Unfortunately, we regularly have to deal with conflicting people. Let's figure out what traits make a personality conflicting, why this happens, and also discuss the main types of conflicting personalities. Knowing what exactly causes conflict in relationships with them, it will be easier to prevent it.
To learn how to approach every person and communicate with anyone, sign up for the online program “Best Communication Techniques”.
1
Uncompromising
A conflicted personality is not ready to make concessions. Even if such a person understands that he is wrong, he will stand his ground. Of course, this will lead to conflict.
For harmonious relationships, you need to be able to conduct reasoned debate, and not just foam at the mouth to defend your position.
Even if the opponent is ready to give in a little and smooth out the conflict, such a person behaves uncompromisingly, which only adds fuel to the fire.
3
Conflict-free type
Yes, this also happens, although the definition sounds a little ridiculous. A conflict-free personality of the conflict-free type simply does not have a strong enough will to express his feelings, and therefore prefers to incite conflict through his inaction rather than through actions or words. Such a person suffers from internal contradictions and instability in his assessments. In addition, he is easily suggestible and in making his decisions he relies on the opinions of the people around him, especially the so-called leaders. There can be no question of any consistency in the actions of the conflict-free type of people: they have little vision of the future, so they are not used to burdening themselves with thoughts about the consequences of their actions. That is why they prefer to focus on fleeting success in conflict situations, trying to come to a compromise.
Inflated self-esteem and narcissism
A conflicted personality also, as a rule, has inflated self-esteem. By putting himself above other people, overestimating his own importance, a person causes negative emotions and provokes conflict.
Often such narcissistic people take on tasks that they are unable to complete, cope with them poorly, but do not notice this and remain convinced that they did everything well. This causes resentment.
It is very important to be able to admit your mistakes, but people with high self-esteem do this poorly.
6
Pessimism, aggression, agreeableness
“Pessimist” is another annoying type of conflict personality. But if he begins to criticize, then there is no need to brush aside his comments, they can be constructive. It is worth minimizing the shortcomings that such a person spoke about and thanking him for his criticism. Then he will feel useful and, quite possibly, become an ally.
“Passive-aggressive” is one of the most difficult types of conflict personality. Such people do not do anything openly, they will not criticize or resist. But if such a person has a specific goal, then it is likely that he will begin to achieve it with the help of other people. These people are secretive and cautious; it is almost impossible to bring them out into the open. It is typical for them to constantly find excuses for unfulfilled tasks and work carelessly. Sometimes such people want to be useful and begin to actively offer their help, although in reality they will not do anything. They find it difficult to complete their tasks, and the best tactic is not to get angry with such a person, because arousing negative emotions in their address is exactly what he is trying to achieve. Such people are strong as long as they remain unnoticed, and if you talk to someone in front of others, he will become confused.
“Super flexible” also agrees with everything. He actively offers his help, but never does anything. And with all this, he firmly believes that no one appreciates his noble impulses. He wants to please everyone and tries to appear helpful. As a result, he accumulates so many obligations that he cannot cope with them. This person does not know how to say “no”, and in order to establish relationships with him, you need to create an emotionally favorable atmosphere in the team.
Tendency to gossip
People who spread rumors are real generators of conflict. Discussing other people behind their back often leads to infighting within the team. Gossipers make other people quarrel, and they themselves don’t mind getting on someone’s nerves.
And even if a person does not spread gossip, but only listens to it and believes it, the likelihood of a conflict still increases. Omissions and unfounded suspicions appear. Someday this hidden discontent will definitely come out.
7
Intolerance of opposition
Conflict-ridden personalities cannot stand other people's points of view. Any contrary opinion should be ridiculed or at least ignored. The world can only be the way they see it. Not otherwise.
Such inertia forces hostility even when the difference in opinions is not critical and it was possible to do without conflicts: a discrepancy in points of view is not a problem in itself. But no, a person who cannot stand opposition will be able to make any minor contradiction a reason for a fierce quarrel.
8
"Sniper", "Leech", "Accuser", "Complainer"
The “sniper” bursts into life with barbs and ridicule, he tries to cause trouble using intrigue, gossip and machinations. It is better not to react to such behavior in any way, and if you attack, then attack it head-on.
"Leech". This type of conflict personality will never blame, be rude or offend anyone. But after communicating with him you will definitely feel tired and in a bad mood. The only thing a person can do in communication is to say how he feels at the end of the conversation. It may be possible to find out the cause of your poor health.
