How to love life: advice and recommendations from psychologists


The acceleration of the pace of life, a change in the orientation of society, the strengthening of the cult of consumption and success leads to the fact that an increasing number of people complain to neuropsychiatric hospitals and individual psychological consultations with depressive manifestations. The inability to have fun, a decrease in the feeling of joy, and a general ability to notice beautiful moments gives rise to the fact that accepting oneself, loving life and becoming happy becomes one of the most difficult tasks.

The positive thing is that to feel happiness there is no need to perform certain actions and achieve certain designated heights. The experience of falling in love with your own life can be present with many problems, material and moral difficulties. In the same way, a person may be faced with the fact that his own life remains disgusting and uninteresting, despite being in a high position, great wealth, having beauty and positive assessments. All external markers of satisfaction, the opinions of other people and indicators of success do not in any way affect the ways to love life and be happy, since each answer will be individual and you need to look for it within yourself, and not relying on advice brought from outside.

How to regain your zest for life

We got bogged down in everyday routine and problems, so we stopped feeling the zest for life. Isn't it time to reconsider your positions?

  • Start thinking positively. Down with failures and problems! If you don’t have an algorithm for failures and misfortunes in your mind, then they will literally follow you on your heels. You will begin to perceive any event pessimistically. And if serious problems begin, then there is a chance of falling into depression. Therefore, from the thought “everything is bad with me,” move on to “everything is fine with me,” “problems can be solved.”

Start to see life not as a burden, but as a gift. Finally, forget about the Internet. Go with friends to cafes and cinemas, visit gyms, just take a walk down the street, even if it’s raining. Try to communicate more with those who are near and dear to you. Evenings and weekends watching TV is a direct path to depression and loneliness.

If you think positively, you will begin to perceive even failures not as defeats, but as life experience and a step towards success.

  • Learn to love yourself. Life is wonderful. You must feel this if you love yourself. Try to do what you like. Minimize communication with unpleasant people, find a more interesting and well-paid job. If you don’t like your appearance, get a new hairstyle, buy a stunning outfit. And in general, appearance is not the main thing. The main thing is self-love and self-confidence. Here's a simple example. Paul McCartney's second wife Heather Mills was missing a leg. But after the amputation, she not only did not fall into depression, but arranged for herself another PR campaign. She created events herself, overcoming obstacles. It would be nice for you to increase your self-esteem and direct your life in the direction you want.
  • Enjoy every day. Learn to admire the most ordinary things: good weather, leaves falling from trees, a paper boat that children are running after. Every day is unique, remember this!


Living with the truth - “Liar, liar.”

Anyone who lies to others will be tormented by his conscience or the consequences of lying. Anyone who lies to himself closes himself off from happiness. Is it possible to rejoice while living someone else's life?

Lawyer Fletcher Reed does not represent his profession without lying. He manages to screw his family too. In the end, he lies to himself, thinking that work is his main treasure. As a result, the man almost loses his son, almost ruins his career, and almost loses his only true friend - his elderly secretary Greta. As trite as it may sound, it is the truth that saves him from all troubles, even if not in a direct way. What happens to these Fletchers if they don't come to their truth? They:

  • lose loved ones, friends, remain lonely;
  • lose themselves, the real meaning of life, guidelines;
  • experience a constant obsessive feeling that something is missing;
  • suffer from neurotic disorders, outbursts of aggression, apathy;
  • become prone to depression, psychosomatic illnesses, and addictions;
  • as a result, they do not achieve anything because of fatigue, sadness, and loss;
  • soon they begin to regret the years they spent wrong.

How to learn to enjoy life: tips and exercises

You can get pleasure from a variety of things. Think for yourself what you like, what you would like.

Tip 1.
Stop worrying and start living.
Disconnect from disturbing thoughts about the future and stay in the present moment. Just surrender to your emotions, without including judgment.

  • Exercise 1. Take five-minute breaks at work to just look out the window. Pay attention to the color of the sky, whether there are passers-by on the pavement, whether they are walking quickly or slowly.
  • Exercise 2. Pay attention to what you eat. Try to enjoy your food. Hot soup? Salty? Spicy? Fried meat?
  • Exercise 3. Find 15-20 minutes a day for conscious breathing. Breathe and count, say, to 4 as you inhale and to 6 as you exhale. Watch how your stomach rises and falls at this time. Don't think about anything other than breathing. If you find the exercise difficult at first, try apps that help beginners understand the process of mindful meditation.

Remember death

People who are close to death often realize what was truly important to them. They gain a desire to live, their motivation is so high that they forget about all the everyday nonsense and focus on what really matters.

Think about your death and answer a few questions:

These are probably the questions that frighten people when they think about death. It’s better to ask yourself them now, because you still have enough time to change everything.

How to learn to love life

We think that in order to love life, we need to get something from it: a prestigious job, a high salary, a trip to distant lands. “Once I achieve it, then I will rejoice” - this is what many people think. No, you won't. New problems will appear. We need to rejoice now, today. Stray dogs who managed to get food are happier than a person who has everything.

If you want to enjoy life, rejoice! If you want to enjoy every moment of it, enjoy it. No one will bother you except yourself.

