Find like-minded people
It is difficult to cope with many situations in life alone. Even if you are used to always dealing with problems on your own, it is worth thinking about creating a “support group” for yourself in order to survive life’s difficulties. These could be close friends or family who genuinely care about you and want to help.
Sharing problems rather than being alone with them is really important. This helps us look at them from the outside, find support, and better understand ourselves.
If it’s difficult for you to talk about problems “live” or you’re afraid of upsetting your loved ones too much, a good solution would be online communication and thematic forums where you can help other people and get support from them. Maybe someone has had a similar experience in life, and is ready to share how they experienced it. This will make it easier to make a decision, weigh the pros and cons, or simply understand that you are not alone in this situation. And it will become easier to get through the difficult period.
In any situation, have a plan B
Tune in to the positive, but don’t rule out a bad outcome to the situation. Have several options for the development of events to be prepared for anything. For example, a student doesn’t know physics well and is afraid of a test. This is the most difficult test for him. What to do? Plan A is to try to prevent the problem by reviewing the topics with a classmate. Plan B is to accept the possible bad outcome and figure out how to fix it. For example, get a high grade in the next lesson. The same principle can be applied when searching for a job. If a specialist does not have enough experience and skills, he can either improve them by taking courses, or agree to work from scratch, but for a low salary.
To create a plan “B”, you need to understand the problem, formulate it into tasks, think through ways to solve them and choose the best option. You will learn more about this technique from the video with psychologist and career guidance specialist Adukar Anna Isaenko.
Learn to be more optimistic
Most of the time, we tend to perceive things negatively, especially when it seems difficult to deal with. You need to learn a positive attitude and outlook on life. We have already talked about what habits happy people have.
One way that helps with this is to develop your gratitude. For example, you may not have a partner, so you often feel unloved. But if you focus on your family or friends who are always there, you will realize that you are actually loved by many people.
Accept that there are no perfect people
Ardent perfectionism sometimes prevents a person from overcoming obstacles. The question haunts me: “How is this possible, since I do everything correctly and perfectly?” It’s difficult to come to terms with this; a person becomes fixated on difficulties and so on in a circle. Why drive yourself into a dead end? Nobody's perfect. It's normal to make mistakes, to not know how to cope with a difficulty. But you can survive this by at least starting with accepting your imperfection.
Keep a diary
Whether you're in a good mood or a bad mood, keeping a journal allows you to record your thoughts. This is especially important in cases where you feel uncomfortable talking to people. It will also help you plan and make a list of what you want to achieve and what you need to do to achieve it. Don't think it's boring, there are many ways to journal.
And the diary often helps in cases where you need help from a psychologist - with its help you can track the dynamics of your condition and not miss important moments and experiences that need to be shared with the doctor.
Making a strong-willed decision to fight
Giving a clear name is mandatory, because vague complaints like “I feel bad, my soul hurts, it’s hard, and I don’t know why” and “cure” are impossible.
After recognizing the problem, you already have a formulation. It’s not always easy to take even this step, but don’t think about it, do it in order, so to speak, in small steps. In this way you will go through the entire long, albeit difficult, path. Don't forget: “Great things start small.”
After looking your difficulty in the eye, the problem will already decrease in size. Now it will not pulsate in your exhausted brain every day or seem like a black bottomless abyss. No, after the bold step of identifying the problem, you have already seen your enemy and know its size. It turns out that this is not a bottomless abyss, although it is very deep in some particularly serious cases.
How often does it happen that a person knows a problem that has been bothering him for a long time, but does not want to fight, he is disappointed in life, does not believe in himself and walks around like a psychological corpse - Homo Sapiens lives, eats, breathes, but has lost interest in anything , life only by the fact of its existence is disgusting. What can I recommend?
Strange as it may sound, if it seems to you that the end has come for the person you previously saw in the mirror, this is good because there is nothing to lose in such a situation. All that remains is to make the decision to fight, to solve problems.
You may ask, what to do if it is completely unclear which direction to move? Should you do something even if you are not sure about the right path? Of course yes. Here's an example. Imagine that there is a small wooden box in front of you. It is filled with balls of the same size, but of different colors: first, a handful of black balls are poured, and the same amount of white balls is poured on top. The box is closed.
