You can communicate and understand each other through words. But sometimes they are not enough. And then, we touch the person to show our concern, good mood or the most tender feelings. Nonverbal methods of communication help in cases where we really want to express something more - intentionally or unconsciously. Then we most often resort to hugs.
We tell you what we learned about hugging and share a classification that will help you understand the feelings of other people and better understand body language. To become a relationship guru, one article will not be enough, so we recommend that you familiarize yourself with the list of useful books
on the topic.
Come on and practice!
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You can communicate and understand each other through words. But sometimes they are not enough. And then, we touch the person to show our concern, good mood or the most tender feelings
How does a girl feel when a guy hugs her?
When a guy hugs a girl, she feels safe. In addition, she appreciates in a man those tactile touches that do not lead to intimacy. She is consoled by the thought that her lover really cares about her. He shows attention and care, without hoping to get her into bed in this way.
Face to face hugs, foreheads touching
At a close distance, we cannot focus our gaze on the face of another person, which is why our attention is focused more “inward” - on intimacy, on spiritual connection and on trying to “feel” the other person. Such contact means a high degree of affection and trust; the person is not afraid to show you his sincere emotions. At the same time, he knows for sure that you will not hide the truth from him.
Such hugs indicate that the partner craves understanding, as he is ready to completely dissolve in you. And your attitude towards him is very important to him.
Eight facts about hugs.
The Internet helps you always stay in touch with loved ones, but it deprives you of the most important thing – tactile sensations. But hugs help stabilize emotional tension, relieve stress, improve mood, and exchange energy with another person. They can also be an excellent prevention of psychosomatic diseases: migraines, nausea, dizziness, high blood pressure. And all this is free, because sincere hugs do not require batteries, are not subject to inflation, and are not taxed.
Science has proven that by hugging someone, we evoke reciprocal feelings, which are considered the best manifestation of humanity and happiness. And also:
Let's become kinder.
During hugging, the body releases the physiological substrate oxytocin with endorphins. The neurohormone oxytocin, which is also called the “tender affection hormone,” calms the nervous and cardiac systems, reduces anxiety, and increases the feeling of satisfaction. Endorphins reduce pain and give a feeling of euphoria. Moreover, they stand out even when we squeeze our beloved cat or dog.
We get sick less.
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According to a study from the University of Pennsylvania, people who receive more hugs and social support are three times less likely to get colds. Doctors compare this effect to a massage: friendly pats on the back and gentle pressure in the solar plexus activate the thymus gland, which is responsible for the maturation of immune cells.
Restoring the nervous system.
At the moment of touch, microscopic receptors - Pacinian corpuscles - are activated under the skin. They instantly respond with a volley of impulses, sending signals to the vagus nerve. The action of the vagus nerve is strongly reminiscent of the “kundalini” energy, which, according to yogis, is directly related to health. So to maintain kundalini energy you need to meditate, chant mantras or hug tightly.
We increase self-esteem.
The psyche reasons: if they hug me, it means that someone needs me, I’m good. The more often a child experienced such sensations in childhood, the better developed his sense of support, security, and confidence in his worth. These sensations last a lifetime: they support self-esteem, reduce fear for confronting life situations.
Take the self-esteem test
Relieving muscle tension.
In scientific terms, when hugging, a galvanic skin reaction occurs, which helps the muscles relax. To put it simply, pleasant bodily contact relaxes muscles, improves blood circulation in soft tissues, and the body feels pleasantly light. Therefore, my mother’s touch helped my broken knee heal quickly and painlessly.
We establish communication.
Many cultures place special emphasis on physical contact. Especially popular are friendly touches, which help convey positive information, hear, understand your partner, and establish non-verbal contact.
We extend the lives of ourselves and our loved ones.
It turns out that the fear of loneliness and social isolation from society is the greatest fear of older people. Sometimes the stress caused by loneliness leads to the early death of even an elderly person. A physical demonstration of affection becomes the very antidepressant that will help older people feel needed. And not for the elderly - just to enjoy communication.
Showing empathy.
