I hate people. They make you want to hide in the far dark corner of the room and never poke your head out. I walk in the rain when everyone is sitting in their concrete boxes. The sounds of rain are much more pleasant to hear than stupid laughter or obscene, lying speech.
I did not choose to become a misanthrope - a person who hates people. But every attempt to open up to the world ran into a wall of misunderstanding. Blow by blow I moved further and further away from others, and fell in love with loneliness and silence. The hope of finding humanity in people died, only hatred remained.
Disgustingly bad from myself: I don’t want to be like that. I don't want to feel all this. It’s sickening to think that this world is crushing me, grinding me in some hellish millstones and turning me into its disgusting likeness. A creature full of hatred, malice and soullessness. More and more often I want to die. And sometimes scream into the silent space: “HEY, NON-PEOPLE, GIVE ME BACK!!!”
A world in which you want to die: where is the way out?
The reasons why I hate people are clear to anyone who even occasionally looks around them or at least at TV. Greed, money-grubbing, nepotism and corruption permeated the entire society. Everyone suffers from it: from the plumber Vasya, who does not agree to even lift a finger without a bottle, to the intensive care doctor who will calmly let you kick the bucket if you are not “one of our own” and cannot offer a bribe.
“Trainers” en masse teach people how to manipulate each other. Instead of love and fidelity, pickup and other “how to breed a sucker” techniques are in fashion. So why should a normal person love society or its individual representatives? The worst thing is that all attempts in history to re-educate humanity and somehow lead it to peace and brotherhood ultimately fail. Over time, it becomes clear that the roots of hatred (for example, in the form of Nazism) have not gone away and are beginning to sprout again.
It seems that people are hopeless and the world is doomed. If you die today and I die tomorrow, who cares? But there is a way out - tiny, like the eye of a needle, but accessible to awareness.
A person who hates people - who are you?
Most people are concerned about how to build their own micro-paradise in a separate apartment. But for some this is not enough. About 5% of people are born with a special desire: to understand how the world they find themselves in works. Find answers to the questions: who am I, where did I come from and where am I going? What is the meaning of my life, why am I different from others, and why does this world seem alien to me?
There is a strange feeling that a monstrous failure occurred at your birth: you were born either at the wrong time, or in the wrong place. Or maybe on the wrong planet at all. From year to year nothing changes, the alien world torpedoes you with blows, and each time you hate people more and more, you move further and further away from them.
This causes unbearable suffering. It is incomparable in depth, because the cause of the pain is not just Vasya, who turned out to be a freak. The trouble is that such washi are everywhere.
This special global perception of life is not accidental. Anyone who is looking for a way to stop hating people has a special role in the life of humanity. It is not connected with material, mundane interests. The globality of thinking and perception of such people requires knowledge about the structure of not the material world (particles), but the metaphysical reason for everything that happens.
Such knowledge exists; it describes the structure of the collective unconscious. Its structure is revealed in the training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan.
Seven billion fragments of the whole
What is called the Eight-Dimensional Matrix (or eight vectors) constitutes a single psychic, collective unconscious.
Each of us perceives only a certain part of it. Seven billion people, seven billion fragments of perception altogether form a single observable picture of reality.
Why, observing this reality, do some of us fall into misanthropy? And even if they dream of stopping hating humanity, they cannot do it. Why do we hate each other and what to do?
The human psyche is structured according to the principle of pleasure. We experience certain desires. They depend on the set of vectors. And if these desires and plans come true, we feel joy, pleasure, and upliftment. And then the following desires arise, of a greater order. But when people’s desires are not realized or fulfilled for a long time, frustration and a difficult condition arise .
And through this state we see the world around us.
Trespassing
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The third reason for incomprehensible hostility is our own inability to defend our boundaries.
For example, they tell you: “Come with me” or: “Come and visit me today.” Or (boss): “Stay today and work overtime!”
The person agrees, comes, stays to work, and then begins to experience great irritation with the one he listened to, because he believes that he was forced.
But instead of admitting that he himself does not know how to say “no,” he transfers this irritation to his tormentor. And he begins to get annoyed because he was forced, but in fact he did not want to.
