How often in our lives do we feel the need to somehow psychologically influence a person? No, here we are not talking about manipulating people at all, but about, for example, winning over your interlocutor, getting someone to like you, softening someone’s anger or calming them down, finding a common language with work colleagues or business partners and other similar things. things. We are sure that everyone has encountered something similar and will encounter it more than once.
In this article, we hasten to share with you interesting psychological tricks and techniques. Their main value is that they really work and help achieve the desired result. Some of them, of course, resemble manipulative techniques, so we advise you to use them only for good purposes, and not for uncontrolled control of other people.
Interesting psychological techniques
One more small addition to the introduction: knowing the psychological techniques that we will talk about, you can not only make your communication with people more effective, but also increase your level of psychological security, because many of the techniques given are often used by others in relation to you. All of them have already been tested in practice many times and have proven their effectiveness, which means you will benefit from them in a variety of situations. Let's get started.
Open non-verbal
To appear to others as a more confident, sincere and communicative person, use open postures and gestures. When communicating, people subconsciously perceive nonverbal communication signals, and knowing this, it is much easier to make an impression. Be relaxed, do not cross your arms and legs, shake hands with your palm slightly exposed, etc. You will find more gestures and postures in the article “Nonverbal means of communication.”
Reception "10 minutes"
This technique is useful to use in relation to yourself when there is no motivation to do some work. The brain often deceives a person, making him unwilling to do anything and making him lazy. Knowing this, you can easily switch from laziness and procrastination to activity. Tell yourself that you will only do something for 10 minutes. You will probably not even notice how you will get involved in your work and want to continue further.
Door-in-the-face technique
The essence of this technique with a slightly strange name is that if you need something from a person, first you ask for something more, and then lower your demands. It is based on one psychological subtlety: people are more often reluctant to agree to fulfill a request, and therefore they make concessions much faster if the request becomes less burdensome. So if you want to take a couple of days off, ask for two weeks off first.
Present
Gifts are always nice, people love to receive them, and even a small gift can have a big impact on a person. When you want to “appease” someone or try to change their attitude towards you, give this person a pleasant surprise, for example, give a small souvenir, a bouquet of flowers or a bottle of good wine.
Self confidence
People tend to believe that if a person is confident in himself, then he is a strong and authoritative person, a leader, someone who can be relied on, who can be trusted. Do you want people to take you seriously, respect and trust you? Always, everywhere and in everything, behave as if you know exactly what to do. Even if something goes wrong, people themselves will help you, completely unaware of your shortcomings or little experience in some matter.
Fear of loss
This psychological feature of people has long been used in advertising, management, sales, politics, business and other fields of activity. People never want to lose something. Therefore, if you want to add significance to some of your proposals, show it to the person in such a way that he feels the loss. By the way, don't forget about this trick when you go shopping or watch commercials on TV.
Passive voice
A very useful technique when you need to point out to someone their mistake. Considering that direct accusations always cause a negative reaction and a feeling of protest (or guilt) in people, it is much better to convey your opinion using the passive voice. For example, instead of “You didn’t turn in the project yesterday,” you say, “The project was never turned in.” Note that this technique greatly helps to avoid confrontation and easy conflicts.
We think it wouldn’t hurt to introduce you to a few conversation tricks. So let's take a break for five minutes and watch a video from a specialist in public speaking, public speaking, voice training and rhetoric, Natalia Makhno.
"Foot in the door" technique
The opposite technique to the Door in the Face technique. The point is that if you “train” someone to do small favors for you, you can count on the fact that this someone will help you with something very serious (a person gets used to helping, which is why he feels obligated later). Ask people for small favors and minor help more often, so that you can boldly ask for more. Also read our article “A Foot in the Door.”
The illusion of choice
When you want a person to do what you want, offer him the illusion that he can choose. In fact, in any case, he will do what you ask, thinking that he himself decided to do it. For example, if you want to meet someone tomorrow, ask, “Are you available at 2 p.m. or 7 p.m.?” More likely, the interlocutor will choose the time, but will not refuse. You can easily draw analogies with such a choice yourself.
