They say that a person can be read like an open book by his body movements, and girls often use this knowledge. After all, I really want to understand how you can recognize the gestures of a man in love and what men use to get closer to the woman they like.
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Male body language - eyes
A man's body language is much more economical than that of women.
For guys, you should watch not so much their facial expressions as the expression of their eyes and the size of their pupils. Often, the movement of the eyeballs can say more than the most beautiful gestures and words. Human eye signals are unconditioned reflexes. Signals of this type include, for example, the dilation of the pupils every time the object of the guy’s sighs comes into view. This is a natural reaction of the body, aimed at the possibility of more accurate observation of a woman. Dilation of the pupils is also accompanied by an acceleration of the heart rate. So if you notice this phenomenon in men, it may be a sign that your presence is causing his heart palpitations.
Often a man's eyes say more than the words he speaks. Pay attention to whether the man maintains eye contact and whether he pays attention to your mouth. If he looks from one to the other, most likely he is thinking about a kiss.
The expression of the eyes also says a lot about the feelings that a man’s heart hides. Often, small, almost imperceptible wrinkles appear around the eyes of a man in love, looking at the object of his love. The eyes may appear more cheerful or a little vacant, depending on the situation and the method of communication.
The eye signals of a man interested in a woman almost always reflect his intentions. Men are visual creatures, so if they are interested in a particular person, most often they will just look at it a lot and often. This is the first signal that he is interested in a particular woman. However, it is worth remembering that signals from a man’s eyes alone are not enough to determine his intentions. To get the correct interpretation, it is advisable to pay attention to facial expressions, hand function and posture.
Interpretation of touch
The language of a man’s touch is very simple and, as a rule, easy to decipher and recognize. Nonverbal sexual signals of men are similar for all nationalities and help to navigate well when it is impossible to establish verbal contact or when you have a suspicion that they are telling you a lie.
Sexual signals of the first level are light flirting, when a man is just looking at his partner. The interpretation of touch brings into this category such non-verbal gestures as straightening the hair in women and sucking in the stomach in men. The main goal is to attract and fix the partner’s attention on your person.
You can use a separate column to highlight the pose of the person who wants to attract your attention. Even outwardly, the man begins to appear taller, significant, his back straightens, his shoulders rise and spread to the side, his whole appearance seems to say: “I am the most beautiful, presentable and worthy of attention.”
We are talking about unconscious impulses without specific intentions. If the relationship develops, it makes sense to study the interpretation of touch: second-level sexual signals.
You will notice how the man gradually reduces the distance and strives to get as close as possible. His voice becomes louder than usual, the interlocutor laughs excessively loudly, and actively reacts to every word you say.
His posture also changes: the man tries to either spread his legs wider (seduction is a real battle with providence, so he needs to stand firmly on his feet), or, on the contrary, demonstrates outright relaxation and imposingness.
Male body language - body position
A man's body language says a lot about his intentions. The simplest signal transmitted through a man's body language is the expansion of his legs in a sitting position. This indicates that he would like to be noticed, that he is important, commands respect, and needs a lot of space. Often this position adds courage and self-confidence to a man, and should also attract the attention of women to him. Unfortunately, it also indicates an insane ego and an overly high opinion of oneself.
A man's body language signals also indicate how close he is to you. If during a conversation he takes a rigidly upright position or recoils slightly back, he may be distancing himself from you. However, if he leans forward a little when the circumstances do not require it (for example, noise), this may mean that he wants to be closer to you. This method is also used in the case of manipulation, when a person wants to convince you of his opinion, so you should also pay attention to the expression of the eyes and the general expression of the face.
Moving lower
Although a man's head can best tell us about secret sympathy or love, the rest of the body also has several curious manifestations of nascent feelings.
1) Shoulders and chest
A technique that is popular not only among people but also among many animals, especially birds. Remember how peacocks, roosters or parrots inflate their chests in order to appear larger and more dangerous in the eyes of their enemies and, above all, females.
Do you think men have come far from such tricks? A protruding chest, a straight back and unusually broad shoulders are signs of a real male!
The main thing is that your boyfriend does not overdo it and does not cause a fit of uncontrollable laughter instead of delight. A man's gestures when he is in love very often go beyond what is acceptable.
2) Belly
Well, with this part of the body in men, everything is either good or bad - it’s all about the dice.
Owners of a beer belly will try to pull in their dignity in order to look better in the eyes of the ladies, lucky ones with abs will try to flash their six-pack in front of you on the beach or in the gym.
