How to become an interesting person in 15 simple steps

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There are people who are so charismatic, they know everything, they can support any topic of conversation. They are easy and comfortable. And you look at him and think how to become a sociable and interesting person? In fact, everything is not so difficult, but you will have to try if you want to become a truly interesting person and be liked by everyone. Read to the end, as usual, all the most interesting things are there.

Understand what it means to be an interesting person

No matter who you are or what you've done, not everyone will find you interesting. Just as we find different hobbies, topics and movies interesting, we also find different people interesting.

What makes you interesting to one person may not be so attractive to others. But that doesn't mean they won't be fascinated by some other aspect of your personality or life.

So part of what it takes to be an interesting person is knowing your audience and focusing on the things you think they might like.

Or, if you've just met someone, you can briefly hint at different things until you get a response that indicates they want to know more about something specific. And even if you don't see much interest in them, you can still try to seem interesting by following some of the tips below.

How to become an interesting conversationalist on the phone

The reminder “How to become a sociable and interesting conversationalist” will also work great when communicating on the phone:

• be brief - do not build long sentences;
• do not interrupt your interlocutor;
• know how to listen;
• don’t be selfish – don’t talk only about yourself;
• avoid too long pauses.

Since visual contact is excluded in this method of communication, auditory perception plays an important role here. You don’t see your partner’s gaze, he also can’t appreciate your gesture - your smile, so you need to choose the right words and the intonation with which they will be spoken. And pauses during a telephone conversation are the most dangerous, as they create awkward situations. If you feel that it is difficult for you to communicate on the phone due to the fact that you do not have time to think through phrases or figure out how to correctly formulate a sentence or how to answer, take up neuroscience.

How to be an interesting conversationalist in a company

To become a more sociable and interesting interlocutor in a company, it is not necessary to have the gift of eloquence, to know everything about everything in order to maintain a conversation. It is enough to also follow our Memo.

What nuances should you pay attention to in this case:

1. You shouldn’t spend the entire evening telling everyone only about yourself, and generally try to seize power - let others speak.
2. Know how to listen to your opponents. This is where the trick lies. To become an interesting conversationalist, apply the rule of active listening. Thus, you will immediately stand out from the company, and the attention of all participants will be drawn to you.
3. When speaking in front of an audience, try not to look through those around you, but give everyone your look. This will demonstrate that you are addressing your speech to everyone.
4. Pay attention to postures, gestures, and your position in relation to the speaker. All this is important to become a very interesting conversationalist.
5. Use psychological techniques to influence people.

How to become an interesting correspondent, how to become an interesting conversationalist for everyone - remain yourself. This is perhaps the main condition, the observance of which will help you arouse the interest of others. Falsehood and hypocrisy are intuitively felt and deliberately create an unfavorable opinion about you. Don't be selfish, don't interrupt during a conversation, and try to listen carefully to your interlocutor. Smile!

Learn to tell stories

The best way to become an interesting person and attract people to what you have to say is to tell stories.

History has a plot. It creates uncertainty. History is something that people can relate to.

When you tell a story, you invite them to travel back in time. Stories are memorable. So when your interaction with someone is over, your story will be remembered by them more than anything else.

You can tell a story to help you express an opinion, explain something, or make people laugh.

Stories are very powerful. Use them wisely.

How to become more confident, lively and pleasant in communication

I understand your situation and since you are reading this article, I have an effective solution for you. Trainings are great for developing communication skills.

The online intensive “Effective Communication” is suitable for:

1. Entrepreneurs, executives, top managers.
2. For those who work with clients, middle managers, and freelancers.
3. To everyone who is involved in raising children.
4. Anyone who wants to improve their communication with others.

The author of the course is Oleg Kalinichev, an expert in nonverbal behavior, emotional intelligence and lie detection. Accredited trainer Paul Ekman International. Managing Director of Paul Ekman International in Russia (PEI Russia).

You will learn:

1. Communicate with closed people.
2. Coping with daily problems involving other people.
3. Influence your environment and much more.

The course lasts 1 month and contains 33 video lectures, 26 exercises, 6 tests + webinars with emotional intelligence experts.

The training consists of 4 blocks:

1. Emotions. Basics.
2. Emotional stability and emotional flexibility.
3. Social efficiency.
4. Building harmonious relationships.

How it goes:

1. You are watching video lectures.
2. Then you complete independent tasks to reinforce the material.
3. Participate in webinars and discuss difficult issues.
4. Take tests on the material you have studied.
5. You complete the intensive course and receive a certificate.

