, that’s it, I wrote how to deal with “stuck” men. I wrote even more than I wanted.

In total, there are essentially three options. The first is to simply break up and look for a new man. Not as bad an option as it might seem. The second is that you can simply enhance feminine charm. You can change yourself. You can flirt, create situations with physical contact, if the communication is intense, then interrupt it for a while. But such behavior with men who are “stuck” for many months does not always work. The third option is to shake up the relationship and the male friend a little. This option requires some self-confidence, no fear of losing such a relationship with a man, and a little imagination.

Take the option that suits you best, come up with your own (write to me about them and the results you get) and you will definitely succeed.

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