Now we draw parallels: one of the black balls is you. The ball lies at the bottom of the box, there are black balls around, there is also a large layer of balls on top and the situation seems completely hopeless, since there is no way to get up and the ways to solve the problem are unknown.
Now imagine that you pick up the box and start shaking it. Yes, at first glance you are doing things at random. You don’t know what’s going on inside, you know one thing - when you shake the box, at least something happens inside. Now let’s reveal the cards: in the process of such shaking, the balls in the box begin to mix. It happens chaotically, but everyone has heard the theory of probability.
So, according to this theory, the balls in the box will eventually return to their initial position with almost zero probability. So doing at least something is useful in depression, in decadent moods. And then, you see, while shaking, you will understand in which direction you need to tilt the box and your ball will be pushed up by other balls.
Exercise
Many people think that exercising is too tiring and should be avoided during difficult times. In fact, exercise is very beneficial during difficult times. They help relieve stress, release and release negative energy, and shift attention from problems to other activities. So after training we can actually feel better.
Celebrate small victories
To survive adversity, you need to be able to notice small victories. For example, when you did more than you planned, or simply finished what you started. Be sure to praise yourself after spring cleaning - you showed willpower, a desire to make your life better, and took care of your health. Or celebrate every day you quit smoking as another achievement - you deserve it, because breaking this habit is really difficult.
The habit of noticing and praising yourself for small daily achievements helps in developing motivation and accumulating energy that will be enough to cope with life's difficulties.
Be open-minded about what others say
Some words of encouragement from loved ones can take the form of constructive criticism.
In fact, they are not trying to accuse you of something or offend you - on the contrary, they are trying to show what could help you in the future. Try to have an open mind and think about what you are told. These words can really help you become a better person or look at a situation from a different perspective. Often we don't notice some important aspects, but others notice them - so it's worth taking their words into account. But to act as they suggest to you, or to remain unconvinced, is up to you to decide.
Overcoming real and imagined life difficulties in children through children's folklore
Children's folklore is a special area of oral folk art, which includes a variety of poetic genres. Children's folklore draws material from a variety of sources.
First of all, these are works of oral folk art that adults have created for children over the years. These works are associated with the tradition of nursing - caring for young children. They include lullabies that calm the child and put him to sleep, as well as lullabies and nursery rhymes accompanied by playful movements, stroking and touching. This is the language of emotional communication, understandable and attractive to children, creating a situation of emotional comfort for them.
Over time, children's folklore included works that were originally intended for adults - those that were accessible to the perception and understanding of children: Dances, songs, riddles, proverbs, idioms. Finally, children's folklore includes folklore created by children themselves. Children, growing up and participating in games with peers, master counting rhymes, jokes, sayings, etc. Then they themselves were involved in the creative process of creating games, proverbs, sayings, etc.
M.N. Melnikov identifies the following genres that traditionally belong to children's folklore: lullabies and pestushki - songs accompanying child care; nursery rhymes - games between adults and children (with fingers, palms); chants - appeals to natural phenomena (sun, wind, rain, snow, rainbow, trees); chants - appeals to insects, birds, animals; counting rhymes - short rhymes used to fairly distribute roles in games; tongue twisters and fashionable phrases - unobtrusively teach children correct and understandable language; teases - witty, humorous, short and aptly named some funny aspects of a child's appearance and behavior; stock phrases, jokes, phrases - funny songs that amuse children with their unusualness; fun stories - that have no end and can be replayed many times.
An extremely important and significant point is that the genres of children's folklore appear in a certain sequence in the life of a child, solving actual educational problems for each specific age group, covering the norms of relationships with the world and other people, representing natural forms of educational influence. Based on this, children's folklore can be called a didactic system for educating a child's personality. What and how did the simple songs and games of children's folklore teach the child?
