Hello! My name is Igor Lapin, I am a professional pickup trainer. Today I will help you understand the question: “how to tell a girl that I need her?” They say that girls think in hints and express their feelings with them.
Guys usually don't understand hints at all and want to hear statements about feelings in plain text. However, despite common stereotypes, we can say with confidence that women are not telepaths either. If you’re thinking about how to show a girl that I need her, then take action! This is what is valued in men.
You can, of course, write a bunch of abstract advice, as most pickup artists do. Something like: “Be confident in yourself” or “Just be yourself.” But does this have any practical value? Therefore, I will try to give recommendations on specific actions in as much detail as possible.
What to write to a girl to make her fall in love with you
Many people think that to make her fall in love, you need to write something about yourself - show it in the best way, present it from the right angle, convince her of your own magnificence, add a little advertising. This is not entirely true: there is no point in pretending to be someone else at first if you plan to develop the relationship. Keeping a mask on for a long time is difficult and quite stupid. There are general recommendations on how to communicate at first, and I will share them. But don’t forget about sincerity and your own comfort. If you're not right for each other, it's better to realize it sooner.
To begin with, I suggest you find out what love is, and to achieve a girl’s sympathy and love, you will need time and compliance with six rules. I will tell you about them in as much detail as possible.
- Be confident. It is this quality that will help you not to be shy, to find a way out of dead-end moments in correspondence, and to raise it to a new level. If a girl feels your confidence in herself, she will feel calm. She will perceive you as a reliable person and will not worry much about your neuroses - these are just not worth showing right away. Gaining self-confidence takes a long time. You will need to realize your strengths and weaknesses, come to terms with them and add achievements for which you will respect yourself. It is also not easy to fabricate it, because it is either felt in all behavior or not. Even if you manage to fake it, it's only a matter of time before you fail.
- Add mystery to the image. Don't talk about everything, answer some questions with "it's a secret I won't share", don't explain all your motives and actions. Don’t overdo it and don’t turn into a puzzle for the girl, which there’s no need to solve - after all, correspondence and feelings were what you needed in the first place. However, a slight flair of mystery and mystery will add interest to your personality.
- Be positive. This doesn't mean don't talk about problems at all, just don't do it all the time and don't whine. Better joke more. Guys with a sense of humor are always likable and easily find a common language with anyone. People love optimists: mentioning your problems is not scary, as long as you don’t do it all the time and don’t say that they are huge and unsolvable. The ideal balance is not to pretend that your life consists of unicorns and rainbows, but also not to make the girl the psychologist you go to to talk it out. Try not to complain and keep negative discussions to a minimum.
- Be a friend. Friendship is a safe distance for acquaintance and the first step towards love. But behave as a friend, not as a girlfriend - do not agree to shopping together, do not gossip. Show that you are a man and don't drag out this stage for too long so as not to end up in the friend zone. Show male attention: give compliments and gifts, reduce the distance.
- Make her feel special. Making sure that she is the only one receiving such attention is very important for a girl, it helps to better focus on the question of who you are to her and how she feels. By showing her value, you will provoke her to respond. Listen to her. Women's stories often seem like empty chatter to men, but if you remember the name of her best friend, where she spends her time, what she is interested in, and stop asking again every time, this will bring results immediately. And it will certainly come in handy in the future.
- Tell her why. Why did you like her - not only in appearance, but also in her character traits, views, habits. Convince that this is not a random choice, and that you made it consciously, and not based on three photos on a social network.
- Surprise. Make surprises once a week or two - maintain her enthusiasm and degree of emotions in the relationship. Find out what flowers she likes and send them to her home or work. Fulfill her long-standing wish. Help with something where she didn't count on your help. Arrange surprises and give gifts for no reason - but do not overdo it so that it does not become boring and becomes a habit.
To gently hint at a relationship, you need
Explain why she is special and you need her
Make it clear that you don't just want a relationship with some girl, but that you are interested in her. Tell us what you like most about her, why you think your couple has a chance for a happy relationship. Tell her about when you first realized that you liked him, what exactly you felt. Girls especially like such stories.