And finally, men without any special achievements in the abdominal area will simply try to focus less attention on it, feeling guilty for not paying due attention to the abs at one time.
3) Hands
First of all, the man's gesticulation is obviously activated. He will want to tell everything as interesting and exciting as possible, which will require all the techniques of his body.
Also, his hands will try to touch you, hug or stroke you as unobtrusively as possible. If your communication is not so close, a man may limit himself to simply approaching you and entering your comfort zone.
For almost all men, hands have a special meaning, because they contain their strength. Having sculpted biceps, your interlocutor will strain them from time to time and take poses in which his achievements in the gym will be clearly visible to you.
4) Legs
This part of the body can tell you a lot about your man's character. Firmly and confidently, like a monolith, the interlocutor standing on his feet speaks of seriousness and determination with his whole appearance.
A man dancing and stepping from foot to foot shows with his movements either uncertainty and frivolity of intentions, or a cheerful and playful mood. But it’s unlikely that he sees a hint of seriousness in your communication.
Also take a look at how wide the man spread his legs. This, like the protruding chest, speaks of his self-confidence.
Watch men on the subway or on the bus. Sometimes their self-confidence is so great that they occupy two or even three places at the same time.
It's funny, but in 2021, the Madrid authorities officially banned men from spreading their legs wide on public transport, so as not to cause discomfort to other passengers.
Male body language - gestures
A man's body signals, expressed excessively or too sparingly, say a lot about what he thinks about his interlocutor. It is also important that they perform more or less conscious movements in the company of the person with whom they were fascinated.
Often a man's body language indicates his nervousness, as well as his desire to make a good impression on a woman. Such signals include, for example, excessive sweating of the hands, constant smoothing of the hair, or touching the face. A man wants to make sure that he looks the part, so he often even unconsciously performs gestures aimed at establishing this opinion.
Another of the signals that a man conveys through body language is the search for opportunities for physical contact. Casual touching, holding hands, or brushing hair away from the face can be a sign that a man desires the woman's intimacy. It's worth paying attention to how often he touches this particular woman, because it could be a coincidence.
What can gestures tell us?
Many years ago, scientists and famous scientific figures wrote in their works that by the movements of a person’s body one can understand the mood, as well as the semantic message of information, but the issue of body languages and gestures began to be studied much later. The first figure in this field was the American scientist and psychologist Paul Ekman, who in 1954 studied the language of facial expressions and gestures in people.
Open Gestures
If a person wants to know how sincere and open his opponent is in communication, psychology identifies special gestures of openness.
Namely:
- during a conversation, the opponent gestures and holds his hands with his palms up (if you look at children, when they have done something wrong, they tend to put their hands behind their backs or lower their palms down);
- during an open and honest conversation, the interlocutor will be close to the opponent, gradually reducing the distance between him and himself;
- during business negotiations, a good sign would be for opponents to unbutton their jacket buttons;
- Straightened legs indicate an honest and sincere conversation.
Expert opinion
Victor Brenz
Psychologist and self-development expert
Today, in many developed countries, knowledge of body and body language is a must for every recruiting manager. In this regard, the topic has become increasingly in demand in other countries, and the benefits of knowing a non-verbal language have been officially proven.
Closed gestures
Separately, psychology examines non-verbal closed gestures, which manifest themselves in the form of protection from the interlocutor due to hostility, negative attitude and hypocrisy. Closed gestures include the following manifestations:
- crossing your arms in the chest area, which demonstrates self-doubt and hostility towards your interlocutor;
- the interlocutor sits with his legs crossed, but not because of convenience and comfort, but because he is fencing himself off from an unpleasant opponent;
- “incomplete barrier”, when a person bends one arm at the elbow and presses it to the body, and straightens the other and places it on his knee, showing caution and mistrust in a non-verbal way.
Psychologists note that body language shapes your personality, so it is extremely important to monitor your body during negotiations or interviews, avoiding closed gestures. An experienced person will immediately recognize a negative attitude, self-doubt, anxiety or hostility towards himself, even if the person verbally behaves impeccably.
Erotic gestures
You can also understand the body language of a man or woman in love by non-verbal manifestations of the body and gestures. Psychologists say that women are more likely to have pronounced erotic gestures, but men are characterized by restraint and control over emotions. A woman’s body language suggests the following manifestations:
- display of the wrist, for example, while smoking, when a woman turns her hand outward, showing the inside of the wrist;
- touching hair, twirling curls or stroking them, throwing hair back;
- licking lips and slightly open mouth during conversation and even silence;
- taking off your shoes and swinging your leg, which attracts the attention of the opposite sex;
- direct eye-to-eye gaze, smile, during eye contact the eyes first drop down and then move to the side;
- stroking hands on knees, thighs, calves;
- crossing the ankles of the legs.
