How to start living your life and your mind for pleasure

Consciousness

Self-development, Consciousness, Goals

In our lives we want to achieve a lot, accomplish a lot. But we don’t always understand that when we are constantly chasing something, we are not living in the present. For us, only imaginary periods of time of the future and past remain. The future has not yet arrived, the past no longer exists. And the present time is rushing past us. It’s worth stopping and thinking: are we living our own lives, and how to start living with our own mind and for our own pleasure .

We ourselves miss the best moments of life, getting lost in thoughts in the past and future. And then we complain about the constant lack of time. Let's be clear: only the present time is a truly meaningful place to live in the here and now. NOW you can find what you are looking for. Don't waste your time on trifles.

Think about whether it is important what other people say about you, what opinion they have about your personal life. Mandatory advice on arranging it: how to live, where and who to work with - will not make you happy. There is only one right way out: you must and can make decisions on your own and live your own life. Only you know what your happy life should be

Perhaps it’s time to change something in your worldview and start living your own full life, don’t you think?

It is important to understand that in order for life to follow in the right direction, you must first listen to yourself. Only then the last word remains with you, and not with someone else. At the same time, you should not neglect the advice of knowledgeable and experienced people in difficult situations. It is imperative to learn from the mistakes of others, because... stepping on your rake is much more painful. Good and useful advice can be taken into account. Learn to distinguish between the benefits for yourself from good advice and the bad influence from imposing someone else’s opinion.

However, you already know this, so let’s understand the nuances.

The pursuit should only be for “your” dream

Each of us has a dream, more than one, and everyone strives for it. At the same time, you have to ask yourself, is this really your dream, and isn’t it someone else’s? After all, very often people fulfill the dreams of their parents, brothers, sisters, and even friends. And then throughout their lives they suffer and suffer, for example, from the wrong chosen profession in life, when they have to come to work with a heavy heart and constantly force themselves.

There is an interesting practice for dividing the needs into your own and others, quite simple at the level of a small child: the “why?” exercise. - I don’t know the scientific term. Thanks to her, just asking yourself the questions “why do I want this?” and “why do I need this?” you can get to the source of any of your or imposed aspirations. More details in the article:

How to distinguish your desires from those imposed - an exercise “why?”

Many of us sometimes cannot find or understand what their dream is. For such people, insight can only come in old age. To prevent this from happening, you must definitely look for yourself, take small steps towards understanding and start with the little things. You can start doing something you like, with a favorite hobby, for example, just dedicate a little time to it several times a week. Let's say you know how to draw and you like it, so why not do what you love and spend just a couple of hours to become happier. Gradually your life will become filled with meaning, and you will be happy, right here and now.

Make sure that you strive for your dream, and not for other people’s desires imposed from the outside!

The difference between “living here and now” and “living one day at a time”

People sometimes confuse these two concepts: “Live one day at a time” and “Live here and now,” taking the latter too literally: every day is like the last. But this is wrong. Each of us evaluates our life from the point of view of the present, past and future. You cannot build the future without taking into account the mistakes and experiences of past moments.

If you are already familiar with at least one “here and now” practice, then you know the differences between these arguments and the notorious behavior of the Dragonfly from I.A.’s fable. Krylova.

The first principle of the “Live here and now” attitude is to be in the moment, the ability to stop, to consider everything that is happening around as if in slow motion. Freezing for a second, deeply appreciating what is happening, a person feels himself merging with himself and the Cosmos, realizing himself as part of the whole. At this moment you can experience true happiness, a feeling of freedom, flight and lightness.

If you want to achieve a state of awareness in the moment, you need to constantly train this feeling. Don't put it off until later. Let's look together at a few simple steps on how to learn to live here and now.

The pursuit of stability or fear of change

We all want stability in life, to have a family, an apartment, a car, a job, etc. In addition to stability, there is also reliability and safety, but this is not always what you need in life. Behind stability there may be a fear of change .
It is very unpleasant to realize that you have lived for many years with an unloved person, and made such a choice yourself, being afraid of loneliness. Or a job that they were afraid to change for a long time took a lot of effort, time and health. Everyone has their own purpose in life, and most do not realize it. Often we strive to conform to someone else's idea of ​​what we should be. Think about whether you want to live like this. And then admit that somewhere you didn’t take a risk and didn’t change your life for a more interesting and better present and future. It might make sense to quit and start traveling. Or maybe, on the contrary, he will return from the peak of downshift and throw all his talent, for example, into science.

