The importance of nonverbal communication and how to read it

16.11.2021

Author: Academy-of-capital.ru

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From this material you will learn:

• Difference between verbal and nonverbal communication
• Conscious and unconscious nonverbal communication
• The Importance of Conscious Nonverbal Communication
• 5 Functions of Nonverbal Communication
• Main types of nonverbal communication
• Features of interpretation of non-verbal signals
• Tips for developing nonverbal communication skills

There are various types of nonverbal communication: from certain gestures to touch, from a person’s gaze to his spatial position or even just appearance. And each of these signals carries certain information; it is only important to interpret it correctly.

But this does not always work out. While some gestures are quite unambiguous, others may not be entirely clear to a participant in a dialogue who does not understand body language very well. But in the case when a person is well versed in the topic, many interlocutors are like an open book to him. And this state of affairs greatly facilitates communication.

Means of nonverbal communication

The main means of such communication is the body, which is capable of transmitting information through facial expressions, gestures, pantomime, changing position in space and the mise-en-scène of communication.

Due to the diversity and richness of facial capabilities, our body is capable of transmitting a huge number of images, becoming a powerful tool for conveying the necessary information to people around us.

It’s very easy to check this: just try to watch a movie in a foreign language that you don’t speak, and you will be surprised to note that you understand, if not the very essence of the characters’ conversations, then the message, the emotions that they put into the conversation, and even main idea and plot.

This is due to the fact that, in conditions of semantic deficit arising from ignorance of the language, we subconsciously monitor facial expressions, micro-gestures more closely than usual, and read the plot and emotional components from the movements and tone of voice of the characters.

Language

Saying that we speak one language, for example, Russian, we little think about the fact that we actually know two languages: not only language as a means of verbal communication, but also body language - a universal complex of postures and movements with the help of which Representatives of different nationalities, cultures and races can communicate.

Unlike dictionary language, to master which you need to study the alphabet, phonetics, grammar and other components, sign language is unique: using obvious mental images and concepts, we can establish communication with both Amazonian Indians and Eskimos.

Of course, this communication will be simple, at the level of basic concepts, but without the use of means of non-verbal communication, through the use of words alone, we will not achieve anything at all - our language will be incomprehensible to our interlocutors, while pointing a finger at a subject of interest is universal and will help establish initial contact .

Visual contact gaze

Eye contact is an undeniably important communication process. As you already know, a person receives about 80% of impressions from all senses through vision. With the help of the eyes, we can convey a wide variety of expressions; thanks to them, we can control the course of the conversation and provide feedback on human behavior. The gaze helps in the exchange of remarks, since most statements without the participation of the eyes would be meaningless.

Remember how urgently interlocutors on the Internet need a variety of emoticons, which are a replacement for such means of non-verbal communication as the exchange of glances and facial expressions. After all, without seeing each other, it is much more difficult to convey the feelings experienced. Developers of instant messaging programs, improving their software characteristics, are trying to include and expand the function of eye expression, general facial expressions and various hand gestures. And, as practice shows, the demand for such programs like ICQ is very high. People crave meaningful communication on the Internet. And the emergence of the video calling function in cell phones and the installation of video equipment on the computer, which allows you to communicate interactively, contemplating each other, is precisely the answer to the need for live communication at a remote distance.

The gaze also takes part in the expression of intimacy and frankness. With it, you can set the degree of proximity to a person.

In communication, the gaze, as a rule, carries out an information search, for example, the listener looks at the speaker, and if he pauses, silently awaits continuation without breaking eye contact; gives a signal about a free communication channel, for example, the speaker indicates with an eye sign that the conversation is over; helps establish and maintain social relationships when we seek a person's gaze to engage in conversation.

In psychology, there are several types of looks, each of which carries very significant information about a person’s thoughts: 1. Business look - when we look at the forehead and eyes of the interlocutor. We often behave this way when meeting unfamiliar people, managers and bosses. 2. Social gaze – when we direct our eyes to the area of ​​a person’s face in the area of ​​the mouth, nose and eyes. It is typical in situations of casual communication with friends and acquaintances. 3. Intimate gaze - passes through the line of the interlocutor’s eyes and drops to a level below the chin, neck and other parts of the body. There may be dilation of the pupils, as an anticipation of pleasure.

We have already mentioned the fact that it is more difficult for men to deceive their wives and girlfriends, since women can expose a lie much faster by reading their eyes. How do they do this? First of all, by characteristic changes in the eyes due to contraction of the eye muscles. When trying to deceive, it is difficult for a person to withstand the gaze; he blinks and looks away. These signs may also be present with sadness, shame, and disgust. If he experiences suffering, tears flow from his eyes, but they also appear with laughter and joy. In any case, to correctly interpret nonverbal gestures, we take into account the surrounding environment and the context of circumstances. One thing is definitely certain: the dilation or constriction of the pupils, which occurs as a response to excitement, occurs involuntarily, without taking into account consciousness, and the autonomic nervous system is involved in this. If the direction of gaze can still be controlled somehow, then changing the pupils is beyond our control. When we talk about a person: “he has expressive eyes”, “she has an evil look”, “she cast the evil eye on me”, we mean precisely the information obtained through non-verbal communication when observing a person’s pupils. Children abandoned by their parents have a dry, distant look, filled with the pain of loneliness, which gives them an adult expression. On the contrary, loved and caressed babies look at the world completely differently.

