Relationships are always a rather difficult issue that people work on throughout their lives. And very often the relationship comes to an end. The process of separation is not easy to go through. It is especially difficult for girls who decide to tell their boyfriend about their decision in writing.
Plan for a farewell message to a once loved one
The letter should not be too long; write no more than one A4 page. You need to start with the main thing that you have decided to end the relationship, spend the middle of the letter explaining your motives, and end the letter with what you would like to see your relationship in the future.
In other words, do you see the man next to you as a friend, buddy, or do you prefer to cut him out of your life for certain reasons. Don’t try to write ornately, don’t use a lot of metaphors and comparisons, they will only obscure the meaning of the message.
Which is better, poetry or prose?
Before you begin writing, you need to determine what form your letter will take. There are several of them, some prefer short notes, and some approach this matter extremely responsibly and prefer to put farewell words in prose or poetry.
Farewell in the form of poetry is suitable for those who want to end their relationship beautifully. This will require effort; not all men love poetry, and some of them may not be able to understand the true meaning of the message. Words dressed in metaphors and epithets can confuse a guy, and he will not understand what you wanted to say with your message. If your choice falls on a poem, carefully consider its content. It should reflect everything you want to say: the reason for the breakup, your expectations from your lover, your wishes for his future life.
It is much easier to write a farewell letter to your loved one in the form of prose. In it you will be able to express your thoughts as beautifully as in a poem, but you will not rack your brains over the rhyme. Despite the simplicity of writing, try not to go into lyrical arguments, write clearly and specifically. Your main task is to convey to the man the reasons for the breakup and your vision of the situation.
Both poetry and prose are suitable for a farewell letter. Stop your choice on what will be easiest to implement. Don’t forget about the addressee, it is important that he understands your idea.
Where to start a farewell letter?
Every letter should begin with an appeal, and you should not ignore it, it is this that makes our message personalized. You should not start a letter with the phrases “Hello, bunny” or “Hello, dear!” Remember that you are saying goodbye, you should not mislead the man, because he is already your ex, well, and exes are not called that. The best option is to address him by name.
Don't be too formal and avoid cliches, the letter is personal.
Pros and cons of ending a pen pal relationship
Those who are not sure of the adequate reaction of the interlocutor or do not have any feelings for their partner prefer to break up by correspondence. This is appropriate if the relationship did not last long, and during this time it became obvious that there was no point in the long term.
By choosing this method, the initiator of the separation gets rid of the need to give reasons or arguments, the likelihood of becoming a victim of manipulation.
Among the disadvantages of this method are:
- difficulty of formulation;
- ambiguity of message;
- intrusiveness on the part of the partner in attempts to discuss what happened.
To eliminate such consequences, this issue must be approached seriously and responsibly.
When should you choose a personal meeting?
to break up by correspondence if the relationship lasted a long time and the feelings of the once loved one have acquired significance and value.
A message of not the most pleasant content in this case is a banal demonstration of disrespect.
If you plan to remain on friendly terms with your ex-partner, this method is also inappropriate. It is inappropriate to communicate your intention to break up via message to a hot-tempered person who is prone to revenge.
Most likely, the offended partner will not hesitate to spread rumors , publish personal photographs and disseminate details of his personal life - it will take a long time to restore his reputation, postponing important matters and quiet leisure time.
How to talk about a breakup?
All you can do is sweeten the bitter pill a little; you still have to call a spade a spade, and it’s better to do it right away. Not in the first sentence, of course, but definitely in the first part of the letter. Write that you value the time spent together and your ex-boyfriend remains a close person to you, but you have decided to move on.
And remember about honesty.
Tell him why you decided to leave, perhaps this will help your ex-boyfriend avoid mistakes in the future, if this is the reason. If you fall in love with someone else, speak up directly. Do not use cliches from films; it is quite possible that your man has also watched them and will immediately recognize plagiarism. Try to describe what is on your soul. Is it difficult and bitter for you? Admit it! If, on the contrary, you feel like you have grown wings, wish your ex-boyfriend the same.
What should I say goodbye?
Finish the letter exactly as you began - in a restrained tone. Do not say goodbye with the words “Still yours forever...” or “I will love you forever,” in this way you will nullify everything that was written before. The optimal ending would be a request not to be offended and to try to understand you.
Hit the Road Jack
The letter can be written either by hand or using a computer or typewriter.
The head of the department of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, James Pennebaker, developed his method, which has been used all over the world for about 40 years. This method is called "expressive writing"
The psychologist wrote a book about the method and claims that after completing the exercise, people feel not only moral relief, but they also feel better physically: stiffness leaves the body and they get sick less often.
It only takes three days to feel relief. For three days, you need to sit down at the table, take a pen, a piece of paper and write everything that comes to mind about the current situation.
