It happens that women suffer from a mental disorder, manifested in the form of an irrational pathological fear of males.
Often, at the philistine level, this mental disorder is mistakenly identified with militant feminism.
Although the similarity is purely external and superficial. This approach completely ignores the state of a woman’s mental health.
Causes of androphobia, or fear of men
What is the fear of men called? Androphobia. The main reason for the development of androphobia is psychological trauma associated with men. Once a woman suffered mentally or physically from a man, now she does not want this to happen again. That man could be a father, a brother, a family acquaintance, an ex-boyfriend or husband, or even a random passerby.
What is a girl with negative experience in relationships with men really afraid of:
- physical, psychological and sexual violence (beatings, insults, humiliation, coercion, etc.);
- material and financial problems (if there was such experience);
- betrayal (betrayal, career collapse);
- condemnation from other people (often found in women who experienced the death of their husband or live with prejudices).
A woman is afraid of experiencing physical and (or) mental pain again, of losing what she currently has. Someone is afraid of losing their job, someone is afraid of losing themselves, their hobby, their social circle, etc.
If the fear is associated with the father, then we are not necessarily talking about his negativity towards his daughter. Perhaps the girl watched her father beat and humiliate her mother. Most girls themselves become victims in the future and find their tyrant, while others try with all their might to avoid this. And because of this, fear of men develops.
Some girls are influenced by prejudice. For example, that a man should be older, taller and richer. Or that you can’t enter into intimate relationships before marriage. Because of this, some girls are afraid of relationships not with all men, but only with a certain group (depending on the destructive belief).
This is interesting! Male phobia is more common in women, but sometimes it develops in members of the same sex, regardless of sexual orientation. Fear of men develops due to childhood memories of the cruelty of a father, brother, other relative, or due to experience of violence.
Interesting Facts
Finally, two interesting facts about fear of men:
- Recently, the term “social androphobia” has become widespread. The media creates the idea that men are insensitive creatures - this modern trend leads to a reduction in life expectancy and an increase in diseases among the male sex;
- Very often, unenlightened people confuse the concept of illness with feminism. It is worth understanding the basic differences between a socio-political movement and a pathological condition. Feminists do not oppose males, but only defend their freedoms and rights.
We talked about the symptoms and treatment of androphobia - if you are faced with a pathological condition and find signs in yourself or a loved one, we recommend that you urgently consult a specialist. Be careful and take care of your mental health!
Symptoms
The main psychological symptom of a phobia is a panicky irrational fear when approaching the object of the phobia or when expecting contact with it. Moreover, panic occurs in response to a fictitious development of events. Everything happens exclusively in the androphobe’s head. There is no real danger.
The situations in which panic begins depend on the stage of development of the phobia. Some panic when communicating, some when shaking hands, some when hugging, and some when receiving romantic gestures from men.
Physical signs are nonspecific:
- tremor,
- shiver,
- chills,
- cardiopalmus,
- pressure fluctuations,
- dizziness,
- nausea,
- weakness,
- breathing problems.
Girls who suffer from a phobia experience anxiety before meeting a man. In advanced stages, it turns into panic attacks.
Symptoms of fear
Girls can deny their fear of the stronger sex for quite a long period. But if every time she sees the opposite sex, when she tries to get closer to a man and build a relationship with him, she experiences unjustified fear - androphobia occurs here.
Androphobia lies precisely in the irrational fear of the male half of humanity. Other symptoms of fear include:
- Fear of being in popular places.
- Painful emotional sensations during any contact with the stronger sex.
- The habit common to many women of creating a far-fetched image of their ideal man, the hero of her novel, with whom she would willingly build a strong and trusting relationship, created a family. The bad thing is that at the same time the woman retains a subconscious fear of the strong half of humanity from real life.
- Shackling fear, chilling horror even at the slightest bodily accidental touch with a man.
Physiological signs of androphobia:
- Hand trembling.
- Anxious facial expression, nervous muscle twitching.