Such verbal methods of flirting and making advances, of course, are inherent in the female sex, since by their nature and temperament they are prone to playful communication and luring a partner. Men, in this regard, act directly and without hints, so a guy in love can be recognized by his actions.
False gestures
The most popular question is how to recognize a lie by non-verbal signs, since in modern society every second person does not shy away from lying for his own benefit. Psychologists say that most liars give themselves away with several gestures during this behavior, for example:
- hands involuntarily reach to the face, a person can cover his mouth, touch his lips, chin; while listening, the interlocutor covers his mouth due to mistrust;
- a pronounced gesture of lying - touching the nose;
- hiding the truth is manifested by scratching the upper eyelid;
- if a person does not agree with the opinion of his opponent, but is afraid to say it directly, he can scratch his neck;
- touching the earlobes indicates that the listener does not believe his interlocutor.
The most common and well-known sign of lying is turning the eyes to the side, fear of direct eye contact. In fact, scientists have proven that this is a false judgment; averting the eyes is a natural phenomenon; during memories, a person will avert his eyes to the left or up, and during fantasies and inventions - up or to the right.
Aggressive gestures
You can visually assess the mood of your interlocutor by his gestures and facial expressions, so psychologists separately consider gestures of aggression and hostility. For example:
- clenching hands into fists;
- throwing your arms to the side speaks of determination and a mood for action;
- sitting on a chair in a “riding” position is an indicator of a negative attitude towards the opponent;
- folding your hands behind your back.
Hiding signs and gestures of aggression and expressed hostility towards a certain person is actually very difficult, since these are strong emotions, the control of which requires long and hard training.
Nervous gestures
If a person feels insecure and irritable in communication, it will be extremely difficult to hide such a state. Most likely, nervousness will be manifested by the following gestures:
- teenagers start biting their nails;
- an adult can chew on a pen or pencil, bang them on the table, or tap their fingers;
- a shifting gaze is a consequence of anxiety;
- Frequent changes in body position and fussiness indicate irritability and nervousness.
Do you have a habit of chewing on your pen?
Not really
In this state, breathing quickens, the gaze cannot focus on one thing, and it will be quite difficult for a person to control his body.
Bored gestures
Some specific gestures will tell you how to understand body language in order to find out how interested your interlocutor is in the conversation. For example:
- during communication, the interlocutor puts his head in the palms of his hands;
- a boring conversation may be accompanied by tapping of feet on the floor;
- engaging in another activity, for example, drawing on a piece of paper, twirling a pen or other object in your hand, looking at your phone or watch, looking at your hands, and many others.
Thus, we can conclude that an uninteresting conversation will be accompanied by a lack of stable eye contact between opponents and extraneous actions.
Confidential gestures
It is extremely important for some people to recognize by gestures how much a particular person trusts them. Psychologists name several reliable gestures that indicate complete trust and emancipation of the interlocutor, namely:
- while listening to a speech, the interlocutor will periodically nod his head;
- manifestation of the “dome” gesture, that is, the elbows of the hands will stand on the table, and the hands will be joined in the fingers, forming, as it were, a dome (often this gesture shows a person’s complacency and selfishness);
- complete trust on the part of the interlocutor is his open palms.
Appreciative gestures
By some actions you can be sure that the interlocutor is not just observing the speaker, but also evaluating him. For example:
- while listening, a person rests his head on the palm of his hand, putting his index finger up;
- during a conversation, the listener takes off his glasses and touches his lips with the bow;
- Scratching the chin indicates that a person is thinking about the topic of conversation.
Also, while thinking through the topic of a conversation and assessing it, a person can pace from side to side, as if trying to make one decision for himself. Also, while assessing a conversation, he can pinch the bridge of his nose with his fingers, closing his eyes.
Male body language - facial expressions
A man's body language and his desires consist several percent of facial expressions. Men express strong emotions sparingly, but they are not able to hide everything.
When observing a man's body language, it is worth paying attention to how often he smiles and how he does it. Guys don't smile every day for no apparent reason, so it's worth paying attention to this type of facial expression. In addition, if he has at least a slight smile on his lips most of the time he talks to a woman, then he is probably interested in her. A man's body language thus conveys information that he has friendly intentions and that the other person is important to him.
