What is a child's self-esteem
A child’s self-esteem is the preschooler’s perception of his qualities, his character and personality. It reflects his opinion of himself as a person. In early childhood, a child evaluates primarily his physical capabilities and appearance. As he gets older, he pays attention to his practical skills and begins to realize the value of moral qualities.
Self-awareness and self-esteem in preschool age begin to have a powerful influence on all the child’s actions, on his relationships with teachers, parents or other children.
A child’s self-esteem is greatly influenced by the attitude of those around him, that is, the opinion of children and adults regarding his actions, ability to do certain things, express his emotions, and obey specific norms of behavior.
The child must master the skill of relating and coordinating his own desires and intentions with the plans and capabilities of other people, finding a common language with them, and anticipating their assessment of his actions, motives and manifestations of emotions. To characterize the self-esteem of preschool children, the key is the influence of the activity that becomes the main one for them. Such leading activities are directly related to the success that the child can show in school. It is necessary to teach a child to control his behavior, since without self-control a healthy and adequate assessment of his personality is impossible. At every stage of their work, children must maintain attention, accuracy and patience. The development of these qualities immediately produces positive results, which, in turn, become the key to a strong positive child’s self-esteem.
Prerequisites and stages of formation of self-esteem
The unborn baby begins to develop self-esteem. The fact of the emotional connection between mother and child has long been proven. A woman’s experiences directly affect the fetus. If the pregnancy is desired, the mother happily carries the baby; its cellular memory is able to record this fact. This accordingly influences the emergence of important personal qualities that remain with a person throughout his life.
After the baby is born, the development of his self-esteem occurs in four stages:
From birth to one and a half years
This is the period of tactile sensations, when the baby learns the world through touch, the care of parents and loved ones. The desired baby already in utero receives subconscious information that he is needed and significant. Once born, he needs appropriate care from his family. In infants, the analysis process is absent, but a picture emerges unconsciously:
- fed on time, lulled to sleep, played with - it means “I’m good”;
- they forgot, cry for a long time, don’t pay attention - “I’m bad, no one needs me.”
That is, from the first day of life it is important to provide the baby with enough warmth, care, and attention.
From one and a half to 3-4 years
During this period, children actively explore the world. They do this in various ways. Along with constructive actions, destructive ones can also be observed (unscrewing the wheels of a car, etc.) Depending on the reaction of loved ones, certain aspects of self-esteem are formed. Criticism and outright negativity are unacceptable. It is better to control the situation by acting subtly and delicately. It is necessary to make the baby feel independent, capable of taking responsibility for what he has done. And if something doesn’t work out, support and offer to try again.
From 4 to 6 years
Middle and senior preschool age is characterized by the emergence of awareness of oneself and one’s place among peers. It is important to a child how many friends he has, why someone doesn’t want to communicate with him, etc. When analyzing the situation, the child tends to look for the reason in himself. Therefore, if dad is tired and does not want to play ball, he should explain this to his son or daughter. Otherwise, the child will decide that the reason for his reluctance to communicate lies in his bad behavior. He will think and remember what he did wrong. That is, an unjustified feeling of guilt will appear, which negatively affects the formation of self-esteem.
From 6 to 14 years old
A difficult, interesting, lengthy stage. Here comes the formation of such qualities as:
- interest in the labor process and achieving results;
- assessment of his actions by other team members.
A child may have an unusual hobby, but rejection of his interests by others can negatively affect his development. A person will simply lose confidence in himself due to difficulties and misunderstandings in the team.
Mistakes should not be made at any stage in the development of a child’s self-esteem. Every missed moment will affect the life position of an adult.
How is the self-esteem of younger schoolchildren formed?
Great attention should be paid to the development of self-esteem in primary school age. Appropriate activities should take place regularly in the classroom. Children who have not yet reached the age of 7 years are not able to consciously form an assessment of personality. They think in images. Preschool children develop only a conscious interest in self-esteem.
