100 original and funny answers to the question “How are you?”

Incredible facts

Hi, how are you? The easiest way to answer this question would be “Everything is fine.”

However, this answer sounds rather boring and predictable.

In fact, this question can be a great way to start an interesting conversation .

.

If you are tired of ordinary, no different phrases, this list will be a real salvation for you.

Choose one of the answers,

which will be a breath of fresh air in your daily communication.

Who knows where this conversation will take you.

They just asked

If you were asked this question just like that, on the go, then you should not tell the person about the situation in your home, regardless of whether it is positive or not. You can smile back and also say the usual phrase: “everything is fine” or “the best.”

Another thing is your best friend, whom you haven’t seen for a long time. She may also be interested in the state of your love affairs, the beginning of which she witnessed. You can briefly tell her about the main thing, like, “I’m getting married, you’re invited too,” “I broke up with him a long time ago, we’re not a couple,” and things like that.

Technique for asserting personal boundaries No. 1 - “retelling the manipulator’s request”

It begins with the phrase: “So, you want to tell me that...”

How it sounded in my case: “That is, you want to tell me that you did not manage to fulfill your work duties on time. And now you’re asking me to work for you for free for 2 hours and make a report while you go home and rest? Do I understand you correctly?

This technique does a good job of dotting the i’s. When you honestly say that you see exactly how you are being manipulated, at that moment the manipulator begins to make excuses and tries to leave as quickly as possible.

In any relationship there is a balance of give and take. And if you feel that you are giving more than you receive, your personal boundaries have definitely been violated.

It is important to ensure that you are surrounded only by positive people with whom you are in balance. But we'll talk about this a little later. Now let's move on to practice.

I want to share with you a few more tools that will help you assert your personal boundaries.

Out of curiosity

If you see that a person is overly interested in your affairs, then you should not answer this question unequivocally either. You don’t know for what purpose they ask you about personal matters, whether this person wishes you well, so it’s enough to assure him that everything is fine with you. If a curious person keeps pestering you with questions that you don’t want to answer at all, you need to cut him off with a phrase like “if I need advice, I’ll contact you” or “I don’t discuss this topic with my friends.” Let this person think next time before minding his own business.

In a friendly circle

Sometimes friends really hurt you. For example, you are sitting at some party of friends, almost everyone came in pairs, and you are alone. Some may ask: “How are you on the personal front? You’re already 30, it’s time to get married.” This is already a sore subject for you, but here it is. Don't show that you're hurt. Feel free to retort: ​​“According to statistics, marriages after 30 are less likely to break up. So you, who got married a long time ago, have something to worry about” or “I’m getting married soon, it’s a pity that you can’t come, because we’re celebrating in Paris.” Such answers will prevent you from being offended another time and will demonstrate your sharp mind.

Signs of weak personal boundaries

  1. They put too much pressure on you and take advantage of your soft-heartedness;
  2. You do things for another person, and push your own to the side;
  3. You don't know how to say no;
  4. Feel guilty if you refuse others;
  5. You are afraid of looking bad in other people's eyes, so you always agree to requests.

What are the dangers of shaky borders and why strengthen them? When you tolerate a violation of personal boundaries, you lose energy and vitality, move yourself to the margins of your own life, and lose your individuality. Working through personal boundaries is important for you to feel confident and safe in this world, to realize your potential, and not to indulge the will of others.

Close people

But you can trust your close people. Mom, sister, grandmother - they will ask this question for a reason. They can help you find a way out of a difficult situation, and it’s better for you to talk it out. Noticing that you are in a sad mood or feeling unwell, the first thing they will think is that something is wrong with you in your personal relationships. If everything is fine, then hurry to reassure them, saying that everything is fine with you and there is no need to worry. Thank you for your support.

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Answer the question “How are you?” it can be done in different ways. You should not be like your interlocutor and use banal answers or ask primitive questions: “How is life young?”, “What are you doing?”, “How are you doing?” and other boring phrases that will repel your interlocutor. Humor will help turn the conversation in a friendly and interesting direction: “How are you on the personal front?” - “I haven’t killed everyone yet” or “Quiet as in a tank.” You can answer with sarcasm: “The cases are with the prosecutor, but with me it’s just small matters.”

How to answer your ex-boyfriend’s question “how are you?” in order to hurt him

Such questions from “ex” are not always sincere. Often a guy may want to tease you. And what’s most interesting is that this is done because the “ex” himself feels awkward when meeting you, but wants to show that he is on horseback.

Therefore, you need to answer in such a way as to upset him:

  • I was in a wonderful mood until I met you, my dear.
  • Great. What did you think that without you the Earth would stop rotating?
  • I’m creaking slowly, and quite annoyingly!
  • I won’t tell you, otherwise you’ll be jealous!
  • Great, unlike some.
  • Sorry, I had an autism attack when I saw you.