Another sign of interest in a woman is slight changes in a man’s facial expressions. His body language indicates the appearance of his love interest with a slight, approximately 3-second raised eyebrow. This is a completely subconscious reaction aimed at opening the eyes in order to get a better look at the woman. Another subtle signal of interest in a particular person is a gentle fluttering or widening of the nostrils. Movement of the nostrils or ears can be a sign that a man is feeling tense in the presence of a woman. This can be a sign of both interest and fear.
How a woman should behave
Not everyone knows how to behave if a guy shows signs of sympathy. The main thing is to decide what you want. If you like a man, you can let him know that the feelings are mutual. Smile back, keep up the conversation, sometimes be weak and allow him to look after you.
Sometimes psychologists advise asking a man directly about his feelings. But still, you shouldn’t take this step if you have only recently met the guy. Firstly, the young man may be put off by assertiveness, and secondly, you could be mistaken. For example, accept signs of attention addressed to your friend. Get to know the person better so you can understand them correctly.
If you don't feel the same way, gently make it clear.
Gently move away from the guy’s touches, break long eye contact, and remain aloof in a friendly manner. He will understand everything, because not only women understand non-verbal gestures.
To read people like an open book and understand them better, be more attentive to nonverbal communication. With its help, you can not only find out whether a man likes you, but also send him a “return signal”. Remember the non-verbal gestures of a man towards the woman he likes and you will be fully armed.
PsychologyPRO
Male body language - arms and legs
A man's body language is much easier to read when you know the basic rules regarding subconscious body gestures. If a guy crosses his legs or crosses them at the ankles, he probably feels insecure or awkward in society. This is a position of protection from the world.
A man’s body can transmit similar signals using his hands. If a man crosses his arms across his chest and also leans back, he probably feels bad and wants to distance himself from the situation in which he finds himself. If, in turn, his hands are folded on a table or on his knees and extended towards the woman, this may mean that he is interested.
What matters is how a man shows his hands. If he reveals the inside of his wrist, he probably wants to tell the woman that he can be trusted and has no bad intentions. Showing the outer part of his hand throughout the conversation suggests that he may have something to hide.
Nonverbal signs of a man's sympathy for a woman
In addition to expressing feelings through words, a person shows his emotions or hidden desires through gestures. This manifestation cannot be hidden; it can be called the most sincere and truthful. This way of expressing a person’s internal state (non-verbal) consists of reproducing sensory signals using facial expressions or gestures. It is often impossible to control unconscious manifestations of feelings, so it will be useful to find out how you can “read” the nonverbal gestures of a man in love by studying his gestures.
The impulses of our subconscious are guided by nonverbal gestures, which absolutely accurately convey the emotional state and real experiences, in contrast to speeches, which, alas, can carry a double meaning. Gestures, postures, facial movements, eyes can convey everything that a young man really thinks, for this you just need to observe and a lot will become clearer to you. Next, we will introduce you in detail to these signs and what meaning they carry.
Psychologist's advice
Psychology will help you figure out whether a guy likes a girl or recognize hidden love if a man is silent:
- A man in love will conquer a woman, show her signs of attention: he will give her flowers, bring coffee, throw a warm jacket over his shoulders in the evening.
- He will catch your eye or, conversely, hide.
- Strives to close the distance, to touch the girl or her things.
- He will take you under his protection and guardianship. He will open the door, throw a fur coat over his shoulders, try to solve minor problems, and will not brush it off or come up with an excuse. This can be easily checked by asking a young man for help in a simple situation.
- He is often awkward and smiles or becomes embarrassed when a lady of his heart appears.
- Sometimes he behaves childishly stupid and frivolous.
- Tries to joke, demonstrates a cheerful character.
- He will find a way to find out the phone number of his chosen one, he will find it on social networks.
If a man shows himself this way, it means that the woman is sincerely interested in him.
Important! Knowing psychology and being able to think logically in order to understand feelings is great, but sometimes it is useful to listen to your heart.
It is not easy for lovers to hide their feelings. Even if they decide to remain silent, gestures and facial expressions will tell everything for them, which cannot be controlled 100%, like words and behavior. In addition, the look of a man in love and an indifferent one is difficult to confuse.
Bent like a bow. Stretch like a string3
A man who is interested in a woman will either bend his shoulders slightly to be ready to instantly begin moving towards the object, or, conversely, straighten them as much as possible to become taller and wider. Again: a demonstration of size and the desire to become much more noticeable among others. In addition, a straight back works like a fuse. It tightens your abs, tightens your stomach, and makes your chest more prominent and wider.
Are gestures an innate or acquired quality of a person?
