- An unhappy person - who needs it?
- The habit of being unhappy
- Do you owe someone to be unhappy?
- Why are you unhappy?
- What to do in the end?
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Every person is born to be happy. However, every year life becomes more difficult and unfair. It is also surprising that in adult life a man cannot make himself a happy person. When creating a relationship with the woman you love, periods of crises and scandals still occur. Even if a person gets a job he loves, he is unable to earn a decent salary. Why are you unhappy? Have you ever tried to figure this issue out?
The men's magazine masculino.ru claims that more than 90% of men are unhappy. It doesn't matter in what area you are struggling. If you are constantly in a depressed mood and have unpleasant thoughts, then you are unhappy.
An unhappy person - who needs it?
If you ask any person if he knows at least one absolutely happy person, only one in a hundred will answer that he knows such a person. Why are there more and more unhappy people? How do they become like this? Who needs it?
An unhappy person is an individual who is dissatisfied with some area of his existence. Most people are dissatisfied in all areas of their lives except the one area where they truly excel. This could be an excellent housewife without a job, an amazing mother who raised successful children but has no friends, it could be a wonderful worker who does not know the joys of her personal life. Basically, a person succeeds in only one area of his life, but is absolutely unsuccessful in all others.
A person becomes unhappy from childhood. The costs of raising parents lead to them raising absolutely unhappy children. And this is not their fault, because they were once “crippled” in this way by their own parents. What is the lack of upbringing that makes children unhappy? The main criterion is that parents want to see their child obedient. Obedience is the first trait of an unhappy person. Why? If a person listens to others, it means that he does not have his own opinion, his own desires and ideas for planning his life. It is easy to be with an obedient person; he can be manipulated, which means that the manipulator can get all the benefits at the expense of the unhappy person.
Parents want their child to be obedient. They put him before a choice that is unspoken but obvious: “either you listen to us, or we don’t love you.” And this manifests itself in everything. The child is told not to run around, to learn his lessons, not to make noise, to be cultured, etc., sometimes arguing with the words: “I won’t be friends with you,” “I don’t like you like that,” “I don’t need you like that.” ", etc. What is more important for a child? Love and care of parents. So it turns out that from childhood a person learns to be obedient, not to pay attention to his desires, otherwise no one will love him.
An unhappy person is the most teachable individual in the world. When a person does not experience joy, he has time for something else. For example, to search for answers to his questions, to improve the qualifications of his specialty, to study everything that surrounds him. Once a desire to move arises, which is noticeable only when a person has nothing else to do, it means that he becomes the most trainable.
And finally, an unhappy person is the most ideal worker. Most employers value only those employees of their company who are willing to work tirelessly, overtime, with zeal and desire. An unhappy person has no desires, only physical needs remain, which can only be satisfied with money. Where there is money, there is fame, honor, and, perhaps, what a person lacks: love and respect. Therefore, unhappy people are typical workaholics. They work not because they are so interested that they forget about time seven days a week, but because no one is waiting for them or loving them at home.
An unhappy person is a robot of the modern world. After all, a happy person cannot be forced to do anything, he cannot be manipulated, he does not accept other views that contradict his worldview, he will not stay up late, because family and loving people are waiting for him at home. A happy person is the creator of his own happiness. He will not agree to exchange his personal time for satisfying the interests of others. And the most important thing is that a happy person already has what he needs, which means there is nothing to hook him with, which is what great manipulators use in their practice.
High expectations
We live in a world where emotional rewards are tied to material values.
But people do not dream about luxury items or money themselves, but about the attention and respect (and even love) that are given to those who possess these items. Added to all this are our high expectations. From childhood, our parents tell us that we can become anything we want if we just try. They constantly convince us that we are special. But, growing up, we don’t feel like that at all, and our expectations are often not met. This is one of the reasons why we are unhappy.
The habit of being unhappy
Many people are surprised by the phenomena when stressful situations come one after another, plunging them deeper into a state of unhappiness. Some seek advice, others wait out a period of failure, and still others become even more unhappy. But for some reason, a person does not think that the cause of the “black streak” may not be the external circumstances of life, but himself.
Modern people know first-hand what it is to be unhappy, to constantly experience stress, anxiety and various fears. Since this becomes more of an everyday condition, the individual sometimes forgets that being unhappy is just his habit. He can forget himself so much and act automatically that when faced with another awkward situation, he perceives it as a difficult event that causes a lot of negative feelings in him.
Being in a calm or cheerful mood, does it really become so bad when your boss is dissatisfied with your work? Is it really necessary to respond with aggression to a person who accidentally steps on your foot? Is it so illogical for a person to leave his partner for the one he loves? Often, out of habit, people perceive ordinary life situations as negative and hostile. Events themselves cannot be good or bad, but a person who is accustomed to reacting to any unforeseen situation with aggression and excitement paints it in dark colors.