If your choice is made in favor of independent travel around our country and Asia, then we would like to offer a couple of tips:

• Independent travel - the whole world is in your hands
• Tips for beginners on independent travel

Behind apparent stability there is often a fear of change, which prevents you from taking important steps towards living a life of pleasure.

Difficulties: how to respond to them

It may seem to you that train your brain, read a lot, and everything will be fine. No, it's not that simple. There will be difficulties, and sometimes very difficult ones. Here we must remember that any situation can be perceived by a person both as experience and as psychological trauma. Moreover, we ourselves decide how to relate. Experience teaches, psychological trauma unlearns.

At the same time, remember: it is much easier for the psyche to perceive difficulties as psychological trauma. Why? Because there is no responsibility, no need to strain and think. Experience is always a logical approach to a problem. Therefore, be prepared for the fact that you will automatically perceive difficulties as psychological trauma. And considering that you came to read this article on the request “to live, not to exist,” then, in fact, the perception of life as continuous trauma has already become a habit.

Chasing money or material possessions

We live in a society where everything is bought and sold for money. Without them we would not be able to exist comfortably. But let's reason, we learned from TV series that the rich also cry, and often do not find their happiness in money or expensive things. Many of us only think that we will be happy if we live in a big house, wear branded clothes, or have a new car. Unfortunately, most people don’t even experience this to check.

Big money always means it is more difficult to store and there is a danger of losing it. True, little money or its complete absence is no less a problem. Think about the fact that we become happier not when we spend money on buying a specific item (a trip, a theater ticket, a TV), but on satisfying our desires, for example: unforgettable impressions from traveling around the world, vivid emotions from going to the theater or, simply , the joy of purchasing a new TV.

Set the right goal and strive for it, remember that money cannot be a goal, it is only a means to achieve it, do not be lazy to read the article:

• Setting the right goal is the key to living a life of pleasure

Go towards your dream or goal, and you will not be left without a livelihood. If you only chase money, you will lose your dream and end up empty. Take it easy on money, do what you love in life , work on projects that are interesting to you. And spend your money with pleasure, not only on yourself, but also on loved ones and friends, do it with ease at heart, and you will be in a good mood every day.

Money is just a means to achieve a goal, treat it more simply, because there are many ways to achieve goals

Why is it important to train your brain?

Because it has already been proven that the degree of success in life depends on the training of cognitive processes. Simply put, fools don't succeed. And not everyone is smart. Why? Because they don't use what they have. And what can we say about the opportunity to train the brain? Unfortunately, many in our world believe that intelligence is given by genes and cannot be influenced. Everything is possible, the main thing is to do it. Now we will look at very important skills and qualities that are worth developing in order to better process incoming information.

Emotions

It is very important to develop your emotions so that your emotional range is not like a toothpick. We are still people - reasonable people. The ability to notice beautiful things in simple little things is also a useful skill in order to enjoy life and get pleasure from it.

• While you wash your face in the morning, smile at yourself in the mirror . A good mood for the whole day is guaranteed.
• Enjoy your meal! Don't swallow it in chunks. Feel all the delights of taste with all your receptors. Experiment. Buy something new, not the notorious buckwheat and pasta.
• Remember the good things more often! Drive away negative thoughts. In the cold, dark winter, it is sometimes so nice to remember the summer days spent at sea. You can plan your next vacation and your mood will clearly lift.
• Do what you've been wanting for a long time! Dancing? It's time to sign up for salsa. Have you wanted to learn how to bake? Go ahead, the internet is full of macaron and cupcake recipes.
• Change your usual rhythm of the day! This will cheer you up. Instead of another series on Channel One or Losfilm, it’s better to download a new book or call your mom or learn a new rhyme with your child.
• Get rid of fear and negativity in your life . If something has been bothering you for a long time, finally solve this problem so that it does not haunt you, share your anxiety with your loved ones. Sometimes, having uttered your disturbing thoughts, they cease to be so disturbing and, a problem that has been tormenting for years, disappears somewhere.
• You don't have to be something you are not . If you want to laugh at a stupid joke, don’t hold back, laugh. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to take a stupid selfie, do it. All this helps to move and develop, and holding back leads to depression and dissatisfaction with life.
• Enjoy life. Learn to enjoy life . Even while doing a boring routine, you can benefit and enjoy life.

Memory and attention

We will not separate these processes, because they go hand in hand. As well as thinking, imagination and so on. Memory is an internal information feed. Not a single mental process will work without memory. Thinking operates on information already contained in the brain. The same applies to imagination, emotions, and so on. The development of intelligence primarily involves memory training.

