Love and relationships between a man and a woman are wonderful. People in love stop noticing other people around them, for them there is only their soulmate, but it happens that a man grows cold towards his partner, so he is looking for something on the side, and then cheating appears. How to understand that a man has another woman besides you?
Surely any adult woman has had some strange thoughts about whether she is alone with her man. This situation is very sad, but at the first thought there is no need to throw some kind of hysterics, reproach yourself for wrong behavior, try to track down something, and so on. In such cases, you just need to calm down and wait for the man himself, accidentally or not, to reveal the truth.
Changes in appearance
You can understand that a man has another woman by his dramatically changed behavior, which is not at all characteristic of him. In this case, you need to, without further ado and hysterics, just start carefully observing the man.
Very often, when men find another woman, they begin to carefully monitor their appearance, visiting high-level hairdressers, the gym, spending a lot of time in the bathroom in front of the mirror, dressing stylishly and much more. He begins to choose sexy underwear for himself, a new cologne, which his mistress may have chosen. Men want to match their chosen one, especially if she is younger than them.
Emotions
A married couple is, first of all, a man and a woman who tend to naturally show emotions of mutual love:
- kisses;
- hugs;
- compliments.
A man’s refusal of these emotional manifestations towards his wife should raise alarm bells.
Delays at work2
Of course, a man begins to stay late after work very often; if earlier he rushed home to rest, do some business, or spend time with you or with the children, now you can notice that he has various problems at work, which before It never happened. Now he has eternal “tips”, a large number of meetings, business trips to another city, which he previously refused in every possible way.
Usually, a man returns home from his mistress very clean; he may smell of soap or shower gel, behind which there is no sense of the natural body odor that is produced during the day.
Behavior
New words, expressions and even intonations appear in the partner’s vocabulary. This means the presence of an environment influencing a man.
The partner becomes forgetful, absent-minded, unfocused. Forgot to pay bills, pick up the child from kindergarten, etc.
The newly emerged secrecy and isolation in the husband’s behavior should also raise alarm bells. The life of a double agent requires tension and precautions so as not to screw up.
The man becomes picky: the children make loud noise, the cutlets are too salty, the dress doesn’t fit right. In psychology, this is called transferring blame to the partner. In other words: “It’s your fault that I’m cheating, not me.”
Read How to improve your relationship with your husband and save your family
Your partner often lies. Inconsistencies appear in minor everyday moments.
Attitude towards your woman5
The cheater stops paying attention to you, your intimate relationship is reduced to zero, he compares you with other women - this is what should definitely make you think about your mistress. The man is dissatisfied with you, because on the other side he sees something better than you, well, at least it seems so to him.
Sometimes men feel truly sorry because they do not understand that their woman at the beginning of the relationship was completely different, as beautiful as a mistress, but it is because of men and their behavior that women become different.
There is also the other side of the coin, when a man, on the contrary, begins to shower his woman with gifts, admire you, arrange some kind of dates, trips to your parents and much more.
Telephone
Nowadays, a smartphone is the first and main source of information. Thanks to the telephone, it is possible to learn a lot about a person’s life, if not everything.
- The man does not let go of the gadget. The phone is next to him always and everywhere. The husband does not forget to take the phone when he moves from room to room, goes to the restroom, bathroom, and puts it next to him on the bed.
- The man turns the gadget over with the screen facing down.
- Sets additional security - passwords, unlocking using facial recognition, etc.
- Turns on silent mode so that you don't hear constantly incoming messages.
Any change related to a gadget should be treated with caution.
STD8
Sexual health. Men who sleep with women on the side make one very stupid mistake - they do not use protection during sexual intercourse, so men begin to protect their wife or girlfriend and stop having an intimate life with her.
Very often they begin to come up with very stupid excuses, saying that they caught the disease in the pool, in the bathhouse and in other various places where, of course, the disease can be caught.
If you nevertheless find out about betrayal, then you shouldn’t act out of your hand. You can discuss everything calmly and simply find out what your man was missing in you, that he took on another woman. You need to remember that any relationship can be returned and saved, because affairs on the side are not at all serious.
How to find out that your husband has another woman
It can be very difficult for both men and women to keep the fact of betrayal to themselves. Psychological pressure affects both partners. As a result, relationships crack and marriages often break up.
For women, intuition is an assistant, which rarely makes mistakes and gives clues about the betrayal of a loved one.
But even the sixth sense is based on obvious facts in a man’s behavior, as well as indirect ones, which, by the way, are not always noticeable at first glance.
Psychology of male infidelity
There may be several reasons for men to cheat.
How to get your mistress away from your husband?
The following are considered the main ones:
- Physiological,
- Alcohol, after a “good” party,
- The desire to rise in the eyes of friends,
- Family routine, routine relationships,
- Dissatisfaction in intimate life, which a man is embarrassed to talk about directly,
- Revenge of a loved one for a wrongdoing.