- Increased sweating.
- Frequent need to visit the toilet.
- Vomit.
- Panic attacks.
Often representatives of the fair half of humanity incorrectly interpret the panic and anxiety inherent in androphobia. There are often cases when a woman, not realizing that she has androphobia, calls for help in order to get rid of internal experiences with drugs and alcohol. This leads to aggravation of the situation when the mental state worsens. Only a qualified psychiatrist can help solve the problem.
The reasons for fear most often voiced by patients at psychiatrist appointments are:
- Fear of resuming the old-fashioned picture of relationships between men and women, where the head of the family is a tyrant who must be obeyed.
- Fear of being suppressed, oppressed and insulted by a man. Sometimes - the desire to subjugate men herself, so as not to leave any chance to subjugate herself to them. Fear of rape, violence in general, and also murder.
- Fear of situations where a woman will not be able to defend herself or provide effective resistance.
After talking with the patient and identifying the causes of androphobia, the psychiatrist prescribes an individual course of treatment for her. Often it involves conducting psychotherapy sessions. But in severe cases of nervous manifestations of phobia, it is possible to include medicinal treatment - mainly mild sedatives.
Manifestations of phobic disorder
Fear of men has several varieties. Let's take a closer look at what androphobia actually is.
Fear of a serious relationship in a woman
Modern women are more likely than men to not want to get married. This is explained by the emancipation of girls. Most of them have retreated from the idea of patriarchy and do not want to devote their lives to family and children. They build a career, have fun, and develop comprehensively. In this context, a serious relationship with a man is perceived as a burden. Some women feel so self-sufficient that they see no point in getting along with someone else's character traits, habits, and needs. Such women are afraid that marriage will destroy their lives, interfere with personal self-realization, and deprive them of personal space.
For other women, fear of relationships arises for the opposite reason. They are insecure and do not trust men. Maybe they would like to leave their job and raise children, but they are afraid that the man will not be able to cope with such responsibility.
Some women do not want to enter into a serious relationship because of the myth that a husband's attitude towards his wife changes for the worse. This belief is formed due to suggestibility, stories from friends and stories from the media. In fact, relationships in or outside of marriage depend on two people, and women often change their attitude towards their spouse and themselves. They stop taking care of themselves, take off the mask they wore before the wedding, express constant complaints, and make the main mistake - they try to re-educate the man, becoming his mother.
Fear of close relationships (intimacy)
Fear of intimacy may be associated with a negative first experience of intimacy. Or with rape. In this case, behind the phobia lies a feeling of shame, pain, and disappointment.
Fear of intimate relationships with men can also be indirect in nature. For example, in previous relationships there were often conflicts and scandals, the woman did not love her husband and went to bed in the same bed out of a sense of duty, each intimacy could be called voluntary rape.
In some cases, behind the fear of intimacy there may be a fear of pregnancy or a fear of not pleasing a partner or disappointing him. And this may also hide a woman’s lack of acceptance of her body and complexes. Or parental attitudes about the sinfulness of sex, a ban on relationships with men.
It is important! If a woman suffers from somatic or psychosomatic female diseases, then this can cause pain during sex. Which also contributes to the development of fear of intimacy.
Fear of new relationships after a breakup
Fear of a new relationship arises after a painful breakup with a guy. Especially if the separation occurred on the initiative of a man. A woman develops two beliefs: “all men are assholes” and “there’s something wrong with me.” A woman begins to look for flaws in herself, and sees a former partner in every man. Moreover, because she is fixated on shortcomings, she only meets the same men, which confirms her belief.
Fear of repeating the experience
Parental divorce or personal experience of divorce leaves a negative impression of family relationships. If a woman completely refuses a relationship, then the issue is negative memories of the relationship in general, and not just within the framework of marriage.
If the experience of the parents is to blame, then the girl may not even remember the relationship between her parents. But the girl remembers what her mother told her. And she said that dad was bad and in general all men were dangerous creatures who should not be messed with.
