Most of our illnesses are due to anxiety, worry and stress. The more and more often a person worries, the higher the likelihood that he will get sick.
I myself have felt this myself more than once.
At one period of my life, when there were many drastic changes (a new city, new people, new training and work), I became very ill and lost 15+ kg. I was given a chronic diagnosis that I lived with for about a year. When I got tired of this, I began to study the issue deeper and work on myself, on my thinking. As a result, this disease is no longer inside me, even though the doctors said that it was already chronic. But the point is that it appeared due to severe stress and unrest inside. And this may be the case for you too, think about it, because everything can be fixed very quickly and easily (Methods are described in this post).
Rule 6 - Learn to control your thoughts
“Our life is what we think about it,” Marcus Aurelius.
Indeed, if a person has happy thoughts, he will be happy. If your thoughts are full of fear, you will be afraid of everything. If you think about failure, then nothing will really happen.
You need to be able to be aware of your problems, but this does not mean that you should worry about them.
Awareness means being aware of the existence of a problem and calmly meeting it halfway. To worry means to circle around this problem like crazy.
See life's adversities as part of a larger game - useful practices that a person must undergo if he wants to reach the top.
Concentrate on the present moment. Be “Here” and “Now”
An overly developed imagination and thoughts about how the situation might turn out in the future give rise to the greatest worries and anxieties. If you obsess over this and constantly come up with negative scenarios for the development of the situation, this will not lead to anything good. It’s even worse if you remember some similar negative situation from the past and project it onto current events.
If you spend too much time and energy imagining the future in such negative terms or constantly tormenting yourself with painful memories of the past, this further weakens your nervous system.
If you want to worry less, concentrate on the current moment! To do this, use the following tips:
1. Think about today. At the beginning of the day, or whenever worries begin to cloud your mind, sit down for a moment and stop. Breathe. Narrow your focus significantly. Don't look ahead, as you will see goals to achieve and will begin to worry even more. Just focus on the current day. Nothing more. “Tomorrow” is not going anywhere.
2. Talk about what you are doing now. For example: “I’m brushing my teeth now.” It is very easy to travel back to the past and future. And this phrase will quickly bring you back to the present moment.
Ask yourself, how many times have your negative predictions for the future gone wrong?
Many things you fear will never happen to you. They are just monsters living in your head. And even if something you fear actually happens, most likely it won’t be as bad as you pictured it to be. Worrying is often a waste of time.
Of course, this is easier said than done. But if you ask yourself the question of how much of what you were worried about actually happened in your life, then you will definitely be let go.
Strengthen your self-confidence
How to stop being afraid of everything? Cognitive psychologist Albert Bandura argues that you can protect yourself from anxiety by making sure you are competent and able to cope with difficulties.
Draw confidence from your own experience: remember your successes and the pleasures associated with them, keep a success diary and re-read it regularly. Think about people you admire and whose success motivates you.
No. 1. Feel the support
What most people call “nervous” is called anxiety among professionals. It is characterized by anxiety of varying severity, ranging from simple excitement to panic attacks, physical signs - rapid breathing, hand tremors, various tics, dizziness, abdominal discomfort. We perceive this state as our own vulnerability, so various defense mechanisms are activated in the body. We are ready to respond rudely, shout, leave, loudly slam the door, etc. Everything irritates us very much.
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At such moments, it is important to physically feel support. What does this mean: for example, you are traveling in public transport - sit comfortably (if possible), lean on the back of the seat or on the wall, etc. When you are at home (in the office), you can take off your heels and just put your feet on the floor to feel stable. Breathing should be deeper and slower. All this will help you calm down a little.
No. 2. Taking a break
If the environment in the room itself causes discomfort, find any appropriate reason to leave. For example, say that you need to make an important call. You need to go out, breathe some air, drink water, think about how to answer some questions and solve the problems facing you. You can try to switch your attention to various pleasant objects, i.e. what gives you pleasure evokes positive emotions. Imagine a loved one, a vacation, the sea, etc.
A pause is needed to calm down. If you're in the same room with a yelling boss all the time, you don't have the opportunity to ask him to shut up. But you can take a break, come to your senses and return to the office in a normal state. Alas, we almost never can remove the factors that cause stress in real life, but we can make sure that the situation does not get out of control.
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You're trying to stop thinking
You may have heard of thought stop therapy, which involves getting rid of negative or unwanted thoughts by suppressing them. The gist of it is this. Every time you worry that you'll lose all your money in the stock market, you have to force yourself to stop thinking about it, slap yourself on the wrist with a rubber band, or mentally yell to yourself, "Stop!"
This is supposed to reduce your nervousness. Unfortunately, this method not only does not work, but it leads to “thought ricochet” and only worsens the situation in the long run.