The first songs a child encounters in his life are lullabies. The lullaby was born out of a need to help a small child fall asleep. Long, restful and deep sleep is necessary for a child to grow and develop quickly. After all, the child’s body is busy with its own formation and creation, and in the first year of life this process is especially rapid. The baby himself is not able to switch his emotional states, stabilize them, “consciously” calm down and fall asleep, as an adult does. Often the transition from wakefulness to sleep is a stressful situation for the baby. Therefore, all means of expressiveness in a lullaby: tempo, melody, rhythmic structure are aimed at equalizing the child’s pulse and breathing, removing emotional excitement, calming him down and putting him to sleep.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Your life is different from others, and you shouldn't feel bad if other people are already at the peak of success and you are not.
For example, your friend weighs 50 kg, and you are still on your way to the same mark on the scale. There is no need to constantly look at her photos on social networks and reproach yourself for the fact that she managed to achieve this, but you haven’t yet. You will never know all the pitfalls that are hidden behind what we consider other people's success. In addition, everyone’s ability to achieve their goal is different, and it’s simply wrong to compare them.
But comparing yourself to yourself in the past is much more useful. If you look back and see that you lost 3 kilograms in a month, didn’t miss a single workout, and completely gave up fast food to achieve your goal, you’ll want to praise yourself. This mindset allows you to recharge yourself with energy and motivation to achieve a big goal.
How to overcome difficulties
There are never great things without great difficulties.
Voltaire [Marie Francois Arouet]
The need to overcome various life difficulties arises in our lives constantly.
This is the kind of work that we are regularly forced to do. After all, it is simply impossible to imagine life without difficulties. Difficulties always arise for everyone. It doesn’t matter where or how a person lives, he will constantly face certain difficulties in life, because they are inevitable. And since they are inevitable, we all need to be able to overcome them. And in order to overcome difficulties, you need to be able to perceive them correctly and evaluate them competently, in order to then develop the necessary strategy to overcome them. All this can be learned - any of you, dear readers, can learn this. And in this article I’m just going to teach you how, firstly, to perceive difficulties correctly, secondly, to analyze them competently, and thirdly, to find the right solutions to overcome them and then immediately begin the necessary actions . Read the article to the end - and no life difficulties will be scary for you in the future. But before we move on to our main task, let's quickly find out what difficulties are. You and I must know what we are dealing with. Difficulties are obstacles in a person’s path that arise in unfamiliar, unusual circumstances for him, when he has to solve non-standard and therefore difficult problems, which we often call problems. It is difficult for him to solve them because he simply does not know how exactly it should be done, and not because they are very difficult in themselves. That is, those obstacles, obstacles, obstacles, obstacles that we perceive as difficulties arise primarily in our head and relate specifically to us. In fact, difficulties can be the same ordinary things that a person does in his life all the time, without even thinking about how difficult they are for him. But if they turn out to be unusual, unusual, non-standard things for him, which he does not know how to do, he will have difficulties. In other words, we are talking about new life tasks, for the solution of which it is necessary to understand them. And until a person understands them, they will remain difficulties for him. A difficult situation is simply an unusual situation when a person is faced with tasks that he has no experience in solving. That's all, actually. And there is nothing wrong with difficulties. This is very important to understand, friends. After all, the devil is not as scary as he is painted. Difficulties become difficulties only because we treat them as difficulties, giving this concept a negative meaning. Let's now see what the meaning of difficulties is, so that we can learn to perceive them normally and calmly.
What is the meaning of difficulties
So, let's think about why life cannot be such that there are no difficulties and problems in it at all, so that you can live and not care about anything, not worry about anything, not rack your brains over all sorts of difficulties that always complicate and make our lives worse. Therefore, our life cannot be such that the absence of any problems, difficulties, or obstacles in it would make it very boring, uninteresting and meaningless. The absence of difficulties in life would not allow it to develop, you and I would stop developing, and everything would remain at the same level, nothing would change in our lives. And if a person does not develop, then he begins to degrade. After all, life itself, if we look at it closely, is a constant process, a movement from something to something - from birth to death, from an undeveloped state to a developed state, from simple to complex, from one form to another. And it is thanks to this movement, this continuous process of transition from one state to another, that we live, we value and love our life, cherish it, support it, see meaning in it. Therefore, our life cannot be without difficulties, because difficulties are life. They are the ones who force us to change, they are the ones who support our vitality and guide us through life. And anyone who denies the need for difficulties essentially denies life itself. And this indicates the initial stage of degradation. The need for the absence of difficulties is not a normal need. A normal need is the need to solve problems. Only in this case does a person live, and not live his life. Therefore, the meaning of difficulties is to support life, to make it interesting, to give it meaning, and also to develop people, that is, you and me. So life without difficulties is not life, it is something else.