What should you not write in a farewell letter?
Many women make the same mistake when breaking up with men - leaving the door open. You should not give a person false hopes. If you decide to say goodbye, say it firmly. In a farewell letter there is no place for the phrases “I will feel bad without you,” “I may regret my decision,” or “Who knows if our destinies will unite again.”
Yes, breaking up is hard, especially if you made such a decision after a long relationship, but a farewell letter to a guy whose love has passed should be a full stop, not an ellipsis.
Do you remember, of course you all remember
Such a letter is, of course, worth sending. In it you only need to remember all the good things, the happiness that accompanied you, add a touch of sadness that all this is gone forever. And the hope that if you ever meet, you will be happy again separately and will not remember anything bad, if it happened.
It is important that the farewell letter to your husband upon separation is written in the correct style: without reproaches and insults, it should not contain insults.
We can only hope that these tips will never be useful to anyone.
Examples of farewell letters to a man
When writing a farewell note to your beloved guy, you should take into account not only general recommendations, but also the individual characteristics of the person to whom the letter is addressed. Try to anticipate the reaction to your message so that the breakup causes as little pain as possible for both you and the man.
To Army
“Hello, Lekha! The other day I found out that after you went into the army, you please not only me, but also Vika, your neighbor, with messages. She herself showed your tender letters. I didn’t say that you were sending similar letters to another girl. I'm not asking you to make a choice. A decent woman is not on her way with a man who is capable of such meanness. Nadia".
whom you love
“Dear Andryusha! I made a difficult decision for myself to break up with you. Not easy because I still love you. However, we cannot be together. You want me to remain a housewife and devote myself only to washing and cooking dinners. Meanwhile, I have a higher education and unfulfilled ambitions. I want to make a career as a lawyer, perhaps open my own business. You don't respect me as a person, you laugh at my desires.
We could become a wonderful married couple and start our own business. But you are not used to seeing a woman as a person equal to yourself. I hope you meet your housewife who will cook borscht for you. Still loving you Anya.”
who offended
When writing such a letter, it is very difficult not to express your anger and resentment in the letter. However, this should not be done. It would be best to point out that his words and actions hurt you and became the main reason for your separation from him.
Don't stoop to his level and don't try to offend or offend him in any way.
Options for a farewell letter addressed to a person who offended you:
“Hello, Yura! I am forced to write you a letter because I am afraid to be alone with you. This is not the first time you have raised your hand against me. You have always received forgiveness for your inappropriate behavior. I never contacted the police. I won’t do this now. Somewhere deep down I still love you. But I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore. Kate".
“Hello, I’ve been wanting to write you a farewell letter for a long time, but I never got around to it. But after what you did, I don’t have a single drop of doubt that the time has come and that we need to part.
You yourself have already noticed that the feelings that were there at the beginning of the relationship are no longer there. And they will not exist, they will not be able to be reborn again in a cold heart. Your action hurt me very much and hit my pride. But I forgive you for this and let you go forever. Swim forward and don't look back. Find your life partner.
I want you to succeed. Get everything you want from life. Good luck, success to you and happiness in your personal life. And goodbye!
which changed
Treason is the lowest and most terrible act committed by a person.
And often after a girl finds out about her lover’s betrayal, she begins to commit rash acts and actions. It’s better not to do this, but just calm down, analyze everything and think carefully. Make a decision and write a farewell letter in which you can state all your grievances and complaints. And if you know the person with whom he cheated on you.
You should not include this person's name in your farewell letter.
Options for a farewell letter addressed to a man who committed treason:
"Dear Alex! This time I decided to leave forever. I'm tired of your endless apologies and promises not to cheat anymore. Last week you cheated with my best friend. This is a double betrayal. Don't try to deny, I read your correspondence on your phone. I know that reading someone else’s correspondence is not good, but your behavior has always forced me to do so. Now let Galka tolerate your betrayals. Good luck to both of you. Zhanna."
“I am writing to you, but this time is the last time! I thought for a long time whether I should write to you or not. But I still decided to write. I want you to know that I still love you deeply and sincerely. But I cannot forgive what you did. I can't accept the fact that you cheated on me. Thus, you simply deprived me of everything. You trampled my feelings and attitude towards you.
But that's not all! I decided to make a difficult, but the best decision for both of us - to leave. Let's start life with a clean slate. Your new beginning in life has already been successfully made with another person. On this I cordially congratulate you and wish you happiness.
Don't worry! I won't hold any grudge against you. Live and don’t think about me, and if you do, remember only the best moments that connected us. Be honest with yourself and don’t make the same mistakes towards other representatives of the fairer sex.
Let everything you wish come true! And goodbye forever!