The cost of completing it independently is 1,040 rubles, with a curator – 2,370 rubles.

They will refund your money if you decide within 7 days that the course is not suitable for you.

There is an article on our blog reviewing the Vikium platform on which the training will take place, read:

• Brain simulators and courses Vikium - the most detailed and honest review of the online learning platform + reviews

Well, are we studying?

Include others in the conversation

If you're part of a group but one or two people do most of the talking, it can be helpful to keep everything gently negotiated so everyone can have their say.

It could be as simple as saying, “What do you think about this?”

Alternatively, it could mean moving on to a topic that you know the other person is more knowledgeable about than others in the conversation.

You can guide the process and help everyone by asking questions and being aware of the balance of the conversation. You'll appear more interesting, helping the conversation flow more naturally.

Bringing out your best qualities

How to become an interesting person? There are all kinds of advice, but most recommendations say: you need to be careful and notice every little detail. There is something to talk about with any person, the main thing is to find a topic whose source is the interlocutor himself. You just need to take a closer look at it. Did you notice a few hairs on his T-shirt? Then it’s worth casually asking if your interlocutor has a cat. He will immediately become interested in the interlocutor - he will at least be intrigued by the person’s observation skills. And then the topic can be developed. This is where education and reading are needed. People who know a lot are able to easily and imperceptibly move from one topic to another and reason in such a way that it will not be boring. Dialogue with them rarely reaches a dead end. But even if everything has already been discussed, they have a trump card. And these are questions. The kind that can spark a new round of dialogue.

It is enough just to ask what else, in addition to what was agreed, the interlocutor is interested in, or what he would like to do. Even without keeping questions in mind, you can always get your bearings. The question should only show the interlocutor its significance. Few people don't like to talk about themselves. The main thing is to be sincerely interested in them.

Listen more than you talk

No matter how powerful your own words are, if you want to be interesting to others, you should also let them speak.

Let's face it, people love to talk about themselves and tell their stories. If you listen to them, they will treat you more positively.

To become an interesting person, you need to be interested. In other words, you should ask relevant and timely questions (without interrupting) and be present to listen to their answers.

You'll be amazed at how much this one thing can affect how other people see you.

Important Details

The above methods work. But to achieve maximum results, remember a few warnings:

1. Relationships with friends need to be protected. It's rare to meet someone with the same interests and views.
2. Don't laugh at your interlocutor. Laugh with him or at yourself.
3. Don't forget that you don't always have to have fun and have fun. Sometimes friends need support and compassion. Manifest them.
4. Be polite and helpful.
5. Jokes must be appropriate. It is important that they do not harm anyone: neither the interlocutor, nor yourself.

The last warning is this: don't force people to think you're an interesting person. Otherwise, your seemingly good intentions will play a cruel joke against you.

Know when you might be boring

If you find yourself talking to others a lot but still think you're boring (or have been told you are), you may be bad at reading signs.

Perhaps the topic started out interesting enough, but since then you have come to dominate the conversation and are working on your point of view. Or maybe you brought up a topic that others aren't very interested in.

Part of being a good communicator is knowing when to change tactics and move onto safer, more pleasant ground for everyone involved.

Some signs of boredom include a blank stare, a yawning mouth, a distraction, or a hesitant nod and agreement like "uh-huh."

Stage 2. Expanding your social circle

As strange as it may sound, to become more sociable, you need to communicate more. There are a few simple techniques that can move you in this direction.

Change your routine habits

Visit different stores, take new routes to work, dine in different cafes. Even during working hours, when going to the toilet, you can go up to another floor or go to the opposite end of the corridor. Every day you will see new faces, and this is a great opportunity for dating and communication.

Use social networks

Many people underestimate social networks, not realizing how often virtual communication leads to very promising real acquaintances. The main thing is not to be shy about inviting people to meetings, you can even offer to meet in a small group (if it is a group associated with common interests).

Don't mince your words

Often we limit ourselves to a simple “Please!” when we helped a colleague, or “Thank you!” when we received help. But it’s much better to say “Please! I’m sure you would help me too!” or “Thank you! And please contact me if you need help!” Phrases like these break through barriers and bring people together.

Combine business with pleasure

An interesting and exciting activity may well serve as a catalyst for new friendships. You can sign up for courses or trainings where there will be people with the same interests. Joint activities are an excellent opportunity to meet new people and start communicating. There are also special interest clubs that anyone can join, for example, there is a club for those who like to play “Mafia” in almost every city.