Thus, in order not to go against the fundamental laws of life, you and I need to recognize the usefulness and interestingness of all the difficulties that life regularly throws at us. This will allow us, you, friends, to change our attitude towards them. And thanks to this, you will take the first step towards overcoming them. You and I will learn to smoothly overcome difficulties so that you won’t even notice how they turn from difficulties into part of everyday tasks that you can easily solve. But keep in mind that the ease of solving them will depend on your attitude towards them, and not on the process itself.
How to perceive difficulties
Now let's talk in more detail about how to perceive difficulties in order to learn to overcome them. I have already said above that it is important, very important to understand the usefulness and necessity of various kinds of difficulties in our lives. And also their inevitability. It is important to understand that various difficulties and problems are our life. Or rather, its integral part. Without them, you would not be interested in living, without them you would not see life at all, not to mention the fact that without difficulties you would not be able and would not want to develop. And without development, life cannot be improved. Therefore, life always keeps us on our toes when it throws us certain difficulties. And I believe that these difficulties should be considered as a test that each of us must undergo regularly in order not to lose interest in life and to constantly develop. Therefore, let's perceive them exactly like that - as tests. And even better, as a game in which we need to pass these tests in order to become stronger. Do you like this approach to difficulties? I love. I hope you do too.
Therefore, you should not look at difficulties as something bad, wrong, harmful, unwanted - rejoice in them, accept them, look at working with them as a game that you need to win. Moreover, this is a game that unwinds in a spiral, this is when, overcoming all kinds of difficulties, you become stronger and stronger, moving from one difficulty to another. And as you become stronger, you improve your life, because many things begin to work out for you, many things become within your power. Think about what abilities you can develop in yourself by taking on a solution to a particular problem. And how these abilities will affect your future life. It is clear that this is positive, because the more we can do, the easier it is for us to live. So difficulties are a kind of simulator for personal growth, with the help of which you will make yourself stronger and rise to new heights. This is so cool, you must agree. I tell you this as a person who constantly solves some problems, not only his own, but also those of others. Moreover, when solving other people’s problems, I make them my problems, I get used to them, I take the other person’s place as far as possible and begin to live with their problem in order to then solve it. And guess what? I like it. I have long ceased to be afraid of any problems and life difficulties, because I know that all problems can be solved. But this is not the main thing. The main thing is that by solving these problems, I stop seeing problems as problems, I become stronger and overcome difficulties without noticing them. This is how difficulties affect our lives if we handle them correctly.
This is how you, friends, need to perceive the difficulties in your life in order to treat them correctly. Our understanding and acceptance of them begins with our correct attitude towards them. Why do we need an easy and carefree life, well, think about it yourself, why? Just to burn it through quickly? What is the point in simply existing, what is the joy in that? It is much more interesting to live, overcoming difficulties and constantly developing yourself with their help, so that thanks to this you can expand the horizons of your life and see something new, experience new sensations, and achieve more. This is such an interesting game. We need to say thank you to life for it.
Overcoming difficulties
Having dealt with the correct perception of life's difficulties and our attitude towards them based on this perception, we will move on to ways to overcome them. And in order to overcome difficulties, no longer in your head, as I wrote about above, but in real life, it is extremely important to identify the reasons for their occurrence and understand the foundations of these reasons. That is, it is necessary to conduct a thorough analysis of our difficulties in order to understand why they arose and how best to overcome them, with the help of what specific actions.
