How people manipulate others in the process of communication - techniques and methods

Definition of the concept

Manipulation is a skillfully executed hidden form of psychological influence, which is designed to lead another person to desire to do something that is not part of his plans. What does it mean to manipulate a person? Receive some personal benefit from the chosen “victim”.

Planning

People who need something serious from their opponent build entire plans, by following which they will be able to achieve what they want. This usually takes a lot of time, since there is something significant at stake that you can’t just get.

This occurs in the sphere of personal relationships. So, for example, a greedy girl, who most of all in her life dreams of a carefree but rich life, was lucky enough to meet a wealthy man. With her constant declarations of love and fidelity, she binds the “victim” to herself more and more strongly. True, such people are not stupid, and they will have to do things to prove their “serious and sincere intentions.” But in the end, by cunning it is possible to achieve the desired. The manipulated person is deprived of willpower. And the “organizer” of the scam gets the opportunity to control it.

Types of manipulations in communication

In psychology, there are two types of manipulations:

• linguistic, or communication, through which the impact on the psyche occurs through speech, during a conversation, conversation;
• behavioral, when psychological influence is carried out in the course of some actions. The most striking example of such manipulations in communication is often in personal relationships: the wife packs her suitcase to return to her parents, and achieves her goal by waiting for the desired behavior from her husband.

Business and work

This is the area in which manipulative communication occurs most often. And it is completely common. The leader does not influence his subordinates by force - he controls them psychologically, creating in them the illusion of freedom and independence.

Whatever the goals of communication of this type, manipulation is always built according to one scheme or another. An excellent model was created by American psychotherapist Eric Berne. He created an interesting diagram with three ego positions. They are conventionally designated by scientists as “Parent” (P), “Adult” (C) and “Child” (D). How does the scheme work? Can be understood with an example.

Let's say a meeting is organized at a company. And the manager is also required to go there, as he was informed about. But he just doesn’t want to. The position of the “Parent” is: “I have to go - it’s my responsibility. And an example must be set for subordinates.” At the same time, “Adult” assures: “Meetings are a waste of time. My desk here is full of reports.” And the “Child”’s position is: “If I don’t go, the boss will be very angry.” As a result, the following decision is made: the manager goes to the meeting, but takes the papers with him so that he can sit further away and work on the spot. It turns out to be a reasonable compromise.

This simple diagram is an auxiliary tool for transactional analysis of manipulations. There is a slight psychological struggle and a question of choice, as well as the distribution of positions.

What types of people are most susceptible to manipulation?

This list is quite extensive. So, these include:

• altruists - too fair, honest, sensitive;
• impressionable, capable of easily succumbing to the charm of strangers;
• trusting – not assuming dishonesty in others;
• greedy;
• dependent - individuals who need someone else's love and are therefore gullible;
• impulsive – making hasty decisions without consulting others;
• materialistic – those who want to get rich quickly;
• naive - do not believe that dishonest people live in the world;
• immature – trusting advertising “enticements” too much;
• lonely - capable of falling for any opportunity for human communication;
• elderly – rarely see advertising campaigns and presentations as fraud;
• narcissists are easily manipulated through flattery;
• those prone to masochism lack self-esteem, but have subconscious fear;
• thrifty ones cannot refuse a deal, even knowing why the offer is so cheap.

On a note! Other particularly vulnerable groups are also easily subject to psychological manipulation: children, adolescents and young people a little older than them, who do not yet have life experience, as well as the skills to resist and counteract manipulation.

mass media

Above, family, everyday and professional communication of the manipulative type was briefly discussed. Now you can turn to the media. The press is the fourth estate, and initially this definition was noble. Journalists have always done useful work, informing people about everything that is important. But today there are more and more media outlets that do not hesitate to manipulate society. Which believes them. Some media do this in their own interests, while others turn to individuals for “help” who benefit from this.

If on the most authoritative resource of the country, during the period when presidential elections are planned in this state, they publish voluminous and substantiated information that candidate N is, to put it mildly, unworthy, then there is a high probability that people who trust this media will not support him will vote. When a beautiful advertisement for a certain product appears on a well-known channel, its sales begin to increase. And there are quite a lot of such examples. Not to mention notes, news and articles in which their authors use all the previously mentioned techniques - influencing emotions, rhetorical questions, appealing to the conscience and personal perception of the reader, style of presentation and much more.

How to find out about the psychological impact

There are several ways to determine during communication whether a person is being psychologically influenced.