To your ex
When writing a letter, a bunch of different thoughts appear in your head that prevent you from getting together and writing it. Therefore, to make it easier for you when writing a farewell letter, we have selected several options depending on the reason for the separation. But you can only peek at them and take something of your own. You should not completely copy, as you must convey your soul and emotions through writing.
Therefore, you need to write it yourself.
If the reason for your separation was a lack of feelings, then it is better to write about this in a letter directly and honestly. There is no need to come up with other reasons, and thus come up with an excuse for yourself. If you start making excuses, the man will not believe in your sincerity and will consider it as a lack of respect for himself.
This is the end!
Put all the dots in place - send a farewell SMS to your loved one.
- When this SMS reaches you, you will already be erased from my life... I will survive this pain! I can open my future, and you go away...
- Not so long ago I was burning with your touches, but now it’s disgusting for me to even remember them... Dreams will remain dreams, my boy. This is the end!
- I'll get through this. I'll get bogged down in work, as usual. I'll survive and forget. Thank you for the time when we were happy. But there will be no second chance, goodbye...
- This SMS is my last line to you. And it's already cut. Goodbye and be happy... without me.
- I no longer understand why we need a relationship with you... It’s probably time for us to end it.
- I got a lucky ticket - I realized that I have no future with you! Goodbye…
- Let the other fool suffer with you. And it tired me too much. Good luck in finding your next soul mate...
- You tore off my wings and trampled them into the dirt... I don’t know what I expected when I gave you a second chance.
- When the desire for loneliness overcomes the desire to be with you, that’s the end!
- Our castles in the air have shattered... goodbye, kitten.
- I remember the fire that burned inside me when it all started... Damn your fire extinguishers.
- Any past is just the past. Now you are my past...
How to write a farewell letter to a man for whom a woman’s feelings have cooled so that he will cry?
When writing a letter, a bunch of different thoughts appear in your head that prevent you from getting together and writing it. Therefore, to make it easier for you when writing a farewell letter, we have selected several options depending on the reason for the separation. But you can only peek at them and take something of your own. You should not completely copy, as you must convey your soul and emotions through writing.
Therefore, you need to write it yourself.
If the reason for your separation was a lack of feelings, then it is better to write about this in a letter directly and honestly. There is no need to come up with other reasons, and thus come up with an excuse for yourself. If you start making excuses, the man will not believe in your sincerity and will consider it as a lack of respect for himself.
Beautiful and brave crossed the road
Often women who are left offended by their cheating husband for another. If a husband leaves his wife with a child, the resentment remains for a long time, and this pain must be thrown out somewhere so that it does not destroy either the woman or the child. Writing a farewell letter to a husband who cheated is useful and therapeutic, but there is a chance that the ex-husband will not read the letter and delve into the essence of the message. Or, worse, he will answer, and then an epistolary squabble will begin, and this will have a negative impact on the woman and on the joint baby.
After all, she will inevitably take it out on the child. These nuances should definitely be taken into account. Therefore, a farewell letter to your cheating husband must be written and destroyed.
How to behave after sending a letter
Your behavior after sending the message depends on the purpose for which you wrote the letter:
The message was written to say goodbye.
If you decide to break up with your loved one, after sending the letter you must stop all contact with him. An exception can be considered those cases when a meeting cannot be avoided, for example, with a former spouse in court.
If your recipient attempts to contact you using the same message in order to make peace, insult you, etc., the received letter should be ignored.
The message was written with the goal of making the partner change.
The purpose of some farewell letters is psychological pressure. Women especially often resort to this type of manipulation. After sending the message, it is necessary to observe the further behavior of the recipient for 2-3 weeks. If a person has made no attempt to meet and talk, this does not always mean agreement with the breakup.
Perhaps he is sure that you do not want to continue the relationship and is not trying to win you back. Send a second letter with an offer to make peace.
Please remember that you are responsible for all events that occur after you send the email. Using farewell messages to psychologically influence someone you love is not advisable.
The most common reasons for divorce
- Cheating on one of the spouses or mutual infidelity.
- Alcoholism, drug addiction or gambling addiction of one of the family members.
- Infertility of one of the spouses or unwillingness to procreate.
- Cultural, religious or racial incompatibility.
- Family violence.
- Loss of sexual attraction.
- Financial difficulties.
- Housing problem.
- Early marriage.
- Marriage due to pregnancy.
- Lack of mutual understanding.
- One of the spouses is not ready for family life (hasn't had enough time).
This is not a complete list of reasons for divorce.
Breakups have many motives, but when spouses break up without scandals, and even remain friends, this is the highest aerobatics.
As a rule, it happens that in a broken couple, one ex-spouse remains the winner, while the other long and painfully licks the wounds caused by the events that preceded the divorce and its consequences.