Attention is no less important than memory. This is the gateway to our psyche. If there is no attention, a person will not remember anything. Wow, how far we have come. We started with the importance of doing something and absorbing information, and we continued with a description of how important it is to train memory and attention. Yes friends. Nothing can be done without this. After all, like many people: they suffered about what a bitter fate they had, and then they were distracted by something, and that’s all. By the way, achieving a goal implies constant concentration on the end result and what you are directly doing .

You can train your memory using special applications for phones. It is also useful to learn a foreign language. There is nothing more beneficial for the brain than learning new words. After all, this is not only information in itself, but also a detail in larger information flows. Every word is already knowledge, but knowledge is formed from words. Therefore, it is strongly recommended to expand your vocabulary in full. More words - better memory.

Attention can be trained using Schulte tables. We'll talk about them later when we describe speed reading, but they are incredibly useful for developing concentration. In general, Schulte tables are used in pathopsychology to measure this mental process, but any diagnostic tool can also be a training tool. So install them on your phone and practice as much as you want.

Since memory and attention are connected, if you train one, the other will certainly develop. You won't recognize yourself in a year!

Speed ​​reading

This is a skill that allows a person to process text information several times faster. Many successful people read quickly. For example, Roosevelt loved to read and literally “swallowed” books. The famous modern business coach Radislav Gandapas, who is said to be becoming smarter and more interesting every year, has also mastered speed reading techniques. They allow:

1. Process information quickly.
2. To save time.
3. Protect your eyesight (a person without speed reading skills puts too much strain on his eyes).
4. It is better to remember (speed reading without a good memory is impossible).

Typically a person reads at a speed of close to 200-300 words per minute, and this is considered good. Theoretically, the eye is capable of perceiving 12,000 words per minute, but in practice, rarely can anyone read faster than 1,000 words per minute. These numbers don’t tell you anything yet, so let’s put it another way: it’s quite possible to read 3 pages per minute with good comprehension of the material. Not without hard, long-term training, of course.

What is needed to develop speed reading?

First of all, you need to accustom yourself to read with your eyes, without an internal voice of what you see. At school we were taught to perceive the text this way: first we voice it inside our heads, then we listen to the speaker sitting in our imagination, and only then we process the information. In addition to the fact that the auditory nerve can transmit 25 times less information per unit of time than the visual nerve, it also takes time to process. All this is very irrational, don’t you think? And the speed of sound in nature is also much less than light.

When we see a tree, we don’t think much about what it is. We simply see a collection of pictures that the brain reads instantly. Surprisingly, a word is also a picture. It is not necessary to verbalize it internally in order to understand its meaning. It is too long. So learn to read with your eyes.

It is very useful for this to develop peripheral vision so that more words fall into our field of vision. This will allow you to relieve fatigue from your eyes (and with them from your entire body) and be fed with information for much longer. To do this, we use the already familiar Schulte tables.

Speed ​​reading is impossible without good concentration and memory. The faster we remember, the faster we can read. Therefore, you can often notice that people with good memory quickly perceive text without any speed reading techniques. We haven’t learned anything, but everything is already so good. In general, a lot can be said about training cognitive processes, but it’s time to talk about practice. Just remember: train your brain and speed reading so that your internal activities are more efficient.

Work for your pleasure

Your life's work doesn't have to be an ongoing ordeal. The longer you stay at work, the more nervous you are, the more you work without vacations, the less health you have. And the desire to work disappears.

Scientific research shows that an employee who comes back from vacation works much more productively than someone who has not seen this vacation for many years. A rested person begins work with renewed vigor and a fresh outlook. He is able to do more things in less time. Take a step towards change and find something you like, change your boring job for a more interesting one. After all, nothing is impossible in our life. We set barriers for ourselves when in fact we can conquer any peaks. And a job you love can bring you pleasure.

Many people believe that it is not easy to go to work on the Internet, and only a few can do this. We are currently preparing a whole series of stories and proposals on the topic of remote work, but for now I recommend reading the article about making money online:

• How to start working on the Internet

Find something you like, stop WORK and start WORKING for your own pleasure

The pursuit of external beauty and youth

There is a lot of pressure now coming from the media. For example, about the beautiful appearance of various celebrities who have undergone a large number of plastic surgeries in order to quickly smooth out wrinkles, or enlarge their breasts, or make their eyes expressive. But there are no guarantees that you will maintain your health and not lose it.

