How many times in your life have you said this phrase to yourself, thought about complexes, got angry that you couldn’t accept yourself?
Most women walk past store windows, compare themselves to advertising beauties, try on a new dress and convince themselves that they look terrible. And the older they get, the more often they experience disappointment about their appearance. This position is related to the attitude towards oneself and with some persistence it can be changed. Read how to love your appearance and put the advice into practice.
In this article:
Why you can’t accept yourself9 tips on how to get rid of complexes Treat yourself equally in any situation
I'm scary and I don't like myself
I consider myself ugly, what should I do?
Once Coco Chanel, who is now considered a style icon, Fr. Even in those days, there were many ways to highlight your best sides and de-emphasize your shortcomings. Nowadays, the fair sex has many opportunities to improve their appearance.
Realize that if you are ugly, it is your choice. Do you want to receive more compliments and love your reflection in the mirror? So we need to act! Determine what features you are dissatisfied with, make a plan with points in which you describe how you can correct this or that problem. Now that you have this plan in place, get to work!
Complexes or imperfect appearance
In fact, your lack of confidence in your own appearance may just be a complex that someone once instilled in you. They pointed out some “flaw” to you and you believed it.
Many of your “imperfections” that you are embarrassed about may not be noticed at all by people or not considered as such. Such self-doubt indicates low self-esteem, and a visit to a psychologist can normalize the situation.
Probably, many have heard stories about stars who, having a beautiful appearance, were dissatisfied with themselves or had complexes about their fading youth, going under the knife of a plastic surgeon. As a result, the appearance, which seemed standard to millions of people, was simply ruined. Such celebrities include Renee Zellweger, Lara Flynn Boyle, Melanie Griffith, Meg Ryan and many others. Surely, these women decided to undergo surgery, ceasing to consider themselves beautiful. Look at the photos of these actresses before plastic surgery, and see that their claims to themselves were very far-fetched.
Conforming to imposed ideals is absurd
Ideals, as a rule, are generated by society: news feeds, magazine covers and newfangled films.
Moreover, the trick was picked up instantly: before Emma Watson had time to post new photos, a crowd of fans ran to get the same haircut; before the blogger had time to publish a video with the stages of growing a fashionable beard, the guys immediately stopped shaving - regardless of whether luxurious growth suits them or No. I see a beard, but I don’t see a philosopher
(lat. Barbam video, sed philosophum non video).
Latin aphorism
And we believe that following the currents will make us cooler and raise us in the eyes of others. Of course, the assessment of friends and subscribers is important. Then we look in the mirror and think: yes, I'm cool, damn it. It’s a pity that as we become more modern, we begin to look down on others. And many, whose self-esteem is in a state of swing, immediately fall into depression: they say, I don’t fit into the new framework.
How to understand that you are a beautiful girl
One of the main criteria in this matter is the compliments of others. If people periodically note the advantages of your appearance, then apparently you are really beautiful.
There are simply no specific beauty templates. The ideal changes every decade, and every culture has completely different ideas about female beauty.
However, note that beauty does not always translate into charisma, charm, sexuality or intelligence. It’s great if you have undeniable external and internal advantages, but if you are deprived of physical beauty, you can be no less successful in all areas of life than written beauties.
Surely, you have often heard stories about how men leave their beautiful wives for seemingly completely inconspicuous people. Many people ask the question: “What did he find in her?”, but when you watch such women in person, everything becomes obvious - they are so charming, smart, sexy and attractive that external “ordinariness” ceases to be so.
And this effect happens quite often. You may hear about some woman that he is very beautiful, but when you see her at the first second, you don’t understand everyone’s admiration. Once you start observing such a woman, you suddenly also begin to notice her beauty. It's all about charm - you're not born with it, but actively develop it.
How to love yourself if I'm fat
If excess weight really upsets you, then there is only one way out - to get rid of it. You may think that you are already doing everything possible, but the hated kilograms remain in place. This means that this is not true and you are not doing your best, in other words, you are not trying hard enough.
Girls who cannot lose weight are either not motivated enough or have health problems. To exclude the second option, get examined by an endocrinologist, nutritionist, or gastroenterologist.
Set yourself a deadline within which you need to lose weight. For example, you can read stories of girls who got rid of personal weight. There are many groups in this area on VK, where you can see the “Before” and “After” results, and make sure that with the right degree of desire and perseverance, you can also achieve the desired forms.