The “accuser” constantly criticizes those around him, and besides him, politicians, doctors, football players and others. He constantly comes up with new unpleasant facts. And it’s better not to stop him, otherwise you’ll have to listen to a barrage of irritation. These people just want to talk it out.
“Complainers” can be realistic and paranoid. They vividly and colorfully describe all kinds of failures and there is no need to prove that they are wrong. Such people also want to speak out. In order not to listen to complaints in the second round, you just need to paraphrase in your own words everything that the interlocutor said, then he will understand that he is being listened to and will calm down.
This is how different people who love conflicts can be. Such a person can clearly show his aggression and dictatorial tendencies, or he may not show himself at all, but at the same time become a catalyst for conflicts.
The desire to argue for the sake of arguing
Many have heard that truth is born in a dispute. This is true when it comes to constructive dispute. Arguments, counterarguments, impartiality, the desire not just to show oneself, but to determine who is really right - all this can lead to the truth. But conflicted individuals do not need this.
They want to argue for the sake of arguing. They enjoy the process itself. They triumph when the exhausted interlocutor simply waves his hand at them and refuses to take part in a verbal skirmish. Such people will not be able to produce truth in a dispute, but there will be more than enough conflicts.
9
Polverara breed of chickens
Origin story.
In comparison with other varieties, which also turned out to be small in number due to the fact that they could not withstand the competition with modern crosses, Polverara is still in a good position.
The number of chickens of this species on our planet is at least 2.5 thousand heads, and this is a relatively good figure when compared with others, of which there are from 10 to 200 heads left in the world. Therefore, there is hope that the feathered beauty will not disappear.
Polverara breed of chickens is a real masterpiece, which was created by people and nature through joint efforts. Unfortunately, like many ancient species, the black chump in question has a lot of facts unknown to modern scientists in its history.
No one really knows exactly how and when exactly the winged beauty was obtained - data about this was lost in time. Today, only the fact is known that the black chickweed appeared on the territory of Italy, and the oldest records about it date back to the beginning of the 14th century. Scientists are still trying to get information about the ancestors of the quonka, but so far without success.
Thanks to advances in technology, it has been discovered that the chicken's ancestors may be Italian and French laying hens. The fact is that the same exterior characteristics are repeated in some French species, and genetic analysis confirms the relationship with the La Flèche breed.
Today, the feathered Italian is included in the standard as a meat-egg, decorative chicken. It is bred mainly in breeding farms in order to preserve the species. But, in Europe, and even in some places in Russia, there are several private farms where poultry farmers also raise this beauty.
Inadequate perception of criticism
Criticism is a catalyst for development. Knowing our shortcomings and weaknesses, we can begin to work on them and become better. But, unfortunately, not everyone adheres to this position.
A conflicted personality takes any criticism with hostility. Even justified and aimed at helping. Therefore, any remark addressed to such people starts the process of formation of conflicts and strife.
These were the general characteristics that make a personality conflicted. Now let's look at the typologies of conflicting personalities.
A little history
Conflicts and conflicting personalities have always aroused interest in their study. In the 50s last century, a discipline called conflictology appeared. This science existed earlier, but was called the sociology of conflicts, and only in the second half of the twentieth century was it able to form into an independent discipline. A huge contribution to the development of this industry was made by the work of A. Coser and R. Dahrendorf. Thanks to the works of D. Rapoport, M. Sheriff, R. Doz, D. Scott, a new trend in conflictology took shape - the psychology of conflict. In the 70s There was a need for practices that would teach behavior in a conflict situation. Various practices and methods for resolving controversial issues in the most peaceful way are beginning to appear.
It is worth noting that initially the subject of conflictology research was conflict as a social phenomenon. Scientists described the types of confrontations and tried to find the most acceptable ways to resolve them. However, recently, more and more conflicting personalities have begun to appear in society, which is difficult not to notice.
Conflictologists mean a conflicted personality of an individual with contradictions in the conscious and subconscious. V. Merlin notes that the most conflict-prone people are those with a creative mindset and an active lifestyle. There are many theories regarding the origin of this type of character in humans. For example, a conflict personality, according to Freud’s theory, is a collision of the human “I” with its instinctive, unconscious component “It”. According to Freud’s theory, there is also a third component of the personality “Super Ego”, that is, the ideal to which a person strives. Thus, the individual constantly suffers from the clash of these three “I”s, and this can often result in external conflicts.