When we open our hearts and hands, we increase the level of trust, because at that moment we open up to another person. Sincere hugs are a universal transport that transports attention, empathy, and pity. It expresses care without unnecessary wrapping, without unnecessary words.
A hug is the perfect gift for any occasion that totally pays for itself. It is equally pleasant to receive or give. It has natural sweetness, but without calories, does not require additional contributions, and does not harm the environment.
Take the empathy test
Hugs and pats
The gesture more often hints at warm friendly or even family feelings, where at least one of the participants is always ready to help the other, listen to him or give advice. There is no romance in such hugs, at least not yet.
If you have a love for a person, do not put an end to your relationship. First of all, friendship is a great start to love. Secondly, this is not an uncompromising rule, like all the interpretations listed in the article. It is possible that the person has something more than friendly feelings for you, but he was unable to hug in another way due to awkwardness.
By the way, don’t be alarmed if your boyfriend hugs you goodbye and when you meet him. When your partner doesn't do this as often as you'd like, it's not a cause for concern—it might just not be his love language .
Well, if you don’t have a hug partner at all, then we urge you not to despair. In the end, loneliness also has its advantages, and there are quite a few of them! We dedicated an entire article to this phenomenon, check out the link and don’t be upset: https://invme.com/ru/blogs/content/plusi-i-minusi-odinochestva
And here
we talked about how to find new acquaintances on invme - in the “About yourself” section you can safely indicate “hugs”, you will definitely find like-minded people!
Why do we need hugs?
We melt with love, we shake with hatred, our cheeks burn when we talk to the offender... That is, our body reacts to all emotional reactions, we feel who we are with the help of our body. And each of us strives to create the best living conditions for our body: security, warmth, satisfaction. In order for the body (and the soul too) to feel comfortable, we simply need contact with other people. We want to be hugged by people dear to us, we want to experience their warmth and affection for us.
Body-oriented psychotherapy
There is a large branch of psychology called “body-oriented therapy.” Its founders and successors are confident that most psychological and somatic (bodily) problems can be solved if we allow the body to talk about its problems, because the body “remembers everything”, capturing our feelings, experiences, and negative life experiences. The psychology of the body, experts say, is the shortest road to the unconscious, and therefore to the origins of our problems. By hugging each other, we, without even realizing it, find the surest path to the heart of a person dear to us.
Hugs are pain killers
When we hug each other (naturally, the effect only works with people who are important and dear to us), endorphin is produced in the body - the hormone of happiness and pleasure. Oxytocin is also a calming hormone. After all, with hugs we show a person that you are not alone, I am protecting you. This means we satisfy the most important instinct of survival and safety. In response to this action, pleasure hormones are produced, which have a positive effect on a person’s psychological and physical health.
Hugs teach us to love
If a child is not hugged or touched, he is developmentally delayed, has health problems and does not know how to express his emotions. And this is a direct path to phobias, psychopathy, sociopathy, a tendency to antisocial behavior and pathological inability to live. Therefore, we can say that, thanks to hugs, we not only express our attitude, but also learn to love! If you hug a person who has fallen into depression, it has been proven that their level of cortisol (the stress hormone that makes our body work for wear and tear) decreases, which means that the person feels better.
Face to face hugs
You stand facing each other, your partner's hands are on the back, neck or closer to the waist. At the same time, the distance between the faces is sufficient to maintain eye contact without any problems.
More often, such hugs indicate warm feelings, but sometimes they also indicate that your significant other now needs support and protection, but is probably afraid to tell you about it.
To find out if this is the case, look carefully at your partner's face. Perhaps he is peaceful or obviously happy? Then there is no reason to worry - they want to provide you with warmth and care. But if there is melancholy in the eyes, then the partner himself wants to be supported now. Especially if he doesn’t hug you around the waist, but strokes your back.
To find out if this is the case, look carefully at your partner's face. Perhaps he is peaceful or obviously happy?
Hand movements
Stroking movements indicate serious intentions and sincere feelings, patting movements indicate friendly affection and support. However, a friendly pat in a public place can only indicate a guy’s fear of making his relationship with a woman public; he wants to show that he is still independent and free. Such movements are typical for shy and indecisive guys who doubt a girl’s feelings towards a man.
