The feeling of fear of death (thanatophobia) is common to all living beings. If you do not take therapeutic measures in a timely manner and do not get rid of the fear of death, the consequences can be severe.
When a person is faced with a disaster, a negative emotional state is considered valid. Anxiety goes away on its own after its cause is eliminated. However, some phobias arise without any basis and can lead to psychosomatic disorders (physical illnesses) in a physically healthy person.
Reasons why fear of death appears.
What is the reason and why does the fear of death appear?
An animal, when danger appears, does not think about death. In the consciousness of an animal there is no such “definition” as death. Animals mostly live by instinct. Therefore, the animal simply instinctively saves its life when a threat appears.
Having escaped the influence of the threat, it returns to its usual life.
This is due to the fact that most animal brain work occurs in the reptilian brain region. And the emotion of fear is born there.
With the evolution of the human neocortex, this natural emotion, the fear of death, also evolved. It has acquired and continues to acquire new forms.
The human imagination can come up with a huge number of tragic endings, under the influence of fear.
The human brain has generated a lot of varieties of fear of death, which are often not directly related to physical death:
Fear of madness Fear of disability Fear of illness Fear of humiliation Fear of not meeting someone's expectations Fear of not fulfilling society's programs Fear of loneliness Fear of losing loved ones Fear of betrayal Fear of betrayal
These fears are connected not so much with physical life, but with life in society and the individual. And this is more the fear of personal death.
We can say that the human mind is afraid of ceasing to identify itself as an individual and as a unit of society. And often this is worse than death for a person.
Why does thanatophobia occur?
Thanatophobia is the medical name for the fear of death. It can occur in people of any conscious age. The logical conclusion of life is death, therefore the fear of this event is common to all people. The complete absence of a sense of fear of death is also considered a pathology.
Depending on the reason that can provoke the fear of dying, there are several forms of fear and its manifestations:
- Fear of serious illness. A patient with such a psychoemotional disorder has undergone surgery or had other health problems. It is possible that the source of the problem lies in the fear of experiencing severe pain, which is characteristic of many serious diseases.
- Fear of the unknown. No one knows what will happen to him after death, so a person begins to fear what awaits him after death.
- Loss of control. It is impossible to prevent death from occurring. Even if a person eats right, seeks medical help in a timely manner, etc., he knows that death cannot be avoided and begins to realize his own helplessness. Loss of control over the situation provokes a constant feeling of anxiety.
- Loneliness. A person is afraid to be alone.
- Faith and punishment. Religious people are not afraid of death, but of the fact that punishment awaits them for their sins.
- Fear of sudden death. People with this form of thanatophobia are afraid to die, because... they have unfinished business, small children in need of care, etc.
In adults
Obsessive fear of death in adult patients often occurs after 30-35 years. During this period, most manage to establish themselves as individuals in their career, business and family life, beginning to evaluate their achievements differently, because They believe that life is at the beginning of its decline. Thoughts about death are visited more and more often, and the fear of dying begins to intensify in the event of a financial crisis, in moments of poor physical well-being and life turmoil.
In older people
The psychology of an elderly person differs from the psychology of middle-aged people. At the end of life, a rethinking of all actions and events occurs. In old age, people are often afraid not to die, but to experience the death throes.
Fear intensifies when a serious illness is diagnosed, and the person begins to fear that health problems may cause problems such as loss of reason or inability to move independently. Having such thoughts can lead a person to try to avoid the death throes through suicide.
In a child, teenager
Children's awareness of death occurs gradually. They may encounter it as a result of the death of a pet or relative. A small child does not experience emotional loss the same way an adult does. As he grows up, he begins to copy the behavior of those around him (parents).
When the realization comes that death is an irretrievable loss, it is necessary to explain to the child that this event awaits all living beings, but at different times. The child must learn to correctly understand the meaning of death. Otherwise, a phobia may begin to develop. Most often, children are afraid not of their own death, but of the loss of loved ones (mom, dad).
In adolescence, when personality is being formed, signs of fear of something new appear constantly. The child is afraid of public speaking, the sight of blood, or attacks. The fear of early death is no exception.
The teenager rethinks the information received at a young age about the meaning of death. He begins to understand that the end of existence cannot be avoided. Often teenagers try to fight and confront their fears and get carried away by various cultures that extol death or, conversely, mock it.
Situations cannot be ruled out when awareness of one’s own helplessness in adolescents leads to the appearance of suicidal thoughts.
Fear of death symptoms
The fear of death is expressed quite simply. Fear of disappearing physically!
Almost all people experience this. But don't get hung up on it!
Let me remind you once again that the fear of death is a natural and natural emotion.
The majority of people simply know how to switch from this emotion to some actions, tasks or goals. And if this happens, it is short-lived.
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They say that if a person is not afraid of death, he is simply a fool. But what then do you call a person who is afraid only of death, but is so afraid that he cannot live because of it?
I want to tell my story, which perhaps will help someone understand and accept the fact that fears of this kind cannot be dealt with on their own. That you need a reliable and competent ally who will help you defeat yourself.
