How to develop willpower and go towards your goal without distractions

Most of us regularly say to ourselves, “If only I had more willpower.” However, is it actually possible to develop it? And if so, what's the best place to start?

Some of these situations will seem familiar to you:

• You want to become a morning person, but when the alarm goes off, you cut yourself some slack and continue to sleep.
• You decide to switch to a healthier diet, but unexpectedly you order from McDonald's.
• You think it would be a good idea to hit the gym and lose a few extra pounds before summer starts, but after a long day at work you find yourself on the couch watching TV.

Yes? You are not alone. Science has some answers to the question of how to develop willpower that may surprise you.

Why should we care about willpower?

Roy Baumeister, one of the leading researchers on willpower, notes:

The root cause of most of the problems that plague our people today—addictions, overeating, crime, domestic violence, sexually transmitted diseases, prejudice, debt, unwanted pregnancies, lack of education, poor performance in school and work, lack of funds, lack of exercise—is to one degree or another low level of self-control. Psychology has identified 2 main parameters that seem to provide an extremely wide range of benefits: intelligence and self-control. Despite many years of attempts, psychology has not figured out what a person can do to permanently increase the level of mental abilities. But strengthening self-control is quite accessible. Therefore, self-control is a rare and powerful tool that psychology can use to make tangible and beneficial changes in the lives of ordinary people.

Research in this area strongly supports the idea that increasing a person's willpower has a positive effect on all areas of their life.
People who are more self-controlled have better health, more stable and happier relationships, higher earnings, and more successful careers. Not surprisingly, those with stronger willpower are also happier. Therefore, declaring your willingness to work on your willpower may turn out to be one of the best decisions in your life.

A weak-willed person is a dependent person

“I’m 25 years old, but I already feel “broken” like I’m an old man. I grew up in a not very prosperous environment - my father drank, my mother worked constantly, and there were problems at school. Everyone around me constantly told me that I was a good-for-nothing person. And even having grown up and moved away from my parents, the thought that I am a loser and a weakling cannot leave me. I can't get rid of her. Whatever I have planned, I’m afraid to start and take the first step, it seems that my train has already left. This is very disruptive at work. Perhaps this is why I am not promoted up the career ladder, although I have been in the company for many years. What can I say - I’m even afraid to go on dates with girls. Of course, he is still not married. I want to change my life, but nothing works out for me - some kind of stupor. I tried to start small - at least quit smoking. But no, I can’t go longer than a couple of weeks without cigarettes. I know that I need to develop willpower, but I don’t understand how to achieve this.”

— Evgeniy, 25 years old

A person with weak willpower risks becoming an eternal slave to his desires and habits. He, led by blind instincts, sooner or later completely loses control over his life.

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It seems that there is nothing wrong with living an easy life - without self-control and discipline. But over time, this becomes a habit; numerous “indulgences” prevent you from developing and achieving your goals. A simple example can be given. At first, a person simply allows himself to sleep a little longer in the morning, and then, when willpower stops “working,” problems begin with constant lateness to work.

Weak-willed person:

• susceptible to manipulation by people around him,
• is in the grip of bad habits,
• indecisive,
• disorganized,
• dependent,
• lazy,
• susceptible to depression.

One of the characteristic features inherent in weak-willed people is awareness of the existing problem. Yes, they know that lack of self-control makes life difficult, but they do nothing to correct the situation. Perhaps they have a strong desire to change something, but a “deficit” of will prevents them from saying a clear “no” to their desires and starting to act boldly.

Research shows that the overwhelming majority of personal and social problems arise precisely against the background of undeveloped self-control. Psychologists give the following examples of consequences - a tendency to excessive spending and bank loans, impulsive violence, alcohol and drug abuse, cravings for unhealthy diets. [2]

What is willpower?

To understand how willpower works, we first need to figure out what we mean when we use the word.
We all think we understand what we are talking about. However, how do scientists studying the subject determine willpower? In her book Maximum Willpower, Professor Kelly McGonigal, who teaches The Science of Willpower at Stanford, mentions three different aspects of this phenomenon:

• The power of “I Won’t” is the ability to resist temptation.
• The power of “I will” is the ability to do what needs to be done.
• The power of “I want” is the individual’s awareness of his long-term goals and desires.