Reception "Mirror"
Another technique based on non-verbal communication signals. The idea is that when communicating with a person, you quietly copy his gestures and postures in order to “tune in” with him, feel him more deeply, or win him over. But, on the other hand, you can use the technique of copying the qualities and traits of a person (confidence, wit, willpower, etc.) People often admire what they have in themselves, and it is much more pleasant for them to see a kindred spirit.
Silence
We all remember the not-so-pleasant feeling during awkward pauses in communication, and this feeling can be used to your advantage. The fact is that awkward silence has such a “special” effect on all interlocutors. And if you want to get to know someone better, understand their thoughts, or just “get” them to talk, just shut up. Such a pause will cause a feeling of awkwardness in the interlocutor, and he will involuntarily try to get rid of it by filling this pause.
Small services
And again we are talking about services. People by their nature want to be needed and in demand, involved in the life of another person or group. If you ask others for something, you let them know that you need them, and this really helps to build rapprochement and trust. Ask people to help you with something more often, and soon friendships will begin between you.
Appraising glance
This technique is useful when dealing with suspicious and negative people. When you catch the gaze of someone who is negative towards you (often this is felt non-verbally), look into his eyes for a couple of seconds. Then look at his feet and now again at his eyes. After this, look away. This “silent assessment” technique will demonstrate to the person that you have not recognized him as a threat, that is, you are not afraid of him. At the same time, it is advisable to behave confidently and maintain an even posture.
Admitting mistakes
When you yourself point out your mistakes and shortcomings, you grow in the eyes of others, and such a person can be forgiven a lot. If you want to create trusting relationships with other people, admit your mistakes, especially small and subtle ones. Also, sometimes you can take the blame for something you didn’t do, because... this also increases the trust of other people. But here you must always remember the possible consequences of other people's mistakes.
Agreement
When you need to find a compromise and a mutually beneficial solution, build communication on agreement, that is, on what unites you with other people. For example, if your points of view differ, say: “I agree with you, but...” or “Yes, I understand, although...”. This will help you quickly find a common language and clearly, without confrontation, convey your opposite position to your opponent.
Neutrality
A balanced approach contributes to more effective problem solving in all spheres of life. If you want a person to meet you halfway and begin to trust you, show him during communication that you are ready to listen to him and accept arguments and arguments. By maintaining an adequate and neutral position, you will demonstrate self-confidence and interest in your interlocutor.
Attention to detail
Many problems and controversial issues are resolved thanks to the competent structure of the discussion. When participating in negotiations, you should not dispute the main topic. Instead, you need to focus on secondary issues. For example, you need to rent an additional warehouse. Do not ask those present whether rent is needed, but immediately discuss how it will be paid for. In this case, renting a warehouse will be perceived as a necessity.
Handle bite
A good technique for changing your own condition. We are sure you know that when you smile, your body produces the hormone of joy – endorphin. If you are in a bad mood and nothing makes you happy, you can try to change it by biting your hand. By biting a pen, you make yourself smile artificially, as a result of which endorphins are again produced. After this action, your condition should improve at least a little.
Avoiding “but” and “however”
The words “but” and “however” are often perceived as refusal. Of course, you won’t be able to get rid of them completely, but it’s worth reducing their use unnecessarily. The less you use them, the less tense communication situations will arise. If you need to say something like “yes, but...”, it is better to replace it with “yes, and...”. You will see for yourself that people perceive the second phrase more positively than the first.
Listening skills
Competent listening is a valuable skill that not every person possesses. But it is precisely this that allows you to establish trust, make a good impression and understand people deeper. Therefore, even if you have the information, it is more advisable to let your interlocutor speak out, tell you how to do it right, and even teach. People love to talk, and the longer a person can talk in your presence, the more pleasure he will get from communicating with you.