It’s interesting that if a woman doesn’t find out about a man’s infidelity, in the young man’s opinion, it’s as if it never happened.
80% of unfaithful husbands do not leave their wives
If a man decides to have sex with someone else, then, as a rule, he has no thoughts about leaving the family. More often than not, women initiate divorces after their spouses cheat on them.
Signs of betrayal
If there is reason to doubt your spouse’s fidelity, you should not immediately act rashly.
First you need to compare all the data and facts, and then navigate according to the circumstances.
Treason can be determined by both physiological and psychological characteristics.
Physiological
According to research, it is easier for a man to be caught cheating than a girl. Physiology plays a key role.
Watch the video. Signs of male infidelity. How to find out if he is cheating or not?
It’s worth figuring out in advance what signs in male physiology really indicate infidelity:
- Sudden changes in behavior. For example, my husband suddenly fell in love with a previously hated job, and things appeared in perfect order. You should be especially wary of drastic and unexpected changes,
- Excessive self-care. A man tries to look better, went to the gym. At the same time, he had no such desire to take care of himself before,
- Indifference or excessive concern. In the first case, there is a fading interest, in the second - a desire to make amends,
- Unexpected gifts, especially if the man was previously stingy with them. The young man is trying to pay off his guilt with gifts,
- Protects equipment and personal data. He puts a password on his computer and carries his phone with him all the time,
- Unexpected expenses. Men have very developed rationality, especially in terms of finances. If the chosen one cannot explain where part of the family budget went, you should be wary. But if the amount disappeared only once and it was insignificant, there is no need to sound alarm bells. It is quite possible that the man bought himself some item that he had long dreamed of and did not tell his wife,
- Frequent delays and emergency business trips.
My husband left for his mistress - how long will it take for him to want to go home?
This group also includes changes in sexual life and spouse preferences. An unexpectedly playful mood may also indicate an affair on the side, which the man is trying to hide.
Psychological
The psychological aspect of betrayal is also noticeable. However, it may take a little longer to identify it.
The main features are the following:
- If a man is completely immersed in a new relationship, he stops noticing his wife. He won’t appreciate a new hairstyle or suit, and will perceive a new dish in his diet as a banal dinner. When such a sign appears, betrayal is literally written on his face,
- Changing the attitude towards the woman herself. For him, now she only plays the role of a certain servant who irritates him at the slightest provocation. As a woman, a wife ceases to interest a man. And he himself becomes unbearable and aggressive,
- A man tries to change his life, to go beyond the usual boundaries for no known reason.
There is a certain category of men who feel guilty having an affair. Family life suits them, but something is missing. As a result, in order to make amends, such people can pay off with gifts or going out with their wife, which occur more often than usual.
What to do
The mistake many women make after their fears are confirmed is to overreact. Some people throw tantrums right at work, ruining both their reputation and that of men.
Psychologists give women a number of tips regarding behavior in case of cheating on their husband:
- The most common mistake is excessive emotionality. If a woman now allows her reputation to decline, then she will definitely not be able to save her family. Calmness and rationality are the key to successfully resolving the problem. You need to discuss the current situation with your husband, and not put a spoke in his wheels,
- We need to try to understand what the woman herself was guilty of. Treason is a situation in which two are guilty. Yes, the man behaved incorrectly. But a woman could also add fuel to the fire with her behavior. Being too busy at work, ignoring his requests or lack of attention to your appearance - all this can become a reason for a man to betray him,
- Before you start a conversation with a man, you should definitely do some self-analysis. It often happens that girls forcefully forgive betrayal out of fear of being left alone. In the case when a lady is not able to forgive betrayal, you should not put pressure on yourself. Self-respect is the basis of spiritual harmony for a woman.
These tips will help you more easily survive the betrayal of your beloved man.
It is worth paying attention to the husband’s attitude after he was identified. If he feels guilty and sincerely repents, that’s one thing. Another is when a man begins to behave even more aggressively. In this case, it is really better for the woman to leave than to endure such mockery of herself.
Psychologist's advice
The psychology of betrayal is a complex but interesting science. It happens that one of the partners drives the other to cheating with their behavior. And it happens that relationships simply outlive themselves, reaching the point of no return.
How to understand that your husband is cheating and deceiving?
In any case, if betrayal has occurred, then there can be no talk of harmony in the family. An event like this doesn't just happen. Most likely, the spouses' discontent reached its climax, and understatements in the relationship also played a role.
Psychologists advise not to be afraid to express dissatisfaction to your partner even at the stage of its appearance. The sooner a stumbling block is discovered, the easier it is to find a compromise in a constructive conversation. But if a man avoids conversations in every possible way, then it’s definitely worth thinking about.