Invite and accept invitations

Like in the movie “Always Say Yes!” Do not refuse invitations when you are invited somewhere, and also try to invite someone yourself. This is a great way to become more sociable without creating an uncomfortable environment for yourself. You can choose how you spend your time. At best, it will be a pleasant date or a friendly conversation, at worst, it will simply be a valuable communication experience.

Don't be afraid to hear "No"

We are designed in such a way that every “No!” burns us. Therefore, adults experience panic fear of rejection and miss a lot of opportunities in life. But you don’t have to be afraid of the word “no.” Start breaking your usual behavior patterns. When you see a cute stranger (or stranger) at a bus stop, don’t hesitate to start talking. Even if the acquaintance does not work out, you will not lose anything, but will only gain valuable experience.

In conclusion, let's discuss such a simple, but at the same time such a complex question:

Be positive to become an interesting person

Following on from the previous point, it is worth bringing a positive attitude into your relationships with other people.

If they walk away feeling energized because you were upbeat and optimistic in what you said and the way you said it, they will see you in a better light.

It doesn't always matter what you say, because "interesting," as we mentioned, is difficult to define precisely.

Simply being positive can make you seem like a more interesting person. Someone that other people want to be around.

• How a positive attitude can change your life

Where do communication problems come from?

Communication skills are developed throughout a person’s life, and there are several main factors that are decisive. Let's look at the most important ones.

1. Features of education. Every family has its own ideals, and often parents deliberately instill in their child traits that are not conducive to great success in life. They are proud that their child grows up modest and non-conflict , studies well, obeys parents and teachers. Unfortunately, such peculiarities of upbringing create certain difficulties for a person in adult life.

In addition, the child’s model of social behavior is completely formed by the parent’s example. If a family leads a relatively secluded lifestyle and rarely invites guests, the child simply will not learn to communicate, and in the future will experience certain difficulties because of this.

1. Negative communication experience
   . Children are very sociable and often face negative reactions to this. Parents ask them to be quiet, peers start making fun of them, teachers at school shut their mouths. The consequences of such an experience are quite obvious.
2. Lack of erudition
   . If a person has few topics of conversation available, becoming more sociable will not be easy. Therefore, it is important to constantly improve your erudition, read a lot, and take an interest in current events and news.
3. Character traits
   .
   There are several character types, and the level of sociability is one of their main differences. Thus, phlegmatic people are usually less talkative than choleric people. But if we talk specifically about sociability, it is more convenient to divide into introverts and extroverts. For close friends, introverts are usually open and interesting conversationalists, but communicating with unfamiliar people is not easy for them. If you are an introvert, then your difficulties with communication are understandable, but completely solvable. Read more about who an introvert is in a separate article.
4. Diffidence
   . This problem prevents self-realization in all areas of life. It is difficult for an insecure person to find a job, make friends and build romantic relationships. If this factor is present, you should start by increasing self-esteem, otherwise other efforts may be ineffective.

Well, friends, we’ve sorted out the basics, now let’s move on to the main part.

Becoming more social is easy

First of all, you need to understand that sociability is a skill , not a personality trait. And valuable skills need to be developed. This is accessible to anyone, the main thing is to continuously improve in the chosen direction. The whole process will consist of two stages: developing communication skills (i.e. the ability to communicate with people) and expanding your social circle. Without further ado, let's move on to the first stage.

Be open-minded

We all have different opinions and beliefs. This variety is often what makes conversation so interesting.

One thing you must adhere to is that any arguments must remain friendly and good-natured.

Don't let the conversation turn into an argument. Stay open to what the other person is saying.

Don't attack or belittle their views. Don't reject them outright. Try to look at the situation through the other person's eyes and understand why they might think and feel the way they do.

Try to make the discussion challenging but enjoyable, and people will want to argue with you again. Turn conversation into an argument and people won't talk to you.

• 7 ways to become an open-minded person

Self-development

If a person is thinking about how to become an interesting person to others, then there is a high probability that he is not very versatile. This is true? Then you need to start actively working on yourself. In self-development, the main point is to concentrate on your goals and desires, as well as constantly acquiring new knowledge to achieve them.