Fear of falling in love
Behind this lies the fear of emotions and the fear of close relationships. A person is afraid of losing control over himself, of being at the mercy of emotions. Such people are used to controlling everything; they prefer to be guided by their mind rather than their heart. Typically, this happens for two reasons:
- strict family upbringing, prohibition on expression and manifestation of feelings;
- mental suffering, after which a person decided to completely abandon emotions.
Such people do not let anyone close to them. Moreover, they can be in a relationship, but the mind never gives in to feelings. Their relationship is always formal and of a business nature. Because of coldness, prudence and restraint, people with fear of falling in love find themselves alone.
It is important! Women's fear of men is rarely presented in one form. More often, several varieties and several reasons are combined. For example, the fear of falling in love is combined with the fear of repeating the experience or with childhood psychotrauma due to the costs of upbringing.
Fear of disappointment
Some women are afraid of being disappointed in a relationship and a man. These fears are associated with an inflated level of aspirations, excessive criticism, inflated demands on men, and the search for an unattainable ideal. Such women are fixated on shortcomings and dream of a relationship without contradictions. Any collision with reality leads to disappointment.
Fear of responsibility
Closely related to the fear of serious relationships. A woman is not ready to care for a man, give birth and raise children. If a girl lives with her parents, then perhaps she is not ready for independent life at all. In this case, we are talking about infantilism.
Fear of Rejection
Associated with uncertainty, low self-esteem, inferiority complex and fear of loss. The girl considers herself unattractive and unworthy. Subconsciously, she expects that she will be abandoned sooner or later. The reason for this attitude towards oneself must be sought in childhood; probably, there was not enough parental love, their acceptance and understanding. The fear of being rejected may be associated with resentment against her father if the girl views his leaving the family as a betrayal, a rejection of her.
How to get rid of the fear of losing a man and the fear of being rejected? You need to understand that with paranoid thoughts you only worsen the relationship. Parting happens for one reason - people's paths diverge. Each person grows and changes throughout his life, not necessarily in the same direction as his partner. Sometimes discrepancies occur. And instead of wasting time and clinging to the past, it is better to go into the future and meet your person. Think about whether your fear is related to dependence on your partner. What to do in this case? Get out of dependent relationships.
Diagnostics and testing
Fear of men is one of the most complex phobias. It is complicated in that it has several varieties and a lot of possible causes. Therefore, it is better to entrust the diagnosis to a professional. The specialist will analyze the client’s life history and development, find the root cause of the phobia and determine the severity of the disease. The specialist will also determine whether there are other psychological disorders.
It is important! Only a psychotherapist will explain the psychology of a particular case and tell you how to overcome your fear of men. There is no special testing to identify a phobia, but a psychologist will select a set of tests to diagnose a person.
Transformation of a phobia
Unlike other phobias, the fear of men is hidden behind masks, that is, it is transformed. Let's look at how androphobia manifests itself.
Children's and teen events
Antisocial behavior of parents and family disharmony turns into personal disharmony. Children and adolescents with androphobia are characterized by cruelty and aggressiveness. Those around them see them as selfish, but in reality such children do not accept and do not love themselves, since they associate themselves with their parents.
In adolescents, phobia has specific bodily manifestations:
- increased sweating;
- increased greasiness of skin and hair;
- excess weight;
- acne;
- delay in the development of secondary sexual characteristics.
Smells
People are animals, albeit socialized ones. We smell other people, although we are not always aware of it. But on a subconscious level, likes and dislikes are largely related to smells. We are attracted to people who smell opposite to us.
Social background
A woman's lack of self-confidence and disgust for her appearance may be hidden behind a fear of men. In this case, the phobia is represented by a passion for plastic surgery, cosmetic procedures, injections, etc. And also such women tend to compete with other girls.
Morality
Some androphobes, afraid of sex, hide behind morality. They regard sex as something primitive, low, and unworthy. Instead, they choose self-development, asexuality, loneliness, and dangerous entertainment.