The development of self-esteem in preschool age occurs gradually and has its own special features. When children first enter the school environment, they tend to divide their classmates into groups. Mentally they call some good and others bad, some weak and others strong. Hierarchy in a children's team can form unusually quickly. After only 3-4 months in the classroom in the first year of study, all roles are fairly clearly distributed. However, over time, school success and achievements change social roles and hierarchical connections in the children's team. The child’s self-esteem begins to be strongly influenced by teachers’ comments and grades for completed assignments. The student constantly compares himself with other children. When peers or older generations strive to support such comparison, the child begins to perceive it as the main tool of self-esteem, whatever that may be.
How a child perceives his first grades is of great importance. Younger schoolchildren, who often have unstable self-esteem and low self-esteem, do not easily come to terms with low scores received for homework or answers at the board. Internally, they do not agree with this assessment of their activities and often create conflict situations. However, conflicts only make the situation worse. Emotional tension increases, excitement intensifies, and the child becomes confused.
Gradually, children begin to perceive grades as labels and transfer grades for this or that activity to the individual. For example, a student who receives a C on several tests begins to seem to his classmates as not a very good person, whose character and abilities can also only be assessed as 3 points. This is how children develop the habit of sticking labels and transferring teachers’ evaluative statements onto the personality of their peers as a whole.
The formation of correct self-esteem is rarely done purposefully, giving the child the opportunity to independently form an opinion about himself. However, few children can correctly assess their character and actions, so in most cases children need the delicate and unobtrusive help of wise adults.
Features of self-esteem of younger schoolchildren
Psychologists have conducted in-depth diagnostic studies among a large number of junior schoolchildren. They were able to find out that children of this age have different types of self-esteem: adequate, overestimated and underestimated. Each of these types of self-esteem can be stable or flexible. All children can be divided into several groups, according to the types of self-esteem they have:
- Children of primary school age with adequate self-esteem usually look energetic and active. They can be called resourceful and diligent. They learn with pleasure, are not averse to criticism, they are open to communication and have a sense of humor. They find new tasks attractive and interesting. They do not have to make significant efforts to maintain friendship.
- Children whose self-esteem is consistently high put a lot of effort into succeeding in activities of any kind. They like to be completely independent in their decisions and choice of friends. They don't respect social rules. If a child has high self-esteem, he is usually self-confident and believes that he can achieve great success both academically and in interpersonal relationships without the help and support of others.
- Younger schoolchildren, whose self-esteem is inflated, but at the same time unstable, tend to evaluate themselves too highly, exaggerate their capabilities, overestimate personal qualities and the results of their work. They try to take on tasks that they are clearly unable to complete. When they fail (and this is most often the case), they either change activities abruptly or stubbornly continue to insist that they can do the job. They form numerous social connections, but almost always fragile ones.
- If a child has low self-esteem, he will prefer the easiest tasks and assignments, because he has a better chance of completing them. The process of studying causes him anxiety and excitement. Such a child has no achievements on the basis of which he can evaluate himself more highly, but he strives not to lose at least the self-esteem that he has. Increasing self-esteem in such circumstances becomes extremely necessary, because, having a bad opinion of himself, the child does not understand how to communicate correctly, what to do in class and how to build relationships with adults. He subconsciously expects trouble from everyone around him. He develops a negative internal position.
Features of the formation of self-esteem in children of primary school age article
Features of the formation of self-esteem in children of primary school age
Educational activity requires the child to be able to coordinate his actions with the requirements of the teacher, with the routine of school life, with the actions and desires of classmates. Awareness of this new position causes a restructuring of the child’s attitude towards many things in his daily life. The thought that he is a schoolboy makes him change his behavior in one way or another. He has new motives for behavior - to be a good student, to achieve the teacher’s praise. Classes at school also give rise to new experiences - the desire and expectation of success, and the fear of failure. The younger student is concerned about the teacher’s comments, and he tries to make efforts to avoid them. Children usually willingly obey the new regime and agree with their parents’ demands on the schedule of classes, leisure time, and walks. Entering school puts the child in a new position in the family, among others and changes their attitude towards him. The child has clear responsibilities - and those close to him take this into account. The changed perception of the child by the people around him gradually affects his perception of himself.