Holding your beloved tightly in your arms means heartfelt feelings, great love, fear of losing a loved one. Intertwining your fingers while hugging from the back is a silent declaration of love, spiritual and physical intimacy, a complete idyll in relationships.
Our personality has very different manifestations that can be found in ordinary everyday things - from the way a person walks to the way a person speaks. But when it comes to the relationship between two people, nothing can be more eloquent than a hug. Why is this so? These are our inner sensations, a need that has been inherited since infancy. Therefore, how we do it determines what we feel at a given time, and in the end this is a direct link to human relationships and reactions.
Slow dance hug
“Slow dance” is the romance of man. He hugs her and gently places his hands on her waist, and she wraps hers around his neck. This situation is like a reference to school years, first love and first attempts. According to psychologists, this is typical for young people, first love. When we often think about our loved one, and you feel like you have butterflies in your stomach. If this appears in older people, this position means that romance is still alive!
Protector type hug
This hug is completely responsible for the feeling of security. The one who stands behind his partner and hugs him with his arms, as if wrapping him in a warm blanket, plays the role of a protector and gives a feeling of security. Such hugs show that these people trust each other limitlessly.
Scarf hug - arms wrapped around the partner's neck
This hug is a symbol of calm, comfort and support. Placing your hand on your partner's neck proves how much the person loves and cares about you. This situation demonstrates openness and vulnerability, at the same time, this is the most vulnerable place on the body. This is a very warm and intimate gesture.
Stroking type hug
A pat on the back is intended as a sign of friendship and communication. But not for love in the classical sense. If you hug your partner like this, then others will question your relationship as a love relationship; rather, it is a friendship.
Friendly hug
This is a hug of support. A characteristic feature is the laying of a hand on the partner's shoulder. Moreover, this is also a hallmark of recent friendship. It means support, kindness, courage and courage.
Death grip type hug
When you hug this way, you are afraid of losing each other. Perception is an active person who hugs, therefore, is afraid of loss, that the other half will leave and leave him alone.
Flying hugs
Flying hugs! This is when he or she wraps their arms around their partner while your spouse is sitting somewhere higher. The meaning of this gesture is passion and desire. Owning not only your body, but also your soul. According to psychologists, people hug in this way when they most often try to replace the absence of true love.
Hug type bridge
A bridge is a distance. This means hugging the upper body. If so, then there is a lot of disagreement and discomfort in your relationship. You would like to be together, but at the same time you strive to keep your partner at a distance. Neither of you craves contact.
Hug, eye to eye
This hug is a bridge between souls. Because the eyes are the mirror of the soul. And in this regard, this hug is very important for both of you. This is a sign of very deep feelings and inner excitement. Your relationship was, is and will be strong and resilient.
Hug like pickpocketing
In this embrace in his subconscious, a person seeks simplicity and comfort. He shoved his hands into his partner's back pockets. This means that both parties are more relaxed and it is not very difficult for them to have a great relationship. Everything will be very good. This is why you are a perfect match and trust each other.
Similar materials
View of the Kama Sutra
In the oldest work on physical love, they write about touching: “The first caress is the touching of her body with your hand. If a young man puts his hand on the girl’s shoulder that is closer to him, this caress is called approaching. If a young man puts his hand on the girl’s shoulder, which is further from him, this caress is called a declaration of love. If a young man takes a girl by the hand above the elbow, this is a request to stay with him. If he only touches your hand, it’s a request to be more friendly. If a young man puts his hand on the side of a girl that is farther from him, this caress is called the language of intimacy.”
Types of friendly hugs
The hugs of friends and lovers differ significantly in the duration of contact and emotional outburst.
Types of friendly hugs:
- Usually friendly hugs do not last long, without a hint of intimacy. Most often accompanied by small taps on the back or shoulder.
- Often they are characteristic of classmates who have not seen each other for a long time or classmates who were in contact during their student days. Friends usually cross their arms. This speaks of platonic feelings that arose between people.