It seems stupid to be offended by the person who invited you - he didn’t drag it by force; You also don’t want to be angry with yourself for agreeing – that’s what results in such deep hostility and a desire to avoid a person to whom you cannot say “no.” As a result, both the tormentor himself, who suppresses you (which he himself, however, does not even know about), and all his manifestations become unpleasant.
And this is natural, because our borders are our security, and anyone who, in our opinion, breaks through them seems to us an invader. Therefore, it is important to protect and defend borders! Otherwise, you will continue to be surrounded by “invaders”, rapists, and they will not understand what they have done wrong to you: they simply offered, and you simply agreed.
I want it, but I don't get it
Using examples from life you can see how this works. A person who strives for warm, sincere emotional connections with others experiences suffering if he constantly encounters indifference or ridicule. He wants to love and be loved - but in a couple relationship he experiences mental pain. Over time, any attempt to get closer to someone in advance causes underlying fear, a desire to protect oneself from experiences.
A person striving for fidelity and honesty, for reliable and stable relationships, experiences deep suffering from betrayal, betrayal of a partner, lies and duplicity of others. Resentment arises, distrust of all people, a tendency to generalize one’s bad experiences and see the catch in everything.
Any person feels emptiness and frustration in the psyche as tension, a difficult state. And people today massively dump it on each other in order to experience at least temporary relief.
They verbally sadistize, “tease” (and some even assault). Fearing deep down deep connections, they go through partners for one night and make full use of “disposable” friends.
The hardest part is for the sound engineer. His desires are of an intangible order: not to pick it up, not to put it in his pocket, not to smell it, not to touch it. I want a meaningful life - to understand why you live, what is the meaning of what is happening. I would like to see the world and people differently: humane, living as something more than just a full feeding trough.
And the sound artist’s frustrations are the deepest. When he does not find a way to comprehend this life, a way to make it suitable for a normal perception of the world, he experiences the most difficult conditions of all. This is deep black depression (sometimes even to the point of mental disorders), sleep disorders, suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts. And Hatred with a capital H for the whole world - disgusting, vile, rotten to the core.
Fighting boredom
For many, the reluctance to work arises only in relation to routine work, and everything else does not cause any disgust. By the way, routine can also be dangerous for your health. Scientists have found that work that does not require responsibility, frequent decision-making and tends to be monotonous shortens life. It turned out that those people whose work had low demands died 35% more often - a pattern that was observed for 10 years after retirement.
As the author of the study noted, passive work forces a person to constantly struggle with inattention and drowsiness, which leads to serious stress. However, you will still have to do this work, so try to create your own reward system. For example, treat yourself to a bar of chocolate or an “unscheduled” smoke break after completing a tedious task.
Another way to overcome your dislike of routine work is to bring something new into it. For example, arrange a secret competition with your colleagues and try to complete your part of the work the fastest. Firstly, it will help you not to get bored, and, secondly, this way you will deal with an unpleasant matter much faster.
An incident from private life
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There was such a story with me.
In the parish where I worked as a psychologist, there was one lady who believed that psychology was one evil. And this lady was constantly secretly competing with me.
All the time she hurt me and provoked me. I just couldn't see her.
At some point I said: “I can’t do it anymore. I just can't stand her. I see her and I’m shaking.” What to do? I began to figure it out and ask myself questions: “What exactly bothers you about her? Competitiveness, okay, but aren’t you competitive yourself? And you can’t bear for someone to dare to be better than you. And you want to be in first place, to be the best, to be loved and praised by everyone. Don't her qualities have anything to do with you? Yes, you are just like her! You’re just younger and know how to behave better, so you win.”
Right at that moment I felt better. I laughed so hard: “Well, why are you attached to this aunt? I’m the same.”
The task is not to kill yourself for this and not to say: “Oh, how terrible you are!” And somehow treat it with humor and say: “Okay, let’s think about what we can do about it.”
Just by admitting it, of course, I won’t stop being, for example, a competitive person, but at least my irritation has disappeared. I didn't love her, but at least I stopped hating her. I accepted that I had this in me and calmed down about it.
