What is the danger of teenage depression and how to prevent it?

Anxiety is a negative mood with feelings of restlessness, tension and fear. In moderation, such emotions are useful: they help mobilize strength and find a way out of extreme situations. But there must be a reason for concern and normally it lasts for a limited period of time.

If a person constantly experiences feelings of anxiety and worry for no reason, this may indicate the presence of a mental disorder. In the absence of help, constant stress wears out the nervous system and the body as a whole, which leads to a breakdown of adaptation mechanisms and the development of chronic diseases.

If you notice that you cannot relax for a long time, then you should think about visiting a specialist.

In pathological cases, a state of anxiety and restlessness for no reason is manifested by both mental and physical symptoms.

Mental symptoms:

• constant feeling of fear and excitement for no reason,
• poor concentration and attention,
• sleep disorders,
• emotional lability, irritability, tearfulness,
• inability to relax and fully engage in daily activities or communication,
• need to reassure other people that everything is okay. At the same time, words of support do not bring relief.

Physical symptoms:

• rapid breathing and heart rate,
• headaches, abdominal and heart pain,
• increased sweating,
• eating disorders: increased appetite or loss of appetite,
• weakness,
• trembling, chills,
• stool disorders: frequent urge, constipation,
• feeling of lack of air,
• nausea,
• muscle spasms and pain.

Unreasonable anxiety and restlessness intensify or subside from time to time. Exacerbations often accompany stress: conflicts, important events, illnesses. Normally, a person quickly recovers after the situation is resolved, but when upset, negative emotions do not go away.

The intensity of anxiety varies from mild to severe. The extreme is panic. If you ignore an anxious state for a long time without a reason, then panic attacks may join it. They strike unexpectedly and sometimes without a good enough reason, but after this episode the person begins to avoid situations similar to the one in which this happened: public transport, an elevator, or just a crowd of people. This greatly reduces quality of life and can lead to social withdrawal.

Causes of unreasonable anxiety and worry

The onset of anxiety disorder is influenced by heredity. It has been discovered that certain brain structures and features of biological processes play an important role in the occurrence of fear and anxiety. Personality characteristics, physical health problems, lifestyle and various types of addictions also matter. Sometimes causeless anxiety and worry have no reason. Negative feelings usually have a trigger—an event or thought that triggers an anxious response. However, most people are unaware of their triggers and believe their emotions are unfounded. In this case, only a specialist will help you understand why anxiety occurs for no reason.

There are a number of diseases whose symptoms include constant anxiety. With unreasonable fear and anxiety, the reasons may be as follows:

• Generalized anxiety disorder: persistent nervousness and worry about small things that are usually visible to others and last for 6 months or more. Begins in adolescence and intensifies with age.
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder: obsessive thoughts and fears that are accompanied by compulsive actions that do not bring relief. There is obsessive-compulsive neurosis - a person is indomitably haunted by memories that reproduce a traumatic situation.
• Phobias: irrational fear of any, even mundane, things. Accompanied by uncontrollable panic and physical manifestations.
• A panic attack is a painful and sudden attack of panic, which is accompanied by a fear of death and vivid somatic symptoms. Regular occurrence of panic attacks means the development of panic disorder.
• Post-traumatic stress disorder: occurs after a severe traumatic situation and is accompanied by high levels of anxiety, avoidance and flashbacks.

These are the most common examples, but pathological anxiety can be a symptom of other disorders or a consequence of unsuccessful management of stress. If you want to understand why you feel anxious for no reason, you should consult a doctor. Without finding out the main factor and working on it, it is impossible to restore health and mental balance.

Norm or pathology

You are probably interested to know how other parents behave, whether they yell at their children. We will help you find the answer.

In 2021, psychologists conducted a survey on the streets of Moscow among parents and people who witnessed the screaming scene. Parents were asked whether it is acceptable to yell at a child. And the witnesses were asked to characterize such scenes.

