Guys and girls from poor families have to get on their feet quite early. Various circumstances can force them to live separately from their parents (from mom and dad):
- The desire for independence;
- desire to ease the burden of parents;
- a thirst for other pleasures that are not available in the current financial situation (for example, paying for a hobby).
So how can you live independently at 18 years old, especially if you are also a student?
First things first.
Why is it better to live separately from your parents?
It’s good to live with your parents: they will feed you, give you something to drink, wash you, clean you up, wake you up, give you a lift, and give you pocket money. Ideally, of course, because there are also parents with whom it is much more difficult to live physically and mentally than on your own.
Why then do young people try to do everything to live separately on their own? Statistics have found that the age of separation from parents is decreasing every year. Now young people try to separate themselves as soon as they finish school. So what's the deal?
- Parental oppression. Parents are wiser, they always know everything better. Adults do not accept mistakes, because they chew everything so carefully to their foolish children. And young people want to make mistakes. And then learn and make mistakes again. How else to gain experience if not on your own?
- 24/7 control. You can't just come home at three in the morning without explanation. You must definitely say where and with whom you were, and also be sure to swear three times that this will not happen again.
- Eternal monitoring of progress. A C on an exam is a consequence of your drinking session with friends three months ago. So, no more discos anytime soon until you get a 4.9 GPA for the entire session.
- Constant guilt for doing everything wrong. Disappointment in the eyes of old people, which breaks their hearts and yours.
The advantages of living separately from your parents are that you lose all of the above. Be prepared to also lose a cozy environment, pocket money, round-the-clock love and care.
Thinking: men vs women
Of course, we think, feel and perceive the world differently. Just, dear women, have you ever wondered why you never hear about “single men”? It's about how they perceive periods of non-relationship. For them this is freedom! Why not also start looking at the situation from this angle?
We wonder how to learn to live alone. But it sounds somehow painful, with a slight note of sadness and suffering... Why have we stopped perceiving loneliness as a chance?
First part-time job
If you've never made money before, try to figure out what you're good at.
If you know that you are good at Russian language and literature, you can write essays for your classmates.
Okay, this isn't a completely legal example. Give private lessons to those who are lagging behind, provide tutoring. Don't worry: even astronauts and roboticists got their start with some crappy job as kids.
If you can't find a subject you're good at, find parents who need help with their child. Working as a part-time nanny for a few hours a week will help you start collecting your capital.
Pros : this type of work can be done without prior pedagogical training; you receive some kind of salary.
Cons : You may not have the patience to deal with capricious and restless creatures. After all, often these activities are needed not by them themselves, but by their parents.
Still not yours? Then pay attention to copywriting, contextual advertising, help with walking pets.
Here’s another great way to almost make money, which will allow you not to miss school or go to work.
When change is necessary
Do you feel that joy is gradually leaving your life and anxiety is growing, that your daily activities do not bring pleasure at all, but only take energy? This is a signal that you are living wrong. If at this stage you do not turn off the beaten path, it will lead you into the jungle of deep depression, from which it will be very difficult to get out.
Sometimes life decides for us and literally forces us to start over from scratch. This happens after the death of a very close person, loss of valuable property, divorce, loss of a job. In such situations, we have no choice but to gather our strength and build our lives from scratch. Unfortunately, not everyone has the strength to cope with severe shocks; some people “break down”. Therefore, it is better not to wait for serious problems and start changing your life for the better today.
If you are not satisfied with your life, but you just can’t decide to change, I advise you to read Brian Tracy’s book “Get Out of Your Comfort Zone. Change your life".
First job
Take a good look around: you can always find something to make money from.
It’s immediately clear that you won’t get as much money from a part-time job as from a full-time job. Therefore, having entered university, it’s time to think about finding something permanent and more serious than dog walking.
But how can this be done if the university requires you to attend all classes? Moreover, you need to turn in your homework, tests and labs on time. But work requires constant presence at certain hours, and being late is at least indecent. And the maximum that awaits you is that you will lose what you go there for: money.
Browse the advertisements. You will definitely find vacancies for merchandisers, promoters, couriers and other specialties that can be hired even if you are still 17.
As a rule, specialties that do not require special training and experience are paid in the amount of about 80 rubles per hour.
Pros : flexible work schedule, the ability to combine work, study and sports training or hobbies.
Cons : prepare to be tired, and very tired.
Here is an approximate weekly schedule that awaits you after getting a job, if you really want to start living separately from your parents.
This is what your work/school day might look like:
Don’t forget that even with work, you will have to incur some expenses:
Meals, travel and much more will now also have to be paid for independently.
This is also worth considering when choosing a job with a certain salary.
If you were under 18 years old when you started working, you will receive significantly less. Immediately after reaching adulthood, submit official documents to apply for a legal position. This will not only increase your level of earnings, but will also give a start to your work experience.
Here are some more useful tips for those living separately:
- Try to eat not in corporate canteens, but in the nearest cheap supermarkets. Food from Auchan will save you a lot of money.
- Don’t rush to buy yourself a cool training uniform from your first salary. Wait for your salary to increase, otherwise you will not be able to avoid debt.
- The better you study, the higher your scholarship. And a good scholarship is a good help for your salary.
- If you spend a lot of time traveling to/from work, take your homework with you. You will be surprised how much you can do in the time spent on public transport!