"Yes, I remember" technique
This technique is suitable “against” people who strive to once again tell what they have already told dozens of times. If the interlocutor begins to tell his “crown” story again, do not interrupt him. Just say at a convenient moment: “yes, I remember,” and then continue the story with a few phrases. This way your interlocutor will understand that you shouldn’t repeat yourself, and you will be known as an attentive person who cares about other people’s words.
People's names
The phrase “A person’s most favorite sound is the sound of his name” has great meaning, because we all enjoy being called by name. Use your interlocutor's name in conversation as often as possible, and you will be surprised at how much he likes you. But still be guided by a sense of proportion, so as not to seem strange and not turn your counterpart against yourself.
These are the psychological techniques we wanted to tell you about. Remember them, use them and try to catch when someone uses them towards you. This way you will be able to recognize attempts to psychologically influence yourself, as well as expand the area of application of these techniques, because you will know how other people do it. However, we want to give some more useful tips and recommendations.
Subtleties of Sedona
There are three ways to approach the release process, and they all lead to the same result: releasing your natural ability to let go of any unwanted emotions in place and allow some of the repressed energy in your subconscious to dissipate.
The first way is to let go of the unwanted feeling. The second way is to welcome the feeling, to allow the emotion to simply be. The third way is to dive into the heart of emotions.
You will find that when you work with the Sedona Method, it will give you much more than you bargained for or even dreamed of.
Additional psychological techniques
These techniques are also very easy to use in everyday life. And if you want, knowing about them, you can simply make interesting observations of people’s behavior. We won’t look at it in detail – we’ll just point out the essence:
- To calm down and relieve nervous tension, you can chew gum, because chewing movements remind the brain of eating, and eating is associated with safety and pleasure.
- If several people are laughing in a group, everyone will look at the one he likes best, or at the one he would like to treat as a close person.
- When you are not satisfied with the answer of the interlocutor, or you want to receive it in a more detailed form, do not ask or ask for anything. It is enough to look carefully into the eyes of your counterpart - he will intuitively understand that he needs to continue the conversation.
- If you remain completely calm when someone yells at you, you can make the other person feel guilty for yelling and being overly emotional.
- Just as emotions influence facial expressions, facial expressions influence emotions. To feel a dose of fun and happiness, put an artificial smile on your face. Very soon you will notice that it has become much easier to smile sincerely.
- When you have a job interview or interview, imagine that the interlocutor is your good old friend. As a result, you will communicate more freely, become more relaxed, and reduce your stress levels.
- By artificially expressing a little more joy at meeting someone, after a while you will feel that it has actually become much more pleasant for you to see them. In addition, the next time you meet, this person himself will be much more glad to see you.
- If you often work a lot with clients (and people in general), place a mirror somewhere behind you. People will express negativity less often and become more polite, because... no one likes to see themselves irritated and angry.
- When you meet someone, pay attention to the color of that person's eyes. This will create close eye contact, which in itself increases the sympathy of others.
- If you expect someone to criticize you in a meeting or meeting, sit next to that person. This will automatically make him softer, and the pressure of criticism will be much weaker than if you were at a distance from the person.
- People remember more often and better what happened at the beginning and end of the day, and everything between these “points” is remembered as blurry. This trick is useful to use when communicating with friends, during interviews, and when negotiating.
- You can learn something even better if you teach it to someone else. Once you have mastered a new skill, try to share this knowledge with others, and you will become much better at it.
- When interacting with people, pay attention to the position of their feet to learn what emotions they are feeling. For example, if, when approaching a person, you see that he turned around, but his feet remained in place, he is not inclined towards you. Feet pointing in your direction will indicate interest and attention. Feet “looking” to the sides symbolize openness. And feet brought together are a sign of discomfort.
- When you have to squeeze through a crowd of people, find gaps between them and look there. People will automatically give way to you because... will capture the trajectory of your movement.
