I repeat myself a lot. But the topic, as client requests show, is a pressing one. I notice that people love their life when they fill it with their favorite content: interesting activities and pleasant company. It's that simple. If you don't complicate things. But they complicate life and do not understand banal patterns when they lose contact with their desires. A person does not feel what he wants, loads himself with what is unwanted - and naturally suffers.
Desires are the vital energy of a person, his “food and air.” A person finds the clear meaning of life in the fulfillment of desires. And by suppressing desires, a person becomes alienated from himself and fades - the most well-worn path to depression. They follow it using two methods - idealization and fear. I will talk about this further.
Escape and freedom
Desires give two possible directions. They strive either for freedom or for security. These directions usually lead in opposite directions. In the direction of freedom we come face to face with fear. In the direction of security, freedom is lost.
The desire for freedom encourages oneself to reveal and manifest so that the voice of the soul can be heard. In practice, a person simply does what he loves, expresses his uniqueness, at the risk of being judged.
The desire for safety encourages oneself to close and protect, so that the soul is not at risk of being injured. Her voice fades to barely audible, and her personality becomes withdrawn and ceases to feel that in this life she loves - it is too dangerous - to follow the call of her heart. In practice, a person does whatever he wants, just not to take risks. He tries to be an inconspicuous “nobody”, blends in with his surroundings so as not to be subject to possible condemnation.
Only the expression of personal potential allows you to love your life. That is, passing through the barriers of fear is an obligatory challenge on the path of spiritual growth and a joyful life. Suffering is reduced when a person overcomes fears and receives his food - fresh impressions.
Imagine that you have no fear at all. What would you do? Give this fantasy at least a minute.
You can simply approach a stranger from the crowd that you like, and at the risk of seeming crazy, still get acquainted. You get the drive from life not within tired four walls, but in unpredictable spontaneity.
Advice from psychologists on how to love life and enjoy every day
The general level of love of life depends on how much a person knows how to enjoy each individual day and even hour. Many psychologists, in their therapy dealing with completely different needs, begin to work so that a person feels the joy of every day and learns to live in the present, and not look back at the categories of the past or future, which give nothing but unnecessary experiences.
You can restore your level of enjoyment in life by allowing yourself to immerse yourself in the past, but not for the purpose of thinking about situations, what could have been done or in regrets, but with a positive assessment. You can go through your achievements, look back at difficult times, but without regret, but with pride in overcoming difficulties. The more positive you notice in your past, the more it will become a resource for the present. This way you can understand that existing problems are not significant, because you have previously dealt with more difficult ones, raise your level of self-esteem and decide on new achievements, appreciating your existing achievements and considering them as a springboard.
How to love life again? After the past has been correctly assessed, it is necessary to switch to the present and appreciate those people who happen to be nearby. There is no point in regretting those who left your life or constantly bring negative experiences with their inconstancy - minimize your own stress. The more a person learns to value every minute of his time, the more pleasure he lives it, spends it with significant people, does important things, instead of wasting a limited time resource on those who do not deserve it.
How to love life and yourself? Take responsibility for your happiness and trust less and be charmed by others in advance. If you expect to be made happy or demand fulfillment of promises made in the heat of passion, then in the end you can turn your life into hell on your own. Trust only yourself and the highest manifestation of the universe. The world is truly such that it can take care of anyone, but to do this you need to relax and be open to interacting with any person, and not expect a grand salvation from just one.
It is necessary to cultivate love and forbearance towards others. As long as we are able to forgive other people’s mistakes and forget negative actions, we establish relationships with significant people, but few people treat themselves this way. High demands are placed on oneself, even small mistakes are not forgiven, and other people’s remarks, said in passing, are perceived as an argument for active changes. You need to understand that you, too, are not omnipotent, you have the right to make mistakes, and that your own love and care is always more healing for the psyche than someone else’s. You can’t suppress your needs and work with all your might to please others and earn their love, just as you can’t sacrifice your interests and health so that someone else can feel good. Following such a strategy, life can become unbearable, and another will only understand that it is convenient to use you to further improve their life.
