In this article we will tell you:
- 10 Problems That Cause Couples to Fight
- 5 reasons why relationships fail
- 12 tips on how to improve your relationship with a guy
- 5 tips for maintaining a long-distance relationship with a guy
From TV screens or the pages of books, we learn about ideal relationships and dream of the same ones, feeling a sense of envy for the heroines who drew a lucky ticket and met the prince who turned their life into a fairy tale. But no movie or story depicts a 100% perfect relationship. Even the strongest couples are tested for strength. The law of the genre. Just like in life.
When we quarrel with our loved ones, the ground seems to disappear from under our feet. We experience anxiety, uncertainty about ourselves and our future together, and we come up with the darkest options for how the situation will develop. Subconsciously, all people strive for peaceful coexistence. Few people like quarrels, because they are very exhausting. If you value communication, it is important for you to know how to improve a relationship with a guy that can deteriorate for various reasons.
Discuss all problems
If you are not happy with something, be sure to discuss it. No one will fix your relationship for you. The main thing to maintain trust is absolute honesty and openness of both partners.
- Share your doubts and fears, especially those that you don't tell anyone else about. This will help not only heal some mental wounds, but also better understand your partner.
- Keep your promises. The only way to restore trust is to keep your word.
- Learn to distinguish between your partner’s suspicious behavior and your own complexes. Usually during quarrels, one person thinks that his behavior is completely normal, while the other seems the same thing to be categorically wrong.
Trust is somewhat like a porcelain plate. If it falls and breaks, then with great difficulty it can still be glued back together. If you break it a second time, there will be twice as many fragments, and it will also take more time and effort to put them back together. But if you drop the plate over and over again, eventually it will break into such small pieces that it will no longer be possible to glue them together.
Respect each other
This is the main thing in a relationship. Not attraction, not common goals, not religion, not even love. There will be times when you start to feel like you don't love each other anymore. But if you lose respect for your partner, you won’t be able to get it back.
Communication, no matter how open and frequent it may be, will eventually reach a dead end in any case. Conflicts and grievances cannot be avoided.
The only thing that will save your relationship is unwavering respect. Without this, you will always doubt each other's intentions, judge your partner's choices and try to limit his independence.
In addition, you also need to respect yourself. Without self-respect, you won't feel like you deserve your partner's respect. You will constantly try to prove that you are worthy, and as a result you will only harm your relationship.
- Never complain about your partner to your friends. If you are unhappy with something in his behavior, discuss it with him, not with friends and relatives.
- Respect that your partner may have interests, hobbies, and views that are different from yours.
- Consider the opinion of your other half. Don't forget, you are one team. If someone alone is dissatisfied, then we need to look for a solution to the problem together.
- Don't keep everything to yourself, discuss any problems. You should not have taboo topics of conversation.
Respect is directly related to trust. And trust is the basis of any relationship (not just romantic ones). Without it, a feeling of closeness and peace cannot arise.
Create unifying traditions
Psychologists say that any love relationship must have some clues that will help hold it together. Unifying traditions can become such “hooks”. Each couple can form them for themselves independently. For example, most young people choose some secret places that no one else knows about except them. It will be quite romantic to hide in such a place from the whole world and the people around you. Nothing unites people more than small shared secrets, celebrating the first kiss, the anniversary of a meeting, the first intimacy. This all maintains pleasant memories and strengthens relationships.
Remember the little things.
Remember the very beginning of your relationship, you looked after your girlfriend, gave her flowers, gave her compliments. Then the need for all this disappeared. Everyday moments got stuck up.
It is very important, after a certain time, to pay attention to little things and try to please your girlfriend. For example, you can invite her on a date, go to the cinema or have dinner at a restaurant together. It is also important to try to spend as much time together as possible on weekends. But not lying on the couch, but going somewhere together and being active.
It is these simple tricks that can save and restore relationships, no matter how long you have been together.
You also need to pay due attention to sex. Sexual intimacy several times a week not only promotes harmony in relationships, but also improves physical condition.