Despite many studies conducted, there are still disagreements regarding which gestures are considered acquired and which are innate. There are gestures that are considered innate and which are inherent in people regardless of cultural differences. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they look angry. Nodding your head means “yes” almost everywhere in the world. It appears to be an innate gesture, as it is also used by deaf and dumb people. Shaking the head to indicate denial or disagreement is also universal and may be one of the gestures invented in childhood. When the child is full, he turns his head from side to side to avoid the spoon. Thus, he very quickly learns to use head shaking to express his disagreement or negative attitude.
On the innate and acquired gestures in infancy, cultural and national characteristics are subsequently layered and the smile of an adult may no longer be a natural, spontaneous reaction, but a culturally determined phenomenon. The meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined. Like any language, body language is made up of words, sentences and punctuation. Each gesture is like one word, and a word can have several different meanings. Therefore, to reliably read gestures, one must take into account the context in which they appear.
From head to toe
The first thing that shows a man's interest in a woman is his gaze. He drills his eyes, clings to the smallest details, lingering on them. In the most attractive places, the gaze becomes harder, the color of the iris darkens. The man does not look at individual parts of the body, and does not even try to hide the direction. It glides over the entire body from head to toe. At the same time, the woman may feel naked, because at this moment the man is simply undressing his victim.
The look is emotionally colored in such a way that the start of the hunt can be felt a mile away. And from the outside it is clearly visible that the woman is under close attention. It is almost impossible to make a mistake at this moment. The psychology of men is such that they strive to please one particular woman, but the whole group of girlfriends. He targets his lady and never lets go of her the entire time.
The position of the head is also characteristic. She leans forward and to the side slightly. The gaze becomes sullen, the posture is somewhat wary and even threatening. But as soon as the man threw back his head and showed his face open, it becomes clear that his choice is over.
“Hands on hips, shoulders wider”5
How does a male attract a female? That's right, a show of strength. It's the same with people. Of course, a man will not run to uproot trees and bend radiators, but he must show strength. Your arms, or rather your biceps, will come to the rescue. The man will put his hands in a position where the muscles will be as visible as possible. Either he will cross them over his chest or place them on his hips. But there is one more gesture: thumbs on the belt.
Then the hands are seductively positioned in the genital area, forcing the woman to look precisely at the fly area. This is also natural behavior. Pure instincts, and nothing more. But the character who has his hands behind his back is uninteresting. And here's why: hands behind your back in a lock, a signal that a person needs support, rear.
Most likely, the lady's problem is utter mischief. It's not worth getting involved with someone like that. Although, upon closer acquaintance, it may turn out that the person occupies a leadership position, and bosses have a habit of putting their hands behind their backs, which has nothing to do with nonverbalism.
Plumage demonstration4
This behavior is common to both men and women. And if preening is a natural process for women and no one pays attention to it, then for a man these manipulations are very noticeable.
These include such things as: tightening a tie, straightening a jacket or jumper, pulling a collar, smoothing hair, and not brushing aside bangs with the palm of your hand, this could be a habit, namely smoothing, shaking a watch bracelet, unbuttoning or vice versa fixing a jacket button. There may be many more such movements on the list, and all of them indicate a man’s interest in a woman.
Coordinates in space6
A man who has chosen a lady from the crowd will always occupy a certain position in space. During the tracking process, he will try to take the “Back – Wall” position. Then his interlocutors will calmly carry on the conversation, and he will observe. This way it’s more convenient for him to cover the entire space with his gaze and not spin around like a top if his lady suddenly decides to be behind him.
As a man draws conclusions about the attractiveness of an object, a sign that the choice fell on this woman will be constant approaching her. This gives the man a feeling of control, closeness and convenience of capturing the victim, and possessive instincts are triggered. In addition, he needs to expand his zone of influence as much as possible, because other males may also lay claim to the same lady, and if he is somewhere out of sight, then there is a risk of simply going unnoticed.
Why Nonverbal Signs Say More Than Words
Gestures and facial expressions are nonverbal signals. A person can perfectly control the words spoken, create the correct intonation and make a facial expression appropriate to the occasion. But it is very difficult to completely control your behavior, and some reactions, for example, dilation of the pupils, are completely impossible.
Many gestures are so “ingrained” into consciousness that they are carried out instantly in response to a specific stimulus.
American psychologist A. Meyerabian conducted a series of studies in which he found that a person receives only 7% of information from the meaning of words spoken by the interlocutor, 38% comes from intonation and timbre, and the remaining 55% is conveyed by the body.