The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.
- Jack London
We often live on autopilot - repeating each new day the same way as the previous one. This is convenient and saves a lot of nerve cells - until you start summing up the results of the year or even the five-year period. If you want to truly live your life, experience all the thrills and enjoy it to the fullest, you need to look for ways to break out of your routine. The Heroine editors will remind you of a few simple ideas that can be implemented this weekend.
Create a morning ritual
Say hello to the sun when you wake up and tell yourself that you won't waste your day. Do some stretching in bed, meditate, or fill out your diary. Add an unusual syrup or flavoring to your coffee. Come up with your own way to start the morning and have fun from the first minutes of waking up.
Determine your true Wants
I want to always be with you, wherever you are, whatever you do. What I want is you yourself. Sometimes it seems that your destiny is somewhere far away, but in reality it never leaves you. Perhaps you just don’t see it yet.
Talk to yourself out loud. Use the two-chair technique for this. Place two chairs opposite each other. Sit on one of them. The idea of chairs may seem stupid to you, but believe me, doing it in your head is much more difficult. You can use this technique for any topic, but in this case, talking to each other will be based on need and want. Sit on one and speak for 5 minutes on behalf of I want. Move to another chair and criticize everything I want on behalf of the need. Then move back to the first chair. And see what happens. You will be able to discover unexpected Wants and discard false Shoulds.
How to understand what you want? 5 tips from Barbara Sher
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Take a chance
From time to time we all need to take risks - even if things go wrong. Get inspired by other people's success stories, try turning your hobby into a job, or ask someone you've long admired for mentorship. Invite someone you like to dinner and submit an entry to a competition you find interesting.
What are you most afraid of? What stops you on the path to your dream? Whatever your phobia is, face it head on and think about how you could overcome this fear.
Methods
Notice your needs
We are constantly changing, our mood, desires, thoughts change... Yes, it is not easy to constantly try to be aware of what is happening to me at the moment. But if you become just a little more attentive to your needs, you have a chance to find a more constructive way to meet them.
For example, you can feel dissatisfied, irritated and quarrel with loved ones, declaring that they do not care about you or do something. And this will only worsen the relationship without getting what you want.
Because basically, when complaints arise, the interlocutor takes a defensive position. Or simply doesn't understand what exactly you're trying to achieve.
Or you might think about what exactly you are missing, realize that you are very tired and ask for a massage, cook dinner for you, or simply give you the opportunity to relax alone with yourself. In which case do you think there is a greater chance of being heard?
Pause
Anyone who is constantly concerned about how to keep up with everything suddenly finds himself surprised at how quickly time flies by. In the race for happiness, happiness was not noticed.
Worries, work and other responsibilities sometimes pile up in such a heap that it is impossible to look at the person himself because of them. Take breaks, look around.
If you run or drive quickly, you can get to your destination ahead of schedule, I agree, but the landscapes that accompanied you the whole way are impossible to see and remember.
Adapt
Everything in the world is changing very rapidly. Some professions disappear, new ones appear. One power replaces another. Even the climate “does not stand still.” It is important to be able to adapt to new conditions so as not to fall out of the overall process.
Usually, those who were able to adapt, show their flexibility and occupy a new niche manage to realize themselves. A person who holds on to the old, trying to act in familiar ways that no longer give the desired result - suffers, experiences disappointment, depression, etc.
So learn new languages, go to courses and trainings, reveal your talents and capabilities. Only by starting to do something unusual will you get a completely different life. And if you follow your interests, then she will probably be happy.
Overcome your fears
Fear of change, failure and any other fear prevents you from breathing deeply and getting what you want from life. On the one hand, they perform a protective function, because new things are unsafe, which means there is a risk of injury, disappointment, and so on. On the other hand, they don’t allow their dreams to come true and change their everyday life.
It is important to be aware of it, this fear, but at the same time continue to move forward, try to change something. It is impossible to become successful without experiencing failure. How to become completely different without changing.
Don't put it off until later
People who spent most of their lives in the USSR learned to leave the best for later. Have you noticed how parents, grandmothers, great-grandfathers and other relatives and acquaintances took out a beautiful set only when guests arrived? And the rest of the time they drank tea from cups with cracks.