1. In a general conversation, the interlocutor unobtrusively moves the conversation in the direction that interests him.
2. The interlocutor no, no, and strives to return to the recently discussed topic, i.e. It is important for a person not to divert the conversation away from its goal.
3. If a person tries to avoid the other person's gaze, blinks frequently and generally looks tense, this may also indicate ulterior motives.
4. An inadequate reaction to certain proposals and fussiness can also tell about the psychological impact. The manipulator takes a certain amount of risk, and this can make him nervous.
5. Manipulators, in order to achieve one goal, can use different tactics, even to the point of vigorously sharing thoughts that their interlocutors do not like, and then saying the exact opposite or changing the topic.
6. People with ulterior motives can be recognized by their hypocritical behavior, insincerity, and falsehood.
7. A false personality, as a rule, leaves an unpleasant aftertaste after communicating with her - at the subconscious level.

What else do you need to know?

Manipulative communication and its characteristics are an interesting topic. Briefly, it is worth noting some other signs of hidden influence.

To avoid it, you need to monitor what and how exactly a person says. He may try to “suppress” his opponent with incomprehensible words that have a hypnotizing quality and false authority. When the interlocutor begins to focus on feelings, then you should also suspect a catch. Here it is important to remain impartial and try to understand what exactly is hiding under the veil of a trembling voice and eyes wet with tears.

Many create an artificial background of urgency and sensationalism, which distracts attention and provokes quick and thoughtless actions. This happens often in online trading. Surely many have come across similar advertisements: “Sensation! New weight loss product! Minus 15 kilograms per month! Hurry up to buy the course for only 999 rubles – there are 10 minutes left until the end of the promotion!” It would seem that the 21st century is here, everyone should already know how it works, but still a significant segment of people “buys” into such techniques.

Crushing also takes place. It is widespread today. And many have encountered it. Here's an example: a person published an advertisement on the World Wide Web that he was looking for a job. He receives an offer from a certain cosmetics company, which explains everything very beautifully: they offer very big money, and he only has to work 2-3 hours a day, and vacations at resorts, and official registration, and gifts from the company. The person agrees, begins to contact the “employer,” registers, and then it turns out that he will need to buy the products of this enterprise for a certain amount, and even persuade others to join. Then more and more interesting details emerge, from which it becomes clear that everything is not so profitable. But the man believed his opponent. How could it be otherwise if, in fact, he could not make a choice? And this is just one example.

Manipulation in business relationships

Negotiations in a constructive mode are quite rare. The manipulative negotiator, wanting to achieve the planned benefit, puts pressure on the partner’s psyche. Some of the strategies that this type can use include:

• increased emotionality with deliberate escalation of the situation;
• creating a feeling of guilt using the interlocutor’s previous mistakes;
• negotiating on the verge of outright rudeness; this strategy is called “belittling.”

Nested messages

And the pearl of linguistic influence, what Milton Erickson called his main discovery - nested messages . It’s an extremely simple thing: if you select some words in a message and make a meaningful phrase out of it, then the phrase will go to the unconscious as a command.

We take the phrase: “You are confident in yourself,” and insert it into someone’s monologue. “ Are you now thinking about whether I am confident of success?” Yes I am sure. I swore to myself that I could do this.

You can highlight it by intonation, hand movement, boldness or font type - whatever you like. After all, nested messages are not just a pattern - they are a whole science. Although it is light. It's so easy that you need to practice a little. But it works.

You come up with a command and insert it into the text. It can be a metaphor or a story. Well, or somewhere else. You can even just take a newspaper article and practice marking it up so that you get what you need.

- Do you like me. - I want to tell you one thing. I know you like France, tell me about it.

Please note that the command phrase may not be too consistent - here instead of “like” it is put “like” - the unconscious will normally perceive this text.

Manipulations in interpersonal communication

The behavior of every person is influenced by public opinion.

The manipulator builds intrigues in relation to the object of influence, using his strength and playing on his weaknesses. Moreover, the interlocutor is unaware of what is happening, believing that everything is decided by himself. The manipulator provides distorted information and then presents it to the victim in this form.

The psychology of manipulation also concerns social manipulation. Managing public opinion, in other words, manipulating public consciousness, has become easier with the help of the media.

The following mechanisms are visible here:

1. Disabling rational perception and critical thinking.
2. Causing fear in readers/viewers/listeners with a message about a threat, often an imaginary one.
3. An explanation of how you can get out of the current situation.

Note! Propaganda acts on human feelings in the same way as a “private” manipulator, using stereotypes, attitudes and instincts, presenting information in doses and in a certain sequence.

Life

We can observe the features of manipulative communication in everyday life. Surely, at least once they tried to convince everyone of something, citing statements by famous people or information from authoritative sources. This can be found everywhere. The calculation is this: a person, having heard a famous name, will believe what was said and act as his opponent wants.

