A little science
The issue of gerontophilia as a mental health disorder has not yet been fully studied. Since this pathology is often not illegal (with the exception of the sadism of one of the partners or the seduction of minors), it does not have much social significance and is perceived in most cases as an eccentricity.
To clearly understand the nature of sexual deviant behavior and clarify the concept of “gerontophilia,” it is necessary to clarify the age of the partners and the reasons for the development of gerontophilia.
In modern psychiatry, age limits for determining the pathological condition in question are not clearly established. The German scientist Magnus Hirschfeld indicated in his works that the difference between partners should be at least 50 years. Otherwise, even sympathy between two elderly people could be regarded as gerontophilia.
The World Health Organization (WHO) classifies ages as follows:
- 44–60 years old - average age;
- 60–75 years old - old age;
- 75–90 years - old age;
- over 90 years old - long-livers.
Based on this, individuals who experience sexual attraction to people aged 75 years and older can be considered gerontophiles. However, if we consider the opinion of Magnus Hirschfeld, then attraction to older people is regarded as deviant behavior. For example, if the age difference is 50 years, one partner is 20 years old and the other is 70. Therefore, people who had a relationship with a partner who was 40 or 50 years old cannot belong to the group of gerontophiles.
To date, there are no specific statistical data on the prevalence and frequency of the described mental disorder. But if we consider that, according to the literature, there are from 5 to 10% of homosexuals in the world (one of the types of sexual deviant behavior), it is logical to assume that the number of gerontophiles will vary within these limits.
The use of sexual attraction to older people in art is noteworthy. For example, in 2013, a sensational film was released called “Gerontophilia” by Canadian director Bruce LaBruce.
Ageism
Given this cultural orientation, it is not surprising that older people are increasingly becoming targets of ageism (age discrimination). If at work such an attitude towards older people can entail criminal liability, then in society supporters of ageism are much less likely to face condemnation. This phenomenon can be seen as a predictable by-product of a culture in which aging has little or no positive value.
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The problem goes back centuries. Nowadays, we are only observing the results of upbringing, which inevitably had to be reflected in the thinking of young people. The idea and reality of aging contradict prevailing social values, attitudes and beliefs, a phenomenon that has largely disenfranchised and isolated older people from the rest of the population.
Are relationships with older people always gerontophilia?
To answer this question it is necessary to return to the definition of deviation. Gerontophilia is an attraction to old people, regardless of gender, but not an interest in a specific person. This means that psychiatrists do not consider love for a specific person to be a deviation, even if he is much older.
Marriages or relationships with older people are often dictated by self-interest on the part of young partners. This is a fairly common occurrence among millionaires, for example, the creator of the Playboy empire and his young wife.
Gerontophiles experience sexual attraction in general only to old people and make no exceptions.
Reasons Why Some Men Love Older Women
A group of scientists from Colorado studied the relationships between mature men and young girls and came to the conclusion that the reasons for such unions have more than just a material basis. "Evening Moscow", in turn, asked the question - what motivates young people who prefer to date older women? An expert on family and marriage issues, Valentina Zakotsola, helped to understand the situation
— Valentina, you have been helping people find their mates for many years. Do men often contact you to find a woman 5, 10, 20 years older than themselves?
— Half of the men do not voice age restrictions at all. About 40 percent are looking for younger girls, 10 percent prefer to build relationships with girls their own age. Of course, as you can see, many people want to date young people. But if five years ago the vast majority of men in search dreamed of young, slender models, today for many of them the bar has moved, for example, from 25 years to 35–38.
— For what reasons do guys choose older women? Are such unions often concluded “of convenience”?
“There are also those who want to improve their social status at the expense of an adult, self-sufficient woman.” But I will say that in our time it is no longer so common to enter into alliances for the sake of profit. Now people have begun to feel each other to a greater extent, to focus on making it comfortable, cozy, so that a person has a “close” energy... And based on this, build relationships. Of course, the material basis is also important for many, since we live in a material world. But the main reasons lie in the field of psychology. We all come from childhood. If, for example, a young man’s mother was 10–15 years older than his father, this is normal and acceptable for him, and he can build his personal life according to the same rules.
— So, such men are looking for a mother in a woman?
- Yes. Or they are simply looking for a strong, self-sufficient partner. Although now many young girls themselves build and develop businesses and earn money. Nowadays young people are great, we meet very strong personalities, and this makes us happy.
- Maybe the fact is that an adult woman has more experience - in all areas...
- Yes, this also plays a role. Next to such a man, he develops. And then there are young guys who are much older than their age inside - they’re like uncles, grandfathers. I have a friend, the son of an oligarch, he is 28 years old. So in his communication he behaves like a 45-year-old man - so constructive, serious, mature. Even his clothing style is far from youthful. And he needs a woman for the family, a homely one, maybe even older. He wants to build a family model in the likeness of his parents. Almost everyone has a family model, and there should be one. If it is not there, a “skew” often occurs in one direction or another, and a person looks for different options.
— I wonder what age difference is optimal? At what point will this relationship definitely have no future? If a woman is 20, 30, 40 years older?
- You see, I cannot answer this question, and no one can, because we are not gods. Who knows whether people will succeed or not? I know a couple: she is 39, he is 23. His mother was also older than his father. This couple had a child, everything is fine with them. It's all individual. You can’t just say, “This relationship is doomed.” In no case. Look, for example, how harmoniously Pugachev and Galkin built their relationship - as far as we can see. They are happy, they raise their children in love. Alla Borisovna has a lot of life experience, which she shares with Maxim, and she, in turn, needs young energy. In such relationships, people use each other - in the good sense of the word. And everyone chooses for themselves what is comfortable for them.
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We convey warm greetings to you, dear subscribers! Just two years ago, the most common phrases from people I met on the street were: “I was at your concert or I’m going to a concert and saw you on TV.” Now: “I look at your Instagram and go to your concert!” And this is great: communication channels change, but the connection remains! There are already 6,000,000 of us, which is the same number as the highest-rated episodes of my television program “Best of All!” Thank you for your interest!
Publication from Maxim Galkin (@maxgalkinru) July 11, 2021 at 2:50 PDT
- Maybe this is partly PR...
— Maybe, but if we’re not talking about stars, but about those who live a simpler life, now many women look gorgeous at 45. And among 30-year-olds there are unkempt “mochi aunts” who “eat away” their problems... It all depends on the girl’s inner mood. The worst thing is when there is no goal, no development... For many men, inner strength, intelligence, and a woman’s interest in the world are much more important than age; when there is something to talk about and something to do together. Yes, at least run a joint business.
— Here is the first lady of France, 24 years older than her husband (Emmanuel Macron is 41 years old, Brigitte Macron is 66 years old). ... How can this marriage be explained?
- This needs to be understood in their personal life, in childhood, in upbringing, why this happened. I don’t know the biography of Macron and his wife so deeply, so I don’t presume to judge. But this only emphasizes and shows that the cases are different from one another.
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