Work on liberating your own emotional sphere. You can periodically play the role of a madman or a prankster, remember bandits from movies and cartoons - everyone has a mischievous devil and a huge level of spontaneity. The opportunity to run through puddles, swim in a fountain, catch a balloon and play with a child whose ball accidentally landed on your foot - these are all manifestations of inner freedom from external rules and responsibilities. The more such rash actions, coming from the heart and a childish desire for joy, you commit, the more happiness your life will be filled with, the more different interesting opportunities and risky options for development your subconscious will begin to notice.
Don’t be afraid to be funny and open, stupid and crazy, support those who are judged and feared, dress not in accordance with unspoken rules, but according to your own taste - all this will create a slight flair of strangeness for others, but truth for you.
Non-existent indestructible barriers
The main pitfall of striving for security is a trick of the mind when one’s own fears are mistaken for the ultimate impenetrable walls of existence.
From childhood, everyone feels that the boundaries of the familiar are not the end of the world, they hide a world of endless possibilities. But if you don’t dare to follow them, fear becomes a constant background. So unpleasant that consciousness displaces the experience into the latent. You lose your understanding of what exactly you are afraid of - but you only feel how an invisible force with a stranglehold is daring you away from the limits of everyday life. And then they confuse their limited, empty life with global reality. As if everything in general is “decay and vain existence.”
In the articles I have already said that the mind always reaches out to the most comfortable conditions for itself, and from this perspective, every personal movement is the fulfillment of a current desire. Another thing is that a clear awareness of the desired scenarios of a happy life can disappear completely when the desire to hide in safety prevails.
For example, a person goes to a job he doesn’t like, seemingly “forcedly, not of his own free will,” but does it for specific reasons - money, approval, comfort zone - these “sacrifices” are his current secondary benefit, which has overpowered the voice of the soul.
Neurotic compulsion is a reluctance to admit that the desire to hide from fear turned out to be stronger than the desire for freedom.
“You must love life more than the meaning of life” - this is the whole philosophy of the current moment
Probably, today everyone feels that life has interrupted its ordinary course. Something is happening that goes beyond past historical experience. The world is changing, and when we are told that it will no longer be the same, you believe it, although everything inside groans and resists such a conclusion.
But what exactly happened to us? How can we correctly define the moment that we are currently experiencing? It seems to me that the essence of what is happening can be defined as a phase transition to a digital society.
A phase transition is usually understood as a sharp change in the properties of a system, as a result of which it passes into a different state. This is roughly what we are seeing now. The result of the ongoing changes should be the emergence of a new type of society, the fundamental novelty of which lies not so much in the fact that a digital environment is being built, increasingly drawing people into it, but in the fact that sociality itself is now realized through digital technologies. “Digital” is no longer an external tool, not a means used for work, entertainment, learning or knowledge; it has turned into an inseparable social fabric that ensures the very existence of society.
The acceleration of events, which is so noticeable today, is caused by the fact that the replacement of the traditional social fabric with a digital one has reached, so to speak, the central nervous system - the control system. Right before our eyes, the management of society is being restructured from indirect methods, when decisions are made by people, to direct, digital ones, which assume that nothing human can no longer influence the achieved result. Just as when driving a car, by flipping a switch or pressing a button, we immediately get the desired action, in the same way, with the help of new technologies, we can achieve automatic changes in people’s behavior. A person's capabilities are determined by his access rights, which are regulated via a QR code.
The QR code system saves a lot of management energy. If it is implemented everywhere, there will be no need to justify decisions and specifically motivate people to implement them. Everyone will be able to personally configure the parameters of social activity - allow something, disable something, and change these settings at any time. Control will also be extremely simplified. Finally, people will turn into an ideal control object, they will become just a functional attachment at the end of the wire along which the electronic signal will run.