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Panic attacks and fear of death
It happens that these emotions become obsessive and have no basis. The reasons for this can be different, from prolonged stress to disruption of the autonomic system.
When such experiences are constant or appear with some frequency and are accompanied by headaches, dizziness, insomnia, obsessive thoughts and panic attacks, it is necessary to urgently contact a specialist!!! The sooner you start solving this problem, the faster it can be solved!
The beginning of time
Until I was forty, I didn’t think much about death. More precisely, I didn’t think about her in any particular way. We are born, we live, we die - the eternal circle of existence, and there is no point in racking our brains over what is beyond our control anyway.
And then that very Event happened in my life.
The fear of death came to me in the form of a phone call. It didn’t even sound at night or on some special day for me, which could have increased the drama of the moment.
An ordinary working day, a familiar atmosphere in the office, laughter and voices of colleagues, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the intermittent voice of Yurka’s mother on the phone: “Yura has died, the funeral is tomorrow at 12 o’clock.”
For a long time I could not figure out what was happening. Which Yura died? My friend, with whom we have been friends since 9th grade? But this cannot be - just yesterday we called each other, agreed on a traditional fishing weekend, and Yurka was going to take his dog with him - the puppies were finally distributed, and his faithful shepherd Alma was ready to return to our “fishing ranks”.
I was so discouraged that I called Yurka’s mother back to make sure that that call was nothing more than a monstrous and terrible coincidence of circumstances, that a stranger had not called me about the death of some other Yura.
But when Vera Ivanovna picked up the phone, she had not yet had time to tell me anything, when I realized from the background sounds and voices that there was no mistake. Yurka’s mother, apparently under the influence of some sedatives, spoke to me like a robot. And somewhere not far from her, someone was crying, something metal was rattling, and overall there was a feeling that the world had really turned upside down.
The funeral was unbearably difficult for me. It was too sudden, Yurka was too young, everything in this situation was “too much.” And for my psyche it also turned out to be an unbearable burden. For some reason, instead of grief over the loss of my best friend, I felt rather surprise. Can it really happen like this: now you’re alive, and the next minute you’re dead? And on the day on which the fishing is planned, your funeral is planned?
Since this all started.
Living in anticipation of death
After the funeral, something turned upside down in my head. If before I had not even thought seriously about my death or when it would come to me, now everything was devoted to death.
In everything I saw around me, I saw “special” signs indicating the transience of my life. This drove me into a frenzy, sometimes I wanted to howl like a wolf from the feeling of my own powerlessness. In fact, I am already dying, and the only question is when the last phase of death will begin, after which I will cease to exist.
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COST OF TREATMENT
These thoughts did not leave me alone. As soon as I was distracted and forgotten about death, it immediately reminded me of itself, for example, with an itch in my hand. Touching my skin, I was immediately reminded of decomposition after death and what the skin turns into at the same time (yes, by that time I had re-read and reviewed everything I could find about the details of dying). This caused me almost physical suffering, and if I figuratively describe my state at such moments, I was a man locked in a cage that was sinking lower and lower into the water every minute. Now it reaches my knees, now it has already reached my thighs - one day my face will sink under the water and I will not be able to breathe. And what’s the point of breathing now if tomorrow I stop breathing.
I perfectly understood the abnormality of my condition and tried to erase it from myself with more and more information about death (fear is the result of the unknown), faith (fear is the result of disbelief in life after death) and many other methods.
But it only got worse - I could no longer sleep, eat, or live normally. Any action I took was subject to death. I did a general cleaning of my laptop and office - when after my death they will sort out my things, so that no one would have a reason to discuss me. After that, it became easier for several days - I had the illusion that I was ready for death. I also made sure with manic zeal that at every moment of my life I looked morgue-worthy - clean clothes, a passport in my jacket pocket...
And he was afraid as he had never been afraid of anything.
Fear of death - how to get rid of and overcome
There are quite simple ways to solve this issue if the problem does not last long.
High-quality moderate physical activity, especially at the time of the “attack”. Jogging, Qigong, Yoga, football, volleyball, etc.
Breathing anti-stress exercises. Slow inhale, calm exhale. Or a slow inhale, a sharp noisy exhale through the lips.
Communicate with people around whom you feel calm and pleasant.
Getting involved in activities that shift you away from these emotions. Go to the park, watch a nice movie, clean your apartment, buy yourself something nice, etc.
Long walks in the fresh air.
A detailed analysis of what scares you and a realistic assessment of the situation that evokes these emotions in you. Put fear on the scale and evaluate its reality.
Changes in life that fear motivates you to make. If you are afraid of getting sick, do everything that improves your health, etc.
Planning for a happy future and beautiful prospects.
Contact a specialist. Psychologist, psychotherapist.
Find people who have dealt with similar problems and start communicating with them. For example, on the Internet on forums and groups.
If you believe in God, turn to Him for help. People who deeply believe, as a rule, have no fear of death.
Treatment
To understand how to overcome the fear of death, the first step is to determine its causes. This is the only way to overcome this fear. If a person realizes that nothing threatens him now, then he will stop fearing that he will die.