The length of the gaze may indicate the degree of interest. A close, persistent person will tell you about his intention to extract some information from you or force you to obey. For couples in love, such a look serves as a signal to begin active courtship. If you look closely at a sleeping person, he may subconsciously experience anxiety and even wake up. It is interesting that in the animal world, a gaze serves as a signal for an impending attack, so it is not surprising when, sensing a similar signal from an unfamiliar person, you experience anxiety and a desire to hide. With peripheral (lateral) vision, we are able to see objects and the situation around us and analyze the degree of danger. Serial killers and maniacs have a very different view from the view of an ordinary person. All previous behavior of a person up to a given point in time, the situations that he solves and the methods he uses to eliminate problems - everything leaves an imprint on the expression of his eyes. A tired mother after a sleepless night with a baby, a pensioner living on crumbs, a student who did not receive the scholarship he was counting on - everyone has a peculiar expression in their eyes. If, for example, you are in close relationships with such people, you will definitely understand the reason for this look.

Nonverbal signals as the only means of communication

The importance of non-verbal communication cannot be overestimated - it remains the only means of exchanging information in cases where:

• people do not know each other's language even at a basic level;
• people do not have the physical ability to make sounds.

If in the first case it is subsequently possible to establish a higher level of communication through the gradual study of each other’s languages, then in the second, various types of non-verbal communication come to the fore and become the only possible means of contact.

For people with speech disabilities and hearing loss, sign language is the only language they can use, and their fingers become their vocal cords and their gestures become their words.

In situations where people who are physically capable of producing sounds find themselves in an environment that does not allow them to pronounce these sounds, it is the tools of nonverbal communication that come to the fore. These signals are used in scuba diving (dive signals), in noisy rooms (rolling shops, engine rooms), while hunting, and when participating in hostilities (ambushes).

The history of the emergence of nonverbal means of communication

Nonverbal behavior as a set of gestural and figurative expressions through the body arose at the dawn of humanity, when language as a means of communication had not yet been invented, and communication between individual representatives of the tribe was carried out precisely through nonverbal behavior.

It was possible to convey information through primitive gestures, and non-verbal means of communication coped with the task that ancient people needed to solve perfectly. They pointed to prey and fellow tribesmen with their hands, depicted simple phenomena - rain, thunderstorms, mimicked anger, threatened, grinning and baring their teeth.

An excellent example of primitive nonverbal behavior is the communication of dogs. Dogs almost never bark when meeting - they communicate by changing their gait, posture, level of tail movement, grinning or lowering their ears, and the information they receive is enough for them to correctly assess the situation and the status of their interlocutor.

Conscious and unconscious use of body signals

Nonverbal means of communication can be divided into two types based on the consciousness of use:

• nonverbal communication that we use consciously is those facial and gestural means that we use deliberately, that is, the tools we use to clearly convey specific information to the addressee;
• involuntary nonverbal behavior is those postures, gestures and changes in body position, as well as microgestures that we use unconsciously, uncontrollably. A specialist who knows how to read the signs of involuntary nonverbal behavior can tell more than the words we say.

Consciously used such means of communication provide a large layer of gestural, plastic and facial capabilities. Actors most clearly demonstrate this type of non-verbal communication tools: when playing a role, they use gestures and facial expressions to bring the image to perfection and give credibility to the game. The tools of good actors are very rich; they are able to remember and apply hundreds of different small poses, glances, turns of the head, which add variability to the words they use for the role.

Microexpressions and involuntary nonverbal cues

Involuntary nonverbal behavior is those contractions of the muscles of the body and face that a person is unable to control.

Consciously telling a lie, trying to hide feelings, a person is nevertheless unable to control the so-called micro-expressions flashing on the face. These are tools of non-verbal behavior that help a specialist psychologist or simply a very observant interlocutor to recognize deception, an attempt to hide information or emotions, since it is impossible to consciously keep muscles from contracting such muscles.

Representatives of certain professions, for which the ability to recognize deception is very important, are taught this ability, or they look for people who are initially predisposed to reading microexpressions. Thus, the ability to detect a lie is extremely important for customs officials, security services, and investigators.

To correctly recognize facial microexpressions, it is important to remember that facial expressions do not express the subject’s thoughts, but feelings, and if disgust flashes on the face for a moment, this does not mean that it is caused by the subject of the conversation - perhaps the person simply has an unpleasant association.

Consciously reading nonverbal cues

Like the use of nonverbal behavior, the ability to correctly read and recognize nonverbal signals given by an interlocutor can be conscious and unconscious.

Conscious reading of nonverbal behavior allows us, by observing the interlocutor, to understand by his facial expression, posture, gait, and even the turn of his shoulders, what feelings he is experiencing and what shade his speech has.

For example, the phrase: “I hate you!” written on paper cannot be read unambiguously without a description of the facial expressions of the speaker. In life, the nonverbal behavior of the speaker will say a lot about the subtext:

• if it is pronounced expressively, with frowning eyebrows, pursed lips and lowered corners, with tense fists, the interlocutor will understand the message - he is really hated, since the whole posture and face of the speaker expresses anger;
• pronounced in a cheerful tone, supported by a smile and a casual wave of the hand with a relaxed body, the same phrase becomes a playful, friendly joke.

It is at such moments that non-verbal means of communication are indispensable; it is not for nothing that authors of fiction often use the epithets “muttered”, “shouted out”, “hissed” instead of the dry “said”, giving faceless words an obvious emotional connotation.

Unconscious reading of nonverbal cues

Just as the body gives away our lies by broadcasting involuntary nonverbal signals in the form of momentary microexpressions and gestures, our subconscious mind is able to read these types of nonverbal communication.