- When expressing your thoughts, try not to say “it seems to me” or “I think.” This is already implied, but these phrases are often perceived by others as a sign of self-doubt.
- To make people like you more, strive to understand how they see themselves in their own eyes. Once you understand this, maintain this image in your communications so that people feel that you see them as they want to appear.
- If you are planning a date and want to get closer to your partner and experience unusual emotions, adrenaline will help you. You can fly on an airplane, ride horses, go river rafting or go to the movies to see a horror movie.
- If you have a date in a place where you can get positive emotions (a romantic park, a cozy retro-style restaurant, the seashore at sunset, etc.), you can be sure that pleasant impressions will always be associated with you in your partner’s mind.
- Physiologically, stress is often expressed in the same way as joyful excitement: increased heart rate, deep breathing, emotional intensity, etc. If you perceive stressful situations as if they are a challenge for you, the negative impact of stress will be significantly reduced.
- When you notice that someone is looking at you intently, just yawn - the person will immediately turn away. Firstly, no one likes to watch others yawn, and secondly, this person will most likely yawn himself, which will make him look away.
- In a situation where there is a conflict, quarrel or even a fight between two people, take something edible, stand between these people and start eating. The likelihood that you will be hit or that the conflict will escalate is very low. By the way, this trick is called the snackman effect.
- If you want to get rid of an item in your hands, start a conversation with another person and give the item to him. It is best to ask some question - this will “load” the interlocutor’s brain as much as possible, and he will accept the object from your hands at a reflex level.
- Do not let others in on your problems unnecessarily, because they are most concerned about their own. When choosing a topic for conversation, avoid issues that interest you personally and focus on what is interesting to others. By doing this, you will seem like a very attentive and interesting conversationalist.
- A handshake can instantly change a person's condition. By presenting your hand with your palm up, you will show the openness of your intentions and win the person over. By presenting your hand with your palm down, you will show authority, and the person will not feel very comfortable in your company. And if you want to reassure your other half, take her hand with both hands, and your partner will feel protected next to you.
These are not all the psychological techniques and tricks with which you can influence the mood, state and consciousness of people. But they are quite enough for a start, and you will learn many others in practice, being attentive to the behavior of yourself and those around you. And on the pages of our website we will talk about such things more than once.
For now, let's summarize. And as a small conclusion, we offer you a wonderful video, the author of which talks about the secrets of the charisma and charm of Graham Norton, a famous Irish TV presenter, actor and comedian.
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- How to communicate with manipulators
- How to Deal with Difficult People
- Development of communication skills
- Psychological pressure and how to resist it
- How to communicate with anyone, anywhere?
- Body language for self-confidence
- Nonverbal communication
- Effective communication techniques: a selection of useful materials
- Language of the body
- How to leave a good first impression. Secrets of Leila Lowndes
Key words:1Psychoregulation
Sedona method
The Sedona Method is a unique, simple, powerful, easy-to-learn psychological technique that shows you how to tap into your natural abilities and let go of any painful or unwanted feeling in the present moment.
What makes the Sedona Method a powerful tool? The first thing is that it is a process that you can use anytime, anywhere to improve any area of your life.
Conditions for the effectiveness of consultations with a psychologist
The specificity of psychological counseling is that it becomes effective if a number of factors are combined:
- Specialists consider the problem comprehensively and do not focus on solving immediate problems, which most often have a temporary effect. A psychologist should focus on resolving deep internal conflicts.
- The qualifications of consultants allow you to create an atmosphere of trust and establish relationships that allow you to obtain all the required information about the problems and inner world of the client, and use the methods of influence that are required to achieve the desired result.
- A person who seeks help behaves prudently and disciplinedly: attends all meetings, performs independent work to the required extent, and provides reliable information about his conditions.
- The methods of influence and the structure of the consultation are based on the individual characteristics of the client’s personality.