Some do not neglect other techniques. For example, focus on loyalty and devotion. These are the most common phrases like “You love me!” or “You’re my best friend.” But they are the ones that are most widespread. But most often the emphasis is placed a little differently, like: “You don’t love me!” or “It turns out that you are not my friend at all.” The pressure is already felt here. A person, having heard this, becomes indignant that a loved one doubts him, and seeks to prove the opposite by action. Which is what the opponent expects from him.

Many manipulative communication technologies involve demonstrating to a person the benefits that he can get if he does something. This occurs both in everyday life and in advertising. But the most striking example is political agitation.

Pressure on pity is another cunning technique. People who want this or that task done for them resort to it.

And the last method that can be noted is force and threats. A striking example is the collectors from the relevant agencies, who explain to people in extremely clear and simple language what consequences they can expect in the near future if they do not pay off their debts.

Is it good or bad to be a manipulator?

To answer this question, it is worth comparing a manipulator and a self-sufficient person.

• If the latter’s inner world is full and rich, which helps a person maintain personal well-being and have a positive attitude towards the world around him, then the manipulator feels the emptiness and tries to fill it by appropriating other people’s resources.
• A self-sufficient person tends to constantly develop and change positively. It is easier for a manipulator to remain as he is, interested only in obtaining material benefits.
• A normal person is responsible for his thoughts and actions, while the “opponent” tries to avoid responsibility.
• A self-sufficient person truly enjoys doing his own thing. The manipulator’s activities are guided by coercion, which serves to replenish the deficits of his inner world.
• A mature person’s life is filled with a lot of values: friendship, health, love, family and much more, the absence of which suffers from the manipulator’s inner world.
• A self-sufficient person is characterized by honesty and sincerity, and interest in other people. Loneliness is not inherent in him. A manipulator who does not trust others is capable of only superficial communication, and he is lonely even among a crowd.

It is possible that these brief comparisons will help you understand whether it is good or bad to be a manipulator.

Taking it out of context

Another method that is identical to the one mentioned above. How to recognize that a manipulative level of communication has reached? Very easy and simple. If the opponent becomes a nightingale and talks only about mountains of gold. This is still the same area of ​​work and business communication.

What does the manipulator do? It takes the whole point out of the real context. Leaving only what might arouse the interest of his opponent. This is how he manages to drive a person’s thought into a narrow corridor.

An example is currency trading. This is a real way to make money, but not for everyone and not everywhere. Unenlightened people don’t really delve into this, so when they receive an offer from a supposedly authoritative and respectable person who assures him that he has eaten the dog in this matter, they believe. And the real manipulative business communication begins. Which develops into something more. Then, as soon as a person becomes a victim, his “authoritative” opponent begins to manipulate his actions: he tells him where to invest money and how much, how to place a bet and what to follow. As a result, the victim comes to the realization that this is pure fraud. It just happens too late.

How to learn to manipulate people in your favor

But if someone still wants to comprehend the art of manipulating people, then they should pay attention to the following recommendations:

• It is necessary first of all to study the intended object of manipulation in order to choose the right techniques.
• Manipulation through emotions was discussed above. You just need to identify the one in the victim that will make her dance to the manipulator’s tune.
• A more complex, but also more reliable way for literally everyone is to use the technique of manipulation at the level of the mind. It consists of introducing into the consciousness of the object information that is correct, from the point of view of the manipulator, and which does not require proof.

In order not to succumb to the tricks of manipulators, you need to find a way to resist them. In psychology, it is believed that this will be helped by self-confidence, acquiring new knowledge, and the ability to communicate, without becoming dependent on the interlocutors.

Family

This is another area where manipulation is common. The “Child in the Family” technique is often used by lazy husbands. Did your wife tell you to go to the store? He won't buy what he needed. Then the wife will go to the supermarket herself, so that she doesn’t have to get on her nerves and go shopping again. Of course, not all men are so vile. And you can easily find out that a woman is married to just such a “frame”. When naming the number of children, she will include her husband in it.

A technique called “Offended” also takes place in such an area as manipulative communication. Examples are numerous. One of the spouses, feeling that his other half will soon turn to him with a request to do something that he does not want to do, suddenly becomes offended. Who would approach an upset person to ask for something?

In general, the role of communication was initially positive. Only people ruin everything. With your manipulations. Many people get carried away by them, and then wonder why their relationship collapses. Here, for example, is another technique called “If you weren’t there.” Both husbands and wives actively use it. In order to make the partner feel guilty and begin to control him. “Why did I marry you? Look how they looked after me, and there were even businessmen! And I wasted my youth on you,” are such phrases rare? No. Maybe it will be possible to manipulate her once, but abuse will lead to divorce.