This process is impossible without self-knowledge, which implies the study of one’s personal characteristics (both physical and mental). It is very important for each person to comprehend himself, and then to establish himself in those areas of life that are most significant to him. And the more there are, the better. Everything is simple here. The more spheres of manifestation of his personality a person has, the wider his horizons will become, the richer his inner world, the richer his knowledge base. Personality is like a painting. The more details it contains, the more interesting it is to study it.

Be authentic

In your quest to be a more interesting person, it can be tempting to pretend to be something you're not. But this is unlikely to make you seem more interesting to the people you want to impress.

In fact, if someone detects even the slightest counterfeit, it tends to push the person away altogether.

Instead, just be yourself. If you want to stand out, stand out. If you want to mingle, mingle.

Changing your style, appearance or behavior to please other people is pointless. Even if it works, they will like the fake you, that is, your mask.

• 8 Signs You're a Genuine Person

Negative character traits

Anyone who wants to become an interesting person must eliminate unpleasant character traits :

• Talkativeness . It should not be confused with sociability. A sociable person happily carries on a conversation, but at the same time his words are always informative and interesting. A chatterbox, on the other hand, starts a conversation for the sake of conversation, gets into someone else’s dialogue, and the topics he raises are uninteresting or have long been boring to everyone;
• Boring . A person’s penchant for moralizing and constant nagging only causes irritation;
• Flattery . You need to praise others only on purpose and when necessary, otherwise the interlocutor will probably feel pretense and a desire to please.

Have goals if you want to become an interesting person

Goals help move us forward in life. They help us achieve many things. Goals can also be interesting to discuss.

Other people may relate to your aspirations even if they don't share them. They are connected with your desire and enthusiasm to do something, to become better, to grow.

Having a few interesting goals can certainly make you a more interesting person.

Just remember the previous point about authenticity and only set goals that you really want to achieve.

Positive

Cheerful people always make people feel good about themselves. This must be remembered if a person is interested in how to become an interesting person. With a good sense of humor, you definitely won’t have to go to hell. After all, this is a valuable human ability to find something comical in almost every situation.

Plus, it is the ability to joke (and at the right moment) that makes a person the soul of the company. Such people are cheerful and funny, they do not hesitate to appear funny, and it is also not difficult for them to defuse the situation with an appropriate anecdote or witticism.

How to develop this skill in yourself? You need to constantly practice, learn from famous comedians, joke at yourself and laugh at problems. And don’t stress too much. Usually only in a relaxed state does an appropriate joke come to mind. If a person sits in tension and actively thinks about what to say so witty, it usually doesn’t turn out very well.

Consume interesting things

If you want to add interesting comments to the conversation, study more interesting source material. To do this, you should try to use a wide range of interesting media.

Study more facts, for example on qil.ru, watch documentaries, read books, follow interesting news, listen to podcasts - all this can give you the knowledge necessary to raise important and interesting issues in any conversation.

• 10 interesting facts that will make you feel smarter
• 20 ways to become cultured and learn to appreciate beauty

Obstacles to conversation

Shyness

One of the most difficult problems on the way to communication. Shy people close themselves off from others. Why? Perhaps they were brought up in families in which they did not particularly communicate with each other, but, on the contrary, were separated from others.

Diffidence

Many people may spend years feeling afraid of looking stupid or being criticized. Therefore, they find it much easier to avoid talking to others.

Inferiority complex

This is the case when a person does not mind communicating, but considers himself an “incapable loser,” so he prefers to suffer in silence.
There is another side to the coin: many people feel free to communicate, but when someone else is speaking, they tend to interrupt, thereby depriving their interlocutors of the joy of intimate communication.

How to overcome these difficulties and learn to talk with others in an interesting and warm way?

Ask open questions

Avoid closed questions that can be answered with a “yes” or “no.” Closed questions do not encourage the development of dialogue. You will again have to painfully figure out what else to ask so as not to remain silent.

Ask open-ended questions. Typically open questions begin with:

• How,
• What,
• How,
• Who,
• Where.

But try to avoid questions that begin with the question words “Why” and “Why,” because the person may feel like they are being interrogated and forced to justify their words or actions.

No idle talk

People around you always notice if a person’s speech contains filler words, jargon, and inappropriate complex and pompous expressions. All these additions are not at all a sign of intelligence - on the contrary, they indicate bad taste. Fortunately, there are exercises that can make your speech clearer and more beautiful. The simplest and most enjoyable method is reading classical literature.

This recommendation also applies to correspondence on the Internet - when talking with a virtual interlocutor, you should also follow logical, succinct and beautiful speech without filler words.