Let's check the stop thought. Close your eyes and relax. Imagine a clear image of a polar bear - cute and fluffy. Now that you have a vivid picture in your head, I want you to stop thinking about polar bears for the next ten minutes. No matter what you do, don't think about any polar bears. Psychologists have long noticed that attempts to suppress certain thoughts lead to their resumption or even intensification.
Imagine the worst case scenario
Play out the worst-case scenarios for a conversation with another person in your head. What's the worst thing that could happen? Will your interlocutor think badly of you and not want to continue the conversation? Then think about how qualitatively this can affect your life. Most likely, this will not turn your life upside down, or force you to change jobs or move to another city. In this case, you shouldn’t attach much importance to it, and your interlocutor won’t even remember about the unsuccessful conversation the next day.
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Are you looking for confirmation?
You worry that you don’t look good enough and you endlessly ask your partner, “Do you think I’m okay?”
It seems to you that painful sensations in the chest are the first symptom of cancer, and you often visit doctors to find out: “Will I live?” Or maybe you're nervous about a guy you met at a party. “He was yawning, was he bored with me?” - you ask your friend. The problem is that confirmation alone is not enough. You will look for them again and again, trying to get more guarantees in order to reduce your anxiety and uncertainty, at least for the next couple of minutes. But no confirmation helps, because you will soon begin to doubt the confirmation itself.
Perhaps your friend is just supporting you, saying that you look good, but in reality she thinks differently. Or the doctor cannot say with certainty whether it is cancer without doing certain tests. By doing this, you are trying to get assurances instead of learning to live with uncertainty, which is a very important element in the fight against anxiety.
No. 6. Putting things in order
It is more difficult for a person to concentrate when he has several objects in his hands. The same thing happens when there are mountains of incomprehensible garbage, papers and some other things on your desktop. This confirms the chaos in your life and increases your anxiety. Put things in order. It is better if you are surrounded by as much free space as possible.
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How to Stop Worrying and Start Living: Tips for Coping
Now it has become an axiom that all thoughts are material, therefore, for the most part, we and our lives are what we think. And, if a person has already wondered how to change the current situation, then he is on the right track.
Enabling self-monitoring
Except in cases where anxiety is a mental problem (this is already a manifestation of various degrees of nervousness), you can cope with the constant feeling of anxiety and restlessness on your own.
Basic principles of working with this condition:
- Switching the object of attention from the process to the projection of a specific result (followed by an analysis of the possible outcome of events and all the pros and cons).
- Calculating different options for the outcome of events.
- Concentration on yourself in the present (What am I thinking? Feeling? Am I sensing?)
- Ban on feelings of guilt, redistribution of forces to work on mistakes.
- Distinguishing between yourself and your mistakes (not “I’m bad”, but “the situation didn’t work out in the best way”).
- Helping others: volunteer work, transfer of knowledge, exchange of experience - any creative work.
- Using positive thought forms and word forms: sincere self-praise.
- Drawing up a step-by-step plan to solve each specific problem.
- Transition to a physically active lifestyle.
- Listening to classical or meditative music.
Psychologist's recommendations:
- Voice every decision you make, share it with others, and then there will be no room for retreat - you will have to carry out what you have declared.
- Do not allow destructive emotions and conditions to destroy your life. As simple as it sounds, most of what happens in a person's life really depends on how he feels about it. Let anxiety become only a motivator for new achievements and searches.
- Show perseverance and endurance, do not let the negativity of the outside world turn your life into existence.
- Stop worrying about trifles and start living happily!
I'm worse than those I look up to
This is the most “fair” fear of all. He talks about our adequate self-criticism: we really may not be at the level of people we consider experts, especially if we have recently started the journey.
To get rid of fear, we need to understand in what ways we are superior to teachers: we know more modern methods, we have experience in another area that can be applied here.
In the end, our positioning in front of the client should correspond to our experience, skills and knowledge - this is always more comfortable.
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Act (behavioral strategies)
Stop avoiding what scares you . Anxiety and avoidance are closely related: the more we avoid certain tasks and situations, the more anxious we become and vice versa. You can break this cycle by developing the habit of confronting what's bothering you instead of avoiding and procrastinating. Start with easy wins—small tasks you've been putting off—and gradually work your way up to more challenging ones.
Take care of your physical needs . Our physical state can directly influence our feelings of anxiety. In turn, anxiety often affects our physical health through sleep disturbances, poor diet, or inconsistent exercise. Look for feasible ways to take care of yourself regularly. For example, add one weekly workout or focus on a more nutritious diet. Please note that physical well-being directly affects your mental and emotional state.