The development of digital systems was a necessary prerequisite for the transition to a digital society, but in itself it would not cause a phase transition. In addition to technological limitations, there were also ethical ones. The transformation of a person into an automatic part should have become ethically possible. This required a serious reason. It was necessary to find an ethical imperative, the categoricalness of which would surpass the unacceptability of depriving a person of the right to independent life. And such an imperative was found: society accepted the idea that the very continuation of life is more important than all personal rights.
This year we have a memorable date - 200 years since the birth of Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky. As always in such cases, we turn to the legacy of the hero of the day, looking for in him what is most consonant with our hearts. And then a quote flashed on the information panels in the Moscow metro: “You must love life more than the meaning of life.” And signed “F.M. Dostoevsky." In fact, Dostoevsky does not have this exact phrase. If you look at The Brothers Karamazov, there is the following dialogue:
“...I want to go to Europe, Alyosha, and I’ll go from here; and I know that I will only go to the cemetery, but to the most, the most expensive cemetery, that’s what! Dear dead people lie there, every stone above them speaks of such a passionate past life, of such passionate faith in my feat, in my truth, in my struggle and in my science, that I know in advance that I will fall to the ground and kiss these stones and cry over them, - at the same time, convinced with all my heart that all this has long been a cemetery and nothing more. And I will not cry out of despair, but simply because I will be happy with my shed tears. I’ll get drunk with my own tenderness. Sticky spring leaves, I love the blue sky, that's what! It’s not intelligence, it’s not logic, it’s with your gut, it’s with your womb, you love your first youthful strength... Do you understand anything in my nonsense, Alyoshka, or not? - Ivan suddenly laughed.
“I understand too much, Ivan: with your gut and belly you want to love,” you said it perfectly, and I’m terribly glad that you want to live like that,” Alyosha exclaimed. “I think that everyone should, first of all, love life in the world.”
- To love life more than its meaning?
“Of course, I must love before logic, as you say, before logic, and only then will I understand the meaning.” This is what I have been imagining for a long time. Half of your work is done, Ivan, and acquired: you love to live. Now you need to try to take care of your other half, and you will be saved.
“You’re the one who saves, and maybe I didn’t die!” What is your other half?
“The fact is that you need to resurrect your dead, who may never have died.”
It is necessary to give a long quotation to show how the author unwinds his thought, expressing it through the superposition of the views of such different characters as those of Ivan and Alyosha. Any meaning in life arises only after you love life itself, understand that it is a value, and not some garbage, a gift to man from God, which must be used correctly. The heart must open before the cold logic of rationality kicks in. This is what the quote is about, but it was cut up to create a phrase that, in essence, denies any meaning other than the simple extension of existence.
“You must love life more than the meaning of life” - this is the whole philosophy of the current moment. Ethics built on such a philosophy, at the first threat to life, allows you to abandon any values, since they are considered secondary.
And so we see how the fear of death, elevated to the highest virtue, gives a blessing for the establishment of a digital control system. The introduction of QR codes receives strong ethical support to overcome moral objections.
Without the pandemic, there would be no phase transition, but it is a mistake to associate the emerging society solely with sanitary motivation. This is just an incentive or a reason - it came at the right time to such an extent that you begin to wonder whether it is really accidental. However, the new system is so convenient for those who get the opportunity to press buttons that they will support it regardless of external circumstances.
If we talk about the novelty of the emerging social structure, it is worth understanding how this novelty is ensured, or, in other words, what the new society denies. We have to admit that the phase transition is carried out due to the rejection of Christianity.
There has already been a period in the history of mankind when people were viewed instrumentally, performing the role of a functional peripheral device. This is the era of slavery. Aristotle wrote: “A slave is a part of the master, as if some, existing separately from him, an animated part of his body.” The ancient Roman economist Marcus Terence Varro classified: “There are three types of tools: those that do not speak are working animals, dumb ones are carts, and those that speak are slaves.”
Christianity introduced into the world the idea of the fundamental, original equality of people. This became part of the good news: “There is no longer Jew nor Gentile; there is neither slave nor free; there is neither male nor female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28). In Christ all differences are removed. All people are brothers, everyone you can help is your neighbor. And when Christianity spread throughout the world, slavery could not resist and disappeared.