Causes
Misanthropy is a disease that does not arise out of nowhere. Certain factors contribute to the accumulation of negativity and the formation of unpleasant attitudes. It will take a lot of mental effort to cope with the consequences. Hatred towards people is often a reflection of an incorrect lifestyle, the result of some unfavorable events. It would seem, where does hatred of people come from despite outward prosperity? They need to be understood in detail in order to notice the origins of the formation of obvious disadvantage. Sometimes people don't want to admit to themselves that difficulties exist. Such a game easily turns into self-deception, since the individual feeds his pride and does not want to concentrate on solving everyday problems.
Childhood trauma
When family relationships do not work out, a person often withdraws into himself. Strict parents sometimes cause significant emotional wounds, sometimes without even knowing it. The child is left alone with his sorrows. He gradually gets used to the fact that at the right moment no one will take pity on him, caress him, or say a kind word. The result is severe disappointment in people. It seems that since those closest to you deceive and betray, then in principle you can’t trust anyone. In this approach, a person seeks complacency and justifies his own inaction. Childhood traumas can live in the soul for a long time, poisoning life. Sometimes we are not even aware of them, because we are too busy with worries and selfish views. But how much we don’t notice! As a result, life is wasted, without joys, emotions and everyday good impressions.
Excessive sensitivity
There are people who are naturally hypersensitive. They often find themselves deeply impressed by the most everyday events. Excessive sensitivity affects how a person builds relationships and communicates with relatives and colleagues. One careless word can make a huge impression, contribute to increasing tension and the growth of conflict. That’s why one can read wariness in one’s gaze, and one can see aloofness in one’s behavior. Closeness in interaction is reflected in other areas of life: personal life does not work out, problems arise at work, numerous fears and psychological barriers arise. Coping with all this is quite difficult, especially when you don’t fully understand what exactly is happening.
Miseducation
If parents pay little attention to the child’s personal development, then he develops a feeling of personal insecurity. It seems that the world is cruel and unfair to the extreme. The result is wariness, detachment and reluctance to engage in conversation. When people focus too much on negative experiences, they end up getting nothing done. They lose the necessary supply of energy and stop believing in their own prospects. As a response, isolation, unsociability, and complete reluctance to engage in normal everyday life arise.
Developed intelligence
The smarter a person is, the more critical thinking he develops. Psychologists note this pattern. The ability to notice the shortcomings of others comes to the fore. An attack of misanthropy can happen suddenly and confuse you, depriving you of significant prospects. Developed intelligence manifests itself in the need to criticize, analyze and question every individual action. There is also a danger that a person begins to be proud of the education he has received, the things he has acquired, the fact that he knows several foreign languages and reads philosophical literature freely.
Dissatisfaction with your life
If you fail to achieve something significant in life, then a feeling of disappointment comes. It seems that nothing good will happen anymore, since external events are not encouraging anyway. Dissatisfaction with life is a good reason to withdraw into yourself and stop paying attention to how the people around you behave. Experiencing deep disappointment, a person often discovers a need to withdraw and stop reacting to events in the outside world. It often occurs to people to start blaming other people for their own failures. This happens instinctively, because there is no other way to act despite the prevailing circumstances.
Soul emptiness
Emotional problems greatly affect the ability to empathize. Spiritual emptiness leads to limited perception. A person withdraws from the everyday bustle and stops all communication with people. If someone turns to him with a request or advice, it only causes irritation. There is no incentive for action, there are no skills for social interaction. When a feeling of hopelessness gnaws at you, the need arises to run far away and never face aggravating conditions.
Forgotten problem
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And finally, the fourth reason for “instinctive hostility” is some kind of repressed trauma.
It happens that a person cannot stand a certain type of people. For example, tall and thin. He cannot stand them to such an extent that he cannot even touch them without disgust - it’s the same as touching an insect. Such things may be tied to some repressed childhood traumas. Maybe an adult, tall, thin uncle approached a little girl at the age of three and scared her with something. In the unconscious part of the psyche, fear remains and is consolidated. Then a person grows up and no longer remembers, but this suppressed, forgotten, repressed, associated with some kind of trauma or unpleasant situation, develops into such hostility.
This can happen not only in childhood, but in adulthood something happens to us, and the psyche works in such a way that we forget it.
If it is very unpleasant, then we convince ourselves that it did not happen.
Nevertheless, the image that traumatized us remains, and we will feel hostility towards it, without understanding why we feel this.
