Women and men are different: by their nature, by their perception of the world, by their life goals and priorities. And although at first glance the needs of a man and a woman in relationships and love are very similar, you probably guess that here too there are fundamental differences between us. Do you want to know which ones? Today I will help you get answers to questions that have probably repeatedly arisen in your head: “How to understand a man?”, “How to recognize a man’s attitude towards himself?”, “How to understand a man’s behavior?”
The psychology of male behavior does not depend on nationality, zodiac sign or place of residence. The way of thinking may be influenced by upbringing or the mentality of the country, but the natural needs of men are the same. Just like with women: she can be a businesswoman, hold a leadership position, but at the same time she wants to be loved. She has a natural need to be protected, to feel safe next to a man, to be surrounded by male care.
In this article I will tell you 5 golden truths that will help you understand a man. Having figured out how the male “mechanism” works, the psychology of relationships with a man will become a little easier for you.
Read to the end and you will find out:
- What is the difference between the characteristics of male and female psychology
- Is it right to treat a man the way you want him to treat you?
- Is it possible to change a man?
- Why does a man take advantage of a woman?
- The man doesn't want a relationship. What does he mean?
- What is the importance of a woman's word
I have prepared a detailed and thorough video for you, from which you will learn the whole truth about men. And you will begin to understand them a little better.
It sounds paradoxical, but men also want relationships, they want a family. I understand that some will now say: “What kind of nonsense are you talking about, Yaroslav? I dated a man and he bluntly said that he did not want a serious relationship.” In fact, for some reason he simply does not want a relationship with a specific woman, but he cannot voice this reason out loud. This does not mean that all men avoid relationships.
They want a relationship, they need it, they don’t feel complete without a relationship. Yes, a man experiences this not so anxiously. For example, there is a huge difference between the behavior and feelings of a 35-year-old woman and a 35-year-old man who is not in a relationship! This is easy to explain from the point of view of natural functions: a woman gives birth to children, she has this subconscious need. And the older she gets, the more difficult it is to achieve this. There are medical contraindications that can complicate the process.
You may think: “Here is a man, he is 40 years old, successful, rich, he has many fans. If he wanted a relationship, he would have gotten married a long time ago!” It’s not a fact that if he’s not in a relationship, he doesn’t want it.
Believe me, I communicate with many men, successful and unsuccessful. And if you think that such men go, “I’m handsome, I’m cool, why do I need a relationship at all?”, you’re wrong. They also cry and worry, they just don’t show it as clearly as women.
Let me give you one more argument: every day in your city, country, world, so many weddings take place! What, women marry each other? If men didn't have relationship needs, they wouldn't waste time, wouldn't go on dates, wouldn't get married, wouldn't raise children. They would simply satisfy their need for sex, use the services of women of the appropriate profession, and would not waste their time and energy on dating.
How can you tell if a man is in love?
If you want to hear that you are loved, they will tell you so. But this does not mean that the partner experiences real feelings. There are signs that help you understand whether a man is in love or just imitating feelings.
Gesticulation
Carefully watch the movements of your chosen one's hands and eyes and you will determine how sincere he is when talking about falling in love.
A man in love is tense in your presence. He worries all the time and doesn’t seem to know where to put his hands. He either hides them in his pockets or unconsciously twirls some little thing in them.
This behavior does not yet indicate great love, but the feeling of being slightly in love is certainly present.
Sight
It’s easy to tell by the eyes whether a man has interest or sympathy. How to determine if you are in love by the look of a man:
- he looks intently into the eyes, as if trying to understand something;
- catches your eye all the time;
- sometimes, if you catch his gaze, he abruptly turns his eyes to the side.
This behavior indicates a strong interest in the woman. It allows you to take a reciprocal step - let him know that you appreciate his attention, and you have nothing against meeting him.
Details
A man in love is very attentive to all the details related to the woman he loves. He remembers her words, desires, every little thing that concerns her is important to him.
He clearly remembers everything that he managed to learn about the object of his love - favorite music, what kind of coffee she prefers, what flowers she likes, etc.
Compliments
Men give compliments easily and naturally. To distribute them left and right, they do not necessarily have to experience high feelings. To distinguish a banal desire to have an affair from sincere feelings, pay attention - it is important how exactly compliments are delivered to you.
A man in love, uttering phrases praising your appearance, wit or other qualities, is sure to try to touch you. One of the sure signs of a man falling in love is an irresistible desire to touch a girl and look into her eyes.
Care
Falling in love inspires a man to do chivalrous deeds. He is always on the alert - just waiting to help with something and show concern. He is concerned with any, even the smallest problem that worries the object of his love.
