13 407161 October 19, 2021 at 08:26 Author of the publication: Yana Parshina, sales manager
Do you want to know how to find yourself in life? How to realize yourself? The answer is simple: you need to get to know yourself. You don't know yourself at all!
Ask someone, the first person you meet, to tell him about himself. The most you will hear are facts from the biography.
What can you tell us about yourself? Who are you? How are you different from others? What do you want? What do you know about how to find your place in life?
We don't know anything about ourselves. Nothing! We live our lives “by touch.” Some were lucky to find their way and take exactly their place in human society, working with pleasure, receiving excellent results and recognition from society. And some people continue to search for themselves even at 50 years old. True, the older you are, the sadder and more hopeless your search looks.
Fortunately, scientific progress does not stand still. New discoveries in psychology eliminate the need to search for yourself through scientific research, try yourself in different specialties, changing jobs one after another. After all, you can spend your whole life searching for yourself and your path!
You can find yourself in incredibly short lines by getting to know your real self, realizing what your unconscious is hiding. So, the path to self-realization - where to start?
In this article you will learn:
- How to believe in yourself and your capabilities.
- How to find your calling, clearly understand what it means to find yourself, your abilities and talents, the implementation of which will bring real satisfaction.;
- How to recognize false targets and abandon them.
- How to determine your place in society.
- Why exactly are you trying to find your place in life, while others are not? Why can't you live like everyone else and be content with little?
Start small
After my dismissal, there were days when I found it difficult to force myself to get out of bed.
It's OK. Praise yourself even for this. Were you able to do a five-minute stretch as well? This is generally great. You can be proud of yourself. You have lost confidence in your ability to do what you want. No problem. This has happened to many.
Choose an activity whose outcome will depend only on you, set a deadline and complete it. Repeat this task until you feel ready for more complex tasks.
People say, “Pretend you like it until you believe it.” But this rule doesn't work. You will always know that you are faking. This will destroy self-confidence. Your inner fire will go out. So stop pretending and start taking action.
Travel
It’s not that I followed advice from wise books on how to regain my integrity, but nevertheless, it so happened that I left the country. I had a trip planned to France, where, together with my close friend, we were supposed to indulge in all the joys of travel and escapism. I didn’t cancel the trip, and I didn’t have the strength to do so. From the mire of suffering, I was plunged into the womb of the unknown and exotic, because it heals. Did it cure me? No, but it played a role. The month that I spent in the atmosphere of another country lasted, as it seemed to me then, forever, and during this time I learned something about this life.
The first is that something that is broken from the inside will not stick back together if you move it to another less depressing place. Secondly, a change of environment is useful if you have stayed in one place, but if you go on a trip, being completely destroyed inside, you will not be able to enjoy life. Third, despite the fact that the first two points are true, it’s still worth a try. So I tried. I began to explore myself and the emptiness inside in a new, unfamiliar, foreign place. If you are alone in your hometown, then in a foreign country loneliness takes on a different meaning.
You are taken out of context, which is why it can be real to turn the page and accept as truth the blank, unwritten sheet.
I cried, laughed, tasted the blue of the sea, tried to overcome natural fears, challenging myself to go deep into the forest, for example. Every day was empty and meaningless for me, but I forced myself to live. Wake up in the morning, get dressed, try something new. I believed that the taste, smell and color would come to me one day, and I would be able to enjoy it all again. And then one morning I woke up with a cutting feeling that not a single moment should be lost, I want to live everything, and take everything from my journey. The people who surrounded me there, in a new place, listened to my story, consoled me and even cried with me, but also continued to live their own lives, they had a job, a house, parties with friends, and even their own losses, and I witnessed all this.
Today, I am glad that I left then, not because the brave conquest of the globe is a panacea for suffering hearts, but because the next step is most important, it is the one that illuminates the road. Go on a journey when your heart is broken, not to enjoy the sights and national cuisine, but to start from scratch and this is the first step.
Stop agreeing
Many people accept jobs they hate, buy clothes that others call fashionable, and put up with mediocre treatment. As a result, life ceases to bring joy.
When we worry about things imposed by other people, we stop living our lives.
Set your own priorities. Decide what is most important to you at the moment. Let these be just three things that are most valuable to you. Something for which you are willing to spend effort, time and money.
Only these three priority things need to be said yes. Don't focus on making money. Think about what you can give to your children, parents, loved ones and friends. Build strong human relationships. Otherwise, you, like me, risk falling into depression.
What does any profession consist of?
Since you need to find yourself, look at the matter practically. A profession is always a combination of OBJECT-ACTION-INSTRUMENT. This connection is the seed of the profession. But a profession also has a shell: how far is your work from your home, what kind of team does your work have, what is the character of your boss, etc. The salary is also not included in the grain, but in the shell. Grain is what to do, with what and how. And money is a consequence of labor.
For example, for a hairdresser, the subject of labor is human hair, and the action is cutting, coloring, etc. The tools of labor are scissors, a comb, paints, etc.
Ask yourself: do I want to work with a person’s hair every day (precisely every day, except weekends), talk to a person, work with my hands, using tools. By the way, in 2021, the ProfGid career guidance center developed an accurate career guidance test. He himself will tell you which professions are suitable for you, and give an opinion about your personality type and intelligence.
Use all your talents
Gary Vaynerchuk knows wine, video and business. He launched Wine Library TV, a webcast dedicated to wine. Steve Jobs understood design and technology. He created Apple.
Most of us view our abilities vertically. We choose one talent and try to succeed somewhere with it. Instead, you can look at your abilities horizontally and create a unique combination of skills, abilities and aspirations.
Think about where such a mix might be useful? Usually we try to fit into the existing business model and adapt to the needs of employers. We say: “I am ready to do anything in the name of financial success.”