The child's new role places special demands on his daily life. He has new ideas about how to behave at school, what his responsibilities are in relation to his comrades. At the same time, ideas about their rights appear - the right to carry out some errands around the house, the right to be graded for completing a task. This desire of a small schoolchild to demonstrate his new position among people, to actually implement his new rights and responsibilities, must be taken into account by parents and teachers.
At school, the child encounters a clear and detailed system of moral requirements. Elders make sure that these requirements are met and assimilated by children - this is the way to form their socially oriented personality. “Appeal to the collective” leads to the fact that the younger student begins to consciously subordinate his awakenings to the common goals and tasks that face him and his peers, and learns to manage his behavior. Changes in the moral sphere are associated with the emergence of a primary school student’s own views, relationships, own requirements and assessments. What changes occur in the self-esteem of a primary school student? With the advent of new types of activities, with the emergence of new connections with others, the child also develops some new criteria, measures of assessment, both of his comrades and of himself. Based on the judgments of the teacher, parents and friends, he evaluates himself - in relation to everything related to school. This does not mean that his assessments are correct - the opposite is often the case. Self-assessment speaks more about the child’s desires than about the actual state of affairs. A first-grader child can be sure that he is a good student (although he does not sit well in class and does not master learning skills well), since he brings a lot of effort and zeal to his work. He begins to evaluate his classmates not only from the point of view of how they play during breaks. But also from the point of view of their qualities as students (knowledgeable - little-knowledgeable, active - passive). This is how new categories of valued phenomena and, accordingly, assessments appear in the student’s life. At first he is poorly aware of this, but in his behavior, in his attitude to the facts of school life, in his statements on this or that matter, this is clearly revealed. In the formation of self-esteem of a primary school student, a huge role is played by the evaluative influences of the teacher. The role of these influences on the formation of schoolchildren’s self-esteem is revealed in a number of studies (B.G. Ananyev, L.I. Bozhovich, A.I. Lipkina). The authors point out the need to take into account the motives of schoolchildren for pedagogical assessment of their actions, reveal the complexity of schoolchildren’s attitudes towards pedagogical assessment and the experiences caused by it, and emphasize the transformative nature of the action of pedagogical assessment, which affects the degree to which the student is aware of his own level of development. The need for clarity and certainty in pedagogical assessment is noted. Even a negative (deserved) assessment is more useful for self-esteem than an “uncertain assessment.” Having mastered certain norms and values in the process of learning and upbringing, the student begins, under the influence of the value judgments of others (teachers, peers), to relate in a certain way, both to the real results of his educational activities, and to himself as an individual. With age, he increasingly distinguishes between his actual achievements and what he could achieve if he possessed certain personal qualities. Thus, in the educational process, the student develops an attitude towards assessing his capabilities - one of the main components of self-esteem.
Self-esteem reflects what the child learns about himself from others, and his increasing own activity aimed at realizing his actions and personal qualities. Children have different attitudes towards the mistakes they make. Some, having completed the assignment, carefully check it, others immediately give it to the teacher, others delay the work for a long time, especially if it is a test, for fear of letting it slip out of their hands. To the teacher’s remark: “You made a mistake in your work,” students react differently. Some ask not to indicate where the error is, but to give them the opportunity to find it and correct it themselves. Others ask anxiously: “Where? Which?" — and unconditionally agreeing with the teacher, humbly accepting his help. Still others immediately try to justify themselves by citing circumstances. The attitude towards mistakes made, towards one’s own mistakes, shortcomings not only in learning, but also in behavior is the most important indicator of a person’s self-esteem.
A child's self-esteem is found not only in how he evaluates himself, but also in how he views the achievements of others. Children with high self-esteem do not necessarily praise themselves, but they are willing to deny everything that others do. Students with low self-esteem, on the contrary, tend to overestimate the achievements of their friends.
Children with high self-esteem were distinguished by their activity and desire to achieve success both in learning and in social work, as well as in games.
Children with low self-esteem behave completely differently. Their main feature is self-doubt. In all their endeavors and affairs, they expect only failure. During the educational process, schoolchildren gradually become more critical and demanding of themselves. First-graders predominantly evaluate their educational activities positively, and failures are associated only with objective circumstances. Second-graders, especially third-graders, are already more critical of themselves, making the subject of evaluation not only good, but also bad deeds, not only successes, but also failures in learning.