The patient must realize that he is able to control his phobia, that he can overcome it and cope with it. This is not so easy to do, but it is possible. Just try to stop thinking about it, and gradually this phobia will weaken.
Try to find someone you see as a mentor. Usually this role can be played by a good, experienced doctor who understands you perfectly, can support you and knows how to get rid of the fear of death. Such a mentor is necessary, because you won’t be able to overcome the fear of death on your own, alone.
We must not forget about medications. These can be both medications and products used in traditional medicine. But of course, they should be consumed only after you consult a doctor.
Every person is capable of coping with the fear of death. You just need to want it and make some effort. Of course, you will also need the help of an experienced specialist.
Where to contact
If you have thoughts of suicide, make an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist in your city. If this is not possible, call the hotline of the psychological assistance center in your city. Your call will be completely anonymous, and you don’t have to worry about anyone finding out about your suicidal thoughts. You will not be asked to change your mind about dying or not to think about suicide. They will listen to you, support you, share your feelings and thoughts, this will reduce the level of tension and anxiety when such thoughts arise.
Perhaps in the process of dialogue you will become more clear about what pain you want to “kill” by committing suicide. Or maybe you want to attract someone’s attention or someone you want to punish with your death.
Who most often tries to stop being afraid of death?
It has been proven that the most common fear of death is experienced by:
- Losers;
- criminals.
The first, because it seems to them that they did not have time to accomplish anything worthwhile in their lives, did not have time to realize their potential.
They beg in vain for a chance for a second life, which they will live completely differently: they will succeed, they will become happy, they will not miss any of the opportunities provided.
Think, maybe you can’t stop being afraid of death precisely because you have achieved little in life and feel like an unhappy person?
So it’s not too late to fix everything if this is the reason.
People who have committed too much evil, meanness, betrayal, and crime in this world are most often afraid of death, because they are afraid that they will have to answer for everything to higher powers.
By the way, people often become atheists for this very reason.
A friend of mine once talked about her boss, a not-so-nice older woman.
So: she fell into hysterics at the mere mention of death, refused to attend the funerals of friends and often, with or without reason, pointing her finger at the sky, shouted: “There’s no one there! There is no Hell or Heaven! I'll just disappear! Fools are those who believe in the continuation of life after death!
But fear forced her to behave so unreasonably - she simply could not stop being afraid of death.
How to find peace of mind?
If you know that you have done too much evil, then try to correct what you have done (at least what you can), ask for forgiveness from those you offended.
You will feel much better when you do this.
Causes
The thought of suicide is like a beacon that what is happening is not suitable and the only right decision at this moment seems to be death.
Our psyche is structured in such a way that we react to every event in one way or another. The appearance of obsessive ideas about leaving life is the result of the fact that a person does not find a way out. The psyche perceives the critical situations described earlier as irreversible, as a result of which the purpose of life disappears. And the more traumatic the event that led to such a desire, the more difficult it is to cope. Thoughts are the same reaction as words or body movements. The topic of suicide is quite delicate and it is best to explore it accompanied by a psychologist. But it is not always possible and resources to reach a specialist, which is why today we will talk about methods of introspection and self-help when thoughts of suicide arise.
The process of experiencing certain life difficulties can provoke suicidal feelings, for example:
- mental health problems;
- bullying or restriction of rights on any grounds by others;
- domestic abuse;
- death of loved ones;
- separation from a partner;
- long-term physical pain or illness;
- inability to accept drastic changes in life, such as becoming disabled, expelled from school, or fired;
- money problems or loss of housing;
- rejection or feelings of loneliness;
- imprisonment;
- feeling like a failure.
How not to be afraid of someone else's death? — advises Chulpan Khamatova
Often we experience panic horror not before our own death, but before the fact that our parents, loved one, child, close friend will die.
Waves of panic roll in because we can’t imagine life without them.
I hope that the story of Chulpan Khamatova will help you overcome this phobia.
Chulpan Khamatova is not only a great actress, but also a kindest person who has been involved in charity work for a long time.
She founded the “Give Life!” Foundation, which helps children with leukemia.
Chulpan is not just listed as a nominal co-founder, but actively works in this fund and communicates directly with his wards.
Naturally, he becomes attached to many of them.
Not all children have a chance of recovery; many, despite treatment, die.
I have always wondered how Chulpan Khamatova manages to remain steadfast when she is constantly under the influence of such emotional stress.
How does she cope with her fear of death?
I found the answer in one of her interviews.
Chulpan told the story that one day she was almost broken by a string of deaths of children who were dear to her, especially one girl.
She even thought about giving up everything, but suddenly the mother of this same girl called her and told her that she had dreamed of a daughter who stood on the sun-drenched shore and asked her to tell Chulpan so that she would not be upset about her death, that now she felt great and really happy.
Chulpan realized that she did not feel sorry for the dead girl, but for herself.
We, grieving the death of our loved ones, act as egoists and begin to think how difficult it is for us without them, without thinking that they may be doing very well now.
Don't be selfish, thinking only about yourself!