For example, you are communicating with an interlocutor who seems to be saying something pleasant, positive, making promises and convincing of his loyalty, but something inside you is itching: “He is lying, fawning, trying to hide information, he cannot be trusted!” . Some call it intuition, others call it a premonition, but from the point of view of the science of nonverbal communication, this is nothing more than the unconscious reading of the microexpressions of the interlocutor, comparing them with words and subconsciously assessing the correspondence. When a discrepancy is found between verbal and nonverbal signals, the brain tries to tell you in every available way: the person is hiding something, the gestures do not correspond to the words, you need to be on your guard!

Unconscious nonverbal behavior cannot be controlled, and specialists who can read such microexpressions learn to turn unconscious recognition of nonverbal communication gestures into conscious awareness through extensive training.

Gestures and their meaning

During a conversation, a person uses nonverbal cues. Psychologists say that they are involuntary, but you can learn to control them, manage facial expressions and postures when communicating. Nonverbal signals, regardless of us, refute or complement the conversation.

Having learned to distinguish between different types of reactions, a person will understand the true emotions of the interlocutor. I propose to consider some non-verbal body signals:

1. A nod of the head indicates the interlocutor’s desire to quickly complete the conversation.
2. Hands in pockets - the opponent is not going to tell the truth.
3. Slow nods of the head indicate interest and attention.
4. A raised index finger means a desire to interrupt the conversation.
5. Tapping your fingers on the table means impatience, irritation, loss of interest.
6. Crossing your arms over your chest means hostility, a desire to isolate yourself from your interlocutor.
7. Tapping your knuckles, fiddling with objects in your hands is a desire to distract attention and avoid negativity in your direction.
8. Pulling your earlobe or touching your chin indicates fatigue and a desire to rest.

Body language can change with age and is also influenced by status, gender and personal characteristics.
Movements can convey feelings and emotions, but not deep relationships. Body language and gestures are needed to complement and enhance emotionality. People may not pay attention to their own and others' movements, but they subconsciously recognize them. Body and gesture language: psychology

Body psychology: gestures of uncertainty and doubt

Let's consider the psychology of human behavior. A doubtful person looks away, looks out the window or past the interlocutor. Eyes with lowered eyelids may wander around the room. You need to understand it this way: I have my own opinion, I have made a decision and I want to end the conversation.

Facial expressions and gestures can signal that the opponent is tired and it’s time to end the conversation. A person in thought may lightly rub his nose or fidget with his earlobe. This proves disagreement with other people's arguments and arguments. Twitching strands of hair indicates a person’s lack of confidence in his strengths and abilities.

A person who bites his nails suffers from obsessive neurosis, while excitable people giggle.

By scratching his ear, a person seems to be saying: stop talking nonsense, I don’t want to listen to you. An unconscious posture of uncertainty is a shrug of the shoulders, showing distrust of information, which manifests itself when a person does not know what position to take.

In boring meetings, you can see the movement of covering your mouth with your hand. It immediately becomes clear that schoolchildren, students or subordinates do not like the information offered. According to psychologists, an insecure person behaves restlessly, rubs his neck, touches the tip of his nose, and clasps his fingers.

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How to read body language and gestures

Gestures of submission and superiority

At work, nonverbal signs are used by bosses of all ranks to subordinate and show superiority. Universal postures of superiority are used to present reasons and arguments to subordinates, as well as to make decisions that they expect.

The main sign of superiority or an aggressive attitude is that a person straddles a chair. When people slouch and bow their heads, it can be assumed that they recognize the superiority of their interlocutor.

A raised chin, squared shoulders, clasped hands behind the back, or hands in back pockets are clear signs of dominance and superiority. There is no touch communication here. When a person blinks frequently, is confused, and looks at his feet, this reveals an internal desire to defend himself.

Hand gestures when talking psychology

Gestures of aggression

There are nonverbal communication gestures that warn of anger and threats emanating from a person. Aggression is immediately visible in clenched fists and a straight back, with hands on the belt. Let us recall examples from life when a drunken husband is met on the threshold by an angry wife with a rolling pin in her hands (a grimace of rage on her face, hands on her sides).

An aggressive person looks at one point or does not take his eyes off his opponent’s eyes. Aggression is indicated by movements of the nostrils, which he flares, narrowed eyes and twitching of the upper lip. With these movements he seems to threaten and show his superiority.

There is a sign of threat on the face - lips compressed into a string, eyebrows knitted, a frown from under the brows and mockery. If a person at the same time takes off his outer clothing, unfastens a button, throws his bag off his shoulder, then the signals simply “scream” about the desire to throw out evil and get into a fight immediately.

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Body language and gestures of women

Signals to help you spot a lie

Let's recognize lies. Deception is unpleasant, especially coming from close people. You can see insincerity in many body movements: intonation, characteristic gestures, eyes. A liar always looks away. Sometimes a liar is betrayed by a shifting gaze and an unconscious desire to cover his eyelids.

In the psychology of movements, the following signs eloquently speak of lying: excitement, licking lips, scratching the nose and covering the mouth with one’s hand, as if preventing oneself from telling a lie. When a person cheats, feeling uncomfortable, he begins to shift from foot to foot and fidget in his chair. The deceiver often bites his nails and rubs his eyes with his hands.

Gesture communication: bored poses

Anyone who strives to study body language and gestures in psychology is interested in gestures of boredom. It is important to see that the interlocutor is bored in order to end the dialogue in time or change the topic of conversation. In order to understand that a person is bored, find out some signs:

• often glances at the clock;
• yawns, looking at his surroundings;
• taps fingers on the table or moves small objects in his hands;
• nervously taps his feet;
• takes out and examines the phone;
• He listens with boredom in his eyes, resting his head.