Wouldn't it be better to think about what makes you unique and how that will help you achieve success? Make an action plan. You will realize how great it is to be yourself.
How to find yourself and become the master of your life
There are many ways, tips, recommendations for finding yourself. They can be simple and complex. However, any drastic action can cause each of us to fear the consequences, which slows us down and sometimes simply stops us at the starting point. Therefore, experts recommend starting small and gradually expanding your goals. This means that you need to go through the following steps:
- determine the boundaries of your comfort zone - involves analyzing your behavior patterns and your own defensive reactions;
- remember and implement postponed plans and ideas - for this, temporarily forgotten goals must be identified and divided into two groups, taking into account the reasons, followed by their analysis and determination of patterns;
- prioritize tasks - consists of identifying the most important areas of life at the moment, while narrowing their circle to a minimum in order to gradually work through everything in the future;
- stop being offended by yourself and other people - this is an attitude to get rid of negativity, which helps you move forward, complete old projects and start new ones;
- deciding on what brings true pleasure is finding a favorite activity or activity;
- start planning every day - involves drawing up a schedule for mandatory actions, possibly with assessment;
- determine a motivation system - involves receiving rewards in any form for each completed task in order to stimulate movement forward.
Don't rely on a financial miracle
When we decide to change our lives, we hope for help from above. Winning the lottery, inheritance, financial miracle. Stop. Don't go crazy.
The ability to create something important despite obvious difficulties is one of the best qualities of a person. You must develop this character trait. You can't hope that someone or something will come to your aid.
Evaluate everything soberly and plan your budget. Even if it is difficult, boring and sad because of the amount of money in your account. Without cash payments, it is impossible to proceed to action. So stop dreaming.
About finding yourself
Every day, children, teenagers and even adults and older people tell themselves and others “I want to find myself in life.” Self-confidence and success are also often not a guarantee that a person will not have problems finding himself. According to psychology, such conditions are typical for people with periodic repetition from the first grades to old age. This is one of those things that should be taught in schools.
From a philosophical point of view, it is understanding oneself and searching for a unique place. Psychologists believe that if such a problem takes a long time, this may indicate depression. Therefore, it is recommended to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist or leave everything and just enjoy what you have if the search turns into an obsession and no longer brings pleasure. Sometimes such moods are explained as fatigue and, accordingly, the need for rest. It happens that a person has long found himself, but due to fatigue and stress he doubts it and needs to reboot.
Those who are looking for themselves value not only the result, but also the process itself and the efforts made. There is no magic recipe and, on the one hand, this is good, because this is what makes the search interesting, memorable and fun. On the other hand, universal instructions would make a difficult task easier. Among the main ways to determine your place in life are introspection and analysis, advice from psychologists and exercises, consultations, master classes and trainings, as well as spiritual practices, meditation and motivation. Some people choose to combine several methods, thereby simplifying their lives.
A simple way to FIND YOURSELF AND UNDERSTAND what to do in life
Get rid of a toxic environment
When I decided to quit, my parents were twirling their fingers at their temples. Everyone tried to dissuade me. It was very difficult. There will definitely be people in your environment who do not believe in your strengths, lower your self-esteem and impose their opinions. You need to limit your communication with them. Even if those closest to you turn out to be such toxic characters. By allowing them into your life, you waste a lot of energy.
Do not give in to provocations, stick to your position. Do not doubt. Then no one can break your faith in yourself.
Surround yourself with those who will support your goals and aspirations. So you realize that many doubts were just an echo of what you heard about yourself.
Thesis two:
Whether we like it or not, in any situation of interaction with other people we inevitably have to take on one or another social role - and it does not at all destroy our personality, does not replace it and does not turn us into part of a gray faceless mass.
In the language of computer scientists, a social role is just an interface that corresponds to a particular situation and allows others to perceive us as a safe object that corresponds to generally accepted expectations. By accepting this interface, we are not betraying ourselves. We simply meet other people's expectations, show them courtesy, show our love for them, just as the incarnate Lord showed love for St. Joseph by humbly helping him in his carpentry.
It is clear that, having noticed himself fulfilling one or another social role, a Christian may worry: am I being a hypocrite? Am I not engaged in people-pleasing? Here you need to understand that what makes our behavior hypocritical and people-pleasing is not the social roles themselves, but the goals that we pursue in fulfilling them. And here the only way to understand yourself is to listen to your heart and realize what we are acting for?
If the goal is to please other people and thereby obtain some benefits for oneself, then it makes sense to think about how much such behavior corresponds to the commandments of the Gospel. And if the goal is to show love to people who have trusted us and expect from us a certain conformity to one or another social role, then we are not talking about hypocrisy. Because love tends to manifest itself in various ways. In this sense, social roles are another gift from God to fallen humanity, allowing us to make up for the lack of love for each other.
Social roles are like the different colors of the spectrum into which a ray of light can be divided. Identity is the result of the reverse process - when a person combines all the diversity of social roles into a certain integrity and appropriates them to himself in order to determine for himself who he is in this diverse life. This is where an unpleasant surprise may await us.
It turns out that quite often adults cannot answer a simple question: who am I? Well, for example, I’m sitting in the kitchen, drinking tea, looking out the window, and everything seems to be fine - work, friends, but still a feeling of something not right, as if I wanted to become an astronaut or a famous musician, or just happy human. And I became someone who sits alone in his apartment and watches videos on YouTube so as not to feel so lost and alone.
Why this happened is a separate conversation in each case. But in such situations there is still one very important feature common to all. The fact is that such a mentality overtakes almost every person on our planet when this person turns, say, thirteen years old. And it usually lasts up to eighteen or twenty years. This is the so-called teenage crisis.