A person in love is ready to rush to the ends of the world at your first call. He will get it, bring it, find it, protect it, decide - the list of verbs can be continued indefinitely. All he needs at this stage is your smile and happy eyes.
Nuances of communication
Take a close look at the communication style of the man whose attitude interests you. Falling in love is indicated by sudden pauses in conversation and slurred speech. He often feels awkward and blushes - such signs indicate sincere interest.
Behavior
A man in a state of love at first tries to carefully hide his true feelings. He is afraid of becoming vulnerable, of hearing ridicule or refusal to communicate. He really values the opportunity to be around, so he gets excited.
Behavioral signs:
- tension and excitement;
- facial flushing, embarrassment, nervous gestures;
- speaks quickly, indistinctly, and there is often tremors in his voice.
Flirting
Confident men, when they see an interesting woman, never refuse open flirtation. Don’t take this as a “naked pickup”, because a person may have no other way to meet you.
If you often meet in some places (gym, swimming pool, office, etc.), then a man can find an extraordinary method of meeting each other. In other cases, flirting is a completely justified way to start a relationship and an eloquent indicator of interest.
Finding reasons to meet
A person in love always finds a reason to see you. Someone who only uses you, meets you whenever it is convenient/wants for him, always finds reasons that “prevent” him from meeting you. A person interested in you, on the contrary, is looking for any way to see each other.
A man who is in love always offers ideas for spending time together. If he has a hobby, he tries to introduce you to it, because he wants to share with you the best that he has.
Trying to get better
Men in love seem inspired. Some want to write poems in honor of their beloved, others strive to become better. They do this not for the sake of praise, but out of special love inspiration and the desire to be worthy of their chosen one. Many men, having fallen in love, easily quit smoking or drinking alcohol.
The passion for wine and tobacco fades against the background of the feelings experienced by a man in love, so he can refuse temptations without any problems. A man feels endless gratitude to the lady of his heart for the fact that meeting her allowed him to triumph over his weaknesses.
The desire to become better is manifested in everything a man is in love with:
- he chooses his clothes carefully;
- tries to cut his hair in a new, more fashionable way;
- uses good perfumes;
- tries to speak and write correctly;
- devotes time to his own development - learns something, achieves success.
All changes occur in order to attract the attention of your beloved. A man wants to prove to himself and to her that he is worth being with the best woman in the world.
Talks about his life
This is one of the surest signs of falling in love. A man who does not experience deep feelings never shares the details of his life. The stronger sex is laconic by nature; they are not inclined to discuss their feelings with anyone or turn over the pages of their life path.
Having fallen in love, a man wants to be as close as possible to his chosen one, and not only physically. He strives to establish close emotional contact, to share his thoughts, feelings and details of his life. It seems to a man that the chosen one, knowing all his secrets, seems to become a part of him.
Attachments
A man is ready to invest anything, any resources, into the object of his love. We are talking not only about finances and material benefits, but also about such things as moral support, free time, and physical assistance.
Men often behave as consumers, but when they fall in love, they are capable of the best human feelings and actions. By showing care - moral and financial - they show a real attitude towards a woman. Many men tend to carefully hide their emotions and prefer actions to words.
Features of correspondence
If you are dating a young man, but continue to correspond, you can use it to find out about his true feelings. To do this, analyze the phrases written by him.
How and what a man writes if he is in love:
- Tries to write correctly. Places commas, does not distort words. Actively uses exclamation marks and emoticons. He is not lazy to write a lot, and does not get away with monosyllabic phrases.
- Suddenly he writes that he misses you or is thinking about you. A man sends such messages when he is overwhelmed by feelings. There is no way out for them, and the only thing he can do is write to you. Remember that anyone can lead a dance, but a man does it more beautifully, so give him the opportunity to take the initiative, and don’t force things, don’t immediately rush into the “pool of feelings.”
- Writes sentimental phrases. For example: “Today I heard music that reminded me of our meeting.” A man in love does not hesitate to bare his soul. As the relationship develops, he will amaze you with revelations more than once.
- The first one offers to meet. Invents reasons for a meeting that might interest you. He never comes up with excuses to turn down the opportunity to see you.
- Always answers your calls and messages. Be sure to apologize if he could not answer immediately (didn’t see, didn’t have access).
Manifestation of jealousy
Jealousy does not always indicate the presence of love, but if it is absent, then there is no need to even talk about falling in love.
A man in love closely watches the object of his worship. He does not believe that he has the right to dictate his will to a girl, but he is very sensitive to any situations related to her attitude towards other men.
A man in love does everything to protect you from his rivals. He tries to fill your attention.
Do not expect reproaches or classic manifestations of jealousy from such a man. At the stage of falling in love, you will notice it only by the eyes or the change in mood.