Or they put off new underwear, clothes and other things for some time. Well, the opportunity will come and all this will be useful to them, but for now they must be patient.
The sad, terrible thing is that such a moment may not come. Life is not somewhere in a wonderful future, it is right here and now.
Your needs must also be satisfied as they arise, and not at more appropriate times.
Love yourself
A person values life only if he values himself. Happiness cannot be found by ignoring your own personality. If you are bored alone with yourself, there is no point in looking for love and recognition on the side. No one can fill it, replace it.
Very often, quite unconsciously, a person even tries to kill himself. I'm not talking about suicide as such, but about various kinds of addictions. For example, what kind of love for oneself and life can we talk about when you introduce some kind of chemical into the body that will probably harm it?
Create values
Values and beliefs help you cope with difficult situations, set goals, and also provide energy for achievement. This is the foundation, something that a person can rely on if necessary. They can be spiritual, moral, family, religious, etc. The main thing is that there are.
And if you live in accordance with your values and principles, you will find happiness.
Take care of your health
Feeling good is not the main, but quite important component of a full life. Your body works around the clock and it will be great if you not only do not interfere with it doing its job, but also help.
For example, by exercising to stay fit and eating right. Getting quality rest and drinking enough water.
All this will allow you to become not just healthier. After all, for example, after physical activity the hormone of happiness is produced. If you get the required amount of sleep, you will have more resources to cope with the negative effects of stress. This means that you will stop worrying about trifles and will not be so irritable and exhausted.
In general, for recommendations on where it’s best to start a healthy lifestyle, come here.
Be active
In addition to the ability to stop, you also need to be active. Develop, act and move forward. By filling your everyday life with something new and interesting, your life will become much more diverse than if you just lie on the couch and watch TV in your free time.
Travel, walk, at least around your own city or village, go to some clubs and trainings. Learn foreign languages and read books. Watch films, visit exhibitions, theaters, visit people, in the end. But don't let apathy or laziness take control of you.
By living a varied range of emotions every day, you will understand how interesting, beautiful and rich your life is.
Be grateful
The universe, parents, friends, random passers-by, yourself... Because if you take life in general for granted, then it’s difficult to get pleasure and satisfaction.
What happens to you is the result of your interaction with the world. And if you devalue even the slightest contribution to your life, it will be impossible to feel richness and fullness.
Appreciate every moment, every minute, then there will be no time for boredom and disappointment.
Happiness is in the little things. There are people who can only rejoice at significant gifts in the form of a car or jewelry. And there are those who experience pleasure from seeing the sunset, simply opening their eyes in the morning and welcoming a new day.
Because they know that someday there will be no such opportunity and they need to notice such seemingly familiar and insignificant moments now.
Just don’t think about how to start and when to start giving thanks. Get started now. Remember today what happened to you that you didn’t pay much attention to, but what could you be happy about under different conditions?
For example, when a girl cooks breakfast for the first time, it is considered a sign of caring and evokes tenderness. And when she does this every day, for 10 years already as a wife, her efforts cease to be appreciated.
They are simply invisible and are perceived as a duty for which there is no need to say thank you. Although, in fact, she gets up earlier and tries to take care of you as well as on the first morning together.
Learn to refuse
This is actually an important skill. Especially for those who can be easily manipulated by pressure on pity.
Think about it: do you want to be comfortable or happy? You should not constantly sacrifice your interests for the sake of others.
I'm not asking you to stop helping others. I ask you to be sensitive to your own personality. So as not to step on your own throat for good purposes. This way you can waste the resources and capabilities of the body, after which you “fall out” into depression. And an unhappy person is not capable of giving joy. Not to others, not to yourself.
You can find detailed instructions on how to learn how to politely refuse while preserving your relationship by clicking on this link.
Form a close circle of people you care about
The people who take part in your life should inspire you, stimulate you to develop and delight you. Try to surround yourself with those who respect and love you. Because there are those who, on the contrary, strive to do harm, who constantly complain and, after communicating with whom you don’t want anything, give up.
You should not waste time on meaningless and unnecessary conversations and companies in which you have to live through despair, shame, and loneliness. And all the time.