- Don't be afraid of difficulties. It will be hard at first. But over time, you will get into this rhythm and will cope with all the difficulties once or twice.
Is there life without a man?
If you are still in doubt, we will answer. Definitely yes! Many women in the world live without a permanent partner or are completely alone. And not all of them consider themselves unhappy and their lives meaningless.
If you come home and no one is waiting there, this does not mean that you should feel bad. Of course, the social stereotype makes itself felt. “Single at 30?”, “you’ll remain an old maid,” “lives without a husband, so no one needs you,” or what else do they say?
But it's important to understand why people say this. They themselves are afraid of loneliness, afraid to come to an empty apartment, afraid that their husband will leave them. This could be for various reasons:
- diffidence;
- dependence on your partner (emotional or financial);
- inability to live your own life and not poke your nose into someone else’s;
- lack of significant events, which leads to critical discussion of other people.
Don’t be strict, understand that saying offensive and bitter phrases to strangers is not a good thing...
Housing issues
Heaven in a hut can be even for one.
If a teenager already lives separately from his parents, then he knows what is possible and what is not.
But if separation from parents has not yet occurred, you need to know what you will have to face.
Dorm room
This only threatens the very, very purposeful:
- those who are excellent students;
- those who grew up in single-parent families, large families, military families, etc.;
- those who are in very difficult life situations (but be prepared to provide strong evidence).
However, this type of housing has quite contrasting advantages and disadvantages.
Pros : significant savings on rental housing; fun and freedom always reign; You can always get any materials for study, as well as simply for life - sugar, a blanket, yeast or a drinking buddy.
Cons : your neighbors will be not only classmates, but also other unwanted neighbors (cockroaches, bedbugs and other living creatures); regular passing of an additional “session” (fire safety rules, cleanup days, duty on duty, in the kitchen, on the floor, etc.); if you are late at a meeting with friends or with your parents, then after 23.00 you are unlikely to be allowed into the hostel ( this is the law!); you may come across a “not your dream” neighbor with whom you may have disagreements about the placement of things, cleaning, music or something else; It’s simply impossible to get enough sleep in a dorm.
Renting an apartment yourself
So, if you are a minor, then you need to know how long you can live separately from your parents. The law says that children under 14 years of age cannot be registered separately from their parents.
If there are compelling reasons, children may register at any location separate from their parents.
From the age of 16, if necessary, an emancipation procedure can be carried out - premature recognition as an adult.
All these difficulties can be completely avoided if you have a good relationship with your parents and they are not against the child starting to live separately at 15 years old or at any other age. In this case, they will help you with everything: in finding housing, concluding a rental agreement, and will also be responsible for you.
Renting a home yourself is very expensive. But we have some tips for you on how to reduce your tuition costs and help yourself and your parents a little.
The advantages of renting an entire apartment : the ability to receive guests or come home at any convenient time; housekeeping in the usual way, independence from the tastes and views of other people; choosing the right area (closer to work or university); you don’t have to worry about the integrity of your own belongings and products
Disadvantages of renting an entire apartment : high rental costs; the condition of the apartment is not always decent; landlords can show up without warning and raise rent without warning; may be asked to move out at any inconvenient moment; neighbors will keep a close eye on you and if there is loud music or guests, they may immediately call the police; The degree of wear and tear of furniture and equipment is unknown, so you are responsible for any damage.
Rent a room
Renting a room is much easier and cheaper than renting an entire apartment. And it seems like this is the same rented apartment, but not the whole thing, but only part of it.
But there are some nuances here that are worth knowing.
For example, my classmate rented a room in her first year from a seemingly sweet grandmother. But soon things took an unexpected turn. As soon as a student went to a disco or returned home 5 minutes later than the usual schedule of classes at the university, a sweet granny would play with her classmate’s mother and wash that bone. Not what we count on when we want to start an independent life, right?
However, if you come across an adequate owner (or even he will live separately and rent out the entire apartment room by room to different people), then there is quite a chance to live “high.”
Pros : you can choose the location of the apartment yourself; often good living conditions because often the owners themselves live in the same apartment and take care of the territory).
Cons : shared bathroom; restrictions on visits; inconvenience to the hosts if you return late; the possibility of running into inappropriate roommates.
An independent person - what is he like?
Before moving on to practical recommendations, let's draw up a portrait of an independent person. Independence in a global sense is the ability to provide oneself with everything necessary for a happy life. A person who has this quality is an autonomous, independent unit.
An independent person is able to provide for himself financially, create comfortable living conditions, maintain a consistently positive emotional background, and make responsible decisions independently.
Many people, reading the description of an independent person, imagine a kind of hermit who despises people. But this is not true at all. Independent people willingly interact with other individuals and do so very successfully. The more independent a person is, the easier it is for him to build relationships.
And all because dealing with them is a pleasure. They do not pull the blanket over themselves, do not try to sit on someone’s neck, and do not use tricks and manipulations. Due to the habit of relying on themselves in everything, they endure any difficulties. Next to them you feel like you are behind a stone wall. I believe that all people should strive for self-sufficiency and independence.
In the process of upbringing, the child gradually becomes independent. By the end of the first year of life, you can notice the first signs of independence in the baby. But the most organic time for the development of this quality comes at the age of 15–16 years. But even if you are already much older, do not despair. You can still get rid of infantilism and addiction by following special recommendations. The main thing is to want it.