The independence of self-esteem gradually increases. If the self-esteem of first-graders almost completely depends on assessments of their behavior and performance results by the teacher and parents, then students of the second and third grades evaluate achievements more independently, making, as we have already said, the subject of critical assessment and the evaluative activity of the teacher himself (is he always right, is he objective? ). Throughout schooling, already within the primary grades, the meaning of a grade for a child changes significantly; at the same time, it is in direct connection with the motives of learning, with the requirements that the student himself places on himself. The child’s attitude towards the assessment of his achievements is more and more connected with the need to have the most reliable idea of himself. Consequently, the role of school grades is not limited to the fact that they should influence the student’s cognitive activity. By assessing knowledge, the teacher essentially simultaneously evaluates the individual, his capabilities, and his place among others. This is exactly how children perceive grades. Based on the teacher's assessments, they rank themselves and their comrades as excellent, average, weak, diligent or not diligent, responsible or irresponsible, disciplined or undisciplined. Thus, the assessment of academic performance at the beginning of school is essentially an assessment of the personality as a whole and determines the social status of the child.
A.I. Lipkina, studying the dynamics of self-esteem in primary school, identified the following trend. For underachieving and extremely weak students, systematic failures and low grades reduce their self-confidence and their abilities. Their self-esteem develops in a unique way. Initially, children do not agree with the position of laggards, which is assigned to them in grades 1-2, and strive to maintain high self-esteem. If they are asked to evaluate their work, for example, a dictation or presentation, most will rate the completed task with a higher score than it deserves. At the same time, they focus not so much on what they have achieved, but on what they want: “I’m tired of getting bad marks. I want at least a three.” “The teacher never gives me four, everything is C or D, I gave myself four.” “I’m no worse than everyone else, I can also have four.” The unrealized need to get out of the ranks of those lagging behind and acquire a higher status is gradually weakening. The number of children lagging behind in their studies, who consider themselves even weaker than they actually are, increases almost three times from 1st to 4th grade.
Self-esteem, inflated at the beginning of training, sharply decreases. Persistent low self-esteem is very rare. All this suggests that the self-esteem of a junior schoolchild is dynamic and at the same time tends to be stable.
Constantly faced with evaluations of his academic work and the work of his classmates, the younger student begins to understand, to a certain extent, his own strengths and educational capabilities. He develops a certain level of aspirations for grades for writing, oral answers, etc. Initially, the level of aspirations is stable, but then this level is established, and it is characteristic that it is sufficiently differentiated, i.e. depends on what the child is doing and how significant it is for him.
The main tendency in the development of self-esteem is the child’s gradual identification of certain qualities from individual types of activities and actions, generalizing them and understanding them first as behavioral characteristics, and then as relatively stable personality traits. Some of the assessments are transferred by the child to himself - these are assessments of behavior and personality traits. Already after the first half of the year, a first-grader has fairly clear criteria for assessing the results of educational work. In this case, the following pattern emerges: first, the child develops evaluation criteria and their application in relation to others, and then – and far from fully formed – in relation to himself.
Most children can, even at the end of the first year of schooling, pre-figure out the qualities of a person, which reveal themselves in certain forms of behavior: strong, dexterous, fast, polite, rude, etc. But he finds it difficult to assess the qualities in which a person’s internal attitude towards other people is manifested. Assessing oneself in this regard seems to be an even more difficult task for a first-grader. In relation to a number of his qualities, he generally finds it difficult to give an answer, and in relation to those about which he can say something, subjectivity and inaccuracy are revealed.