You need to understand if a person’s eyes are dull and wandering around, if he is hiding a yawn, it’s time to change the topic or end the dialogue without testing his further patience. In body language in the psychology of communication, this indicates that the person listening to you no longer perceives information.

Gestures and postures of defense

Defense movements make it clear that a person feels threatened and in danger. A common movement is crossing your arms over your chest. This situation suggests that the listener is on the defensive and wants to end the conversation.

When, sitting in this position, the interlocutor still clenches his hands into fists, he intends to go on the offensive. In this case, slow down your speech, gesture less, change the topic of conversation. I offer for study a course that is useful in all respects - Farewell to the Victim!

When people feel uncomfortable and want to isolate themselves from their interlocutor, they use a protective posture: they lean back, cover themselves with a briefcase, a book, a folder, or try to cross their legs. Internally experiencing tension, their eyes continuously follow the interlocutor, from whom they expect trouble.

Hand gestures and their meaning

Basic characteristics of nonverbal signals

Various parts of the body are used as tools to use and read such signals, but posture, gait, and plasticity are also important.

The nonverbal behavior of an open, self-confident subject is characterized by the following features:

• straight back, shoulders turned, good posture, free gait;
• raised head, confident look directly at the interlocutor;
• “open” gestures - relaxed arms, not closed on the chest or in a “lock”, legs not crossed;
• absence of fussy small gestures, attempts to cover your mouth or nose with your palm.

Nonverbal means of communication that demonstrate that a person is trying to hide something:

• drooping chin, tense shoulders, slight hunching;
• a gaze constantly moving from the interlocutor’s face to the floor or running over objects behind his back;
• “closed” gestures - arms crossed on the chest, a “leg to leg” pose, involuntary touching of the nose and lips with fingers, hands “housed” at chin level.

Such signs of nonverbal communication allow you to assess the degree of frankness of the interlocutor, help you take a sober approach to what he says, and decide whether to trust the person.

Expressive movements

Open gestures and body postures

Openness

The interlocutor's hands are turned palms up and spread wide to the sides. The head is straight, the shoulders are straightened. The look is direct. Facial expressions are natural, without tension or stiffness. This pose of friendliness, as a means of non-verbal communication, speaks of openness and sincerity. It is also indicated by shaking hands and clasping them with both hands. Men may unbutton their shirt or jacket while talking. When communicating with such a person, you involuntarily relax and feel trust in him.

This technique is recommended to be used when communicating with people who are significant to you. Combined with a sincere tone, you will quickly win your favor.

Sympathy

In nonverbal communication, there is the concept of mental contact, which is expressed in the involuntary copying of each other’s gestures or entire behavior. A signal is sent to each other: “I understand you perfectly.” And indeed, if you take a look at a couple peacefully talking at a table, you will see similar poses, the same placement of hands, even mirroring. If you want to convince another person to unconditionally share his opinion, simply copy his body position.

If you observe the gait of a happy man in love, we will notice a flying gait, which is very noticeable. It is also typical for self-confident, energetic people. It seems that they don’t care about all the problems.

Closed gestures and postures (defense, suspicion, secrecy)

Deception

Have you probably seen someone hiding their hands during a conversation? It is likely that he is telling a lie, since the person’s brain subconsciously sends signals to the body and when a lie is told, a strong desire arises to put his hands in his pocket, scratch his nose, and rub his eyes. All these are typical signs, however, as MirSovetov has already said, the meaning of non-verbal gestures must be explained together. A person suffering from a runny nose can scratch their nose, a child who has just woken up can rub their eyes, etc.

Defense

Arms crossed on the chest, legs crossed in standing and sitting positions - a classic gesture of closedness and inaccessibility. Frequent blinking is a sign of protection and confusion. A person’s emotional status does not allow him to feel free and at ease. If you try to negotiate something with such an interlocutor, it is likely that you will receive a refusal. To “melt the ice,” MirSovetov advises using the means of nonverbal communication already described above, try to take an open pose with your palms up.

Gestures of reflection and evaluation

Concentration

Expressed in pinching the bridge of the nose with closed eyes. When the person you are communicating with is deciding what to do or what to do, or generally thinking about solving a certain issue, he may be rubbing his chin at this time.

Criticality

If a person holds his hand to his chin, with his index finger stretched along his cheek, and with the other hand supports his elbow, his left eyebrow is lowered - you will understand that he has a negative assessment of what is happening.

Positivity

Interpreted as a slight tilt of the head forward and a light touch of the hand to the cheek. The body is tilted forward. Here is a person who is interested in what is happening and has a positive attitude towards information.

Gestures of doubt and uncertainty

Mistrust

Have you probably noticed how some students cover their mouths with their palms while listening to a speaker? This gesture indicates disagreement with the lecturer's opinion. They seem to hold back their statements, suppress true feelings and experiences. If during a conversation your friend unexpectedly made a gesture of distrust, stop and think about what words caused such a reaction? By observing the behavior of the boss, the subordinate will understand what needs to be said and what it is better to remain silent about. Distrust quickly turns into rejection and then into refusal.

Uncertainty

A nonverbal gesture such as scratching or rubbing the back of the ear or neck may indicate that the person does not fully understand what you want from him or what you mean in the conversation. How to interpret such a gesture if you were told of complete understanding? Here preference should be given to the non-verbal body signal. In this case, the person did not understand anything. A hand clasping another’s elbow from behind also speaks of uncertainty; its owner is probably in unfamiliar company.