Today we could supplement the list given by the Apostle Paul by saying that where Christianity is, where the Orthodox Church is, where everything is and Christ is in everything, “there is neither Greek nor Jew, neither circumcision nor uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free” (Col. 3:11), neither vaccinated nor unvaccinated, neither “vaxxer” nor “anti-vaxxer.” When the Lord calls to do good to those who hate and to pray for those who offend, “that you may be sons of your Father in heaven, for He makes His sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the just and the unjust” (Matthew 5:45), it is difficult to imagine that He would then said: “just differentiate between those who have a QR code and those who don’t.”
All this social mechanics, when, according to some principle, some people are declared worthy of receiving benefits, while others are subject to deprivation, is not compatible with Christian teaching, and the fact that it is established as a new norm indicates that the world has stepped over its past Christianity. This is a sign of a change of eras. We have been talking for a long time about the weakening of faith and the loss of Christian values, but only now the final step has been taken. With the introduction of the QR code system, an era of openly anti-Christian world begins.
And our Orthodox Church will still have to somehow respond to the introduction of QR segregation. Remaining silent as if nothing special is happening will not work. They won't give it. Sooner or later there will be pressure to accept a common system. The first shooting has already begun. So, on November 9, at a briefing held by the deputy head of the Sverdlovsk region, Pavel Krekov, he was asked whether “it is planned to classify Orthodox and Catholic churches, mosques, and synagogues as COVID-free zones”? The word COVID-free in modern newspeak (almost straight out of Orwell) is used to designate closed areas that can only be reached using a QR code. The official replied that our religious organizations are separated from the state. “This is a decision that must be made by the leadership of our faiths. We recommend doing this, and as for specific conclusions, this is already the area of responsibility of all our confessions,” he said. So far, at the level of recommendations. You can expect the pressure to increase. The Church will inevitably be required to behave more responsibly, especially when everything around is switched to QR regulation.
In fact, the refusal to allow people on public transport without QR codes is an indirect ban on visiting temples - after all, you have to get there somehow, not everyone has a temple within walking distance, and many do not have personal vehicles. But this infringement of the rights of believers is the first sign. The anti-Christian essence of the new era will not allow us to put up with the existence of a parallel world in which everyone is loved and everyone is in unity, regardless of personal status. They will try to break the church.
The fact that the Church is still silent adds to the reality of the reformers' agility. The enemy looks weak. Perhaps the realization has not yet come that, unlike vaccination, QR marking is not a matter of personal choice, but is a challenge to the foundations of Christianity. To allow QR segregation into the Church would be to step away from Christ.
But our Lord is a stumbling block. The builders of the new world rejected Him, threw Him out, but it is quite possible that they will still stumble. If the Church does not flinch and withstand pressure, the simple fact of the existence of a public space where QR codes are not present and, moreover, they are unthinkable, will expose the untruth of what is happening. The lie will spread like rotten fabric, the phase transition will be interrupted and society will remain a human community without turning into a social automaton.
Source: ruskline.ru
Stereotypes
Another popular way to not love life, tightly shutting up the voice of the soul, is the fear of being an abnormal black sheep and the subsequent stereotypical existence. For example, when a creative streak dominates in your soul, but stereotypes require you to become an office worker, start a family and take out a mortgage. The example is trivial, but it reflects national trends.
Stereotypes, in their voracious demands, are similar to ideals, but they manipulate not so much the transcendental carrot of success as the whip of guilt and humiliation for disobeying their dictates. Stereotypes can be given their due - they encourage one to achieve relatively realistic goals, in the spirit: build a cottage, plant a bonsai, conceive heirs, so that through them you can “continue” - if you didn’t do it yourself - make way for your descendants.
One of my friends, emphasizing his desire for freedom, more than once offered his interlocutors a small visualization. If you believe in rebirth, imagine that you have been building houses and raising children cyclically for a hundred lives. Introduced?