  • Smile and laugh more
    . Scientists have long proven that laughter increases life. But it also makes you happier. If you're in a bad mood, watch your favorite comedies. It's nice to meet old friends, remember funny incidents and laugh together.
  • Take care of your health
    . Life is really not a joy for a sick person, so always think about your health. Start going to the gym, take up jogging or yoga. Eat well, give special preference to fruits and vegetables, cook cereals, eat whole grains. And be sure to sleep at least eight hours a night. Getting enough sleep helps strengthen the immune system.
  • Do things that bring you joy.
    It could be crocheting, meeting with friends, preparing food and drinks, playing the guitar, you never know. The main thing is that you enjoy it.
  • Sing from your heart. Scientists have found that in the process of singing, hormones are released in the body that reduce stress. You can join a choir, create your own group, or just get together with friends for choral singing. If you don’t know how to sing or are shy, you can do it in the shower or bedroom.
  • Get rid of fears
    . Very often our happiness is hindered by fears. So try to step out of your comfort zone and do something that you were previously afraid of. For example, speaking in public or skydiving. Don't be discouraged if you can't overcome your fear. Try something simpler, and eventually return to what didn’t work.

Follow your heart - Ace Ventura.

Eccentric, slightly adventurous pet detective Ace Ventura is a shining example of dedication to his work. His profession is strange, rare, but why does he do it? Because it contains three signs of a “favorite thing”:

  1. benefit . Losing pets is a real tragedy for many;
  2. Love . Ace likes his job, he feels needed, recognized;
  3. skills . The detective knows his job and successfully completes cases one after another.

If you erase the veil of film fiction and humor, you can see that this is an ordinary everyday situation. If a person likes something, he knows how to do it, while bringing benefits to the world around him, then this activity should not be given up.

How does it happen in reality? Due to social pressure, dependence on money, and the race for prestige, many abandon their calling. What does this lead to? To the same depression, addictions, neuroses, diseases. Therefore, it is better to always listen to your heart. If there is no opportunity to make good money in the field of interest, let this business remain as a hobby. The main thing is to preserve it.

Ace Ventura also shows how important pets are. They themselves bring happiness, make people happy in difficult moments, and teach them to enjoy small joys.

How to love people

It is impossible to love life if you don't love people. When your neighbors annoy you, your boss pesters you, or your friends betray you, life seems terrible. But it’s worth reconsidering your attitude towards others, and you will immediately feel better.

  • Look for something positive in people. You can even write down all the person’s virtues so that you always remember them. Sergey is an excellent conversationalist. Maria is a wonderful cook and knows how to receive guests. Even if you don’t like a person at all, there is a lot of good in him and you can find common ground with him.
  • Express positive feelings. Do you want to receive? Then give it away. The more you give, the more you will receive. Hug people whenever possible, do it from the heart. This will make it easier for you to establish contact with them. In this way, you can not only find harmony and joy, but also increase your own self-esteem.
  • Smile when meeting strangers. To begin with, try smiling at people in the elevator or in the next courtyard, instead of sullenly immersing yourself in your own thoughts. You may be considered strange, but chances are you will get a smile in return. This means that you were able to melt the ice and bring joy to the person.
  • Help without thinking whether they will answer you in kind. Volunteer when possible. Help an elderly neighbor get to the clinic, or invite distant, poor relatives to dinner. The main thing is that you feel satisfied with what you do.

Allow yourself a bit of mischief - “Mask”.

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Stanley Ipkiss is a polite, considerate man. And everything would be fine, but everyone around is openly taking advantage of it. How does a young man stand up to ridicule? No way, he endures it. Like millions of other people in reality.

The situation remains unchanged until one moment. Stanley accidentally finds an ancient mask that contains the power of the god of mischief and deceit, Loki. And everything immediately falls into place: a pretty girl is found, the offenders remain punished, justice triumphs. But you can’t find such a mask in real life, so what should you do?

Find this mask within yourself. A little Loki lives inside everyone, ready to break out and show how to love life. How to “free” him:

  • don’t be afraid to seem funny, be open;
  • try to participate in the general fun, and not stay on the sidelines;
  • allowing yourself to become a child sometimes;
  • Laugh more often, joke, develop a sense of humor;
  • eradicate tightness and fears;
  • express your emotions openly;
  • find a bit of fun and positivity in everything;
  • be able to entertain yourself and others, create impressions and pleasant memories on your own.

Take a sense of humor test

Value the process, not the result

Having a goal is necessary. When you think about what you are striving for, your motivation increases. This is a good side, but there is also a bad side. You focus too much on the future. You regard every action today as a contribution to the future. Your entire present is dedicated to the future. This can lead to despondency. You will make efforts, but you will not see the real results of your work. Your goal should become just a guideline, not the meaning of life. Live here and now. Enjoy the process.

Life is a compromise

At some point you will have to look at your life and make a difficult decision. Getting rid of toxic people is not easy, because you also have to leave behind years of shared memories. If you want to improve your skills, you will have to sacrifice your time. If you want to move to another city where there are more opportunities, you will have to break ties with your hometown.

Every choice has consequences. And you will always have to look for compromises. To love life, you have to accept this: things don't always go the way you planned. Accept your imperfect decisions, accept your imperfect world. The choices you make define your life and make it unique. Don't be afraid of difficulties. They can teach you new things and give meaning to your life.

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