Often schoolchildren have a clear overestimation of their strengths and capabilities. A feeling of arrogance may appear: unreasonably overestimating his capabilities, the student sets himself tasks that he cannot complete. Inflated self-esteem conflicts with other people’s assessment of it, meets resistance from the team and can cause conflict in relations with its members. In addition, repeated collisions of inadequate, inflated self-esteem with failures in practical activities give rise to severe emotional breakdowns. A clear overestimation of one’s capabilities is very often accompanied by internal self-doubt, which leads to acute feelings and inappropriate behavior. But if schoolchildren have not had time to develop a stable, inflated self-esteem, or in the process of studying such children, the sources that gave rise to and support their inadequate self-esteem have become clear, then there is a possibility of changing the experiences of such children and bringing their behavior back to normal. It should be noted that from class to class the ability to correctly assess oneself and one’s capabilities increases, but at the same time the tendency to overestimate oneself decreases. Subsequently, self-esteem passes into the internal position of the individual, becomes a motive for behavior and influences the formation of certain personality qualities. The study of this problem in the context of education and raising children is relevant, first of all, because it is a way to resolve the issue of the psychological health of the student. A successful relationship between a teacher and a student, a student and his classmates contributes to the personal development of the child and includes him in productive activities, increases psychological activity, and ensures persistence in solving a particular problem.
Functions of self-esteem of younger schoolchildren
Student self-esteem performs several functions:
- educational - when a child performs exercises and then evaluates their results, he repeats the educational material again;
- stimulating - uncompleted exercises encourage the student to put in more effort next time;
- motivational - fosters the desire to achieve one’s goals;
- analytical - encourages the use of structural thinking and organizing experience and knowledge.
Psychology considers all these functions to be key for the age-related development of children. Any activity - school, household or play - gives the child the opportunity to develop certain skills. Adequate self-esteem of a preschooler is based on the totality of their correct assessment.
Why is self-esteem needed?
Self-esteem helps you adequately assess your strengths and capabilities. The child can also evaluate actions and divide them into good and bad. If a child is motivated correctly, then self-esteem helps him gather strength and not give up at the first failure in completing a particular task. The role of self-esteem in a child’s life is very important.
The most common values for a child’s self-assessment include the following roles:
Self-assessment performs the following functions:
- motivates;
- develops the ability for self-analysis;
- teaches;
- stimulates.
It is thanks to adequate self-esteem that children are able to study well, engage in their favorite hobbies and build healthy relationships with peers.
Diagnosis of self-esteem of a junior schoolchild
Modern pedagogy can offer a variety of methods and exercises that allow you to find out the opinion of preschoolers about themselves. Special events that are designed to determine what a student’s self-esteem is should be held before lessons so that children’s thinking and emotions are not overloaded.
The method for determining self-esteem is usually complex, that is, it includes at least 3-4 different exercises:
- The teacher invites the child to depict himself, to draw. The student must describe the drawing and explain whether he likes the person he depicted. The teacher should ask which qualities of the drawn boy or girl are the best and which are the worst.
- An important part of the technique is to invite children to come up with new names for themselves. Children's imagination often exceeds all the expectations of adults, and the named names can provide a lot of information to psychologists.
- The test method is also popular: children are given questionnaire forms, and they give answers to the questions, which are then processed.
Diagnosis of self-esteem should be comprehensive. It is done in order to understand whether the self-esteem of preschoolers needs adjustment, and if so, what kind of adjustment. Adequate self-esteem is rare in a primary school student. It is important to remember that self-esteem at this age can change quickly, so diagnostic exercises should be carried out at least once a month.
Low self-esteem in a child
Very low self-esteem in a child is not very common. Each such child has a dramatic experience of difficult family circumstances. Most often these are seriously ill or alcoholic parents. Occasionally, low self-esteem is recorded in children whose parents adhere to an extremely authoritarian parenting style. Such fathers and mothers are ready to use physical punishment at any time. Therefore, the child grows up in fear and constant stress. Such children usually behave quite modestly, easily agree with peers and teachers, prefer to stay in the background, are reluctant to participate in general games and do not like to answer in front of the whole class. It is extremely difficult for them to achieve their goals, as well as to complete homework and be creative. Their self-realization suffers greatly, since they are always constrained, withdrawn and avoid communication.
Younger schoolchildren who have low self-esteem usually refuse tasks offered to them, because they are not confident in their strengths and abilities to cope with assignments. They have a very great fear of making a mistake, because at home they can be severely punished for any offense. Because of these behavioral characteristics, preschoolers with low self-esteem have very few friends. Their personal qualities are poorly developed. Peers do not have the opportunity to establish strong friendships with them, because such children cannot correctly evaluate themselves. Criticism for them is a sore point; two extremes are possible here: either the child perceives any remark extremely sharply, negatively and painfully, or he is absolutely indifferent to criticism and completely ignores it.