And the majority really need all this for self-satisfaction - either nature still resonates with the standards of society, or it has been thoroughly sold to it - and does not know any other comfort. Layers of personality given to feed stereotypes can drown out the voice of the soul to a barely perceptible sadness about something that has not come true.
How to regain your zest for life
We got bogged down in everyday routine and problems, so we stopped feeling the zest for life. Isn't it time to reconsider your positions?
- Start thinking positively. Down with failures and problems! If you don’t have an algorithm for failures and misfortunes in your mind, then they will literally follow you on your heels. You will begin to perceive any event pessimistically. And if serious problems begin, then there is a chance of falling into depression. Therefore, from the thought “everything is bad with me,” move on to “everything is fine with me,” “problems can be solved.”
Start to see life not as a burden, but as a gift. Finally, forget about the Internet. Go with friends to cafes and cinemas, visit gyms, just take a walk down the street, even if it’s raining. Try to communicate more with those who are near and dear to you. Evenings and weekends watching TV is a direct path to depression and loneliness.
If you think positively, you will begin to perceive even failures not as defeats, but as life experience and a step towards success.
- Learn to love yourself. Life is wonderful. You must feel this if you love yourself. Try to do what you like. Minimize communication with unpleasant people, find a more interesting and well-paid job. If you don’t like your appearance, get a new hairstyle, buy a stunning outfit. And in general, appearance is not the main thing. The main thing is self-love and self-confidence. Here's a simple example. Paul McCartney's second wife Heather Mills was missing a leg. But after the amputation, she not only did not fall into depression, but arranged for herself another PR campaign. She created events herself, overcoming obstacles. It would be nice for you to increase your self-esteem and direct your life in the direction you want.
- Enjoy every day. Learn to admire the most ordinary things: good weather, leaves falling from trees, a paper boat that children are running after. Every day is unique, remember this!
Idealization
The other extreme and a way to not love your life is idealization - its hypostases: love, fanaticism and deification. In this vein, they fall in love not with people, but with their fantasies about an ideal life. Therefore, they exalt by idealization not only lovers, but in general every supposed harbinger of future happiness - for example, teachers and preachers who advertise those tempting heights with which the mind is selflessly enchanted.
It would seem that everything is wonderful, but this is the real, strongest desire - to follow your ideal path and get the happiness you are looking for. And at first, the idealist is truly, as if on the eve of sparkling success, overwhelmed with joy. In contrast to yesterday's life and familiar surroundings, he may feel chosen, honored with a lucky star.
But idealization is fraught with a catch that quickly spoils everything. It encourages you to cling with all your might to the non-existent, to mistake dreams divorced from life for an impending reality - another false projection. The idealist initially rejoices not at present events and people, but at how the present “should” unfold into future triumph. The idealist has not yet “jumped over”, but has already shouted “gop” at the top of his lungs a thousand times. In your imagination.
A clear example is sectarianism, where adherents who believe in rapid success are drawn into the abyss of hopes for spiritual laurels. Followers of financial pyramids similarly expect rapid growth, inclusion in the elite, and an endless stream of big and easy profits. And most often they punish themselves with idealization in relationships, when they attribute their only possible happiness to the reciprocity of their beloved.
How to learn to enjoy life: tips and exercises
You can get pleasure from a variety of things. Think for yourself what you like, what you would like.
Tip 1.
Stop worrying and start living.
Disconnect from disturbing thoughts about the future and stay in the present moment. Just surrender to your emotions, without including judgment.
- Exercise 1. Take five-minute breaks at work to just look out the window. Pay attention to the color of the sky, whether there are passers-by on the pavement, whether they are walking quickly or slowly.
- Exercise 2. Pay attention to what you eat. Try to enjoy your food. Hot soup? Salty? Spicy? Fried meat?
- Exercise 3. Find 15-20 minutes a day for conscious breathing. Breathe and count, say, to 4 as you inhale and to 6 as you exhale. Watch how your stomach rises and falls at this time. Don't think about anything other than breathing. If you find the exercise difficult at first, try apps that help beginners understand the process of mindful meditation.