Show how much a woman cares for you
It happens that words are not always enough, and many women no longer take words seriously. Therefore, do not neglect actions that could show her your true attitude towards her. Many men have forgotten what it means to “court” a woman, thereby increasing the “value” of those who still do it.
Induce her to have her first kiss
Most women believe that the beginning of a serious relationship is the first date or declaration of love, and the first kiss. If you bring your meeting to the point that it ends with the first kiss (you can do this when parting, walking your chosen one home), then it means that you were completely able to win her over.
Voice your desire that you want to see her next to you
Some women do not understand hints or do not want to take them seriously for fear of getting into an awkward position. Usually we are talking about adults, busy or business women who do not have time to “catch” your signals. In this case, it is best to say your feelings directly.
Rules of communication for guys
To please a girl, you need to conquer her. And when the only tool is correspondence, you have to rely mainly on personal qualities and communication skills. For some, this comes naturally, but if you don’t feel strong enough or experienced enough, I’ll help you with the basic rules.
- Be polite. Say hello, say goodbye, inquire about news and well-being, and say thank you.
- Be interested. Don't just ask the trivial question “what's new?”, ask about the girl. About what she likes, about childhood, about plans, about opinions on various issues.
- Try to write in an original way. Tell us how unusual some events look to you. Ask unexpected questions, praise for the unobvious, make jokes.
- Don't pester me with questions. If a girl doesn't answer, she might be busy.
- Follow the rules of spelling and punctuation.
- Don't talk about everything. There is no need to retell everything that is happening in your life and demand the same from the girl.
Afterword
Take into account not only personal characteristics, but also age. At 20 years old, girls are more attracted to romance, at 30 years old - stability, thoughts about family, building a career.
Beware of psychological vampires, extortionists, manipulators. If a girl is playing with you, she enjoys the very fact of manipulation, of being forced to prove her love, then this is obviously a losing game. Vampire girls' favorite game is Dynamo. Consider whether you are wasting your potential.
Top phrases to use in correspondence
Among them are both those with which it is convenient to start correspondence, and those that will come in handy when contact has already been established. These are good tips on what to write to a girl you like in a messenger - for example, in VK.
- Poetry. From the Internet and your own composition - the latter will be especially good, although sometimes it is difficult to notice the difference.
- Compliments. To show interest in a girl and gain her favor. Try not to send. Start with compliments on appearance, and as you get to know each other, praise character traits that you have noticed.
- Romantic twists. It’s not necessarily about how good you will be together, because there is plenty of romance that is not related to the relationship. It should be something exciting, unusual, beautiful that is happening around you.
- “I saw you today. You look great!"
- “How would you react if a guy who makes great coffee decided to meet you?”
- “I'm too humble to formulate the perfect first message. But I want to meet you too much not to write anything.”
- “The creator of the Internet deserves a monument: without him, I would not have seen either your profile or the wonderful photos in it!”
- “We’ve only been corresponding for a few days, but I already feel some kind of kinship of souls”
- “It’s very easy to communicate with you - it’s so great!”
- “If you can get so much pleasure from just one correspondence with you, I’m afraid to imagine what will happen when we meet!”
How to prove your love to a girl from a distance?
If life separates lovers, then this should not become a death sentence for their relationship. If you want to prove your love to a girl, then even from a distance try to find ways:
- Communicate by phone or Skype every day. Talk about various topics, including how your day was, etc.
- Give her gifts. This can be done through an agency, which will, through a courier, bring gifts and flowers to the girl’s house on certain days.
- Talk about the future. Be sure to set aside a time when you can come to visit the girl to see her. Discuss dates when you will see each other again.
What to write to a girl who doesn't know you
The question of how to start a correspondence seems to be one of the most difficult when starting to communicate with a girl. The important point is not to scare her, to sound confident enough, but harmless. The stranger will continue communication only if she feels safe and interested. Based on this, you need to practice creativity. But fortunately, there is a formula for the perfect first message that she will definitely respond to.