Some difficulties arise for objective reasons, when life circumstances are not the best for a person, and nothing can be done about them - you need to either accept reality as it is, or look for opportunities to escape from it into another reality. Well, you know, how it sometimes happens when a person is surrounded by the wrong people, whom he cannot change even if he wants to - he has no choice but to simply leave them, get rid of their environment. Or, say, a person can live in a country in which for a number of reasons he has no prospects, and then it is easier for him to change this country than to change it. Difficulties that arise for objective reasons require us to make the right decisions. They simply guide us through life. But it also happens that people drive themselves into difficult life situations and then, instead of admitting their own mistakes and starting to solve them, they blame other people for their problems, thereby shifting responsibility for their lives to everyone except themselves. And this is a dead end, friends, this is a dead end. And you can’t get out of it unless you start to figure out what happened and for what reason, and what exactly you did wrong that caused certain difficulties in your life. There is no need to blame anyone - not circumstances, not other people - this is pointless. If you yourself find yourself in a dead end in a labyrinth, then it’s up to you to get out of it. Blaming a labyrinth for existing is as pointless as blaming life for being what it is. Because of our dissatisfaction and accusations of everyone and everything, the fundamental laws of nature do not change. By the way, you don’t need to blame yourself for anything either. If you have created problems for yourself, then look at it philosophically - you will do it better than other people. This will allow you to manage your life yourself.
Now let's move on to consider step-by-step actions with which you can overcome your difficulties.
1. Concentration . To cope with some problem, to solve some problem, to overcome some difficulties, you need to be able to concentrate on them. This is not an easy task - I know it myself. But it’s doable, I know that too. In order to concentrate on something, you need to put things in order in your head - throw out all the useless thoughts that create noise, organize your thinking, put everything in order, and then carefully and consistently begin to study your problem, or better yet, task. Many difficulties disappear already at this stage of working with them, when there is no need to look for any solutions, and there is no need to take any action. It’s enough just to concentrate on your difficulties and understand what exactly they are, what caused them and what they need from you. So concentration is very important, it will help you not to mix your thoughts with each other and not to dump them into one pile. This only makes the problems worse and the tasks more complicated. If you don’t know how to concentrate, don’t know how to manage your attention, learn! Every person can do this. You definitely need to be able to manage your attention, otherwise other people will manage it, they will simply start stealing it from you and using it to their own advantage. You don't need this, right? In the future, I will write articles for you, dear readers, on the topic of concentration to teach you how to concentrate. We will study this topic most thoroughly. So please don't forget to keep the site updated.
2. Analysis . Now let's move on to the analysis. Let's talk about how to carry it out. You need to analyze the situation in which you find yourself, as well as an analysis of the actions that brought you to this situation and then an analysis of the difficulties you encountered. After analyzing the situation, you will immediately understand its pattern, which means you will be able to eliminate the root cause of your problems. The difficulties themselves always tell us how to overcome them, if we study them carefully. I will write a separate article on how to analyze a particular situation, but for now I will point out to you the most important aspect of this work. You don’t have to take into account all the reasons why certain difficulties have arisen in your life - it’s enough to find the main reason, or several main reasons. And for this it is necessary to think not in breadth, but in depth.
How to do it? By studying cause-and-effect relationships. You can also study cause-and-effect relationships; it is not so important what is primary and what is secondary. But I believe that it is much easier when analyzing a situation to move from effect to cause, rather than from cause to effect. It seems to me that it is more convenient. So, let’s say you find yourself in a situation due to which you have certain difficulties, and this situation is a consequence, a consequence of some of your actions and circumstances. The question is - which ones exactly? To understand this, you need to remember everything that you did before you started having difficulties. You don’t need to take into account only what, from your point of view, could lead you to the situation in which you find yourself. You may be wrong. Therefore, take into account all the decisions you make and actions you take. Then determine their sequence in order to understand which of your actions was performed earlier and which later, that is, which follows which. This will help you find one or more root causes. Then you need to turn your attention to objective factors that may or may not have been decisive in the process of forming your situation. You also need to sort them out in time to understand where it all started. Let's say you have financial difficulties in your life, and you need to understand why exactly this happened. Perhaps it's all about the crisis, which has crippled many people, not just you. This is, so to speak, an objective factor. Or perhaps the whole point is a decrease in your income, which has decreased for certain reasons that depend on you. You need to find out exactly why this happened. In other words, all difficulties have underlying causes, which in turn can be in the form of objective and subjective factors. As a rule, both factors influence to a certain extent the formation of various life situations. Only some of them play a more important role, and some less important. And the easier it will be for you to understand the reason for the occurrence of certain difficulties, the more fundamental the factors you find that led to them turn out to be.