According to McGonigal, willpower is directly related to using power over these “I wills,” “I won’ts,” and “I wills” to achieve one’s goals and avoid trouble.

Why am I doing this?

Motivation is what fuels willpower in the first place and is its strong foundation. If you don’t understand why you should do something, then it’s not surprising that you will shirk every time, and no exercises, tricks or life hacks will help you.

Therefore, start developing willpower from the main thing. Take time to figure out the goals you want to achieve in life and in the short term. By the way, in our opinion, this topic is described very well in J. Canfield’s book “A Whole Life.” Once you understand your goals and the actions you need to take to achieve them, it will be easier for you to activate your willpower.

It's even better if you paint a vivid picture in your head of how you will look, think and feel when you achieve your goal. Imagine it before your eyes every time you are tempted to deviate from your chosen path, and you will be able to resist. Let your willpower become better day by day by your conscious choice, and not by the influence of life's blows and circumstances. Remember your goals and never give up. As Michael Jordan said, “You're not a loser until you give up.”

Where do we get willpower from?

Willpower is an amazing phenomenon.
Indeed, some scientists even say that perhaps it is what makes a person human. This is logical, because there are no other animals with such a developed ability to control their impulses. What made us so special? Ancient people lived in a society where the survival of each individual was very dependent on the group. To get along with others, everyone needed to control their impulses. This had a huge impact on the brain and led to the development of impulse control techniques that could get a person into trouble.

Our current ability to fight our impulses is the result of several thousand years of adaptation to an increasingly complex social environment.

Watch your speech

It will undoubtedly be useful to correct your own speech. Remove swear words, junk words, various abbreviations and jargon from your vocabulary. Every time you feel like using a strong word, mentally stop yourself. Stop being like other people and using newfangled abbreviations in greetings. Make sure your speech is correct and clear. In this way, you will consciously turn your own will against your instincts. This path may seem especially long and thorny, but at the end of it your prize awaits in the form of new natural and pure speech habits.

If you have too many junk words in your vocabulary, work in stages. To do this, select a short period of time during which you will change only certain words. When you, through repeated repetitions, get rid of the first batch of unnecessary words, you can move on to the next stage and so on.

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The Brain and Willpower: Meet the Prefrontal Cortex

The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain located just behind the frontal bone and the eyes.
Throughout evolution, it mainly controlled physical movements (walking, running, climbing, etc.). Over time, it not only grew larger, but also strengthened connections with other parts of the brain and took on some new functions. The prefrontal cortex is now responsible for your actions, thoughts, and even feelings. The prefrontal cortex has 3 independent sections that control various aspects of willpower:

• The left lobe of the prefrontal cortex is responsible for the “I will” part.
• The right lobe is in charge of the “I won’t” area.
• And the lower middle beat serves “I want.”

Together, these departments provide our self-control and self-awareness, or, in other words, our willpower.
The importance of the prefrontal cortex is best illustrated by cases where people have suffered injuries that affect this particular part of the brain. In 1848, Phineas Gage, a calm, polite, and hard-working foreman, found himself in a situation that resulted in a very serious head injury that damaged his prefrontal cortex. The injury changed him forever. Friends could not recognize Gage: he had turned into an irritable, impulsive person - literally the opposite of himself.

Phineas's case is one of many examples of what happens when a person suffers from damage to the prefrontal cortex. This makes it clear that willpower is not something mystical, but just one of the functions of our brain.

Summary

5 tips for training willpower, start filling a glass of water.

1. We give up something insignificant (in nutrition), start warming up every morning for 5 minutes. Once you feel the willpower, make it more difficult.

2. You need to buy, print, draw a calendar (should be in the same form as in the example above) - hang it on the refrigerator and mark your habits.

3. Set a goal for yourself, divide the goal into subprojects, subprojects into tasks, tasks into daily actions.

4. Set your daily minimum for habits associated with such forces as “I will” and “I want.”

5. Make a promise to yourself that even if you miss one day, you will not give up the next. This is one of the most common mistakes. The point is that if you miss just one day, most people put off forming habits for several years. Even if you missed a few days, don't give up, start again.