What results did the researchers ultimately get:

• 52% of parents said that it is wrong to yell at a child, but 37% of this group noted that they themselves sometimes lose their temper. They justified their behavior by the child's uncontrollability, his whims and by showing the parents in a bad light.
• 27% of parents believe that shouting and punishment are the most effective method of education, and one cannot do without it.
• 21% do not accept this format of communication with a child and never raise their voice.
• 73% of observers believe that such parental behavior is unacceptable.
• 15% are indifferent to the problem.
• 12% believe that parents do everything right; you can’t raise children without shouting and punishment.

As you can see, you are not alone in your problem. But this does not mean that you can calm down and continue parenting with screams. We need to understand the reasons for this behavior.

Why do parents get angry at their children?

• powerlessness and despair;
• psychophysiological exhaustion;
• hatred of the child, rage, regret about his birth;
• an impossible amount of demands, responsibilities (the feeling that you are being torn apart);
• inflated expectations and demands on the child;
• personal triggers and trauma (for example, a breakdown after being interrupted or ignored);
• fear of losing control of the situation;
• fears, increased anxiety against the background of weak self-regulation (screams after the child was almost injured or received some kind of injury);
• disappointment in oneself, the discrepancy between reality and ideals and ideas about parenthood.

Psychologists, educators, sociologists and pediatricians unanimously argue that this style of parenting has a negative impact on the psychophysiological health and development of the child. This means that the problem needs to be dealt with.

What to do if you have causeless anxiety and worry

It's hard to live in constant stress. If you are experiencing causeless anxiety and fear, the following list will tell you what to do:

1. Talk to someone you trust. This could be a relative, a close friend, a psychotherapist or a helpline employee. People are social creatures, so communication is a good way to relieve internal stress.
2. Find a way to calm down quickly. There is not always someone nearby with whom you can share. Therefore, it is important to find a suitable method that will help you relax: breathing techniques, soothing music, aromatherapy, self-massage and more. If you cannot independently choose a technique that quickly helps with anxiety for no reason, a specialist will tell you what to do.
3. Add physical activity to your life. It is a natural and effective remedy for anxiety. Moderate exercise relieves tension, reduces stress hormones and strengthens the nervous system. Get at least 30 minutes of exercise every day.
4. Normalization of lifestyle. Get enough sleep, eat well, give up bad habits. This stabilizes physical performance and neurotransmitter levels, which helps maintain emotional balance.
5. Start keeping a journal. Taking notes can help you identify patterns of anxiety flare-ups, understand the causes, and spot early signs of them. Also, thanks to this, you will begin to focus more on positive events that you may not have noticed before.

When worried for no reason, everyone who regularly encounters this wants to know what to do. There is no universal method, but the 5 steps listed above are recommended for every person with increased anxiety. This may be enough to alleviate symptoms. But if self-help techniques do not give the desired effect, then if you regularly experience anxiety for no reason, you need to find out what to do from a specialist.

Rivers of pain. Why do you want to cry for no reason?

When we cry at the end of the movie "Hachiko" or over a cutting board with onions, it seems quite logical. But sometimes tears fall by themselves, for no particular reason. What to do if you cannot restrain your emotions and are gradually turning into a crybaby, says psychologist Anna Khnykina .

Natalya Kozhina, AiF.ru: Are there tears without a reason or is there always a reason?

Anna Khnykina : In physiological reactions, and tears are one of them, nothing happens for nothing. A person has a type of mental defense called rationalization, this is when we explain everything to ourselves. He protects us from worries and pain. The body does not have such a mechanism, it does not explain anything and lives a separate life from our rationalization, does not obey it. And, since any physiological reaction has its own internal stimulus, tears do not just appear. There is always a reason that provokes them, but sometimes we don’t read it.

And we will cure you. 20 signs that it’s time for you to see a psychotherapist Read more

- Why don’t we read it?

“This is where our unconscious comes into play, which puts up a kind of block. Tears, in most cases, are a reaction to self-pity, and since it hurts, the brain stands guard and protects us from this, it tries to convince us that everything is normal.

Question answer

What are the causes of severe lacrimation?
— How to understand what exactly provokes tears?
— There is one very good question that you need to ask yourself more often: how do I feel now? Oddly enough, finding the answer to this is quite difficult. Often, getting to the root of why you're crying requires peeling back several layers of your own defenses: avoidance, rationalization, denial, etc. In most cases, shame also prevents getting to the bottom of things.