Surrogate for intimacy
It is based on the mechanism of sublimation and compensation. For example, a woman can give birth to a child and give all her feelings to him, and not to a man. Someone gets a pet and devotes their life to caring for it. Some people become attached to their parents and live with them for the rest of their lives. Someone becomes attached to an idol and lives in dreams. Someone clings to past relationships in their memories.
Behavior of androphobes
Androphobes expect betrayal from men, impudent or insulting behavior. And they find confirmation of their beliefs. Such women compete with men and try to achieve financial and moral independence. Some women resort to artificial insemination from a donor and rationally approach the choice of the father of the child. Depending on the characteristics of the phobia, the woman completely avoids contact with men or communicates only with subordinates. Or uses men for sexual pleasure and other entertainment. Some women embrace feminism or become lesbians. Others avoid men and potential places where males gather.
general information
Anthropophobia in its severe form is when the patient is afraid of any person, regardless of his gender, appearance, etc. But more often there is fear of any social, ethnic, professional group, people with certain external characteristics, a certain age and/or floor.
The most common types of fear of people include dentophobia (fear of dentists) and coulrophobia (fear of clowns). The occurrence of such phobias can even be explained by completely logical reasons. Dentophobia is often based on a natural human fear of pain and is usually associated with past negative experiences where the dentist actually caused pain.
The fear of clowns is associated with their strange, unpredictable behavior, partly reminiscent of the behavior of a madman. And everything that cannot be understood and predicted often frightens people.
There are more than 100 types of fear of people. Among them:
- Judeophobia – fear of Jews;
- Russophobia - fear of Russians;
- gerontophobia – fear of older people;
- pogonophobia – fear of bearded people;
- xenophobia - fear of strangers, strangers, foreigners;
- Wiccaphobia - fear of witches, etc.
Possible consequences
The main consequence of androphobia is loneliness, absence of family and children. Fears prevent you from meeting a man; a woman risks being left alone. And some women cannot even build a career because they have difficulty communicating with their boss. In some cases, the phobia leads to isolation.
A woman suffers from disharmony within herself. Every person has feminine and masculine energy, feminine and masculine qualities. For full self-realization, the ability to combine masculine and feminine principles is important. If a woman is afraid of men, it means that she is afraid of a part of herself, she is giving up a part of herself.
What problems can be confused with haptophobia?
In some cases, haptophobia may be hiding other problems. Fear of people's touch may be part of autism, psychasthenia, or mental retardation.
What else could be hiding behind the mask of haptophobia:
- paranoia and schizophrenia,
- avoidant disorder
- agoraphobia,
- psychosis,
- asexuality.
However, fear of touch is not always masked or part of other psychological problems. Sometimes it can be confused with personality traits, for example, when a person has too wide a personal space. Authoritarianism and perfectionism can also look like haptophobia.
How to overcome relationship fear
Psychotherapy and medications are used in the treatment of androphobia. The question of how to overcome fear is decided on an individual basis. It is necessary to analyze a specific case in detail.
Professional psychological help for androphobia
The method of hypnosis and cognitive behavioral psychotherapy are effective. However, to work through deep psychological trauma, it is better to first use psychoanalysis. It is important to understand the root cause, and then begin to get closer to men in the present through cognitive psychotherapy. If necessary, the psychotherapist prescribes tranquilizers, antidepressants, and sedatives.
It is important! Treatment depends on the severity of the disease and the characteristics of the client. Only a psychotherapist can correctly select methods of psychotherapy, a general course of psychotherapy and a course of medications.
Is it possible to help yourself?
The causes of androphobia lie deep in the subconscious. It is almost impossible to determine them on your own. The true cause and object of fear may be hidden under the guise of other experiences.