Simply put, you need to find the root of your difficulties in order to eliminate it as the root cause. Thus, the analysis will allow you to split your situation into the time periods from which it arose, and when you find the main reason that led you to this situation, you can eliminate it. Well, or the specialist you turn to for help, after studying your situation, will do it for you.
3. Responsibility . The next thing you should pay attention to in order to overcome difficulties and solve various kinds of problems is that you do not need to blame them on anyone. I'm mainly talking about people's complaints about their lives, the fact that they cry when telling other people about their difficulties and often want to be sympathized with, to be pitied. They didn’t help, they suggested what and how to do to solve their problems, but they simply sympathized. Friends are a very bad habit. It may be useful for psychological relief for someone to cry, complain, talking about their problems, but this teaches a person to put up with them, to put up with his difficulties, instead of overcoming them. And if a person does not overcome his difficulties, but resigns himself to them, then he deprives them of meaning. Difficulties arise in a person’s life not so that he complains about them, but so that he overcomes them. Life wants a person to become stronger, to develop, to take a worthy place in society, so it trains him with the help of its tests. And if a person refuses them, these tests, he goes against the laws of the universe, against the laws of the Universe, against the laws of God. This is what is important to understand. Therefore, there is no need to complain, no need to cry - look for a solution to the problems facing you, do it yourself or with the help of specialists, whose knowledge and experience will help you solve all your problems. This is what is required of you – the ability to solve problems, including non-standard ones. So do this, with the help of your own and outside resources. But there is no need to whine and complain about your life - it will not give you anything. But if you need it, then please - whine, complain, feel sorry for yourself. But then, when it becomes easier for you, start solving your problems, overcome the difficulties that have arisen in your life. The problem is not tears and snot, the problem is inaction. The main thing is that you are not passive, that you do not resign yourself to your problems and difficulties, and that you do not shift responsibility for them to other people in order to do nothing. You understand that this will not lead you to anything good, your problems will only get worse.
4. Emotions . Control of emotions is also quite an important point in overcoming difficulties. Emotions, you know, push us to the most primitive actions, to the most obvious decisions, to absolutely ill-considered actions. Because of this, we make mistakes, thereby not solving, but aggravating our problems. Emotions are inevitable and, moreover, necessary, but you need to be able to control them. There are good ways to do this, and I have written about them several times on this site. The main thing is to turn on your thinking when emotions begin to overcome you, and for this you need to load yourself with questions, and, of course, start looking for answers to them, and then the thinking process will start. By pacifying your emotions, you will significantly simplify the solution of the problems and tasks facing you. It’s mainly because of them, because of emotions, that we make mountains out of molehills, sometimes seeing difficulties and problems in things that don’t actually have them. So who knows, perhaps by calming yourself down, you will immediately get rid of all your problems. But, in some cases, in order for there to be an impetus for action, it is necessary to experience strong emotions. It doesn’t matter whether the emotions are positive or negative, different people have different motivations, it is important that, having experienced these emotions, a person gets off the ground and takes action. So, if, say, you are experiencing difficulties in life, which are mainly associated with your passivity and laziness, then a portion of strong negative emotions will clearly not hurt you if it makes you move. Emotions give a person the energy to perform actions, so I do not encourage you to give up on them, you just need to learn to control and manage them. If you learn this, and I’m sure you will, I will teach you this, then the number of mistakes you make in your life will decrease significantly. And you can motivate yourself with the help of your emotions to overcome the same difficulties if, or rather, when, you take control of them.