— Is a person ashamed to admit to himself that he has a problem?

- Yes. A problem that causes self-pity, and then tears, can be shrouded in mystery, fear, prohibition, etc. Only if you are honest with yourself and are not afraid of yourself can you get to the bottom of it.

Actually, what we are talking about relates to a problem called “keeping face.” Many of us try not to show our real feelings, we suppress emotions, we hide our true selves.

- Sometimes you need to suppress emotions, isn’t it?

- Of course, but we shouldn’t get so carried away by this that we hide ourselves from ourselves. When we go to work and “wear a uniform” there, that’s one thing. Masks are also sometimes needed in order not to let the team down and to complete some task. The main thing is not to overdo it. You should not lose your sense of reality and be yourself. You have to be able to step out of your role in time.

Question answer

How to learn to hold back tears?
“There are people who are so successful at suppressing emotions that they never cry.
This is fine? - There is nothing to be proud of here. Overall this is an inappropriate response. Yes, you can hold back at a certain moment when you want to impress or not scare children with your tears, but you shouldn’t do this all the time. We are all living people. Isn’t anyone ashamed when blood flows from a cut? Why should you be ashamed of tears?

Even if at some point you restrained yourself, in a healthy situation the person will then cry or be sad when the moment is right for this. I assure you that every “strangled” tear collects in a big lump. And if this lasts for years, it then results in hysteria with seizures. The longer you restrain yourself and do not give vent to emotions and tears, the stronger this attack will be.

“The opposite situation happens, when people cry constantly. Is there any standard by which you can understand that you cry too often?

- This is the same as if there was a norm for laughter: how many times a day is it normal to laugh? Nobody will answer this question. There is no such norm.

A mature person is one who, being in contact with reality, reacts adequately to it. As we grow up, we learn to manage our feelings, we understand where we need to restrain ourselves and where we can give free rein to our emotions, i.e. We behave appropriately to the situation. Of course, crying about everything in public is not exactly a mature story. This is normal at three years old. You know when a mother says to her son: “You can eat candy only after lunch.” And he sobs in response and cannot accept this situation. This is not a normal reaction for an adult. Tears non-stop can be considered an adequate reaction only when we are talking about deep mental trauma, for example, if a person has lost something. Normally, we can cry every time it is an appropriate response to the situation.

Conscience is gnawing! What to do with guilt? More details

— You were pushed into the subway, and you cried. Is this an appropriate reaction?

“Most of us are unlikely to cry over such a situation.” But for some, what is happening may be the so-called “last straw.” We do not know what is hidden inside each of us, what has happened in life at the moment. Yes, for someone, a seemingly insignificant irritant can cause a storm inside, but if we find the origins of this storm, then everything will fall into place.

Let me note once again that the problem itself arises for a person at the moment when he does not want to cry, but the tears flow themselves. In this regard, young children usually say: “I don’t want to, but they do it themselves.” If there is nothing like that in your life, then everything is fine.

Article on the topic

Disappointed.
How to overcome job dissatisfaction - What can still provoke tears - only self-pity?
What about stress, dissatisfaction with life, etc.? - Look, strong self-pity arises as a result of fear of an existential threat. A person is afraid that he will not be there or that he will not be accepted for who he is. This fear itself can arise from shame. Shame is a reaction to the message “you are not needed, you are not suitable.” As a result, whether we are talking about stress or dissatisfaction with life, their roots lie in the fact that you chronically cannot cope with something, worry about your helplessness or inadequacy. And this is the shame that I spoke about.

Another important point: sometimes tearfulness is provoked by hormonal imbalances, which increase the feeling of helplessness. In this situation, of course, you need to consult an endocrinologist.

— Is it possible to cope with the desire to cry constantly on your own?

- Naturally, if you find the true reasons for your tears and try to solve the problems that concern you. But, in a situation when you understand that you are not able to conduct such an honest analysis and you need help, you need to ask the same psychologist.

Why can't you yell at children?

Screaming at its core is a manifestation of aggression. When aggression comes from the dearest and closest people, the child experiences it very hard.