Why our grandparents were more disciplined than us

One of the most shocking discoveries about willpower is this: willpower is like a muscle that gets tired when overused.
Roy Baumeister conducted many experiments in which he asked people to exercise willpower in controlled laboratory conditions (refuse cake, hide their anger, hold their hands in ice water, etc.). It turned out that the details of these requirements did not matter much: people who had to use their willpower experienced a weakening of their ability to control themselves. This was expressed in different ways: those who were asked to control their emotions were more likely to buy unnecessary things, giving up sweets led to procrastination, and so on. In the end, Baumeister came to the conclusion that willpower becomes depleted during use.

Moreover, research has shown that there are many factors that can deplete willpower, some of which we would never have thought of. Sitting in a boring meeting, trying to impress on a date, or being in the wrong workspace can all drain your willpower. Every time you are forced to restrain an impulse or make a decision—no matter how mundane—you are using your “willpower muscle” and therefore depleting the corresponding reserves.

Kathleen Vaughns, assistant professor of marketing at the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota, notes:

There is research that shows that people's levels of self-control are the same as they were decades ago, but we are bombarded with more and more temptations. Our psychology is not designed to deal with all of our current potential pleasures.

We could look at people from previous generations and admire their self-discipline.
As a martial artist, I remember reading stories about past masters and beating myself up for not practicing the same technique for hours, day after day, like they did. But it seems that the reason that our generation is not as diligent as its predecessors is not at all a weakness of character, but environmental irritants.
Would these martial artists be as dedicated to their craft if they had access to Facebook, Twitter and YouTube? I'm afraid we will never get an answer to this question.

How to gain freedom of action

Developed willpower allows you to get rid of bad habits. A person who acts solely according to his instincts has no choice.

He may realize that he has problems that drag him down and do not allow him to open up to his fullest extent, but his lack of character does not allow him to get out of the current situation correctly.

It is for this reason that many people cannot realize themselves in life; their plans never come true.

Steroids for willpower: meditation

The good news is that we can increase our willpower and be able to use it regularly if we start training our brain.
Meditation has proven itself to be one of the most effective methods of increasing willpower. Research on this issue shows that 3 hours of meditation improves self-control and concentration, and after 11 hours of practice you can notice real changes in the brain. Why is it so effective?

Meditation increases blood flow to the prefrontal cortex. The brain seems to respond to exercise in the same way that muscles do: doing push-ups gives you strong arms, and meditating improves the neural connections between the parts of the brain responsible for self-control. What's the best way to meditate if you want to develop your willpower?

Kelly McGonigal says this meditation technique will get the blood flowing to the prefrontal cortex, which is perhaps the simplest thing we can do to accelerate evolution and maximize our brain's potential.

1. Sit and don't move.
   You can sit on a chair with your feet flat on the floor, or lie cross-legged on the floor. Try to restrain motor impulses: find out if you can ignore the itching and the need to change position. Stillness is an important part of meditation; it teaches you not to automatically give in to impulses.
2. Shift your attention to your breathing.
   Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing. Mentally say “inhale” as you draw in air, and “exhale” as you release it. If you notice your mind has started to wander, bring it back and continue to focus on your breathing. This activates the prefrontal cortex and calms the centers of the brain that respond to stress and desire.
3. Notice how you feel when you breathe and when your mind wanders.
   After a few minutes, drop the words “in” and “exhale” and focus solely on the sensation of breathing. Your mind may get a little lost without these words. But if you notice that you are thinking about something extraneous, return your attention to your breathing. You can repeat “inhale” and “exhale” several times if you find it difficult to concentrate. This part helps train both self-awareness and self-control.

At the very beginning of practice, meditation can seem very difficult. This is quite normal: in everyday life we ​​often do not notice how distracted and noisy our mind is, and the stillness while trying to concentrate on breathing clearly demonstrates this. However, no matter how inept you think you are: research suggests that even 5 minutes of daily meditation will provide benefits in the form of increased levels of self-control and self-awareness. Don't be afraid to start small.