Behavior with other women
If you want to test a man's feelings, watch the way he communicates with other girls. This method is universal, as it is equally informative at any stage of the relationship.
If you are just starting to communicate with the person you like and want to understand how much he is in love with you, keep in mind:
- with other girls, a man in love behaves without tension - he is open, cheerful, mocking;
- with you he is timid, worried, ponders his words.
Nonverbal signs
It is easy to guess that a man is in love by non-verbal signs. These are unconscious body movements that reveal a person’s thoughts and desires.
The most common signs:
- seeing the object of sympathy, the young man draws in his stomach and straightens his back, spreads his legs wide, and folds his arms on his chest;
- tries to touch - offers his hand, holds him by the waist, accidentally touches him;
- raises one eyebrow;
- puts his hands in his pockets or behind his belt.
Recommendations
Listen to my following rules:
- Listen carefully to your companion, share his interests.
- Smile more often, laugh at his jokes.
- Don't forget to give compliments.
- Don't be intrusive, control your emotions and try to be grateful.
- Love yourself, take care of your appearance and be diverse.
- Keep quarrels to a minimum, support your partner and do not focus on mistakes.
Showing love at different ages
Adult men, when they fall in love, behave completely differently from young guys. They know how to express their feelings in everyday, everyday settings. To do this, they do not need to wait for special intimacy. A mature gentleman protects, helps and surprises.
Young people mostly focus on romance. They are more emotional, they try to show their best side, how strong, dexterous they are, etc. Adult men are more restrained; the experience of relationships makes them be careful. They don't want to start a serious relationship without checking their feelings.
Adviсe
There is an opinion that a man treats a woman as she allows him to do so. But when examining the details, it turns out that this is wrong. You can't change guys radically, but the little things are worth a try. This should be done in the initial stages, when the chosen one is at the stage of falling in love and is ready to please his companion in every possible way.
If the girl comes to her senses later, she will have to come to terms with her shortcomings and accept her lover as he is. However, in most cases, the actions of partners depend on upbringing and character. For example, if a wife asks her husband to take out the trash, he may answer that in his family the father did not do this.
How to determine if a man is in love depending on his zodiac sign?
The zodiac sign not only affects a person’s character, but also his behavior during the period of falling in love. Knowing the man’s date of birth, compare his actions with the signs characteristic of his zodiac sign.
How men in love behave depending on their zodiac sign:
- Aries. Not prone to long courtships. They quickly open up about their feelings. Having received a refusal, they go in search of another object. If he is reciprocated, he is able to give a woman real care and attention.
- Taurus. They have a calm character, but when they fall in love, they change radically. They become nervous, actively gesticulate, and take initiative. They try to have a flawless appearance.
- Twins. These are generous fans who shower their beloved with gifts. Emotional, show concern for the object of attention.
- Cancers. Persistent, almost obsessive. They write messages, call, meet and see off. They are persistent and often make pleasant surprises.
- Lions. They strive to please a woman, but are in no hurry to admit their feelings. Capable of fulfilling any whim.
- Virgos. Shy and even a little withdrawn. They look passionately, but can be rude. They think long before declaring their love.
- Scales. They try to spend as much time as possible with the girl they like. They are in no hurry to develop relationships. First they go for friendship to test their feelings.
- Scorpios. They are stingy, but when they fall in love, they show unprecedented generosity. They easily find a reason to meet.
- Sagittarius. They strive for spiritual intimacy. They love to give gifts and try to occupy an important place in a girl’s life.
- Capricorns. They act uncertainly. When inviting the object of their sympathy on a date, they behave withdrawn and speak little. Over time, they become bolder, and their feelings gradually grow stronger.
- Aquarius. Very jealous. They are capable of losing their temper when they see the woman they love talking to another man. Ready to do anything for the sake of love.
- Fish. Romantics, prone to eccentricity. They are the ones who give hundreds of flowers, sing songs, write poems, and make original surprises.
Association by company
The herd instinct is determined at a subconscious level. Basic principles of group distribution:
- Age interests. They have a lot to talk about, given the temporal and cultural connections.
- General hobby. This includes fishing, cars, hunting and sports.
- Uniting against the enemy. Here there is intolerance towards a certain course of life with an increased sense of justice.
The girl may not be happy with the fact that her lover is away for a long time. You can come to terms with this by doing business in his absence. Or try to infiltrate the team.
How can you tell that a man is in love and not just infatuated?
In order not to become a victim of ordinary intrigue, it is important to understand the feelings of a man. If instead of falling in love he experiences only physical attraction, be careful. Perhaps a person will fall in love with you, but chances are high that you will become just another trophy for him.