If a child grows up in an atmosphere of constant screaming, scandals and parental nervous breakdowns, he suffers from:

Personal development

The child gradually becomes withdrawn, anxious, unsure of himself, and often cries. Mental development is inhibited, it becomes difficult for him to perceive and remember new information. He is always in a shell, as it were, protecting him from the outside world. The child begins to be afraid of situations of failure (answers at the board, competitions, public speaking) and new acquaintances.

As adults, such people seek constant support and approval for their actions; it is difficult for them to change jobs or meet new people, because... they subconsciously expect failure and aggression from others.

Social development

The child does not develop basic trust in the world. If the closest and most beloved person, like mom or dad, offends, then anyone can offend. The child stops trusting others and has problems building friendships and love relationships.

A child whose parents constantly raised their voices will continue to behave in the same way in their family with their children.

Child-parent relationships

Trust and mutual understanding leave the relationship. The child stops sharing his problems for fear of causing a negative reaction from his parents. Thus, mom and dad turn from close people into strangers.

What to do

Analyze the survey results and your feelings. Don't you think the reason lies in the parents:

• A child’s disobedience and whims are the result of a misunderstanding of his requests or suppression of him as an individual.
• Experiences due to the fact that the child is shamed, does not show in the best light - the result of the parent’s dependence on other people’s opinions or the creation of inflated demands for the child.

I say this not to increase the feeling of guilt, but to make you understand that you need to work on yourself.

Parents' cries are a cry for help, an admission of their own powerlessness, a pedagogical failure. Or maybe something outside is bothering you (work, relationship with your partner), but you take your anger out on your child. Or this is how your complexes come out, your inability to control emotions. Or you found yourself hostage to a life scenario imposed on you by your parents.

So what to do:

1. Learn to distinguish guilt from responsibility. Guilt is a negative assessment, attitude towards the situation. Responsibility is an acknowledgment of a fact, an understanding of one’s involvement in what happened. Feelings of guilt are destructive; admitting responsibility is necessary and beneficial.
2. Determine the true cause of the breakdown. Admit to yourself what feelings you experience other than anger. Think about how to fix it, how to eliminate the stress factor.
3. Study age norms and developmental characteristics of children. The irritation will subside if you understand and accept your child. And if individual characteristics are more difficult to understand, then there are general principles of development that are spelled out in any textbook or popular literature on psychology. For example, children 3-4 years old have poor time orientation, they cannot think abstractly, and therefore have no idea how long an hour lasts or how quickly 15 minutes will pass. And at the moment of crisis of three years, children need freedom, respect for their personality, and encouragement of independence.
4. Get out of “imprisonment”, arrange your personal and social life. Social isolation, the inability to share care of a child with someone else, forces one to see the cause of personal trouble in the child.
5. Restore your body's resources. Screaming is a primitive defensive reaction in response to fatigue, overstrain, overwork, lack of sleep, malnutrition, depression, chronic diseases, fatigue from life, etc.
6. Get rid of idealism and perfectionism. Don't try to be the best, the perfect parent, or raise the perfect child according to an invented model. Be yourself and let your child be himself.

Be prepared for disruptions. You have to change habits, break behavioral patterns and build new ones. This will take several months. In case of breakdowns and disappointment in yourself, the return of feelings of guilt, re-read the first point of the recommendations. Again, highlight the facts and build a new plan of action.

How to punish correctly

Education without punishment is truly impossible, but you need to choose pedagogically correct methods and maintain a balance of censure and praise.

How to properly punish children:

1. Express your dissatisfaction in a calm voice, evaluate the child’s actions, not the personality.
2. Clearly define the boundaries of punishment, and it is better to do this in advance. Adhere to a two-level punishment system: first a warning, an explanation of the situation and a detailed explanation of the future punishment, then the punishment itself. If you haven’t already explained that it’s wrong to steal other children’s toys, then you shouldn’t punish your child for it. Explain, and next time punish. The child must know in advance what he is sacrificing if he deliberately violates your requirements. And he must understand why he is being punished. Pay attention to the details, the exact timing and duration of the punishment.
3. Explain in detail your dissatisfaction with why the child’s action is regarded as bad. Try to understand the child’s position, listen to his opinion, the reason for the action.
4. Don't make your child feel guilty, but teach him responsibility. To do this, analyze each situation yourself and determine the child’s involvement.
5. Adhere to a common educational position with your husband and other relatives. Always keep your word, don’t promise something you can’t do (“I’ll kill you for this”). Avoid double standards, for example, if you forbid your child to yell at you and other people, then you yourself do not have the right to yell at him or anyone else.
6. Say that you hate to punish your child, but you are forced to do it because his behavior is contrary to family norms. Explain what behavior would suit you. Talk to your child and explain why this should not be done.
7. Do not put the child in a corner - in this position it will not be possible to relax, calm down and comprehend the behavior.
8. Don't let punishment depend on your mood.