When analyzing the situation, it is important to take into account some more nuances. For example, how often is betrayal repeated? If this was an isolated incident and the husband feels guilty, you can give him a chance.
It is also important to consider your own attitude towards betrayal. Some forgive, but for some, betrayal is akin to betrayal.
Sign 4. No contacts - no problems
Nowadays, it has become the norm not to save contacts of acquaintances, because many people have been communicating for a long time using social networks and instant messengers. However, an empty phone book on a smartphone can also signal adultery. If there are no contacts in the gadget, the deceiver will not have to come up with code names and nicknames for his lovers or mistresses. In addition, any call from an unfamiliar number will not seem suspicious.
My high school boyfriend never saved phone numbers on his phone. He claimed that he was simply "too lazy." It turns out that the unsaved numbers belonged to his many girlfriends,” Ashbrincon shared.
External change
A man’s appearance can speak very eloquently about the emergence of a new passion. If your boyfriend has never taken special care of himself, but suddenly he started shaving every day, bought a new perfume, and began ironing the collars of his shirt, then you should take a closer look at him.
But remember that changes in appearance may be associated with a transition to a new position, for example. Therefore, do not rush at him with accusations if the guy suddenly starts wearing classic suits instead of the usual T-shirt and jeans.
Sign 9. Money will tell the truth
Adultery requires not only a lot of time, but also money. The deceiver can pay for meetings in hotels and gifts for his lover using the card, but this will be too noticeable. Pay attention to your spouse's expenses, namely the history of cash withdrawals and online transfers, because an unfaithful partner sometimes makes secret purchases through friends. To do this, he asks a friend to order the necessary item, and then transfers money for it. So, other halves think that their spouse simply returned or lent the amount to his friend.
Sign 1. Friends have become enemies
An unexplained change in relationships with a partner's friends can be a significant sign of adultery. Sometimes a cheater turns those around him against his chosen one in order to somehow justify his betrayal. It also happens that acquaintances stop communicating with their friend’s significant other because they project his behavior onto themselves, and they feel awkward in the presence of their deceived spouse.
A Reddit user with the nickname caramel311 said that one of the reasons why she suspected her husband of cheating was the unreasonable irritability and hate from his friends.
All his friends start hating me for some unknown reason, talking bad about me to my face and behind my back and wishing for me to die. It turned out that he was on dating sites and planned to send me 700 kilometers to another state against my will and continue a relationship with another woman in his city, send me money weekly and visit me on weekends to create the illusion of marriage. Yes, this man was my husband. Now ex.
Generosity
Unplanned gifts, vacation trips, flowers for no reason. From a psychological point of view, such behavior is regarded as unconscious bribery.
Naturally, the man realizes his guilt before the deceived woman. Thus, the partner unconsciously tries to make up for the emotional damage caused to his victim and make amends for his guilt.
You shouldn’t be instantly happy when the husband immediately agrees and approves of separate trips, sending his wife and children to the seaside or to grandma’s, with a smile on his face, having paid for the trip in advance. It is quite possible that a man is buying time together with his mistress.
How to catch cheating using a DNA test
To conduct a DNA test for infidelity, the direct participation of a partner is not required . It is enough to provide samples of biomaterial containing genetic information for analysis.
After DNA extraction and testing, an expert opinion is drawn up, the probability of which is 99.999999% for a positive result, and 100% for a negative result. This document may well serve as an argument in establishing the truth and resolving family disputes.
Sign 2. Cheap gifts from relatives
One of the warning signs of an impending separation is cheap gifts from the partner’s relatives. Perhaps things have gone so far that your significant other has decided to break off the relationship, and his/her close circle already knows about it. Why would they then spend money on a person who will soon be abandoned? Most likely, the parents of the cheater will give the current chosen one an inexpensive trinket, because the absence of a gift would reveal the betrayal ahead of time.
So, one guy (joestele) suspected something was wrong during a holiday in the house of the girl’s relatives after they gave him a cheap thing.
Her parents were quite wealthy and always gave us the best Christmas gifts. One Christmas, as usual, she received an expensive gift, and I received something that cost nothing at all. Two days later I discovered that she was cheating with my best friend. Her parents knew.
Cold bed
The man has found another girl for love pleasures and therefore at home he no longer needs your attention in bed. One of the most common signs is that you are not having sex. He no longer likes to lie with you just in an embrace, he began to kiss you less often and show male attention.
But here, too, you shouldn’t ring the bell right away. Perhaps your partner has serious health problems, but he doesn’t want to tell you, he’s embarrassed or afraid. Therefore, before attacking him, try to figure out exactly all the possible options.
Finance
A relationship with a mistress is always an additional expense. The excuses are varied:
- car maintenance has become more expensive;
- bought expensive tires;
- wages were cut;
- did not pay the promised bonus.
Increased costs are becoming systematic.