You may be interested in: propaganda on TV, don’t let yourself be deceived

Pursue beauty in a natural way, namely; exercise, watch your diet, be in balance with your inner world - isn’t this the norm? When a person has found his purpose, does what he loves and is interesting to him, and does not forget about health and travel, then such a person will simply shine from the inside. None of us will ever become so old that we stop dreaming, setting new goals for ourselves and realizing them. You just need to believe in yourself.

If you still have a few extra pounds deposited on your sides, then I recommend the following series of articles about losing weight and working using the “bodyflex” method:

• How to quickly get in shape - at home

Look after your health, but don’t go overboard, just spend a little time on exercise and nutrition

You don't need to prove anything to anyone

Always remember that you don't need to prove anything to anyone. If the people around you cannot accept your world as you created it, then it is time to move on. You live your life and build it the way you want. Many people only realize when they are on their deathbed that they should have listened to their true feelings and boldly lived by them, and not chased someone else’s opinion about themselves.

You need to learn to tell the difference, and be wary of those people who are trying to control you, who can make you feel guiltlessly guilty, or make you doubt yourself. People like vampires absorb internal forces and bring a feeling of emptiness from communicating with them. They put pressure on pity, on honor, on your promises, while manipulating you.

It is important to realize now that you owe nothing to anyone, only to yourself.

People and relationships with them

We all have friends and acquaintances, and we know that we can only share our deepest secrets with a few people whom we trust very much. You must learn not to hold back people who move away from you, because all those who want to communicate will remain and be close. However, it is important to realize that not all relationships are healthy.

For communication, choose people who can always listen, whom you can trust, and with whom you can be yourself. And while traveling, you will meet new acquaintances, who are sometimes better and much more interesting than a couple of old bores whom you considered friends for many years. Remember the law of the can of crabs, when those who remain below hold those who want to get free - this works even more effectively with people. Don't be afraid to run away from the crab people

Don't hold on to old connections - your loved ones shouldn't drag you down,

Option 2: Make a wish list

Everyone has done this at least once in their life. But how effective this practice was is a big question. So, how can you compile such a list according to all the rules?

• First of all, there should be a lot of desires, at least 100. To make it easier for you to decide on your own wants, try to categorize your desires. For example, by season: what do you dream of doing in summer, autumn, spring and winter. Another classification option is by area of ​​life: health, appearance, family, work, self-development, leisure. An important point: do not be afraid of strange, insignificant or everyday desires. No matter how unusual they may seem, these are your dreams, what you really want.
• Try to avoid global desires from the series “I want to spend my vacation to the fullest” or “earn a certain amount of money.” Write down exactly what you want to do on vacation: go to the forest to pick mushrooms, ride a boat, swim with dolphins, or visit a specific place.
• Check your desires for truth. Read them out loud and notice your body's physical reactions. If your dream is yours, you will feel a surge of positive emotions, inspiration, and a desire to act. If there is a feeling of resistance, tightness in the body, an attempt to defend the desire rationally - the brain quickly finds an explanation for why you need it, then this item on the list does not come from you personally. It is imposed from the outside, comes from “need”, while desires are always about “I want”.

Another option for the exercise is to read the list to a loved one you trust. You yourself will be able to track the reactions of your body and how you read - inspired and with a twinkle, or monotonously, trying to finish the process quickly. At the same time, your loved one will pay attention to the tone of your voice, emotional manifestations, concentration on reading or, conversely, some absent-mindedness. This way your wish list will be double checked. Together, it is much easier to track the emotional reactions of the body.

• Select the top desires that are most important to you from this list and highlight them in a separate list of goals . Set the time frame within which you want to achieve them, write down what is important to do so that your goal is realized to the maximum and gives you a lot of positive emotions. For example, if you dream of visiting a country, you will need time to choose a route, make a list of places you want to see, brush up on your language, sew or buy a couple of new dresses. We are sure that all these pleasant chores will make your life more fulfilling.

Where to look for your love

Love is the feeling that inspires us and colors life in bright colors. It must be mutual. If you don't have this and you are constantly competing for someone's attention, you may end up getting hurt. You need to let go of this attitude, then true love will knock on your door. Pay attention to yourself, accept yourself as you are, occupy your mind with interesting things and discoveries. Find a hobby that you enjoy and will expand your circle of communication, where you can find like-minded people, acquaintances, friends and your love. For example, take a contemporary art class or join a hiking group. This will increase your chances of meeting interesting people and meeting your soul mate among them.

Love is a great driving force, but don’t chase it, it will find you as soon as you let go of the situation.

This article will be useful:

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