- When hugging friends, there is contact between the shoulders, but the intimate areas and the area below the waist do not touch. The hips and waist are not in contact with each other.
- The side gesture speaks of friendship. That is, if a friend pulls with one hand. Very often in group photographs you can see such hugs. Such hugs speak of respect and lack of intimacy.
Touch
Why do women hug?
Psychologists say that different sexes have different “goals” in hugs and touches. So, what women like most is that they make you feel loved, give you a feeling of emotional closeness and security. And women also say that hugs heal – both from physical and mental pain; give a feeling of warmth, allow you to share feelings.
Hug from behind
If a man hugs a girl tightly from behind, then at least he is not indifferent to her, and most likely, he is crazy about his companion. After all, such hugs indicate a readiness to protect, support and protect your chosen one. A person thus denotes his role as a patron. By the way, even body language experts agree with this. An even more eloquent gesture is if the young man crosses his arms over the girl’s chest, as if covering her heart.
If a girl hugs a guy, then this is also a sign of the warmest relationship with the young man - do not be afraid to seem weak, because they are ready to understand and support you in difficult times. We wrote about other signs of a girl’s love here.
Hugs i
Hugs are different: friendly, greeting, farewell, family and love. And if with the first ones everything is clear, then with love ones it’s more complicated. This is especially true for the very first, timid touches.
Surprisingly, men are much worse at hugging techniques than women. Apparently, the problem lies in the very essence of the emotional component of men. Very often, namely on the first date, hugging turns into stupid pawing. This is a fiasco. You can immediately run off into the sunset and never appear on the horizon again. Or you can do everything so that the girl herself will stick, like a stuck fish.
Hugs are an integral part of communication. They are able to make you fall in love and irritate, instill a sense of confidence and provide support, comfort and cheer. In general, this is a universal way to say a lot without words.
If a man doesn't hug
It also happens that it’s not the first date, but the man doesn’t want to hug you. What would that mean? We begin to rack our brains and ask our friends’ opinions: “Do you think he might be impotent? Maybe he doesn’t like me as a woman at all?” Let's put aside stupid doubts - if he didn't like you, you would hardly date, right? Most likely, he is simply timid and is not used to being “impudent.” This may be due to the characteristics of his upbringing or his psychological perception of the world.
Do an experiment and touch it “casually.” Most likely, this spark of yours will ignite a big fire that burns in his chest, but he is afraid to admit it to you!
When is hugging inappropriate?
Psychologists urge hugging as often as possible, but not to abuse such practices. For example, do not teach your child to hug strangers. This is contrary to basic safety rules.
In Latin American countries, warm, sincere hugs and kisses are considered part of the daily greeting ritual. But there are cultures in which any physical contact is against the rules of etiquette. If in Russia and most Western countries hugs and handshakes are considered a sign of cordiality, then in China, Japan, and Korea such behavior is unacceptable. If the locals do not make comments about unacceptable behavior, it is because they consider the Westerner to be stupid.
According to statistics, 90-95% of people respond adequately to physical contact. Perhaps they intuitively feel a sincere attitude towards themselves. But for others, this practice makes them uncomfortable. For example, someone was not used to “unauthorized” touching because it was not accepted in his family. Or sees sexual connotations in touching. Situations where personal boundaries are violated can lead to alienation or conflict. So if the office encourages strict adherence to rules, then it is not necessary to hug when meeting colleagues or to cuddle with your boss.
How to hug a girl to make her feel good
A woman’s feelings during physical contact directly depend on the feelings she has for a man. If a girl feels sympathy for a guy, she will enjoy even random touches. Hugs will bring a feeling of comfort and relaxation.
In order for a girl to easily get used to new feelings, she should not push and crush with authority. You need to hug firmly, but sensually. The gesture should be aimed at awakening positive emotions, and not at demonstrating the strength of the hands.
With a powerful but gentle hug, the girl feels not only needed and protected, but also euphoric from intimacy.
For the gesture to be pleasant, the young man needs to monitor his own cleanliness and neatness. After all, when hugging a guy, a girl will instantly smell sweat, stale breath, an unwashed body or dirty clothes.
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