- The psychologist is not able to do the work for the client. Therefore, the motivational part remains the most important for all consulting work.
Advantages
As you continue to use the Sedona Method, you will become more adept at using it and the results will accelerate significantly over time. You will quickly reach a point where release becomes second nature.
No matter your circumstances, the Sedona Method will show you how you can achieve wealth and success, improve relationships, find peace and happiness, health and well-being.
This will help you create the life you choose in this moment. This means that you will literally be free to have, be and do whatever you want or desire. This process is backed by tons of scientific research, celebrity endorsements, and the success of hundreds of thousands of people who have achieved amazing results in every area of their lives.
Is it possible to counsel friends and family?
Personal counseling by a specialist in the field of psychology of your friends, family and friends is not considered correct for a number of reasons:
- Worrying about the state of people you know prevents the psychologist from perceiving the situation objectively; emotions are a bad adviser.
- If the problem worsens, it is possible that the person who recklessly gave recommendations will be considered to blame for the outcome of the case. Moreover, this can happen regardless of whether the person being counseled followed the advice or not.
- It is possible that the specialist will make a mistake. It will be difficult for him to accept the consequences professionally - to draw conclusions and continue to work.
The material issue cannot be ignored. A large amount of time will be spent on providing assistance, a considerable amount of information will be processed, but not everyone is able to demand payment from a loved one. In addition, people are not inclined to treat properly what they got for free.
Basics of Counseling
Psychological consultation is based on the principles of humanistic philosophy and integral perception of personality.
Laws and rules, goals and values of the client’s individual coordinate system, his beliefs and picture of the world are the material with which the consultant psychologist works.
The result confirming the truth of the chosen technique is considered to be: the absence of emotional symptoms of tension and discomfort, the disappearance of psychological difficulties in interpersonal relationships and the activities of the subject who asked for help.
Relationships with others, characteristics of a person’s behavior in the recent past and now, and her immediate mental state serve as sources of data for psychodiagnostics.
Working with a person, a psychologist:
- most often spends a short time with the client - 5-6 meetings;
- influences the subject’s behavior primarily through changing his attitudes toward other people, the nature and forms of relationships with them;
- the purpose of consultations is to eliminate harmful stereotypes of information processing, perception and response that have taken root in thinking;
- the client-consultant relationship represents a conscious interaction when the subject makes independent decisions to change his own personality;
- To carry out his functions of studying a person’s problem area, a psychologist requires an atmosphere of trust.
Accurate problem definition
After the psychologist has collected information and facts about the case during a consultation, he immediately begins to form working hypotheses to accurately define the problem. A hypothesis is an attempt by a psychologist to understand a child’s situation. In this case, the psychologist can rely on the experience of previous cases, interpretation of the child’s (adolescent’s) situation, and information about the family structure. Testing working hypotheses is the main content of the psychologist’s work at the third stage of psychological consultation. The psychologist encourages the child (teenager) to look at the situation in a new light.
Adler (individual) psychologists, when individually counseling children (adolescents), use the confrontation method to determine the problem - “Could it be...?” The purpose of direct, targeted confrontation is to test the psychologist’s working hypothesis and reveal to the child (adolescent) his true intention or goal in behavior. This is often enough to really influence behavior. In addition, within the framework of K. it is necessary to carry out various psycho-corrective measures aimed at harmonizing the child’s personality. It is important that the psychologist is authorized to reveal the most secret goals of the child (teenager). During the SIB course, the psychologist carefully observes the appearance of the recognition reaction on the child’s face. A child is almost always interested in hearing the psychologist’s point of view. The most effective way to test a hypothesis is to ask, “Could it be...?” and draw the appropriate conclusion depending on whether the behavior in question is erroneous or not. So, the psychologist asks four questions: “Could it be...?”, one for each incorrect goal. The psychologist may change the opening phrase “Could it be...?” to “I wonder if this is...?” Or something like that. Examples of confrontational questions are:
1) The first goal is attention, “Could it be like this...” “...do you want your mother to always be with you?”; 2) The second goal is power: “Is it possible that...” “...do you want to show mom and dad that you are in charge?”; 3) The third goal is revenge: “Is it possible that...” “...everyone is inconveniencing you, so you just pay them back?”; 4) The fourth goal is feigned incompetence: “Is it possible that...” “...no matter how hard you try, nothing good will come of it, and therefore there is no point in trying?”