Volitional qualities and their development

The formation of self-control begins in early childhood. A child aged 3-4 years already begins to understand what can and cannot be done, despite his personal desires. More active development of self-control, which will play a major role in the future, occurs during adolescence. By the time a person reaches adulthood, he is supposed to have enough self-control to be able to confront himself.

But not every person can really improve this quality to the required level. In some cases, the will is suppressed by more authoritarian relatives. As a result, there are no manifestations of self-discipline, and only certain qualities are developed. To gain maximum ability to set tasks and complete them, it is important to develop each such quality.

Independence

Manifestations of independence begin in early adolescence. But the trouble is that for most children this quality is ruined by prohibitions, punishments and ignorance. As a result, in later life, expressing one's own thoughts, ideas and desires becomes a difficult task.

However, independence can be developed in a short period of time. This does not require any special qualities. The main thing is to find a starting point from which to start. It could be almost anything:

• The decision to change jobs is balanced and unshakable.
• Opening of an online exhibition of your works.
• Buying a gym membership.
• A holiday spent differently than usual. For example, a long trip instead of a trip to the country.

The main thing is that you make any decision yourself, without advice or tips. All responsibility for the result will rest with you, and rightly so. The ability to be responsible for one’s actions and deeds is the basis of independence, without which an adult cannot live fully.

Initiative

This quality of a person is on the same level as independence. In fact, one is impossible without the other. It is initiative that is responsible for taking the first step towards making a decision. When planning how to increase your willpower, place a lot of emphasis on the ability to advocate for your own ideas.

The main enemies of initiative are laziness, fear and inertia. They can sit inside every person. The main thing is not to let them take your personality to pieces. Otherwise, you risk spending your whole life waiting for benefits that suddenly fall on your head. And this only happens in fairy tales and films. In real life, you need to do a lot of hard work on yourself.

The easiest way to develop initiative in yourself is to find something that will truly interest and excite you. In this case, you will subconsciously try to develop it more than just routine work. Don't forget about creative development. An activity where you need to use your imagination and imagination helps you develop the ability to beautifully and interestingly promote your own ideas and plans.

Be persistent

Taking the first step towards the desired result is very important. But it is equally important to be able to maintain interest in the matter. Perseverance as a strong-willed quality is the key to the fact that you will be able to complete any task. It largely depends on the personality type. Hot-tempered and bright people can start promoting an idea quickly, interestingly and actively, but eventually burn out. More thorough individuals who have a sufficient amount of patience and perseverance, as a rule, cannot find the courage to start.

Most often, this quality is called willpower. To develop this side of character you need:

1. Accustom yourself to finish any task you start.
2. Learn to weed out ideas that you don’t have the strength or patience for, especially if you clearly understand this.
3. When you are about to start a task, calculate how much time and resources it will take you. To avoid burning out and reaching the end, just break it down into equal stages.
4. Be sure to stimulate yourself by thinking about the results of your work.

Self-control and self-control

Remember that indecision, fear and inertia are characteristic of every person. It is enough to understand how to develop self-discipline in order to defeat all negative manifestations within yourself. First of all, remember that exercising self-control is a decisive step out of your personal comfort zone. This is often difficult, uncomfortable and with minimal comfort for the nervous system. But this is typical only for the beginning. Having sufficiently developed self-control, you will not notice negative factors.

The ideal training for self-control is sport in any of its forms. The main thing is to set specific goals for yourself and persistently work towards them. For example, learning to lift a certain weight or hone your shooting accuracy. It is quite possible to set higher results, for example, run a marathon or become a participant in any local competition. The main task in this case is not to retreat under any circumstances.

Start planning

Without the habit of focused work, you can be distracted by any little things. This makes it very difficult to achieve your goal. Increasing willpower means learning to limit yourself from these little things while you are busy with a specific task. Planning your tasks helps you weed out what is not worth your attention right now.

Stephen Covey, an expert in time management, talked about a simple scheme with which you can systematize all your possible tasks and activities.