I’ll tell you what nice words to start a correspondence with:
- “I feel the vibes of your charm even through the Internet and I can’t help it. Let's get acquainted?"
- “There is not a single cat, recipe or vanilla phrase in your profile. It seems that I have met the ideal. Let's get acquainted? :)"
- “I made a bet with my friends that I could find the girl of my dreams on the Internet and meet her. I completed the first part of the plan, but I need your help with the second to win. Shall we meet?
- “Let’s shame those who are still convinced that online dating is stupid”
- “You wrote that you like chocolate coffee. I can’t convey the feeling of it on the Internet - can I still treat you to it in real life?”
- “After I saw your account, I definitely can’t consider social networks evil and a hindrance to real life. Let's get acquainted and prove that they complement each other perfectly?
- “I have an important life principle - not to meet people on the Internet. But for your sake I cannot help but break it. You are amazing!
- “I don’t know if there are internet gods, but I’m ready to thank them for seeing your profile.”
- “Girl, you blinded me with the beauty of your photos, and now I can’t see anything. You’ll have to pay for this and let me meet you and treat you to coffee.”
- “The Internet is a great invention. How else would I have known about you if not for him? I suggest celebrating this event by getting to know each other - for example, over a cup of coffee.”
To create the perfect message, you need to combine three components:
- compliment
- joke
- specific proposal
This is exactly the combination that is needed to evoke both understanding and a positive reaction from the girl.
What words to write to a girl you know
On the one hand, it is easier to establish communication with a girl you know - because you already know each other and can guess what she likes and how best to communicate with her. On the other hand, it’s more difficult, because she has already formed an opinion about you and is guided mainly by it, and not by emotions. You need to think about how to start a conversation with a girl. Knowing your weaknesses, she dismisses you as a potential partner in advance. Changing this opinion and creating feelings can be difficult. The main task in this case is to express your own intentions and show yourself as a young man, and not a friend. And the best tool for this is flirting. It should be light, unambiguous, but not vulgar.
Here are ten examples:
- “Yesterday you looked so stunning that all my phrases for tackles simply flew out of my head.”
- “It’s a pity that you left so early - you didn’t have time to stop admiring it.”
- “How about coffee tomorrow night? I haven’t heard your laughter for a long time, I’ve already missed you.”
- “I’ve heard so many good things about your Labrador—can’t wait to meet him!”
- “The pencil skirt you wore recently opened my eyes to the beauty of your legs.”
- “Without makeup, your eyes are even brighter and more expressive—a rare trait!”
- “I’m ready to talk to you for hours, but work doesn’t wait. Shall we continue in the evening?
- “Your sense of style is great. Can you give me some tips on how to organize a wardrobe?”
- “They say that Coffeemania has excellent mocha, but I’ve heard where they make it the coolest. Shall we check it together?
- “Don’t you have a few mountains to move? Because you inspire me to do great things, and I need to do something with all this energy."
Use emoticons and emoji in your communication to make your correspondence brighter and more expressive, but don’t communicate exclusively with them. Send pictures, gifs, videos and music so that the correspondence is not boring and monotonous and there are more topics for discussion.
What not to write
There are things that will definitely scare a girl away. They would be unpleasant for anyone to receive, and they would definitely kill correspondence. Each girl, in addition to them, has her own points, but you have to find out about them yourself.
I will list the general prohibitions, and you do not fall into their trap.
- Grammatical errors
- Dirty hints
- Obscene language
- Excessive machismo and overconfidence
- Narcissism and complete focus on oneself, lack of attention to the girl
- Too many emoji
- Standard phrases like “hi, how are you?” at the beginning of the correspondence
- Constant complaints about problems and life
- Rudeness
- Coercive language, pressure.
You know how to make a girl fall in love by correspondence and now go to the rating of the best dating sites and start upgrading your skills!