You cannot insult, ridicule, beat, publicly punish a child or compare him with other children or with you during his childhood. It is unacceptable to deprive a child of food, but leaving him without dessert or pizza is okay. Other physiological and emotional needs cannot be ignored (“I don’t love you anymore”, “I won’t talk to you”). You cannot threaten, intimidate or humiliate a child.

There should always be more praise in parent-child relationships. We are more willing to express negativity, we are better at noticing someone’s shortcomings and mistakes. Learn to express positive emotions, do not devalue your child’s good behavior.

Treatment

The main therapy should be aimed at eliminating the cause of tearfulness - reducing the intensity of stress, normalizing the woman’s hormonal levels, changing the parenting style. If it is impossible to influence the etiological factor or influencing the cause requires long-term, labor-intensive treatment, symptomatic remedies are used. Thanks to them, tearfulness decreases, the patient becomes more balanced and socially active, and the effectiveness of basic therapy increases. Symptomatic help for tearfulness includes breathing exercises, psychotherapy, medication, and changes in activity patterns.

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Breathing exercises

At the physiological level, crying is manifested by a complex of reactions of the respiratory, cardiovascular and nervous systems. A person is able to control his breathing voluntarily. To stop the beginning attack of crying, it is necessary to eliminate the feeling of spasm in the throat and holding your breath. The easiest way to do this is with breathing exercises, which include slow and deep breathing, deep breaths through the nose with noisy exhalation through the mouth, fast and intense breathing. The most effective method is selected by the patient individually by trial. In women, the diaphragmatic breathing technique gives good results.

Behavioral psychotherapy

Behavioral techniques are aimed at switching attention, changing external activity that supports crying. The simplest exercises are running, purposeful activity, provoking another emotion (anger or joy). While running, a sequence of movements is established, muscles contract rhythmically, breathing intensifies - all these processes prevent crying.

Specially created purposefulness of actions switches attention from sad and sad thoughts to solving the problem. Distraction options: searching for keys in a bag, making a shopping list. It can be difficult to provoke anger or joy on your own, but with training this skill is developed. It is necessary to remember a funny or angry situation and the people who participated in it, and reproduce the images in your thoughts in as much detail as possible.

Transactional analysis

Psychotherapy using the method of transactional analysis is a more complex way of dealing with tearfulness. According to this direction, a person’s personality is represented by three states - Adult, Parent and Child. Tearfulness is most characteristic of the latter, since crying stores the conscious and subconscious experience of childhood. During psychotherapy sessions, the patient is taught to remain in the position of an Adult, analyze situations and make decisions, without allowing emotions to determine behavior. At the same time, attention shifts from experiences of the past and future to the state of “here and now.”

Drug therapy

Medications can be used to combat tearfulness. Their selection is carried out by a psychiatrist or psychotherapist, depending on the combination of symptoms. If tearfulness manifests itself along with anxiety and increased irritability, anxiolytics, sedatives, and herbal sedatives are prescribed. For nervous exhaustion and signs of depression, antidepressants and tranquilizers are used, and for sleep disorders, sleeping pills are used.

Normalization of the daily routine

The basic cause of tearfulness is the instability of the processes of inhibition and excitation in the nervous system, therefore, to maintain emotional balance, it is necessary to adhere to the correct regime. The most important things are adequate sleep of at least 8 hours at night, regular exposure to fresh air, and alternation of mental and physical labor. Patients are advised to make a plan for the day and week, be sure to include walks, hobbies and sports that bring pleasure.