Gestures and postures indicating reluctance to listen

Boredom

The interlocutor props his head with his hand. It is clear that he is indifferent to what is happening. If he is sitting in the audience, we can say with confidence: the material presented by the lecturer is completely uninteresting. In such cases, MirSovetov recommends changing the topic of conversation to something that worries him or “shake him up” with an unexpected question. Be sure that he will wake up, and this is exactly what you need.

Disapproval

Shaking off non-existent lint, straightening the folds of clothing, tugging at your skirt in non-verbal communication is a sign of your opponent’s disagreement with the point of view being expressed. You will quickly realize the need to switch to neutral topics. However, if a thread actually sticks to the sleeve of a jacket, or the clothing is wrinkled, this should not be regarded as a gesture of disapproval.

Willingness to leave

It can be identified by such signs as drooping of the eyelids (loss of interest), scratching the ear (blocking out the flow of speech), pulling on the earlobe (does not want to speak), turning the whole body towards the door or pointing the leg in this direction. The gesture of removing glasses also gives a signal to end the conversation.

Irritation

When a person tells an obvious lie and realizes that you have seen through him, he will experience irritation from your rightness, which may manifest itself in an involuntary loosening of his tie or collar. In non-verbal communication, this can also manifest itself in rubbing the neck, unnecessary movements of the hands, pinching a lady’s purse, or mechanically drawing on paper.

Gestures of dominance

Superiority

The so-called “director pose” or “boss pose” in a sitting position. Hands lie behind the head, one leg on the other. If the eyelids are barely closed or the corners of the eyes are slightly squinted, the gaze is directed downward - you see arrogance, disdain. This body position is often adopted by bosses and people in leadership positions as a means of nonverbal communication. They are confident in themselves and demonstratively express their importance to others. An attempt to copy this gesture threatens immediate dismissal from work.

Equality

Almost all men use this gesture, much less women. The nature of the handshake can say a lot, first of all it will reveal the intentions of the other person. If, at the moment of joining two hands, one is higher with the back side, its owner demonstrates his leading position. You can check how firmly he defends his status as a leader in a simple way: turn your hand up. If you feel resistance, it means that you will not be able to convince him to take equality between you.

Sexual gestures

When a man likes a woman, he shows his thumbs tucked into his belt, places his hands on his hips, or spreads his legs wide apart. The look at a woman is usually intimate, and can linger for a long time on selected parts of the body. A man may involuntarily straighten his tie or collar with his hand. If a woman tries to interest you, she unconsciously raises her head, straightens her hair, straightens her blouse. The more subtle art of seduction through non-verbal communication involves exposing your wrists and spreading your legs while sitting or standing. If a woman shows an intimate look in combination with an accidentally slipped strap on her shoulder, a half-dressed shoe on a crossed leg, be sure of her desire to start flirting. An open mouth and wet lips are typical sexual calls.

Tactile movements

These include hugs, handshakes, pats on the shoulder or back, touching, and kissing.

Embrace

The nature of the hug, its strength, and duration determine the meaning of the feelings expressed by a person. Bosom friends who have been separated for a long time almost strangle each other in a tight embrace when they meet. The lovers linger in a tender embrace for a long time. Hugs between distant relatives, depending on previously maintained contacts, can be either restrained, cold, or passionate. Between close people they have a soft, heartfelt meaning. At wrestling competitions, for example, the participants briefly hug and disperse.

Such a means of non-verbal communication as hugs is more common among representatives of the stronger half of humanity; among women they are slightly less common. Nowadays you can see two teenage girls on the streets running towards each other with open arms. At this age, the frequency of such contacts, both between boys and girls, is expressive in nature, when you want to throw out an excess of joy, delight and admiration for the meeting. If you see same-sex couples slowly strolling along the sidewalk in entwined arms, this may involuntarily suggest a gay person.

Handshakes

Handshakes, as one of the means of non-verbal communication, also differ in the way they are performed, strength and duration. A strong, energetic shaking of the interlocutor’s hand, coupled with a joyful exclamation, speaks of the partner’s sincerity and his desire to continue the conversation. Wrapping your hands in the form of a “glove” also speaks of friendliness. But if they hold out a lifeless hand to you, like a dead fish, they don’t want to contact you.

A cold hand in a handshake can signal that its owner is either cold or very worried. Steamy palms indicate a nervous experience. A hand that is palm down in a handshake indicates a desire to dominate the other person. If, on the contrary, it is turned palm up, its owner unconsciously recognizes himself as subordinate to the interlocutor.

Patting on the back or shoulder

Patting on the back or shoulder is mainly characteristic of men. These nonverbal gestures are often interpreted as signs of friendship, concern, or encouragement. They can be seen in almost all age categories. Patting, as it were, demonstrates masculine strength and the willingness of its owner to come to the rescue.

By the way, this gesture should not be confused with that used in medical practice. They slap a newborn child on the back to make him scream and expand his lungs; they slap a choking person from behind. Patting is a type of technique in massage practice. That is, the specific meaning of this gesture depends on the current situation.

Touch

Touch is common in the world of nonverbal communication. In educational activities, it helps to stop a mischievous person, in the case of a deaf person, to attract his attention; in medical practice, this gesture is used to diagnose a health condition; the massage technique is based on a combination of ways of touching the body; in the intimate sphere between spouses, they serve as foreplay to the connection. Different types of touch are an indicator of the partner’s unexpressed feelings. They can be gentle, affectionate, light, strong, rough, wounding, etc.