The habit of being unhappy also manifests itself when a person, having experienced one stressful situation, involuntarily begins to look for other stimuli that will maintain his state of unhappiness. For example, a girl may complain two weeks after breaking up with a guy that other gentlemen do not pay attention to her. Having experienced one stressful situation - breaking up with her partner, the girl is looking for another problem that will allow her to be unhappy.
As you can see, a person is often the author of how unhappy and insecure a particular situation will make him. Having become accustomed to reacting negatively to certain external circumstances, a person does not give himself the choice to show a completely different reaction to a negative event the next time.
Well, they fired me! But now I have time to find another, more interesting job!” “Have you had a fight? Well, that means you need to think about your mistakes so that a similar situation does not happen in the future!” You should learn to have a more positive attitude towards events that cause mental discomfort. This will get rid of automatic reactions to completely neutral situations, when the last piece of sausage was taken from the counter in front of you, for example. And you will also save yourself from empty emotional disorders that only take up your time and energy, preventing you from solving problems and continuing to live happily.
You don't take care of yourself
This includes any procedure you do for yourself, from an overnight face mask to going to the dentist or going to the gym. By the way, the latter can be replaced by any sport that you can practice even at home. When you free up time for relaxation, responding to the previous advice, you will suddenly have a desire to do something for yourself.
Even reading fiction during your lunch break on a bench in front of your office building will work in a positive way, allowing your brain to rest. After all, you have changed the environment of four walls to Natasha Rostova’s first ball, filled with excitement, brilliance and the aromas of perfumed ladies.
Do you owe someone to be unhappy?
Do you owe someone to be unhappy? Then why are you suffering? Many moments of grief and sadness are programmed by society. You, for example, might not cry when a loved one leaves you (after all, as they say, if you love, then you want happiness; and if someone leaves, it means that he sees happiness in another place, and not next to you ). However, many films, novels and society in general are programmed to cry in such cases. Why? You don't know it, but you do it.
Do you owe someone to be unhappy? Cry when someone leaves you, suffer when you lose something valuable, humiliate yourself when you don’t like something? You don't have to do all this. Why not smile when you are given the freedom and opportunity to find another loved one with whom you will be much happier than before? Why not be happy about the opportunity to find a new job when you were laid off from your old one? Are you obliged to suffer? No. Thus, why do you waste your nerves and energy on something that is useless. It’s better to smile at the opportunities that open up.
There is no need to cry, suffer, humiliate and suffer. You don't have to. Life is given to you to enjoy your existence. Rejoice, be happy. If you find it unpleasant to be somewhere, get out of there. If you lose something, get kicked out or leave you, then rejoice: you are free, you are free to do whatever you want, you don’t have to answer to anyone, and you have been given a chance to find those people, those places and those things that will serve you. for good purposes and will not make you suffer.
How to become happy
1. Stop believing in meritocracy. Luck and accidents largely determine our successes.
2. Find your own definition of success rather than relying on the idea that society imposes. You can succeed in completely different ways.
Most often, success has nothing to do with status and income, although many now understand it that way.
Of course, money can be one of the components of success, but not the only one.
3. Don't let your self-worth depend entirely on your external achievements. This does not mean that you should not strive for wealth at all. There are simply so many advantages that do not fall into the answer to the unceremonious question “What do you do?” Don't forget about them.
4. The most important thing is to find a job that brings satisfaction.
Why are you unhappy?
Are you unhappy? Are you unhappy with your life? Does something constantly irritate you? It should be recognized that only you are to blame for the current situation. You haven't done anything to be happy. Then why blame other people for your misfortunes?
Many people think that happiness comes from outside: others can make them happy, fate itself or luck. In fact, happiness is the fruit of the actions of the person himself. No one can make you happy except yourself. This is due to the fact that only you know what makes you happy, how to achieve it and what exactly happiness should be like for everything to suit you.
You are unhappy because you don't want anything. First, to become happy, you need to have desires, goals, dreams. You must want something, strive for something, go in some direction. If you don't want anything, then where does your happiness come from? You simply go with the flow of life, which can both please and sadden you. Mostly you will pay attention to what makes you sad because there is sadness inside: you are not striving for anything, and internally it makes you sad.
Secondly, you must not only want something, but also perform certain actions that will realize your dream. Do you think that you are unhappy because other people do not want to do something for you? When you need to buy yourself beautiful clothes, do you also get offended by the thing because you don’t buy it yourself and don’t hang it in your closet? When you need to do your hair or brush your teeth, do you resent your hair or teeth for not doing the job for you that will put them in order? Then why do you think that happiness should come into your life itself, and not be created by you personally?