The whims of lovers
When the lover confesses his love in return, the lover believes that he has been handed a ticket to guaranteed happiness, and his hopes flare up with triple strength. In fact, with his confession, a lover can express a fleeting impulse of passion that does not imply any promises. Therefore, rushing ahead with the enthusiastic construction of castles in the air of illusory love only guarantees an escape from reality and subsequent bitter disappointment.
If disappointment is unbearable, the soul finds a way out in a new, intensified separation from reality, and layers a compacted layer of illusions until the unconsciousness of madness.
It is not easy for a growing soul to admit that she has no real power over life and people. There is only an eternal claim to an ideal life. Suspended grievances are a capricious refusal to acknowledge the groundlessness of one’s requests.
How to love people
It is impossible to love life if you don't love people. When your neighbors annoy you, your boss pesters you, or your friends betray you, life seems terrible. But it’s worth reconsidering your attitude towards others, and you will immediately feel better.
- Look for something positive in people. You can even write down all the person’s virtues so that you always remember them. Sergey is an excellent conversationalist. Maria is a wonderful cook and knows how to receive guests. Even if you don’t like a person at all, there is a lot of good in him and you can find common ground with him.
- Express positive feelings. Do you want to receive? Then give it away. The more you give, the more you will receive. Hug people whenever possible, do it from the heart. This will make it easier for you to establish contact with them. In this way, you can not only find harmony and joy, but also increase your own self-esteem.
- Smile when meeting strangers. To begin with, try smiling at people in the elevator or in the next courtyard, instead of sullenly immersing yourself in your own thoughts. You may be considered strange, but chances are you will get a smile in return. This means that you were able to melt the ice and bring joy to the person.
- Help without thinking whether they will answer you in kind. Volunteer when possible. Help an elderly neighbor get to the clinic, or invite distant, poor relatives to dinner. The main thing is that you feel satisfied with what you do.
Inflation of love
The main pitfall of idealization is discounting all past meanings in favor of one decisive one. The idealist “sends to hell” everything that previously pleased him, as if announcing to the world that he no longer needs it. Alienated from all past meanings, he throws all his eggs into one non-existent basket - that is, into nowhere. And when the loss is discovered, a gaping hole is formed in the soul.
With the beginning of idealization, everything that nourished the soul is devalued, interests are erased. And after the intoxication of false happiness, a depressive hangover begins. Life in general begins to seem empty and meaningless.
In words, self-deception seems clearly obvious. In fact, everyone deceives themselves this way. It is the nature of the mind to push aside the real in favor of hoping for the best.
To idealize means not to love your real life, but to put an end to it and despise it, so that it becomes a forgotten step to the feet of a fake deity with exorbitant demands.
They are seduced by ideals simply because they like to amuse themselves with hope. And the more fabulous the hope, the more love its plot evokes. Probably everyone, deep down in their souls, irrationally feels special - and therefore worthy of metaphysical grace.
Reasons for dislike of life
To love life and be happy, you need to find and eliminate the reasons for the absence of this love. The basic law boils down to the fact that the less love a person has for himself and understanding of his own needs, the less opportunity he ultimately has to build his own life so that it pleases. This is where the main advice comes from: love life and then life will love you, take care of yourself and become more successful. In a psychological context, the case when the level of love of life is reduced due to endogenous depression is not considered, since these cases are corrected exclusively with medication and are classified as a pathological condition.
If manifestations of clinical depression are noticed, then the cause is a failure of biological mechanisms, and there is no need to look for other psychological or social causes, since symptoms often disappear when the root cause is eliminated with medication.
Of the main psychological points, one of the most significant is the presence of internal conflict. Such situations can be represented by various examples of the fact that a person loves one, but is forced to live with another, specializes and is interested in biology, and works in the statistics department. Deeper moments include the inability to respond in accordance with one’s inner feelings, and then fears, anxieties or anger (any socially disapproved feelings or what is prohibited in a particular circle) are suppressed, which is why internal tension grows. It turns out that without showing some part of his feelings, a person temporarily becomes a little deader, and the lower the vitality of the personality itself, the less interest and love for life.