Think about what you need them for? Do you tolerate someone's criticism out of politeness, or because it motivates you to act? Do you listen to endless complaints about the whole world because you share them and are interested, or because your conscience is tormenting you, because we should help each other?
Give up control
It's not about drinking yourself into oblivion: just giving up control over yourself and everyone around you. Your habit only leads to stress and anxiety for your loved ones, so let them live as they see fit.
By complexity
Of course, every plan is different. Some tasks are simple, and some are not so easy. How to manage everything and live life to the fullest? Another trick will help here. It is recommended to complete difficult tasks first, then easy ones. Of course, taking into account the priorities.
Once all the important and difficult things are behind you, everything else will be done faster. A good technique, but it will require some effort in the initial stages. Therefore, you will have to show persistence and perseverance.
Practice
Get out of your chair and go for a walk. Do some push-ups or stretch your toes. Buy a bike or go to the mountains - even a little exercise every day will change your life for the better.
Priorities
How to manage everything and live a real life? For this there is a theory of planning and time distribution. She is the one who will help bring the idea to life. After a person learns to draw up a clear plan of action, and is also able to predict the duration of a particular activity, you can move on to more important points. Namely, to the correct prioritization.
Some activities are extremely important, others are secondary. And this must be taken into account. For example, you need to take your child to the doctor, wash the dishes, pick up your second child from kindergarten, cook dinner and wash the windows. In this situation, the most important things to do are going to kindergarten and to the doctor. These items are ranked first. Next, it's probably more important to cook dinner than to clean up. If there is a period of time between going to the doctor and going to the garden, you can insert some minor task into it - either cooking or minor cleaning.
This type of scheme should always be used. The most important things are put in the foreground, then less serious ones, and at the very end - what can be neglected, secondary actions. This way you will be able to do everything taking into account the time spent and importance.
Open your heart
Is your heart a big scar left after difficult breakups and losses of loved ones? To heal it, you need to find the courage to show it to the world and be open to the fact that you can receive even more love that you deserve.
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Read on topic:How to cope with apathy and start taking care of yourself
A fulfilling life starts from within
Many people who strive to live more fulfilling lives look outside themselves for possible answers. However, most completely ignore the fact that nothing on the outside can truly satisfy you unless you are happy on the inside. So instead of looking within for answers, we explore one external source of happiness after another. And while many of these external sources keep us entertained for a while, none of them can truly keep us satisfied for a longer period of time. Nothing from the outside world can truly fill our hearts and minds. Until we realize that the journey to a fulfilled life begins from within.
Once we can find happiness from within, it helps us to know what fulfills our lives. If you can bring out the happiness within you, you are more likely to discover what makes your life truly worth living.
- 6 things you must do if you want to live a successful and prosperous life
Discover what really matters to you
Spend an hour making a list of all the important things in your life. Comfortable apartment? Your child's laughter? New video trending? Add to this list those things that you are just going to do. Then reduce this list to five items - only the most important things at the moment. Focus your life in the coming months specifically on them and do not be distracted by all the side pleasures.
Mindfulness, awareness and self-reflection
Mindfulness helps you cultivate happiness from within. It also allows you to better understand who you really are. Moreover, the habit of self-reflection will help you find more meaning in life's experiences.
This can be achieved by developing a habit of meditation or simply by trying to pay full attention to the present moment. But you can also devote yourself to reflecting on your life and your actions. This will help you identify patterns that will help you find what really matters to you.
Don't let yourself suffer
Life is not just about constant happiness and fun, and sadness, despair and pain are an inevitable part of life. We have to lose loved ones, get sick, get injured and need money. Learn to feel your pain and really grieve, and not forbid yourself to be upset. But when you fully experience your suffering, you can move forward to happy days.
Add joy to other people's lives
Naturally, we try to achieve satisfaction by adding joy and happiness to our own lives. As a result, we neglect the powerful impact that helping others can have on our lives. Helping others can make you happy. This will improve your psychological well-being and overall life satisfaction.