Know how to forgive mistakes
It should be remembered that all people are capable of committing some rash actions. As they say, even the gods make mistakes. Absolutely anyone can stumble in this life, so it is right not only to be able to forgive, but also to give your chosen one a chance to improve. Don't consider yourself a saint. If you are absolutely sinless, then your place is in heaven, and not in our mortal life. Even God forgives mistakes. Don't put yourself above him. The sages say that the bad is needed in order to appreciate the good more.
Of course, there are different types of mistakes. Before you give a guy who has stumbled a chance, give yourself an honest answer about whether you love him and whether you need him. If yes, then don't break the thread that binds you. If your heart is at a loss to answer, it is better to let the guy out of your life.
Don't try to control each other
We often hear that relationships require sacrifice. There is some truth in this: sometimes you really have to give up something. But if both partners constantly sacrifice themselves, they are unlikely to be happy. Such a relationship will only harm both of them in the end.
Each person should be an independent person with his own views and interests.
Trying to control your partner to make him happy (or allowing him to control your own actions) will not achieve anything good.
Some are afraid to give their partner freedom and independence. This may be due to a lack of trust or self-doubt. The less we value ourselves, the more we will try to control our partner’s behavior.
Be prepared for both of you to change
Over time, you and your partner will change - this is completely natural. Therefore, it is important to always be aware of the changes taking place and treat them with respect.
If you plan to spend several decades together, you need to be prepared for difficulties and unforeseen situations.
Significant changes that many couples face include changes in religion or political views, moving to another country, or the death of relatives (including children).
When you start dating, all you know is what that person is like now. You have no way of knowing what it will be like in five or 10 years. Therefore, you need to be prepared for the unexpected. Of course it's not easy. But the ability to quarrel correctly can help here.
Learn to quarrel
Psychologist John Gottman has identified four behavioral signs that indicate a possible breakdown in a relationship:
- Criticism of character (“You’re stupid” instead of “You acted stupidly”).
- Shifting the blame.
- Insults.
- Avoiding a quarrel and ignoring your partner.
Therefore, it is worth learning to quarrel correctly:
- Do not remember previous scandals during one quarrel. This will not solve anything, but will only make the situation worse.
- If the argument gets heated, stop. Go outside and walk a little. Return to the conversation only when you have cooled down.
- Remember, someone being right in an argument is not as important as feeling that you were listened to with respect.
- Don't try to avoid quarrels. Express your concerns and admit what worries you.
Don't compare your relationships to stories from books and movies
Stop trying to repeat the love story from your favorite movie, book, and especially fairy tales. You are not Cinderella and the Prince, not Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet (or Bridget Jones), not Tony Stark and Pepper Potts, your relationship is developing differently, and that's okay.
And then, before plunging into the vanilla abyss called “happily ever after,” the characters go through a series of difficulties, because conflict is the engine of the plot. Create your own “happily ever after” without serial wisdom and without regard to the fantasies of screenwriters and writers.
Avoid controversial issues
Smart and wise ladies try to avoid all controversial issues. If you and your boyfriend have significant differences in your outlook on life, you need to accept his priorities or look for another gentleman. You can maintain a relationship with this, but in this case there is no need to sharpen the questions and find out which of you is more mistaken.
If you want to maintain a relationship with your loved one, you should not provoke quarrels or constantly make comments to the young man, pointing out his shortcomings. You love him, right? Then accept him as he is. Of course, if your only one has bad habits, you can’t put up with it. But you won’t be able to achieve your goal using a “frontal attack.” At best, you will create painful lumps in your soul, and at worst, you will kill all the good that exists between you and your chosen one.
Keep in touch
A sure sign of an imminent separation is the cessation of confidential conversations and communication. For her boyfriend, a girl should not only be an interesting person, but also a good friend. Therefore, try to become the person with whom your chosen one will talk about literally everything: cars, movies, music, parents, friends. Freedom in communication is the main thing that can unite and force you to show interest in your other half.