Among the external reasons, one can highlight the fact that a person does not live his own life. He can study at the university chosen by his parents or date a person who is liked by his mother or girlfriend. Hobbies are chosen in the same way - when there is no one’s own opinion, but there is an orientation towards the opinions of others, or since childhood there has been no opportunity to defend one’s decisions. Even little things like listening to music, choosing leisure activities, places to relax, breakfast and type of coffee can take away the feeling of fullness in life. When a person cannot show his individuality even in clothes, then in the end he becomes extremely disappointed and needs to conform. There is no internal resource to live, because... there is no true psychological fulfillment as a result of the activity performed.
Such states, that of an internal ban on living one’s own feelings, or the external realization of one’s aspirations, can arise either due to violence, tyranny, being in a dependent relationship, or as a result of previously received psychological trauma, or as a consequence of a lack of interest in oneself.
In the first options, radical and very specific actions are sometimes necessary - to leave an environment where there is no space for the true life of one’s own soul, to end a toxic relationship. You can deal with psychological trauma on your own or with the help of a psychotherapist, but the level of interest in yourself, understanding your desires and needs, inclinations and weaknesses cannot be resolved in one move - this is long-term work with unpleasant experiences of impasse, shame, guilt and other feelings that previously blocked the feeling vitality and love of life.
Falling high
On spiritual routes, both escaping into the safety of the comfort zone and fanatical idealization are practiced. Escape from a frightening world is presented as a godly hermitage designed to strangle the personality, cutting it off from what it desires, so that consciousness is thrown beyond the personal into the deep layers of perception.
Careless seekers christen social paths as mouse fuss and try to break their personality, tied to society, in order to thus gain rewarded enlightenment.
Nowadays, the ancient meaning of enlightenment has long been lost, and the concept has simply become a fashionable trend to indicate its significance. An adequate person will try on this title only out of strategic necessity, realizing how contradictory it is met - with mistrust, alternating with blind idealization.
Fanatical seekers, as usual, receive not enlightenment, but lifelong depression, and in advanced cases, a complete separation from reality. A madhouse is not a place, but a state of mind.
A depressed personality, deprived of external nourishment, withdraws into itself, becomes painfully exhausted and fades. Its fragmented remains continue to peer into what they desire, but find there a hopeless, frightening emptiness.
Sometimes such self-suffocation actually forces one to search for new resources, and the person begins to draw from himself - first he burns out himself, then he switches to the resources of the unconscious. If alienation from oneself has not crossed critical boundaries, the seeker can reassemble himself, crystallize a new layer of personality that resonates with the real.
Therefore, as always, everything is good in moderation. A person must receive his own “food”, his own meanings. Otherwise, by immoderately withdrawing into oneself, one loses awareness and falls into despondency.
Buddhahood is not just an unattainable ideal. Just like championship titles in sports. They are reached. Units. But for the average person, belief in one’s chosenness is almost always idealization—a psychological drug. Even the image of a humble saint can become another “silicone” fetish for the amusement of pride. And the contrast with the ideal will poison the soul with guilt and fear of deprivation of the only meaning that is not devalued.
This is dislike for oneself, rejection of oneself, and attached to them is dislike for life. So-so people are forbidden to be mere mortals.
Admitting your own mistakes is the most difficult thing. Otherwise, everyone would have become enlightened long ago. But the psyche knows only one way to recovery - and this is the transformation of unrealistic beliefs into the acceptance of the ultimate truth of this single period of time here and now.
What does it mean to “love life”?
Loving life means loving what is. See and feel the meaning in everything that is right now. Live “here-and-now” or “take everything from life” - this does not mean that right now you need to choose the first entertainment or pleasure that comes to hand. Loving what is means accepting all that is as a manifestation of the highest good. Including the grief of losses, discomfort, rejection and rejection of one’s personality, anxiety... How can one love this and why, thinks consulting psychologist Igor Chaturov.