Kisses

Kissing, as a type of tactile gesture, is widely used in all aspects of human life. In relation to a specific object, the nature of kissing changes. The mother kisses the child tenderly and lovingly, between loving people they can vary from a light touch of lips to a passionate kiss. MirSovetov, in a separate article, reveals the whole gamut of this type of gesture in courting the opposite sex. Here we note that kisses can be both sincere manifestations of feelings and formal, cold, traditional. They kiss when meeting and goodbye, kiss at birth.

Business conversation

Nonverbal means of communication in negotiations and at work are of great importance: despite the formal unspoken ban on an overly expressed emotional component in business communication, a successful salesperson is able to either fail a product presentation or save it with the help of properly constructed nonverbal communication with listeners.

If a specialist presenting a product or technology presents it, monotonously reciting the text, without using a change in intonation, without supplementing the words with gestures, facial expressions, if he slouches and nervously rubs his hands, the listeners unconsciously read all these signs of uncertainty and are imbued with distrust of the product through distrust of the person presenting it to a person.

If the presentation is accompanied by competently delivered speech, rich in intonation, supported by open gestures, a smile, good posture and an open look, unconscious non-verbal communication signals: your interlocutor is worthy of trust, which means the product is too.

Psychology of human behavior: manifestation of sympathy

Nonverbal contact between people is established with the help of images, facial expressions, and intonations. Body language is a great way to express feelings without words. Techniques, poses and gestures of falling in love have long been known. It is used by young and not very in love people to quickly achieve their goals.

Body language is of great importance when choosing a person to live with. Nonverbal signs of special enthusiasm are a sparkle in the eyes, dilated pupils and characteristic body movements. Behavior can help you understand a person's interest in romantic and intimate relationships.

Women bite their lips, shake their hair, twirl strands of hair around their fingers, touch their thighs and show off their wrists. As for the stronger sex, men subconsciously demonstrate their best qualities: they pull themselves up, trying to look taller, straighten their shoulders, straighten their shirt collar and tie.

Interest in romantic and intimate relationships is revealed by a sliding, examining gaze over the figure, lingering on open areas of the body. The poses of lovers and expressions of sympathy reveal their most intimate things, allowing them to trust each other limitlessly.

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Psychology: male body language and gestures

Man's body language and gestures

A man can make a strong impression on a woman if he knows how to play with body language and demonstrate natural strength. Well-known seducers thus achieve the affection of the female sex in a matter of minutes.

Don Juans are successful, using excellent tricks that can be compared to the mating games of birds and animals. When a man meets a beautiful woman, the pupils of his eyes dilate, his body turns and leans towards the “prey”, while the man scratches his chin, strokes his hair and thighs.

Slightly flared nostrils will tell you about your love intentions. Next to a woman, the seducer seems to lack air from an overabundance of feelings. Such gestures show true desires and intentions.

Nonverbal communication between a man and a woman

Body language and gestures of women

Reading women's body language is not difficult. They, unlike men, like to gesture more with their hands and use relaxed movements to make a lasting impression on a man. Men perceive this behavior in a way that suits them, drawing appropriate conclusions about women's signals.

Feminine tricks used to seduce men are supported by sexual poses: swaying hips, playing with curls of hair, deep voice, stroking legs and thighs.

When talking with a man, the lady tries to sit closer to him and leans forward. She looks straight into the eyes, crosses her legs and paints her lips in the presence of a man. Manifestations of sympathy are also noticeable when walking - the woman sways her hips, sticks her chest forward, and makes sharp movements with her head as she walks to push her hair out of her face.

What do hand gestures mean?

Sexual gestures of men

Men are characterized by erotic gestures:

• an intimate gaze slides over a woman’s body, as if undressing her;
• legs spread wide. Here the man is unconsciously displaying his genital area, an instinct in many primates;
• palms lie on hips;
• touches his neck with his hand, straightens his tie and shirt collar;
• when a woman appears, he straightens his shoulders, plays with his muscles, attracting the opposite sex;
• When sitting, he stretches his legs.

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Sexual gestures of women

Women are characterized by erotic gestures:

• straightens her hair by touching her hair;
• tilts his head to the side;
• sways his hips while walking;
• crosses legs in a sitting position;
• strokes his thighs with his hand;
• shows wrists;
• leans confidently towards the man.
• flirtatious look, with a mysterious smile;
• slightly open mouth with wet lips;
• a quiet voice attracts sexual partners.

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Common gestures of women in love

Nonverbal cues in face-to-face communication

Nonverbal communication in personal relationships is the basis of communication. Words alone, without emotional reinforcement, without touches and small, but unconsciously read signals, will not get you far in family life.

Spouses may communicate little, exhausted by everyday life, children and work, but if in a dream they move closer to each other, if in rare hours of being together in the house, even when each is busy with his own business, they find a second to touch each other, smile - such the family is strong.

On the contrary, couples who publicly hug, kiss and otherwise express positive emotions at the level of conscious non-verbal signals, but do not experience warm feelings for each other, betray themselves by the absence of small gestures - momentary touches, glances, light smiles, and others often unconsciously read this information and before the spouses themselves begin to guess that something is wrong in the family.

To maintain relationships, it is very important to remember about non-verbal means of communication, not to underestimate the importance of touch and expressing emotions not only through words.

Body and gesture language: psychology

The psychology of body language is the key to the secrets with which you can convey feelings and thoughts without words and hide your intentions. People without proper practice cannot control their own body movements. The signals are involuntary, and postures, gestures, and expressions of emotions through facial expressions occur impulsively and unconsciously.