Many people feel like they are missing out on opportunities by helping others. They believe that helping other people is a waste of time. But at the same time, these people have never experienced how wonderful it is to see other people's striving. It's amazing to see others succeed because you helped them get back on their feet when they needed you most. There is no risk in helping other people, but it can bring heartfelt satisfaction.
Where to look for your love
Love is the feeling that inspires us and colors life in bright colors. It must be mutual. If you don't have this and you are constantly competing for someone's attention, you may end up getting hurt. You need to let go of this attitude, then true love will knock on your door. Pay attention to yourself, accept yourself as you are, occupy your mind with interesting things and discoveries. Find a hobby that you enjoy and will expand your circle of communication, where you can find like-minded people, acquaintances, friends and your love. For example, take a contemporary art class or join a hiking group. This will increase your chances of meeting interesting people and meeting your soul mate among them.
Love is a great driving force, but don’t chase it, it will find you as soon as you let go of the situation.
This article will be useful:
- How to deal with the autumn blues
Technique
Another very useful technique is to involve modern devices in your work. Various gadgets and equipment are not only entertainment, but also benefits for humans. You can make the most of newfangled devices to make your life easier. This way you can manage everything and not get too tired.
You can entrust cooking to a pressure cooker/multi-cooker, cleaning to a robot vacuum cleaner, and so on. This way you can save a lot of time. As a result, a person will have more opportunities to relax. Especially if you do not deviate from the previously drawn up schedule.
Be careful: some modern gadgets only waste time! It is recommended not to use the Internet (allowed only for work purposes), social networks and other entertainment during the working day. Sometimes even a banal news check can take several hours. Therefore, you should not give in to temptations.
Now it’s clear how to manage everything and relax at the same time. Everything will definitely work out, but you will have to try hard from the beginning!
Chasing money or material possessions
We live in a society where everything is bought and sold for money. Without them we would not be able to exist comfortably. But let's reason, we learned from TV series that the rich also cry, and often do not find their happiness in money or expensive things. Many of us only think that we will be happy if we live in a big house, wear branded clothes, or have a new car. Unfortunately, most people don’t even experience this to check.
Big money always means it is more difficult to store and there is a danger of losing it. True, little money or its complete absence is no less a problem. Think about the fact that we become happier not when we spend money on buying a specific item (a trip, a theater ticket, a TV), but on satisfying our desires, for example: unforgettable impressions from traveling around the world, vivid emotions from going to the theater or, simply , the joy of purchasing a new TV.
Set the right goal and strive for it, remember that money cannot be a goal, it is only a means to achieve it, do not be lazy to read the article:
- Setting the right goal is the key to living a life of pleasure
Go towards your dream or goal, and you will not be left without a livelihood. If you only chase money, you will lose your dream and end up empty. Take it easy on money, do what you love in life , work on projects that are interesting to you. And spend your money with pleasure, not only on yourself, but also on loved ones and friends, do it with ease at heart, and you will be in a good mood every day.
Money is just a means to achieve a goal, treat it more simply, because there are many ways to achieve goals
Reasons that prevent you from having time to live
What prevents us from being able to do everything? Live a full life? There are several explanations.
- Time trouble. The term denotes an acute lack of time, sometimes reminiscent of the movement of a whole wall of urgent matters and tasks. Family, children, work, and something interesting is always added that fits the expression: “Not now!” Besides, we are not robots. Sometimes you want to sit down with your favorite book, watch a movie, or go somewhere you haven’t been able to get to for six months.
- Fatigue. A natural state if time pressure lasts for a long time. From the outside it may look like the person is being lazy. But still, in this case, such a state is a signal that it’s time to stop. Understand how necessary it is to continue living at this rhythm.
- Empty time. This is the main limiter on your ability to control your day from morning to evening. It is important to understand the reason for the slipping hours. For example, perhaps this is frequent viewing of news on VKontakte, photos from Instagram, or the computer game “Just for half an hour.”
- The decision is at the subconscious level. (Wait until the last moment). At the same time, people can do completely different things. Except for those that need to be completed urgently.
- Negative energy potential. Fatigue reaching the level of the limit of survival. Here, in addition to psychological reasons, there are often specific problems with well-being. They are associated with a lack of a healthy lifestyle, a minimum of movement, stress, and snacking on the go.