What should I do if I have an ugly face (long nose, bad skin, small breasts)
Many believe that at least 50 percent of beauty consists of other qualities - not the nose or breasts. If you have well-groomed hair, clear skin, healthy teeth and a slim body, then you can at least be considered a pretty girl or woman. All of these points are quite achievable if you really want it.
There are several large sites on the Internet where girls leave detailed reviews with photographs about how they managed to grow their hair or bring it to its ideal condition. There you will also find information about skin care, sports activities and healthy diets.
There is also a lot of information on the Internet on how to visually smooth out certain imperfections.
Plastic surgery is the solution
If this is not enough for you, and some part of the body or face is seriously poisoning your life, it seems that it is time to think about surgical intervention. Many women, for example, having undergone rhinoplasty, admit that they really regret that they did not take this step earlier. Contact a specialist and find out his opinion - is surgery really necessary for you?
Consider possible risks. If plastic surgery is your only option, then choose your clinic carefully. Look for real reviews, try to get in touch with the institution’s clients through a social network, asking them about all the “pitfalls” of the operation. Often, such interventions are not cheap, and if you do not have the required amount, then this is not a reason to be upset. Many clinics perform the operation on credit, “splitting” the payment into several payments.
I don't like my height - I'm too tall or short
Whatever your height, look for the positives in it. Tall and short stature are good in their own way. Tall girls often envy their miniature friends, and they, on the contrary, are dissatisfied with their diminutiveness, dreaming of adding more than a dozen centimeters to their height.
To make it easier to gain self-confidence, find information about celebrities who are about the same height as you. They often look great and don't seem to have any self-esteem problems at all. See what these stars wear, what style and hairstyles they prefer, and try to get closer to these canons.
To love or not to love... that is the question!
I completely share the point of view that the better a person feels about himself, the more likely he is to become successful and achieve his goals. A good attitude towards yourself increases the likelihood of achieving heights, for example, in the professional sphere. Loving yourself means being in harmony with yourself and the world around you, feeling confident and attractive, respecting yourself and your desires, and carrying a positive charge that is felt by the people around you.
Dissatisfaction with oneself deprives a person of the ability to enjoy life, often leads to low mood or even causes depression. A person who does not love himself cannot love someone else, so a common problem for such people is loneliness, the inability to build productive relationships with others, and lack of friends. Self-dislike is often associated with low self-esteem, which is fraught with dissatisfaction with oneself, one's appearance, lack of self-confidence, constant tension and a feeling of one's own worthlessness.
How to live as an ugly woman
What to do to love yourself
Realize that there is no other you in the world and that’s great! Perhaps your appearance really does have some shortcomings, but why did you decide that they deserve more attention than your advantages?
Pay attention to your strengths, highlight them, and focus on them. Behave confidently, and this will have a positive effect on the attitude of others. Probably, many girls have noticed this phenomenon: a girl who is ugly in your opinion behaves confidently and even a little defiantly, and at the same time she has a wonderful personal life, and many fans seek her attention. Self-confidence sometimes attracts much more than external beauty.
Tricks of makeup and transformation using clothes
There are many videos on the Internet that clearly demonstrate how even the most homely person can turn into a model from the cover of a magazine after applying makeup correctly. Now there are many techniques, affordable cosmetic products and salon treatments that can significantly change your appearance for the better. Watch some video tutorials and you will see that these skills are not difficult to master!
Clothing, like makeup, is designed not only to hide nudity from others and to escape the cold, but also to draw attention to your winning sides, highlight your skin tone, visually enhance hair color, add or hide volumes in the right areas. places and the like.
Determine your color type using numerous tables on the Internet and read which shades will suit you. It is quite possible that previously, for some reason, you avoided, for example, the color pink, without even suspecting that combinations with it were most suitable for you.
The main desire!
As soon as you decide to change your attitude towards yourself and love yourself, the process of change will be launched. However, this is not an easy job, and you need to understand that it takes some time. You won’t be able to fall in love with yourself instantly with the wave of a magic wand. Making adjustments to your outer appearance is quick and easy, but truly accepting and loving your inner world can be very difficult. The process of accepting yourself takes time, but how much depends only on your desire and your readiness for change. So where to start?
