Mistress... There is so much suffering, pain, resentment, humiliation, insult, shock in this word! Her appearance in the family is a real blow to the spouse’s self-esteem, from which not every woman can recover. Whether it makes sense to fight for a family is a rather personal question, depending on many factors. But there are times when the husband realizes his mistake and sincerely wants to save the marriage. What should a wife do? To return love to her family nest, she needs to gain wisdom...
Reasons for a husband's affection for his mistress
If a man goes “left” this does not mean that he has problems at home. Family life can be cloudless and stable.
Reasons why husbands take mistresses and then become attached to them:
- Lack of novelty in intimate life with my wife.
This is the most common reason why men are attracted to other females. Family routine, everyday life, children, etc. kill the sexual desire of partners.
Marital duty is no longer as passionate as it once was. With a mistress, every meeting is a storm of emotions, adrenaline due to the fact that a man crosses the boundaries of prohibition and decency.
A mistress can fill a man’s life with new colors in an intimate way
- Love.
Sometimes this happens when sex attracts, but a married man is held back by love for another woman. This happens when there are constant conflicts in family life, the wife has ceased to be affectionate, always puts the child, career, girlfriends, etc. first.
- Seeking support and understanding.
Even the most dazzling beauties are cheated on. Here it's not about appearance at all, but about being on the same wavelength as a man.
The mistress knows how to be submissive, listen carefully to stories about work, colleagues and his wife, who has lost her former attractiveness while on maternity leave.
She will never say a word differently, she will definitely praise you and take the side of the man with whom she had an affair. At least until she starts insisting on a divorce in order to become a legal spouse.
- To maintain a “macho” image.
It's no secret that having a sexy lover, a man increases his self-esteem. The most important thing is that the passion should be spectacular, so that it would not be embarrassing to take it to a social event and show off to the big business bigwigs.
This position is usually occupied by successful men, for whom career and status are above all else.
Many men are supposed to have a mistress “by status”
- Compensation for disrespectful attitude on the part of the wife.
If the wife is cold and rude to her husband or earns more than him. To compensate for his ego, a man will begin to look for a mistress not so much for love pleasures, but in order to take a leading position in the relationship.
There are situations when men have an affair with their boss at work, only in order to get a promotion. There is no place for attachment, but only material gain. Moreover, this is also treason, despite the desired result.
How to help your husband forget his mistress
A woman who truly loves experiences extreme stress when she learns about her husband’s betrayal. At the same time, if the family has decided to work through difficult times together, it is necessary to help the husband forget about his mistress.
Of course, you can go to a specialist for advice. Psychology will help determine both the causes and consequences of a man going “to the left” of his beloved.
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How best to take revenge on an unfaithful husband for cheating: advice from a psychologist
A visit to a psychologist will help improve the previous relationship between spouses
The wife, first of all, needs to try to accept the fact that the betrayal has already occurred. After this, put your emotions in order and calm down. After all, decisions made in anger are usually the most wrong and lead to negative consequences in the future.
Next, you need to make sure that there really was treason. After all, cases often occur when acquaintances saw a man with a colleague, or “kind” friends helped to fantasize about the woman’s fears. How to stop thinking about your husband's mistress? To begin with, it is worth resolving the issue so that it is the man who forgets about her.
How to help your husband forget his mistress, the psychologist’s advice would be:
- First, you need to sit down and discuss in calm tones what made him commit treason. Try to understand the problem that has arisen in the family. This is the only way to help both the husband and the wife who have experienced betrayal on his part.
- You should never mention betrayal within the walls of your home, name your mistress, reproach, etc. Hysterics are not a way out of this situation.
- From now on, in order not to separate, the wife must forget about the word jealousy. This is not easy, but you must develop trust in your husband, otherwise there is no point in saving the family.
- Sexual life must be present without fail. Especially if this was the reason for the betrayal. A woman should start taking care of herself, change her image, buy erotic lingerie. The fact that you have a headache, even if it’s not today, must be forgotten forever. In a word - switch all his attention to his wife, by any possible means.
- It wouldn’t hurt to surprise your husband with culinary delights. It is no longer news that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
- The wife must transfer some of the responsibilities regarding children and family affairs to her husband. Then he will be involved in everything that concerns his family, and accordingly think more about coziness and comfort within the walls of the house.
Not all women are able to show wisdom, forgive betrayal and return their husband to the family mainstream. The reason for this is a woman’s hurt pride and resentment towards both her husband and her rival.
If deep down there is no desire to forgive, there is no point in making efforts to restore the relationship.
There is an opinion that all means are good in the fight against a mistress.
Step-by-step action plan if a husband leaves his wife for another
Do you want to know all the ways to quickly get your loved one back after a breakup? We recommend reading Alexey Chernozem’s free book “How to Get Your Loved One Back.” You'll get a step-by-step plan on how to make him want to come back again.
The book is free. To download, go to this page, leave your e-mail and you will receive an email with a link to the pdf file.
The first thing to do is wait until the negative emotions subside (about 3 months). During this period, it is better not to communicate with your ex-spouse at all, so as not to rashly say too much. Have fun, do your hobby. Get a new hairstyle, change your style. And only after that start trying to get your ex-spouse back. Even if he said that he no longer loves you, this may not be true, his competitor just sang in his ears.