Phrases for men

If a girl asks “What do you do in life?” to continue the conversation, a man can choose original and funny answers:

  • “I’m blowing the dust off the gingerbread cookies.”
  • “I teach the cat to talk so that he can answer such questions instead of me.”
  • “I consider record holders for asking stupid questions.”
  • “I’m drying crackers.”

Best responses to the phrase “How are you?”:

  • “The prosecutor’s office is filing it.”
  • “My affairs are fabulous and mysterious. The farther it goes, the darker and scarier it becomes.”
  • “Like a yard dog, I’m sitting on a chain and wagging my tail.”
  • “Like dill - everything in a bunch!”
  • “Things are going well, just passing by.”
  • “Everything would be wonderful, but I don’t sleep well at night, I fall off the mattress, the dollars no longer fit in it. ".
  • “I have things to do with a checkered stripe.”
  • “You’ve become interested in my affairs too often, do you really work for the FSB or the FBI?”
  • “Like damp salt. I don’t get enough sleep either.”
  • “The flies would definitely love it.”
  • “Mother is pleased with me.”
  • “Life is getting shorter every minute, but everything is fine.”
  • “It’s like a taxi – the longer you drive, the more expensive it will cost.”

How to beautifully respond to a banal “Hello!”:

  • “I greet you too, oh my brightest and most original interlocutor.”
  • “I hear you from hello.”
  • “Hello to you too?” We have found each other".
  • “Please confirm that you are a human and not a robot and enter the captcha in the field below this message.”
  • “What erudition, what a broad outlook and huge vocabulary! I’m delighted, there are simply no words, only emotions.”
  • “Oh, I feel the gift of prediction has opened in me. I can even guess your next phrase: “How are you?”

If a man wants to continue communicating with a girl, it is important to know the fine line and not cross it by responding with rudeness or writing obscene language, since the young lady may be offended and will not write to the guy again.

Another way to ask about business:

  • “How are you, business, business, tricks and life?”
  • “How are you doing, tests, blood pressure, stool, well-being, mood, pulse, appetite, health. In general, answer like you, I’m interested in everything in the smallest details.”
  • “Tell me, how do you live and breathe without me?”

You can write banal phrases in a foreign language and an ordinary greeting will turn into an original message that the girl will try to decipher.

The phrase “Hello!” in different languages:

  • Chinese - nihau, ma;
  • Japanese - konnitiva;
  • Hawaiian - aloha;
  • Hindi - namaste;
  • Georgian - gamarjoba, etc.

Answer options for girls

To a man’s question “How did you sleep?”, the girl will be able to give original and funny answers:

  • “Stormy and cramped, I had a 200-pound man with me.”
  • “I’m scared, I’m afraid to sleep alone, will you keep me company so that I can finally get some sleep?”
  • “Today you dreamed, so you woke up in a cold sweat.”
  • “Excellent, but damn little. "
  • “I decided to become a lark. And now I’m a sleep-deprived and angry owl.”
  • “It’s bad, as always. But this is good, because the main thing in life is stability!”
  • “It would be much more pleasant with a sexy handsome guy.”

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Answers with humor to a man’s question “How are you?” and what are you doing?":

  • “I haven’t given birth yet, as soon as I give birth, I’ll let you know.”
  • “Thank you, regularly.”
  • “I wouldn’t mind giving up a suitcase with green rubles to improve things.”
  • “I get another orgasm from questions like this.”
  • “I decided to strike the figure - I’m indulging in buns.”
  • “I’m sitting lying down.”
  • “I’m fixing a faucet. A woman's occupation? I won’t refuse help.”
  • “I’m looking for a candidate for the father of my future children.”
  • “Great, my cat is sleeping without his hind legs, and now I’m frying a chicken leg.”
  • “I celebrate Tractor Driver Day (any holiday that is celebrated in different countries of the world on this day).”
  • “I’m sad. I’m fed up with those who ask such questions.”
  • “What to answer: great - you won’t believe me, bad - you still won’t help.”
  • “There are no cases because there are no bodies.”
  • "Ambivalent."
  • “Two days by carriage, a week on foot.”
  • “Everything is covered in chocolate, including the keyboard.”
  • "Out of quiet sadness."
  • “I’m not busy right now. She left for a while."
  • "Guess. The word with the letter X. It’s not a fact that it’s good.”
  • “They are going well, but in an unknown direction.”
  • “Are you eager to talk about this topic?”
  • “Growing, blooming and smelling.”
  • “I’m dying, drying up, wasting away.”
  • “Life is hard without Persen.”
  • "Everything is fine. only in the accidental."
  • “Like a native: I walk naked, eat shit and sleep with just anyone.”
  • “Continuous, equal and compact.”
  • “You are businesslike, and I am lazy by nature.”
  • “Excellent, so much so that there is nothing to tell.”
  • “Dum spiro spero (I hope while I breathe).”
  • “Things ended yesterday.”
  • “I’m trying to enslave the world.”
  • “I’m meditating on your message.”