Signs to distinguish between falling in love and infatuation:
- A man who has a sporting interest in you will not change his appearance for your sake. The stronger sex is generally lazy in this regard; they are conservative in clothing and style. It is falling in love that makes them change.
- If you simply attract a person's attention, he will not catch your furtive glance and will not be embarrassed. On the contrary, the “hunter” looks into your eyes without hesitation.
- Sexual attraction alone is not enough to show concern. If a person is not interested in your problems, does not offer help, he does not have serious feelings for you.
- A man who views you as just another hobby is always busy - he is always in a hurry somewhere, he has no time to talk. He is interested in a certain aspect of the relationship, everything else - your interests, worries, joys - is not interesting to him. He is not prone to long conversations.
- Men in love do not insist on sex. For them, a woman is an object of worship, to whom they go, conquering and performing feats. A man in love needs your feelings, ideally love, not sex.
Aspects of the male psyche
You can draw conclusions from the man’s conversation. If “we” comes up more and more often instead of “I,” then this is a clear sign of falling in love. The amount of time devoted to a woman also matters. The longer it is, the deeper his feelings. When he prefers to stay late at a bar with friends, go fishing or do meaningless things, instead of paying attention to a girl, you should be wary. This shows disinterest.
In this case, most ladies make a big mistake: they try to remind themselves by calling and writing to their lover. This will push him away even more.
How to check a man's feelings?
Men are not inclined to reveal their true feelings and goals. If they tell you about love, there is a high probability that it is a lie or at least an exaggeration. Conversely, a person who carefully hides his feelings may be desperately in love with you. Checking helps to dot the “e”.
Direct question
Challenge the man with a direct question. Ask directly: “Aren’t you in love with me for an hour?” He will have to answer, and you will have to watch the reaction. A person in love will probably be embarrassed, and it doesn’t matter what he answers - it’s important to record his behavior.
A man who is not in love behaves calmly. Out of delicacy, he will either be embarrassed to admit his lack of feelings and answer vaguely and ambiguously, or he will say something like: “Why not?”
Canceling a date
For a man in love, canceling a date is the most offensive and painful event. His reaction is always bright and violent. He expresses not indignation, but genuine frustration. A person who does not experience serious feelings calmly endures the date or expresses dissatisfaction.
The main thing is that your refusal to date is believable. If a young man understands that you are just playing with him, testing him, you will significantly lose in his eyes.
Make it clear that you have problems
Come up with a serious problem that is difficult to solve and share it with the young man. A man in love will immediately come up with a dozen ways to solve it. Then he will offer his help and will be interested in this issue for a long time.
A man who is not in love does not show any zeal. Moreover, if you ask him to help, he will not be able to hide his displeasure and annoyance. If there is no love, there are no common problems.
Behavior in disputes
This is one of the most productive and masterful ways of identifying feelings. The main thing is that it is difficult to suspect you of premeditated actions. The essence of the test is to start an argument with friends. You must defend a point of view opposite to that held by the subject.
A man in love, whatever his opinion, always takes the side of his beloved woman and supports her in an argument. If there are no feelings, a person behaves naturally - he defends his point of view.
Jealousy
Try paying attention to another young man and watch the reaction of the object of interest to you. If the latter has serious feelings for you, he will be sincerely upset. Otherwise, you will see annoyance, anger, contempt or disappointment on the man’s face.
A person in love experiences in such situations not so much a wounding of his ego as pain and bitterness of regret. These feelings are reflected on his face. Do not delay the experiment, your task is only to determine the reaction.
Meeting friends
If you don't rely on your intuition, let your friends look at the object of your research. Introduce a young man to them, let them look at him from the outside. It is no secret that from this position true feelings are always visible better.
To assess a man's attitude towards you, introduce him to your friends, but do not count on the objectivity of your parents and girlfriends. Choose representatives of the stronger sex.
There are a huge number of ways to test a man for the sincerity of his feelings. But don't get carried away with them. Wait a little and everything will fall into place. True feelings will definitely manifest themselves, and you won’t have to arrange tests.
Behavior towards girls
If you know the basic features, you can significantly reduce the number of conflicts. One of them is silence when a quarrel is brewing. Many girls regard this as insult or anger. But at this time the partner is simply thinking about a plan of action.
But this applies not only to conflict situations. The difference between a man and a woman is that the former have the ability to act, while the latter have the ability to feel. Therefore, the stronger sex does not always perceive our feelings and emotions. In addition, they are distinguished by their straightforwardness, which is why they do not understand the most obvious hints. Therefore, you should not make an offended face or change the intonation in your voice in order to convey your indignation to your companion. It is better to express the insult in words. Another feature of male psychology is the “hunter” instinct. They need to conquer, go to the goal and achieve it.
Psychologist Daria Milai
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