5. Confidence . Without a doubt, self-confidence helps to solve all the problems that may arise in our lives, and, accordingly, it also helps to overcome life’s difficulties. But now I would like to point out to you another certainty, one that is associated with the difficulties that life throws at us as, as we agreed, tests. Friends, I am absolutely convinced that life always throws us only such difficulties that we are able to overcome. She doesn’t have a goal to break us, she doesn’t need it. But no one has canceled the law of natural selection - if you want to survive, you must be strong. And to be strong, you must subject yourself to stress - physical, mental and intellectual. And the difficulties that arise in our lives do just that - they moderately burden us. Therefore, even if you are an insecure person, then at least be sure that you are quite capable of overcoming the difficulties that you face in your life. I guarantee you this. This is true. Confidence that you can overcome all the tests that life throws at you - that’s what you need to overcome difficulties. At the same time, I repeat, you can even be an insecure person, it doesn’t matter, you can still overcome all the difficulties that exist in your life. They, these difficulties, are prescribed to you by life according to an individual prescription. So they are tough for you, don’t doubt it. But if you also develop self-confidence, that will be absolutely wonderful.
These, in fact, are all the basic steps that you need to take to overcome various life difficulties. I didn’t go into too much detail on this topic, otherwise the article would be too long and not everyone would dare read it. It would be better in the future to return to this topic again and consider it from other points of view, for a better understanding. In the meantime, you will agree that there is nothing complicated in the actions I have described. First of all, you need to change your attitude towards difficulties so that they do not frighten or suppress you, then analyze them in the way I suggested, then develop a simple action plan and proceed to its implementation. Everything else is procedures accompanying this process.
So, as you see, friends, every person is capable of overcoming difficulties, whatever they may be. You just need to accustom yourself to this, and then you won’t even notice many difficulties and problems, because they will not cause you any discomfort, and you will automatically begin to solve them all. This is called unconscious competence, when everything works out as it should, without any stress.
Focus on what's important
Striving to overcome your life's challenges and become the best version of yourself is not easy.
You need to learn to focus on what is important and stay away from distractions and things that can interfere with achieving your goals. It really makes it easier to get through difficult times. When you're unemployed, you don't want to spend all your money on a new wardrobe or delivery of rolls every weekend. You will try to save as much money as possible until you find a new income. This is an example of focusing on what is important, although distracting things seem much more interesting.
ASK WITH FAITH!
James said that you need to ask in faith. In the original, the emphasis in this verse is on the preposition “with”, which paints an image of a person attached to or connected with faith, and therefore he is unshakable and does not intend to move. In other words, this person prays decisively and firmly, knows well what he wants, and is not going to back down. Vera knows what she wants, stands unshakably on her own and has no doubt that she will receive what she asks for.
This verse tells us that we must not only ask in faith, but also not doubt. Greek word diakrinomai
– “to doubt” also means to hesitate, to disagree with oneself.
That is, if you are diakrinomai
, this means that although you say the right words, your heart does not agree with them; Your words are correct, but empty. Until your heart and mouth are in agreement, you will not be able to ask in faith. Thus, when James calls us to ask in faith, he means that the heart must be in agreement with the mouth.
James said that if we doubt, that is, do not exercise strong faith, we are like a wave of the sea.
Greek word kludunai
– “wave” – describes an ever-changing sea, a turbulent sea as one wave rolls in after another.
The waves on the sea are impressive, but quickly disappear and new ones appear after them. Likewise, a doubting person may speak impressive words in prayer, but, like a stormy sea, his prayers and desires are constantly changing. That is, he hesitates. He does not take a firm stand, and therefore does not receive blessings. Faith is unshakable!
Don't be too hard on yourself
Don't be too critical of yourself when you're going through life's challenges. This is important because relatives and friends may not always be nearby. It is in these moments that you need to be your own best friend.
If you tend to think negatively and say harsh and critical things to yourself, think about how you would say this to a stranger in a difficult situation. You wouldn't call your friend stupid because she wasn't promoted at work. You would like, on the contrary, to point out her positive qualities, encourage her, motivate her to try to get it again. This is how you need to talk to yourself.
It's ok to accept defeat
Feeling sad about not coping with a challenge is a standard human reaction. Everyone faces failure in life sooner or later. The main thing in this case is not to give up on your goal or dream, but to accept defeat, draw conclusions, and try again, but under different circumstances. For example, if it weren’t for the persistence of JK Rowling, who received 12 rejections from publishers, we would never have read Harry Potter. The writer achieved her goal, but it took a little more time and patience.