On the other hand, there was the teaching of C. Jung, who argued that human neurosis and the difficulty of adapting to others are formed in childhood. The scientist emphasized that it is important to teach a child to understand and be aware of his thoughts and desires in order to resolve internal conflicts. According to his examples, a conflict personality can appear if adults begin to deceive the child or stop paying attention to him. Then the child may draw incorrect conclusions, which will complicate the process of self-perception.
Another interesting theory was voiced by Karen Horney. She also drew attention to the process of personality formation in childhood and coined the concept of “basic anxiety” - a feeling of loneliness and complete isolation in a hostile world. This condition occurs when in childhood a child was unable to satisfy his need for security. As a result, “basic anxiety” becomes the basis on which a conflict personality is formed. Such people require more attention to themselves and react sharply if something does not go as they would like. They have a much higher need for love and recognition than other people. In short, conflicted individuals try to find evidence of their importance, at least that’s what Karen Horney says.
Typology of conflicting personalities
In total there are 5 types. Let's look at each of them.
1
Demonstrative type
He wants to look good and be the center of attention. Likes to provoke superficial conflicts and admire his suffering.
Behavior is guided by emotions and avoids painstaking activities. In conflicts, he feels like a fish in water, does not try to escape them, on the contrary, he will make sure that the conflict takes place and that as much attention as possible is paid to it.
2
Rigid type
He is suspicious and straightforward. Self-esteem is inflated and requires constant confirmation from the outside.
He rarely considers other people's opinions and ignores points of view that differ from his own. Inflexible.
He is very sensitive to criticism and cannot tolerate unfair treatment (even if it only seems like that to him). He is touchy and does not like to admit his own imperfections.
3
Ungovernable
Very impulsive, his behavior cannot be predicted. Blames others for failures. Often violates the norms of communication between people.
Doesn't draw any conclusions from past experience. Does not correlate his actions with global goals, does not know how to plan.
4
Ultra-precise
Inflated demands both on others and on oneself. Scrupulous and picky, attentive to details. Has a high level of anxiety. Sensitive to the comments of others, but at the same time unemotional and has a low level of empathy.
5
"Conflict-free"
Contradictory and easily susceptible to suggestion. Depends on the opinions of those around him, often changes his mind, is inconsistent. Weak willpower, ready to compromise. He is not inclined to comprehend the reasons for his actions and the actions of the people around him.
If you recognize one of these types or one of the described traits in your interlocutor, be careful. Do not give in to provocations, try to translate the conflict into a rational channel. It will be helpful to take a lesson on conflict prevention and management.
And if you recognize one of the types or one of the conflicting traits in yourself, try to eradicate it. Few people want to deal with people who provoke quarrels and cause stress. If you become less conflictual, you will be able to achieve more.
We wish you success!
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- Bell and Hart's Eight Causes of Conflict
- Overcoming the fear of confrontation
- In a dispute, the truth is born: is it relevant or not?
- Conflicts and strategies for dealing with them
- How to competently enter into conflict
- Conflicts in the work team: what they are and how to avoid them
- 13 reasons why conflicts arise
- Resolving conflicts in a team
- IBR Conflict Resolution Approach
- Isaac Adizes "Union of Unlike"
Key words:1Communication
Principles of behavior in conflict
Intrapersonal conflict in psychology - types, causes and consequences
The basic rules of behavior in conflicts consist of 6 strategies:
- Compliance. This is the most common method of preventing an argument. Participants in misunderstandings avoid a conflict situation by letting everything take its course or pretending that nothing happened.
- Adaptation. In this case, one side of the disagreement tries to adjust to the other. That is, if the interlocutor has his own point of view, but he does not voice it, because he is afraid of ruining the relationship or being misunderstood.
- Rivalry. The subjects of the conflict take active positions and try to prove their opinion to the opponent.
- Compromise. This is a solution that is acceptable to both conflicting parties, since it satisfies their interests to one degree or another.
- Cooperation. In this case, the parties find a method that satisfies the goals of both parties. For example, achieving the goals of one of the parties to the conflict will help the other to realize his plans, so he provides assistance to the opponent.
- Ignoring. This type of behavior suggests that a person does not want to enter into conflict, but by avoiding it, he only aggravates an already difficult situation. After all, the main essence of solving a problem is to eliminate the root cause of its occurrence, and without cooperation between the two parties this is almost impossible to do.
Conflict situations are a real devourer of positive emotions, which bring disappointment and often become the cause of apathy.
Note. Practice shows that it is not worth interfering in someone’s dispute, since trying to resolve someone else’s conflict can only aggravate it.