Dostoevsky, it seems, said that in life, happiness requires as much unhappiness as happiness. The modern culture of narcissistic avoidance attempts to deny this truth. All that is offered to us is a means of avoiding discomfort and distraction, so that our sensory “machine” feels only pleasant things while it is possible. It costs us dearly. We pay for this with the loss of intimacy, sincerity, love... This is a paradox: the more opportunities a person has to get distracted and have fun, the more he avoids facing discomfort, the more lonely, artificial and internally weak he is. A person turns into a prosthesis of himself. And in the end, life still deprives us of comfort, no matter how much we run away from it. The loss of comfort in the future and the loss of meaning in the present is the price to pay for avoiding the “misfortune” that the classic spoke about.
A person is designed in such a way that he values only what he has received through overcoming, into which he has invested his labor, impulses of the psyche and mind. Only overcoming difficulties gives us a sweet feeling of meaning and fullness of life. For example, 30 years ago, finding and reading a good book required a lot of physical and mental effort. And in order to assimilate what you read – mental ones. Nowadays, few people risk spending 5-10 minutes of their life to assimilate a text that causes ambiguous experiences, stretches their worldview, and does not evoke simple positive associations. Our brains have already been trained to look only for superficial and comfortable verbal symbols that automatically reinforce the very personality structure that is actually the cause of our suffering. And the brain, trained by narcissistic avoidance, inspires us with the opposite - supposedly the cause of suffering is external discomfort. Have you lost a loved one? Have you been betrayed by your loved one? Are you sick?... It only seems to us that suffering is outside (this is how our brain is trained). The reason is inside me, in my “I”, in my habit of running away from the fullness of life, in my inability to expand my perception, to make efforts to justify and glorify what seems “bad” to me, but in reality is necessary for the assimilation of life , true love for her here and now.
Meaning is a feeling. Perhaps the sweetest, most intimate and therefore so sought after. It is not scattered on store shelves and social media pages. You can only create it yourself, in the melting pot of your soul and mind. It requires stopping, attention, deep contact with experiences, clear guidance. I have to learn to distinguish not only between “bitter-sweet” and “true-false”. And learn to recognize and make a choice in favor of the fact that the truth, although sometimes bitter, is still more valuable and useful. This is how I learn to create a sense of meaning within myself - the source of love for life in its fullness.
Our brain is already wired to deceive. He automatically works in the mode “if only nothing happens, if only I don’t lose what’s mine, if only they don’t treat me badly.” You shouldn't blame him, or yourself, or anyone else for this. It's part of the game. This is also the fullness of life. But still, we always have the choice to wake up and say our firm “yes” to reality! Open up and let through yourself the entire stream of released experiences, go towards fear, remembering the Goal. The goal is Life itself, its law and meaning, its mystery and completeness, hidden from us, but towards the disclosure of which we are constantly moving, whether we realize it or not. This is our common destiny.
Life is perfect. This is not easy to discover in moments of loss, disappointment, doubt, when there is no clear vision of the next steps and prospects. The ego wants to break out of the cage it has created. This is the time for miracles, for overcoming and transformation. Here you need to stop, open up and trust in something greater than “me.” Here we need “ecstasy in battle,” the courage to be, to feel, to know. Loving what is, discovering the true, hidden meaning of what is happening is a step towards the perfection of love in life. Live, explore, find what you are looking for!
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They prefer life here and now
Do you think these people necessarily strive for grandiose goals? This is nothing more than a myth. Some people really want to achieve more, but most are quite happy with their daily lives and enjoy what lies right in front of them. “Achievement” is not their story at all. They are driven by the desire to make the world a better place, to bring something to it.
How? Cultivate a garden or play with children, play music or play sports, experiment in the kitchen or write stories, draw or repair something. Happy people know how to appreciate other people's and their own contributions to this world.