At a mild stage of a phobia, you can try to independently realize the irrationality of fear. It is important to understand that not all men are dangerous, not all relationships with men are bad. Try to pay attention to the positive traits of men. Pay attention to the fathers who walk with their children in the park. Or a boss who is polite to female subordinates. Pay attention to young people in public transport who give up their seats or help women lift their bags. Imagine what the world would be like without men. Remember how many men are involved in science and politics. Record your observations.
In general, the principles of self-relief are the same as in professional treatment: stop avoiding the object of fear, gradually get closer to it. At the same time, it is important to work on increasing self-esteem and overall stress resistance.
It is important! In order to get rid of a phobia forever, you need to work not only with the present, but also with the past. We need to change our attitude towards traumatic experiences.
Is it possible to recover from arachnophobia?
Modern medicine knows how to cure arachnophobia. Along with psychotherapeutic treatment, a medicinal method of getting rid of the disease is used.
Drug treatment
Medicines for fear of spiders are used extremely rarely, only in severe advanced cases. The following medications are used to relieve the symptoms of panic attacks:
- antidepressants,
- nootropic drugs,
- tranquilizers.
Psychotherapy usually helps to cope with the disease.
Psychotherapy for spider phobia
Among the many psychotherapeutic methods for treating spider phobia, the most effective are:
- A confrontational method, during which the doctor deliberately confronts the patient with the subject of fear. In the initial stages, the patient learns to manage his fears by watching images of spiders. At the last stages of treatment, direct contact of the arachnophobe with arthropods is allowed under the supervision of a specialist. In this way, a person realizes that spiders do not pose a danger, and develops the habit of reacting evenly to their appearance in the immediate vicinity.
- “Virtual” method of combating spider phobia, developed and tested by Russian specialists. During the treatment process, the patient, using special equipment, is immersed in virtual reality, where he will have to meet and defeat a large number of arthropods. In this way, the arachnophobe acquires the ability to control his fears and gradually completely gets rid of the phobia. American psychotherapists use a similar technique, offering patients computer games, the main task of which is to defeat spiders. Spanish psychotherapists have noticed that treatment is more effective if patients touch the monitor with their fingers while playing.
- A behavioral therapy method that involves the patient having direct contact with spiders. First with the smallest and most harmless in appearance, then all with larger individuals (up to the tarantula spider). Experts who use this method believe that avoiding the subject of fear strengthens the phobia, and frequent direct contact helps to overcome fears.
- Overcompensation technology (can be used as part of behavioral therapy, or as an independent method of treatment). The point is that the arachnophobe deliberately keeps an arachnid in his home, cares for it, feeds it, and creates favorable conditions for existence. This method allows the patient not only to overcome his fears, but also to feel more complete.
"Communication" with a spider
- The graphic method of treatment is that the patient is asked to draw an object of fear, that is, a spider, then destroy it (tear, burn or drown the drawing, sketch the image). As a rule, huge arachnid monsters appear in the first drawings, but each time the arthropods become smaller and cuter. The phobia is considered defeated if the patient begins to draw kind and cute spiders and refuses to destroy them.
- A method of deep psychoanalysis, which allows you to transfer a problem from the depths of the subconscious to the surface of consciousness and fight with suitable methods.
- Hypnosis sessions also help to cope with arachnophobia in a short time.
Important! Psychotherapists select treatment for each patient personally, taking into account the degree of the disease and its individual characteristics.
How to get rid of arachnophobia yourself
The initial stages of the disease or mild degrees of arachnophobia can be cured on your own. Psychotherapists believe that traditional methods of dealing with any phobias are also relevant for fear of spiders.
How to overcome arachnophobia yourself:
- Stop discussing your fears in detail with many strangers. It's better to trust a specialist. In addition, repeated re-experiencing of fear aggravates the situation.
- Learn meditation or other relaxation methods.
- Realize responsibility for your fear, overcome it and force yourself to touch the spider.
- Study the literature on this topic, learn about the habits, lifestyle and structure of arthropods. Accept that spiders are not dangerous.
- Do several exercises aimed at eliminating phobias.