What to answer if they ask “How are you on the personal front?”:

  • “I’m now in the calm before the coming storm.”
  • "The front is temporarily unavailable as it is under development."
  • “A lot of your men were killed.”
  • “No change on the western front, as well as on the eastern, southern and northern.”
  • “I’m holding defenses along the entire perimeter.”
  • “I’ll surrender soon.”
  • “The enemies are attacking, but I am not giving up!”
  • “Personally, everything is happy and excellent for me personally.”
  • “Personal - it’s personal for that reason, it’s indecent to tell.”

Do you feel like Bridget Jones at Christmas dinner, with your relatives not lagging behind for a minute? Marital status “not married” or unwillingness to have children does not give others the right to meddle in your life. To explain this to those who do this, use our tips.

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It may seem that the main purpose of tactless whys is to get under your skin. But it is not always the case. Anastasia Krinitsyna, psychologist, senior lecturer at RUDN, explains: others quite often ask incorrect questions, generally pursuing good goals. So why do these lovely people make us blush?

Burning with curiosity

Those who lead a measured lifestyle, when nothing changes for many years, lack events. And they begin to spy on others: for example, reading scandalous details about celebrity relationships or gossiping about friends and neighbors. These people see in you the heroine of Sarah Jessica Parker and are looking forward to the next episode.

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Worried

Most often, this category includes relatives. Mom filled out your Tinder profile and terrorizes you: “When will you finally find a husband?” This is how parents suffering from overprotection behave. For them, you are still a little girl, and not an independent person. Don't worry, it will go away with time.

Looking for a common theme

A friend has changed: has she gotten married or is expecting a child? “Get ready for endless conversations about marriage and children,” the expert warns. Previously, you could spend hours discussing noisy parties and upcoming sales. But now her views have changed more dramatically than Katy Perry's image.

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They think in stereotypes

Those who are used to living according to a script can also ask uncomfortable questions. Everything here is predictable, like a concert in honor of Police Day. Any deviations from the “college-marriage-children-retirement” plan are unacceptable. Like inveterate gamers, they strive to move to the next “level”. And they think that you dream of hearing Mendelssohn’s march right after graduation from college.

How to react?

Counterstrike

The best defense is attack. Pretend that you are also concerned about the fate of your neighbor. How many rides in the elevator have you experienced together? Attack your interlocutor with his own weapon. Everyone has weaknesses. “When will there be children?” Answer: “It’s good that you asked! How is Vanechka doing at school?” "How much money do you make?" Answer: “Speaking of finances, how is your credit? Is your husband helping?

On the positive

There are people who are infuriated by the successes of others, but other people’s failures, on the contrary, give them strength. Let's leave the envious with nothing. Pretend that you don't care about their barbs. “Why are you so thin?” Answer: “Really? It's so nice to hear that!" “You still haven’t gotten a job?” Answer: “No! I continue to have a great time!”

"I didn't understand"

Reframe your interlocutor's question. The point is to make him feel stupid. The poor guy won't calm down? Make it clear that you do not intend to discuss this topic. And stay calm. “When is the second one?” Answer: “It seemed to me, or would you like to participate?”

Wrong address

Move the arrows. Why should you report and predict the future? Direct the curious to more knowledgeable people or higher powers. May Google help everyone! “When will you get married again?” Answer: “I don’t have such information.” “How much do your shoes cost?” Answer: “I have no idea, it’s a gift.”

A smile will make everyone brighter

Just kidding! An effective, but also the most difficult method, as it requires a sense of humor. But by skillfully combining indifference with wit, you will kill two birds with one stone and one talker. “When will you get married?” Answer: “We were just getting ready today, but overslept. We’ll definitely set an alarm for tomorrow!” "Why do not you have a boyfriend?" Answer: “He was, he died of happiness.”

It's easier to be offended than to be honest about what annoys you.

Russian women have a habit of “swallowing an insult.” Why is this dangerous? If you remained silent and did not tell about your offense right away, then the pain settles in your body. It gradually accumulates and turns into a disease. The disease is given to you FOR PAIN, that’s why it’s called that.

For example, a sore throat is an obvious lump of resentment in the throat. A cold, runny nose, fever, and all similar symptoms are a signal that, most likely, personal boundaries have been violated. That is, your body tells you: “My dear, you can’t live like this anymore! Here's your temperature. Just lie down and think.”

And it happens the other way around. Women pour out all their accumulated grievances, but not on the offenders, but on innocent people. For example, at work your boss made you angry, and you didn’t tell him about it. The anger remains. And then you come home and lash out at your family and friends. For what? It’s better to honestly tell the offender that you can’t be treated like that.

Understand that people cannot read minds. They didn’t study to become psychics, they don’t read your field and have no idea what your personal boundaries are. Everyone was raised in different families. Everyone has their own habits and their own limits of what is permitted. And until you clearly tell us how you can and cannot work with you, no one will guess. You and only you can tell about your personal boundaries!

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