Self-awareness and self-esteem in preschool children begin to determine the social status of the preschooler. Teachers and other adults should remember this, because a careless word or a biased assessment can have a detrimental effect on social connections and low self-esteem in a child. Children must be accepted as they are, and in any case treated with understanding and love.
A special period for the formation of self-esteem
A sharp decline in self-esteem is possible when a child enters school. Parents really want their son or daughter to be the best, and they themselves are praised for their upbringing. And if a teacher complains about a student, moms and dads get disappointed and angry. Moreover, they are angry with themselves, with their unjustified expectations. And they take out the negativity on the child.
The first-grader feels that the adults have united and become “one line.” Together they begin to teach and express negativity towards the child. How can you avoid lowering your self-esteem?
Parents need to understand that they are support, that “wall” on which you can lean. Even if there are bad grades or something is wrong with behavior, relatives need to take the side of the younger family member. Try to figure it out, help. Tell the teacher: “You may be right in some ways, but we diligently did our homework yesterday. We’ll learn some more and fix everything.” And for your son or daughter, find words that will help restore balance. That is, to praise for efforts around the house, etc.
In any situation, the child must remember that his parents love him! Talk about it, show it with actions. The baby should know that no matter how angry mom (dad) is, they are there and will always support.
In some situations, visits to a psychologist are necessary to determine the level of self-esteem. This will help adults understand whether they behave correctly in specific situations and in general towards their child.
High self-esteem in a child
Inflated self-esteem in a child is a signal that the student needs the help of a psychologist. Children with high self-esteem tend to be very active. They enjoy being leaders and getting other children to participate in their own games. They willingly offer their ideas and get others to participate in the entertainment they choose. They want and enjoy being the first in everything. Self-affirmation is very important for them. Therefore, they use every opportunity for self-realization 100%.
Thanks to self-esteem, children learn to negotiate a compromise, build interpersonal relationships, give an objective assessment of their capabilities and set themselves feasible goals. Guys with extremely high self-esteem often express their emotions very clearly and loudly. They strive to attract as much attention to themselves as possible, but at the same time they are distinguished by strong snobbery and disregard for the feelings of other people. Despite obvious leadership abilities, such children are unable to become good friends and win the respect of their classmates. Teachers claim that even the results of tests or competitions are not taken seriously by schoolchildren with high self-esteem and continue to consider themselves better than other children. Their reaction to criticism and remarks is often aggressive. When classmates or adults do not meet their expectations, a child with high self-esteem may use violence to “punish” other people for their own failures.
Self-esteem in children with disabilities
It is important for special children to understand that they are needed by society and are not a burden. Perception depends on the attitude of the parents. Some treat their child with trepidation and patience, while others may lash out at the baby due to fatigue. Try to find friends with similar interests for this child. A child, doing what he loves, will understand his importance and value. And don’t forget to remind him of what a great guy he is.
It is fair to talk to your child about the fact that not all people are the same, and there are different situations in life, but difficulties are given in order to overcome them. Every day tell your child with disabilities how great he is.
Correction of self-esteem of a junior schoolchild
To understand how to increase a child’s self-esteem, one should turn to the accumulated teaching experience. Modern pedagogical systems suggest avoiding comparing children with each other as much as possible. This protects them from many complexes and conflict situations, and also allows them to develop and build social connections more freely and confidently. This technique is gaining more and more supporters, as it shows excellent results.
Any child is much more comfortable learning, growing and being creative in an environment where his successes are compared with his own activities in an earlier period. The child thus focuses his attention on his own work and makes value judgments primarily about himself. The people around him become his source of psychological support, rather than potential sources of criticism.
Adults should act especially carefully and carefully when a child has to publicly evaluate himself. This is a new experience for most preschoolers, and only a few of them manage to get a positive impression from it. The child needs to be fully supported and helped to overcome internal barriers.