Only you are responsible for whether you are happy or not. If you are unhappy, then answer yourself the question: “Do I know what will make me happy? What can I do to become a happy person? You must want something, strive for something, and at the same time realize your dreams yourself, and not wait for mercy from fate or demand anything from other people. If you feel unhappy, then instead of focusing on your grief and blaming others, think about what you want. What will make you happy? What should you do to find happiness? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and blaming other people for your troubles. Become more aware of what your desires are, what you want to achieve in your life, and start taking action to make your dreams come true. Don't rely on other people because they don't have to fulfill your life goals. Realize your desires yourself, don’t waste time that you can live happily.
Too many options to choose from
It would seem that we should be glad that there are so many opportunities in the modern world. But what if we still don’t achieve success, even though we spent a lot of money on education, and our mother said that we can become what we want?
To answer these questions, you might want to look into the self-help section of a bookstore. Most likely, one half of the books will be called something like “How to Be Successful in 15 Minutes” or “How to Get Rich Quick,” and the other half will be called “How to Deal with Low Self-Esteem.” These two topics are closely related.
A society that tells people that anyone can achieve anything, when in fact only a few succeed, breeds dissatisfaction and disappointment.
Do what you really like
Perhaps each of us has a hobby, but how often do we allow ourselves to enjoy it? Yes, yes, the same explanations again: there is no free time, no energy, I want to, but I can’t get around to it... But what a pleasure it is to draw or knit, bake a complex, but the most delicious cake or selflessly dance the rumba! Do not deny yourself your favorite activities: they are the ones who make life bright, your mood excellent, and your self-esteem high.
By immersing ourselves in creativity, we return to ourselves and our essence, replenish our internal resources, gain strength and confidence.
Happiness and family
Looking at those elderly people from my examples above, I would like to assert that a person’s happiness is his family. If there is a house, there is a spouse, there are children, grandchildren, then the person is usually happy. There is nothing more important for a child than his mom and dad. Have we finally found the source of happiness?
And indeed, often those who have not found happiness in a career, work, business, find it in the family hearth.
It’s so good when, after any adversity and failure, we can come home, where a family is waiting for us, who will warm us with their warmth and love.
“I’m happy because I have a home and a family,” many say so. But is this really so?
Haven't you come across examples where people are unhappy in their families? They seem to have a family, but they are ready at the first opportunity to free themselves from this burden and become a free person. Constant scandals with an unloved wife and or unloved husband, children are a burden, parents who drink.
This means that finding a family gives happiness to some, but not to others.
Relax so you can work with pleasure
No matter how busy your work is, be sure to take breaks; this will only benefit your business. You can walk down the street and just breathe some air, drink coffee in a calm environment, turn on your favorite music on the player, or just sit for 15 minutes with your eyes closed. In this short period of time, you still can’t redo your official affairs, but it’s quite possible to provide emotional relief and cheer up. Another point: while on vacation or on weekends, rest. You can make lists of urgent tasks and work calls later, when you return to the office.
Are health and happiness synonymous?
Today, many argue that happiness very much depends on health, and even put a sign of identity between these concepts. If you have health, then you are happy, and if you don’t have health, nothing in the world can make you happy. Is it really? Let's figure it out. Indeed, these two concepts are closely related to each other. It’s not for nothing that this blog is about health and happiness.
Remember yourself when you were young. My health was overflowing, and the sea was knee-deep. It’s not for nothing that youth is considered the best part of life. You were not afraid to do reckless things without thinking about the consequences. You fell in love, accomplished feats, lived to the fullest. You were definitely happy.
And what comes with age. The body begins to get sick and makes itself felt. You have become grouchy, lifeless and don't want to do anything. And now it feels like we are unhappy. What happened?
We have less internal energy and our health has left us.
In fact, the amount of energy and health are closely related.
The more vital energy we have, the more health we have.
What about happiness? Since happiness becomes less and less with age, the conclusion arises that happiness also depends on health, and therefore on the state of our energy.
It seems that it is so. Nowadays they write a lot about this on the Internet, and encourage people to lead a healthy lifestyle to find happiness.
But here cases immediately come to mind that in old age, with a huge bouquet of illnesses and with a small amount of internal energy, there are a lot of happy people. They rejoice in the fact that they have a family home, healthy children, a beloved spouse, a beloved home, and a favorite hobby.
They work, raise children or grandchildren, and do what they love.
There are also examples of people who have suffered from some incurable disease since childhood. And among them there are both happy and unhappy.
This means that health seems to influence happiness, but as we have seen, it is not the main thing. What's the main thing? What is it that makes us a happy person?