Take care of your appearance
Let's start with what, in my opinion, is the easiest to change and transform - your appearance. Very often, dissatisfaction with oneself is strongly connected with dissatisfaction with one's own appearance. Moreover, these can be both real problems and imaginary ones. Many defects in appearance can be easily corrected by the correct choice of clothing that suits your figure, the use of cosmetics, etc. It is important to always take care of your appearance - you do not have to be dressed in the latest fashion in trendy things. The main thing is that these are clothes that you like and add confidence to yourself, and that your overall appearance is neat and well-groomed. Take an extra 10 minutes to iron your clothes, do your hair, apply makeup, and put your shoes in order before leaving the house. Use perfume, choose a pleasant aroma that will inspire you. Don’t neglect accessories: a beautiful watch or a comfortable handbag will once again evoke positive emotions in you, uplifting your mood and adding self-confidence.
The main causes of self-doubt
Causes of self-doubt:
- Anxiety. In most cases this happens in an unfamiliar environment. Most often, this is encountered by people who rarely speak in public, but are sometimes forced to do so. It is normal to experience anxiety, embarrassment and fear.
- Negative experience. Very often, the cause of self-doubt is various life situations that make up life experiences. Most likely, such people were underestimated in their work activities, the young man was offended.
- Perfectionism. These are people who want to be the best at everything. Most often these are individuals with excellent student syndrome. These are people who were raised by demanding parents, constantly raising the bar. Children were praised only after receiving good grades, so they are forced to try to be the best in life. Despite their apparent confidence, they are very weak inside.
How to love yourself
Is self-love selfish?
Self-love is not selfishness, not self-centeredness. This is acceptance of your personality with all its advantages and disadvantages. Self-love is no different from sincere love for another. Here's how the great psychologist Erich Fromm wrote about it: “If an individual is capable of fruitful love, he also loves himself; if he is capable of loving only others, he is incapable of loving at all.”
An egoist is focused only on the benefits that he can receive; he does not think about the interests of others. A person who loves himself loves the “Human” in himself. He is focused on developing his positive qualities, on unlocking his potential and self-improvement, on how to increase his self-esteem and the quality of life of himself and his loved ones.
Make yourself feel good
Straighten your back and take a deep breath. Now write a list of what you really want. Start with the little things. For example, a new mug or beautiful breakfasts. Both don't cost much, but will make you look at yourself differently.
You will understand that you are worthy of everything you dream of right now, and you will never suddenly lose weight or wear a floor-length skirt to become more feminine.
You can please yourself right now. No reason, just like that. And when this realization comes, you will feel more and more confident. It is impossible to start changing until you accept yourself as you are, and only you can do this.
Posture Exercises
Posture exercises can be fun and interesting, and you can do them without disturbing the rhythm of your usual life:
- You need to place a book in hard polish on your head and try to hold it in this position for several minutes. You can make the exercises more difficult by increasing the number of books and diversifying actions with books on your head.
- While walking, you need to imagine that an invisible thread is pulling the top of your head up and the shoulder girdle back. Next, you need to continue moving in this body position.
- In a standing position, you need to spread your arms to the sides as much as possible, trying to close your shoulder blades as much as possible, and then return to the starting position.
- Exercises on the bar with outstretched arms. This position relieves tension from the muscles and allows the spine to straighten.
- Every time you take a sitting position, you must take the correct body position. The tailbone and shoulder blades should be in contact with the back of the chair, while the back should remain straight.
Does food affect our state of mind?
Food is not a small thing at all.
Food determines how we feel, how much energy we have, and even what emotions we experience. Each product has one of three effects: stimulating, harmonizing or dulling. If we drink coffee and eat a fast carbohydrate, a croissant, for example, we will get a big surge of energy in the first 30-60 minutes, and then a decline that will last several hours. If we eat stale food, it will be difficult for the mind to concentrate. And if you eat a handful of berries, half an hour later - vegetables or buckwheat porridge with nuts, you will have a surge of energy and clarity of mind.
An experiment was conducted in the USA. They forbade couples to sort things out on an empty stomach or immediately after fast food. And the number of conflicts in this group decreased by half. Therefore, yes: all these burgers and pies can bring us quick taste pleasure, and then - loss of strength and irritation.