It is better to start evaluating yourself in front of your peers, because it is difficult for a teacher to correct the reaction of the entire class at once. It is much easier to direct the situation in the necessary direction when the number of children is limited. Leading questions to which the child can briefly answer “yes” or “no” can be a good help. They are a kind of hints and teach children to be objective, but not to lose their dignity and remain polite.
It is necessary to instill in children gratitude for evaluation of their activities and respect for critical comments. Primary school age is exactly the time when children should be shown the value of fair and objective assessments of others. This is very important for a child.
A student with healthy self-esteem understands that periodic failures are natural and normal. He takes them calmly and looks for the opportunity to gain useful and valuable experience that will help him be more successful in the future and achieve high results.
Parents often consider praise the main tool for increasing their child’s self-esteem, but this is not entirely correct. Praise must be appropriate and fair. In psychology, it is known that the adult’s task is to find and use the basis for compliments, but the child must trust the adult’s assessment. If children understand that words of encouragement and high grades are actually just an attempt to manipulate them, the value of praise will be neutralized in their eyes, and it will become much more difficult to correct self-esteem in such younger schoolchildren.
Praise and criticism should not be devoid of emotional overtones. Emotional coloring should be moderate, and the adult’s opinion should be absolutely sincere. Children are good at spotting falsehood. Teachers and parents should show wisdom and patience, and not be hypocritical and say what they don’t really mean.
Psychologists say that with age, schoolchildren are less and less inclined to overestimate themselves and their capabilities, and their ability to give themselves a correct assessment increases.
Correcting the self-esteem of younger schoolchildren is a necessary work in any children's group. It should only be carried out by experienced teachers and psychologists. It should be carried out immediately after the self-esteem diagnosis of younger schoolchildren has been completed. The psyche of a child of primary school age is very mobile, it is characterized by great flexibility, and if adjustment is postponed, then after some time it may no longer be appropriate and do more harm than good.
You should always take into account the characteristics of self-esteem of younger schoolchildren and remember that these characteristics depend on age. Schoolchildren who study in grades 4-7 have completely different psychological traits and skills.
How to build adequate self-esteem
First of all, I would like to note that adequate self-esteem is an important indicator in the formation of an individual’s mental health. Such a person is able to perceive reality as it is and, without trying to change the world, easily adapts to life. The success and comfortable existence of an individual in society depends on adequate self-esteem. If you are determined to raise a healthy and happy child, and this is what all parents dream of, think about your behavior.
There comes a period when girls copy their mothers, and boys copy their fathers. Much depends on the attitude of parents towards each other. And remember that children have very developed intuition. Don't try to deceive them with an external picture. If mom or dad are not confident in themselves, cannot defend their opinion and constantly complain about life, you should not think that the baby does not notice this. Below we describe in more detail several effective techniques for developing adequate children's self-esteem. Check yourself to see if everything is fine in your family.
Check whether excessive conditions have been created
Let's say you start to notice that your child is overly criticizing himself. Expressions began to appear in his vocabulary: “I can’t do anything,” “I’ll never succeed,” “I’ll never be able to.” Let's figure it out. The key point here is: “they began to notice.” That is, before the child was cheerful, showed interest in knowledge, and suddenly it doesn’t work out and he doesn’t want anything.
Let's look at an example. Two girls studied in 5-A: Masha and Katya. Both were diligent students, were very friendly, and their parents also communicated well with each other. At one of the family holidays, Katya’s mother said that her daughter has an incredible talent for drawing and she is very happy about it. “Drawing is wonderful, not like some dangerous sport,” the woman said.
For some reason, Masha’s mother immediately decided that the children should definitely go to classes together, without finding out whether her daughter had this talent. “All children love to draw,” she thought. Less than two months had passed when the teacher noted Katya and began recommending her works for all kinds of children's competitions, and the Machines' works were mediocre children's drawings. The girl lost faith in her own abilities, began to study worse due to lack of self-confidence, and did not even want to be friends with her friend, who turned out to be more successful than her.
Everything could have turned out differently if Masha’s mother had not created inflated conditions for her.
Do not force anything on your children, rather help them decide on their desires, and if the child does not have any special talents, praise him for good grades, because this is his work. Just don’t compare him with others in his favor, this may have negative consequences in the future.