The human body is a tool, and facial expressions, postures, and gestures are psychological weapons that allow you to achieve success in different areas of life. Having studied the psychology of body movements, you can “see through” a person, acting in your own interests.

I have been dividing people for a long time: by word, tone, gesture, look - into those for whom I myself will pour and those with whom I will not sit next to drink! I. Guberman

Body language can be trusted, it comes from the subconscious and cannot be faked. Facial expressions in the psychology of communication are universal. By studying body language and gestures, you can learn to recognize negative emotions, feelings, plans, understand what is on a person’s mind and what should be expected from him.

It is useful to learn to recognize body language in psychology, which will be useful in any situation: on dates, negotiations, showdowns and in other important circumstances. At the same time, you can understand whether they are misleading you or telling the truth. It would be nice to learn to control your movements so as not to expose what you need to hide.

Human psychology by behavior and gestures

Nonverbal cues: open postures of a person

How to understand body language? Let's look at poses that can be classified as “open”: straight back, relaxed body, uncrossed arms and legs in a free position, gaze directed at the face. A person with a straight back always seems confident and reliable, someone worth trusting. If your friends are sociable and like to be the center of attention, they are open and sincere.

Nonverbal messages imply productive communication. Openness poses are useful for demonstrating to people a friendly attitude towards them, sympathy for listeners, helping to establish the necessary contact in a calm atmosphere, and expressing sympathy.

Signs of openness are relaxed, free movements with a predisposition to communicate and trust. This is expressed in a slight tilt of the body to the speaker, quiet laughter, a smile and open palms.

If there are a lot of people in the company, pay attention to how each of your friends sits down. For example, if a person prefers a seat in the middle of the sofa, he is sociable and loves to be the center of attention. Anyone who can sit down in your presence with their legs tucked under them also feels confident and calm. Hands and knees pointing to the sides confirm sincerity and openness.

Nonverbal communication

Nonverbal gestures: closed human postures

What do human postures mean? People shut down when they are nervous, unsure of themselves, or incompetent to discuss something. In this case, characteristic movements involuntarily appear: clenching fists, touching hair, fiddling with keys and other objects in their hands.

Closed gestures - crossed legs and arms, tense facial muscles, when protective barriers show stress and discomfort. The psychological state and emotions are noticeable in the movements of the hands: one hand is lowered along the body, and the other grabs it.

Folded arms on the chest demonstrate a person’s desire to build protection, and others perceive this as a repulsive movement. Tables that do not allow you to sit close to each other, as well as umbrellas, bags, folders, and packages placed in front of you can be an obstacle to establishing contact.

Man's body language and gestures

Body language: what gestures can tell

People who want to hide the truth consciously control their facial expressions and movements. This is only possible with a lot of training and willpower. Knowledge of body language and gestures is needed to find out the truth and reveal lies. Sometimes you just need to be attentive during a conversation. Let's look at what gestures and body parts mean, where each is responsible for its own problem:

• eyes - emotions associated with personal relationships;
• neck - negativity and aggression;
• hands in front of you, open palms - calm and trust;
• chest - restraint, self-control;
• diaphragm - feeling of satisfaction, volitional efforts;
• stomach - a feeling of threat and danger;
• pelvic area - true and intimate feelings.

When assessing the reaction of individual parts of the body, it is necessary to pay attention to the movements as a whole. Often a person cannot control the body and it becomes easy to reveal the deception.

How to learn to correctly recognize nonverbal signals

By learning to correctly interpret other people's nonverbal signals, you can expand your capabilities, raise nonverbal communication with your interlocutors to a new level, and also learn to recognize attempts to manipulate you.

In order to improve non-verbal communication skills, try to absorb when communicating, notice not only some noticeable, “large” gestures, but also note small ones, perceive the entire palette of human motor skills: facial expression, posture, posture, finger movements and gaze, shift intonation. This will allow over time to cut off superficial, conscious gestures of the interlocutor, identifying micro-expressions and noting signs of deception or unconscious lies. By noticing the broad gesture of your hands, you will also learn to notice the rapid licking of lips that betrays excitement, and then non-verbal communication with people will turn into an exciting ride in which attempts to manipulate you will be broken by your ability to recognize them and avoid them.

Sign language for beginners: how to recognize the simplest movements

When you master the knowledge of the language of nonverbal communication, you will see what you could not guess. To get a complete picture of the correspondence of body signals to people's words, learn to evaluate the meaning of all movements:

1. Gait. Confident with a long stride - purposeful, lethargic, slow, shuffling - no will and aspirations;
2. Hand position. Elbows pressed tightly to the body speak of unsociability, isolation, and uncertainty. Waving your hands during a dialogue - openness, sociability.
3. Touching the interlocutor. The desire to subjugate, to gain trust.
4. Sight. The eyes show the interlocutor's interest in communication. A glance directed downwards means the person is telling the truth; a gaze directed upwards means he is lying and making things up on the fly.
5. Posture. A straight neck and a raised chin - confidence in the rightness.
6. Head. A person is bowed or resting his head on his hand - humility and timidity.
7. Frame. Leaned forward - interest and sympathy for a person, a desire to gain confidence in him.

Facial expression: facial expressions and gestures

Let's study the language of facial expressions. Your facial expression will tell you a lot about you, even to a stranger. We like an open look that shows the sincerity of the interlocutor. Narrowed eyes are alarming, because a person is plotting cunning or hatching insidious plans.

When a person looks away and does not look his interlocutor in the eyes, it means he feels guilty or is hiding something. On the contrary, looking “eye to eye” makes it clear that they trust you and are interested in communication.