Your task is to turn him away from his mistress, ask him to help with chores around the house: nail a nail, fix something. You must cause a quarrel between them and then give him your understanding, warmth, affection. We have prepared simple and effective instructions on how to get your ex-husband back after divorce. There you will find some behavior tips and prayers.
To get back together with your betrothed, you need to bring passion back into the relationship. Here it is written how to do this in 10 steps and what mistakes are unacceptable.
Check out methods to prevent male infidelity. You will find out which woman a guy will not want to walk to the left with and what should be done for this.
Methods of fighting an opponent
As they say, “in war, all methods are good.” So a wife should learn to stand up for her man. So that the husband does not think about how to stop loving his mistress, he must try to take the solution to the problem in fragile female hands.
To fight a rival, you need to know a little more about her than just the fact that she satisfies a man’s needs. This “reconnaissance” will be helped by friends, social networks and possible reservations from the husband. Having identified its strengths and weaknesses, you can begin the attack.
You should not openly demonstrate aggression towards your mistress. This can alienate the wife, while bringing the husband closer to his mistress.
A woman should be a little more cunning and agile than a passion who thinks she has caught a goldfish in the form of someone else’s spouse.
A man's interest may subside if he accidentally mentions his mistress's previous men. The tactic will be effective if the husband thinks that the wife does not know about the betrayal. A woman must show her skills in those areas in which her opponent is weak.
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You can also try the method of open conversation with your lover. The wife should talk to her about how she is “another toy” in the hands of her husband. Also indicate common property, children, difficulties of the divorce process, etc. As a rule, third parties in a couple do not like to strain themselves, but rather value ease, without everyday problems. Therefore, the mistress can give up her position and go in search of a new victim of her loving nature.
Sometimes an open conversation with your wife helps to discourage your mistress
Possible interference and difficulties
To prevent your husband from forgetting about his passion may be his unwillingness to do so. And then random calls and messages from your mistress will only cause delight. Thus, male interest will only be fueled from time to time. This will become the main problem in that I cannot forget my mistress.
The situation is also aggravated when the beloved husband and his mistress work together. Constant meetings at work will contribute to the resumption of a romantic relationship between them. In this case, the man will continue to communicate, since this is a necessary measure regarding the performance of work duties.
Don't underestimate your opponent. If the mistress is pregnant or has given birth to a child for a man, he is unlikely to forget about her forever. Meetings with the homewrecker will continue.
Prohibited behavior
Do husbands return from their mistresses? This happens much more often than it seems, especially if the legal spouse sincerely wants it. How a woman who longs for the return of her beloved should not behave:
- file for divorce immediately;
- cry and throw tantrums;
- sort things out with your lover over the phone or in person;
- remain alone with depressing thoughts;
- spread gossip and complain to everyone around about your grief.
The tactics of a woman who wants her husband to return from his mistress to his family are completely different. How to act correctly?
Common female mistakes
We must not forget that in the husband’s infidelity, there is partial, and possibly complete, fault of the wife. The most common mistakes on the part of women are:
- You don't have to stop taking care of your appearance.
- Sexual pleasures should be passionate and varied.
- A wife who sits at home with the children is boring. Therefore, you should not waste time, but immediately find a hobby, stop doing only everyday life.
- You should definitely take an interest in your spouse’s life, his preferences, and go to meetings with mutual friends and his colleagues.
- By telling her husband about the presence of jealousy or suspicion, the wife, without realizing it, pushes him to cheat.
Which lover is difficult to keep and forget? The one who pretends to be independent and easily attracts the attention of the opposite sex. Sometimes a wife should get used to the image of her rival, showing her femininity, sexuality and self-sufficiency.
A wife should spend more time with her husband and have common interests.
Why do people lie
Many wives make the mistake of thinking that this other woman is younger, prettier and sexier. This rarely happens. The truth is, husbands cheat because they lack something inside. In fact, it has very little to do with you—and usually even less to do with her.
At some point in time, the lover was somehow able to evoke the emotions he was looking for. Often the rival makes him feel valuable, alive, attractive, and shows herself to be brilliant, mysterious and irresistible. But this may take a long time.
It is rare that a relationship between a man and his mistress turns into a long-term one; in the vast majority of cases, this woman is just a bump in the road, annoying and destructive, but short-lived.
Recommendations from psychologists
Psychologists recommend excluding emotions and thinking only with a “cool” head in the current situation. Forgetting about your mistress is not as easy as it might seem at first glance; neither conspiracy nor hysterics will help here. Only frank conversations, analysis of problems, without any reticence.
You should not openly tell your husband that you have become aware of another woman. Moreover, the wife should not throw mud at her. We must learn to be wise and restrained. At the same time, become better than her, more interesting, more attractive. Moreover, the legal spouse always has a moral advantage.
If you detect repeated infidelity or the presence of children on the side, it would be best to make an appointment with a specialist, since such cases are the most complex.
Sometimes an established life and family comfort do not stop a man from cheating. Having learned about her mistress, the wife must make efforts not only to discourage her husband from his rival, but also to ensure that he forgets about her.