Peer opinion
Indeed, the opinion of peers is very important. First, understand the situation: if someone said something bad about your son or daughter, this is not a reason to run to school to restore justice. The child's psyche is a fragile thing and breaks very quickly. The criteria for assessing children are very high and sometimes defy logic.
Children may mock only because a peer is slightly fatter or is a better student than others. If there is open bullying, it is better to transfer to another school. Most likely, absolutely normal and adequate relationships will develop in the new team. Give your teenager a chance to correct the situation on his own and feel important in the team. Have a conversation about what not to do. Remember, you should not criticize your child. You can evaluate actions, but not a person.
If the situation is not critical and the teenager asks for some non-standard items in his wardrobe, so as not to stand out from the crowd of his peers, ask him to justify his request. If he wants ripped jeans, and he made this decision on his own, then why not. Sometimes it is better to sacrifice your parental principles for the future benefit of the whole family.
Praise
Children and adults are very similar. Unless an adult has more responsibility. If the question arises about how to help increase children's self-esteem, listen to yourself. To help you? That's right, praise! You like it when management praises you, even if without a promotion and without an increase in wages, but how nice it is to hear praise for the good result of the work you have done.
So the baby is pleased when you praise him. Just praise for what you do, and not just like that. A developing personality must have a clear understanding of what is good and what is bad. This is how adequate self-esteem and assessment of reality as a whole are formed.
Overcome difficulties
Here again there is an intersection with adult life. For example, you have a catastrophic lack of time to go to the gym, but the desire to get your dream figure outweighs. After a hard day at work, you rush to the gym and after a few months the long-awaited result is noticeable. Would you be proud of yourself? Naturally, yes! Increased self-esteem is guaranteed.
So it is with a child’s self-esteem. Overcoming difficulties, the baby will learn to respect and love himself. You should not aim at global tasks. Start small. Let the baby do pull-ups on the horizontal bar with daddy's help 3-4 times. Achievement? Certainly! Don't forget to praise your son.
Girls, especially in adolescence, are not confident in their beauty and attractiveness. Uncertainty takes a huge toll on self-esteem. Take your daughter to a salon or a photo shoot. See how her mood changes. Transformation in appearance and self-acceptance is an important point in the formation of adequate self-esteem.
Features of adolescent self-esteem
A teenager's self-esteem has its own distinctive features. During adolescence, the child critically evaluates all his experiences. The opinions of other people and personal successes, on which a teenager’s self-esteem was previously based, lose their former meaning in his eyes. His social position among his peers comes first. They are the ones who declare the moral and moral values on which the teenager’s self-esteem is based. For example, for young men, physical training and endurance play a big role. Young girls begin to highly value external attractiveness.
The teenager does not yet have a stable psyche; emotions prevent him from thinking sensibly. Hormonal changes that rapidly occur at this age cause mental instability. Features of self-esteem in adolescence must be taken into account during school classes and events conducted by a psychologist or teacher.
A teenager's self-esteem does not have the flexibility that is inherent in children of preschool or primary school age. However, it can be changed if you choose the right methods and persevere. Adolescents' self-esteem may be completely inconsistent with their behavior, so it should only be assessed by qualified professionals.
The characteristic features of self-esteem in adolescence are temporary. Older schoolchildren have a much more balanced character. At this age they are focused on their future.
The development of self-awareness and self-esteem in preschool age is responsible and necessary work, the fruits of which are not immediately visible, but its importance cannot be overestimated. The self-esteem of younger schoolchildren has a powerful influence on their personality, learning and communication abilities, character development and interest in creative activities. Parents and teachers should know perfectly well how to raise a child’s self-esteem, no matter what life circumstances he or she may be in.
How to increase self-esteem
Self-esteem is much easier to correct in childhood. Parents and teachers are the first helpers in this difficult task. It is difficult for a child to adequately evaluate himself; adults must come to his aid. Help your child find something he likes, be proud of him and encourage his small victories. It is important for a child to know and feel that he is loved and respected. Teach your child to defend his point of view and make it clear that it is impossible to please everyone. Explain that no one will encourage the victim's condition and that it is worth thinking about yourself, of course, not to the detriment of others. Help your child learn to justify their decisions.