1. Important and urgent. This category should include things that require your immediate attention. For example, force majeure, deadlines and any critical situations. The development of your own projects should be included in this category.
2. Important, but not urgent. This is a search for new connections, useful acquaintances and connections for development. Making plans, by the way, also falls into this category.
3. Unimportant, but urgent. This should include your personal calls and meetings, communication on informal topics that do not directly affect work.
4. Unimportant and not urgent. This category is more likely not for business, but for idleness. This includes watching movies and TV series, surfing social networks, computer games and more.

It is most convenient to make such a plan for no longer than a week. Then you will be able to control and regulate your own actions in accordance with the developed list. At first, this rather strict regime will cause discomfort, but over time you will get used to rational use of time.

Proper planning of the day

Many trainings and personal development consultants teach us that we need to plan our day. This is a very true remark, but some features of such planning need to be taken into account.

First of all, remember that each person’s daily schedule is individual. The fact is that each organism has its own biorhythms, time of activity and regularity. These criteria are very important to consider when drawing up a work plan for the day.

It’s worth observing yourself for a while, recording the peak of activity. Based on this observation, you can draw up a rough schedule. Following it for the first few days, make adjustments and amendments to make the schedule as comfortable as possible. In this way, you will not only develop willpower, but also be able to increase your own effectiveness.

Useful habits

Forming good habits is another step towards answering the question of how to develop discipline. This process is quite difficult and requires persistence every day. But as a result, you will get excellent training for such qualities as composure, responsibility and attentiveness. The main thing is to choose a useful habit that will become your daily exercise machine. However, there may be several of them:

• Keeping a diary. This will help you monitor your daily activity. Based on the recordings, you can most accurately adjust your work so that it is more beneficial and less tiring.
• Cost accounting. A useful activity that helps not only to learn self-control, but also to save significantly.
• Morning work-out. The habit of doing even the simplest exercises every day will give you a boost of energy and teach you how to maintain a daily routine.
• Replenishment of the dictionary of foreign words. Make it a rule to learn 3-4 new words every day. This way, you will stimulate your memory and, as a result, add another acquired quality to your portfolio.
• Read 1 book per week. This will not only teach you how to strengthen willpower, but will also significantly expand your horizons and erudition.

Meditation

The ability to meditate correctly solves several problems at once. You will be able to relax even after the most difficult stressful situations, strengthen your health, spirit and increase your personal effectiveness. When it comes to willpower, meditation is a great way to do passive daily training.

Essentially, self-control is the ability to manage your own thoughts and emotions. This is what meditation teaches us. By devoting just 30 minutes a day to this activity, you will gain a strong nervous system and the ability to withstand any stress. At the same time, your level of self-control will increase significantly. In addition, the ability to effortlessly direct thoughts in the right direction will positively affect the achievement of efficiency at work.

Healthy eating

We have already figured out how to learn to direct energy in the right direction. Now it is important to understand where to get enough energy to achieve new goals and objectives.

The body receives energy through food. Therefore, it is very important to watch what you eat. Eliminate fast food and too much fatty foods from your diet. You should also control your sugar intake.

Try not to snack on the run. Allow enough time to eat in peace. This will not only help improve the functioning of the digestive system, but will also teach you order. Be sure to eat fruits and vegetables (some can be eaten raw). Fish and lean meat will benefit brain activity. And also don't forget about water. The norm for an adult is 2-2.5 liters per day.

Sport

As we noted above, sports are ideal training for willpower. At the same time, it doesn’t matter at all what kind of activity you do. Running, swimming, horseback riding - everything will be equally beneficial. Systematization and adherence to the training plan are also important here. Don't allow yourself to miss classes. Only a serious illness or injury can serve as a significant reason.

Psychologists note that it is best to study in a group. This way you will not only find new friends and like-minded people. Motivation for success increases significantly when you have an “opponent” in front of you. Healthy competition tones you up and makes you strive for higher results.

Keep track of your expenses

We began to monitor the amount of food consumed, now it would be useful to track our own expenses. Even if your goal isn't to shrink or trim your budget, having a clear picture of exactly where your money is going can be very helpful. If you learn to control your own finances, you will learn to control your own will. Money shouldn't flow out of your wallet like a river. Knowing where your money is spent, the next time you walk past the aisle of candy in the supermarket, you will not succumb to temptation and grab an unnecessary box.