The Adler (individual) psychologist strongly recommends that the psychologist reveal the goals to the child (teenager), because by repeating their opinion about the reasons for the misconduct, the parents introduce an element of guilt, and the child stops listening to them.
Features of counseling children with a psychologist
The tasks and goals of counseling adults and children are similar, but due to the immaturity and lack of independence of the younger generation, the methods need to be transformed.
Differences when working with children:
- Deviations in development, which serve as the reason for contacting a psychologist, are noticed by teachers or parents, and not by the children themselves. The initiative to seek help, accordingly, also does not come from them.
- The child's psyche changes quickly, so it is important that the corrective effect has a quick effect. Delay can lead to the accumulation of negative consequences.
- Responsibility for the results cannot be placed on the subject, since his self-awareness and mental activity are not fully formed, and his immediate environment has a great influence.
Psychological methods for influencing children are behavioral in nature and based on gaming techniques. The consultant receives a large amount of information from the child’s parents, most often the mother.
Often, working with a child turns into family therapy, since the family plays a significant role in education and upbringing.
Auditing
In the Church of Scientology, auditing is a process in which an auditor receives a person, known as a "preclear", who, under his guidance, gets rid of any negative situations associated with memories. Auditing originated as an integral part of the Dianetics movement and has since become a core practice in Scientology when used in conjunction with the E-Meter. Auditing is defined by the Scientology sect as the application of the processes and procedures of Dianetics or Scientology to improve a person's life and abilities. One formal definition of auditing is the act of asking a person questions that he can understand and answer. Auditing is considered a technical operation which, according to the Church, lifts the burdened person, the "preclear", from the level of spiritual distress to the level of understanding and inner self-realization. This process is intended to enable the individual to purify their soul.
Stages of psychological auditing technique:
- The preclear assumes a comfortable position and, at the auditor's command, recalls the traumatic event.
- The auditor asks the preclear leading questions to help him fully “re-experience” the event through memory and find charged traumatic memory elements (i.e., engrams) in it.
- The preclear gets to the end of the event, after which he either feels better and is released from the engrams, or the process is repeated again until the preclear feels obvious relief.
History of the method
It was created by a psychologist named Lester Levenson after a heart attack in 1952. The doctor sent him home, telling Levenson that he would die at about 42 years of age. After checking to see if he had the pills to end it and take his own life, Levenson sat down and thought about the deep philosophy of all the ideas he had learned in his life and came to the conclusion that they were all powerless at the moment. He noticed that he felt happy when he remembered times in his life that involved loving other people. He focused on this and began to feel better, physically and emotionally. After a few months he felt quite well and eventually came up with a belief system about the negative feelings and allowed them, at least some of them, to pass. Later, this psychological technique for working with memories became known as the Sedona method. Levenson lived another forty-two years without ever seeing a doctor, as he told a group of his students in 1990. Lester contracted abdominal cancer and died in 1994.
After Levenson's death, his movement to "release stress through the release of negative feelings" split into two branches, led by his students Larry Crane and Gail Dwoskin.
Crane is a former agent of Hollywood star Joan Collins, a very self-confident person. He founded his graduate school in Southern California, focused it primarily on developing prosperity consciousness, and called the Sedona Method the “Release Technique,” essentially changing the original name.
Dvoskin is more of a consultant than a guru. He continues the work of his teacher Levenson in Phoenix. Dvoskin later moved his school to Sedona and now trains psychologists. He is the CEO of Sedona Training Associates.