Frequent yawning is not a sign of lack of sleep, it is a sign of boredom. Helps you avoid falling asleep while driving a car or during a boring meeting. It is so contagious that even reading about it, it is difficult to resist yawning.

The interlocutor is betrayed by closed eyes - a sign of indifference, passivity to what is happening. Such a look can indicate that a person is very tired, so clarify the moment so as not to accidentally accuse your interlocutor of indifference.

People who involuntarily direct their gaze to the bridge of their nose do not trust anyone. Those who are aggressively inclined look from under their brows; if during a conversation the gaze drops down, the posture indicates that the person is happy to be submissive and helpful.

We can see sincerity, joy and happiness in communication with gestures if the corners of the eyes are squinted when a person smiles. However, such an emotion should not be mistaken for a smile out of politeness. When the corners of the lips turn down, a person experiences sadness and hopelessness.

Human psychology by behavior: open postures

Gestures when communicating: foot placement

Body language is interesting and unusual. It is not surprising that even feet can tell us a lot about a person. Let's look at the most common leg gestures and their meaning:

1. Confident steps towards – the desire to make contact.
2. Uncertainty and anxiety are indicated by a person who shifts from foot to foot and is unable to stand still for a long time.
3. Legs in a calm state indicate a confident and balanced person.
4. A sitting person shakes his legs - he wants to get attention.
5. Tapping your feet indicates a desire to end the conversation and quickly leave.
6. The legs are located close to each other - a person’s humility with apparent confidence.
7. Stroking someone with your foot means flirting.
8. A person moves slowly, barely dragging his feet - despondency and boredom.

Hand gestures and their meaning

Nonverbal communication such as facial expressions, intonation, posture and hand gestures can convey much more than words. Body language allows you to understand where the truth is and where the lie is. Knowledge of veiled body movements is needed in personal life and in business, so it is worth studying them in more detail. Hand posture, like other body movements, can tell a lot of interesting things.

1. Hands rest loosely on hips – fatigue, anticipation.
2. The palms of the hands are crossed on the knees - reluctance to communicate, lying at shoulder level - superiority and power.
3. Gesticulation with hands - honesty and openness of nature.
4. Hands in pocket - reticence, mistrust.
5. Hands clenched into fists - anger, irritation, rage.
6. Rubbing your palms together is a way to calm your nerves.
7. Hands thrown behind the neck - relaxation, calmness.
8. A hand with an index finger directed at a person - a desire to humiliate and subjugate.

Body language: gestures

Body language: lip movements

Human psychology in behavior and gestures is clearly expressed in the movement of the lips. Lip position signals are associated with a person's self-confidence and physiological characteristics. Such body movements are more often used by graceful and open women.

• lips in a grin - malice, distrust;
• pursed lips - anger;
• licking lips during a dialogue - boredom, lack of interest; when communicating with the male sex - flirting;

• touching your lips with a finger during a business conversation means uncertainty from a difficult choice;
• tightly pursed lips mean disgust, especially if an unpleasant topic is raised;
• a person bites his lips from dissatisfaction, fatigue and emotional overload. The same gesture from a girl in an intimate setting indicates strong feelings for her partner or a desire to seduce him.

Nonverbal signs of sexual partners

Nonverbal communication: gaze and head position

By learning the basic meanings of body language and gestures in psychology, you can learn everything about a complete stranger, find out what he is trying to hide. To learn this, you need to be observant. Let's look at typical communication postures and head position.

• head raised - a challenge or a desire to show oneself above all troubles;
• head tilted with a smile - light flirting;
• head lowered - shame, timidity, attempt to keep distance;
• running glance - deceit;
• looking at the floor - shyness;
• questioning look - distrust;
• direct eye to eye gaze - self-confidence, calmness;
• pupils dilated - surprise;
• bulging eyes - anger, shock;
• looking past the interlocutor - loss of interest in the dialogue;
• raised eyebrow in surprise - skepticism.

Nonverbal communication and errors

Non-verbal communication is an important component of human communication, and the ability to understand signals helps a lot in life, but we should not forget that excessive enthusiasm for the theory of micro-expressions and unconscious gestures can fail if we do not remember the possibility of mistakes. You should always remember the conditions in which the dialogue is being conducted: in a stuffy room with dry air, for example, licking your lips can symbolize not so much an attempt to deceive as to moisturize dry skin, and folded hands on your chest are sometimes intended not to close yourself off from your interlocutor, but to cover up a poorly placed stain on clothes.

Nonverbal communication is a huge layer of information that you need to be able to use in order to improve your communication skills and learn to avoid outside manipulation.

Leg position when communicating

• Focus position
  : Open pose with feet together and toes slightly apart. This position indicates neutral human behavior.
• The position in which the legs are apart is most typical for the male half of humanity
  , since it is a certain signal of dominance. At the same time, this position indicates confidence; the person stands firmly on his feet.
• If one of the interlocutor's legs is placed in front of the other
  , then this gesture can reveal his intentions regarding the conversation. If a person’s toe is pointed to the side when talking to you, this means that he is not averse to leaving quickly. And, on the contrary, when the toe is pointed towards the interlocutor, the person is engaged in the conversation.

Variations of crossed legs

All crossed leg positions indicate a closed and defensive attitude. Often, a person takes this position of the legs, experiencing discomfort and stress. In combination with crossed arms (most often in the chest area), the pose speaks of a person’s desire to isolate himself from what is happening and the inability to perceive information. A position called “leg hooking,” which is common among women, signifies fear, discomfort, and constriction.