Why does mental pain occur? How to get rid of mental pain? What to do if your soul hurts? Mental illness, what is it? Our specialists will be able to help a person cope with such a situation without causing harm. This deep pain is associated with a disorder of higher nervous activity and it is not treated in conventional ways, which can only dull it or temporarily mask it. This will require both a lot of medical experience and quite a bit of your own life experience. Not all doctors can understand a person’s true experiences if they have not been in such situations themselves. Every person experiences mental pain, but at different times and, unfortunately, not everyone can cope with it on their own.
We know what mental pain is and can help you cope with it, continue to live in a new, more harmonious world of your inner experiences.
If a person feels mental pain for more than 15-20 days or these sensations are repeated with any frequency, then this indicates the formation or presence of a disease of the nervous system and to get rid of mental pain, it is necessary to consult a competent and conscientious psychotherapist.
Brain Clinic specialists will always be able to provide you or your loved ones with the necessary and sufficient medical care to relieve mental pain and restore the nervous system, and restore quality of life.
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The mechanism of occurrence from the point of view of psychology
Suppose a significant event occurs in a person’s life that has a negative connotation. This can be serious stress: death or separation, divorce, job loss, breakup of a relationship with a significant person, bankruptcy. Events that objectively do not cause serious damage to the psyche can also be traumatic. For a person they acquire super-significance. In response to a traumatic event, a pronounced emotionally charged negative reaction occurs. Under the influence of personal assessment (a person experiences what happened), a stable negative experience appears.
Mental pain becomes deep and lasting. A person has a number of important psychological links that determine his comfortable state of mind. Psychologists believe that when a person loses any significant object, this link is lost.
There is a theory according to which mental pain is deeply subjective, it exists separately from the body and does not manifest itself in it. American neuropsychologists studied images taken by magnetic resonance imaging and concluded that mental suffering affects the functioning of the physiological systems of the body. A person suffers - at this time the neurons of the limbic system of the brain are activated.
In psychology there is a concept - psychogenic pain. This condition occurs when emotional suffering is reflected in physiology, but is not associated with visible pathologies.
The mechanism of occurrence from the point of view of psychology
Suppose a significant event occurs in a person’s life that has a negative connotation. This can be serious stress: death or separation, divorce, job loss, breakup of a relationship with a significant person, bankruptcy. Events that objectively do not cause serious damage to the psyche can also be traumatic. For a person they acquire super-significance. In response to a traumatic event, a pronounced emotionally charged negative reaction occurs. Under the influence of personal assessment (a person experiences what happened), a stable negative experience appears.
Mental pain becomes deep and lasting. A person has a number of important psychological links that determine his comfortable state of mind. Psychologists believe that when a person loses any significant object, this link is lost.
There is a theory according to which mental pain is deeply subjective, it exists separately from the body and does not manifest itself in it. American neuropsychologists studied images taken by magnetic resonance imaging and concluded that mental suffering affects the functioning of the physiological systems of the body. A person suffers - at this time the neurons of the limbic system of the brain are activated.
In psychology there is a concept - psychogenic pain. This condition occurs when emotional suffering is reflected in physiology, but is not associated with visible pathologies.
What is mental pain
Mental pain is a condition that is difficult to describe in words. It is characterized by a general loss of spirit, a depressed, sad mood, a reluctance to communicate with others - or, conversely, a desire to speak out and show self-pity. During times of mental pain, the world around us begins to seem gloomy and scary, and at the same time, the desire to somehow contact it disappears. In this state, life causes only suffering instead of pleasure.
Mental pain can be caused, for example, by parting with a loved one, the death of a beloved relative, friend or acquaintance, or the loss of a job. A sharp and unexpected turn occurs in human life, during which some important component of this life is lost, and then further existence loses its meaning. In particularly acute manifestations, mental pain can lead to thoughts of suicide.
Mental pain is scary because it is not a disease in itself; There is no cure for it, and even the immediate cause cannot be found. However, it can be a consequence of certain mental states or mental illnesses, and then it is possible to indirectly influence mental pain by curing the existing disease.
Heartache
Mental pain is a term that is often used by ordinary people, but it is relatively rarely used by specialists, psychotherapists and psychiatrists.
Pain in the soul is perhaps the most common complaint with which people come to see a doctor and can be considered a common symptom of many borderline mental states of psychiatric diseases.
Pain in the soul or mental pain - each person defines and describes this condition to the doctor in his own way. In this short text we will try to collect the most common complaints from both patients and their relatives.
Feelings of mental pain
Mental pain - how do people define this condition?
Those who have experienced mental pain describe it as excruciating suffering, difficult to describe in ordinary words, with which a person, most often, is left alone. Painkillers do not help, sedatives and alcohol can only intensify this torment. In some cases, only sleep can postpone and postpone this suffering for some time.
Using alcohol or sedatives to get rid of mental pain is dangerous by developing addiction and, in the future, increasing pain in the soul.
People around you usually cannot see a person’s internal experiences “from the outside,” since this is intensely hidden from prying eyes. We must look decent and others should not see our problems!
Often our patients admit that even the closest people do not understand (or cannot understand), do not see (or cannot see) and do not even believe that mental experiences can be of the nature of unbearable, sometimes even physically felt, pain .
Mental pain due to depression
With depression, pain in the soul (or mental pain) can reach such a degree of severity that it becomes unbearable, either physically or psychologically. The person begins to “throw around,” moan and “scream” from the suffering he experiences. Sleep is disturbed, which is often accompanied by disturbing dreams, which can be perceived as an omen or “prophetic dream”; profuse sweating often occurs during sleep. Sometimes people even stop feeling physical pain, for example, from blows, burns or other wounds. People who have suffered such conditions note that no physical pain they know (from injuries, heart attacks, severe wounds) is incomparable in strength to the suffering in the presence of mental pain.
It is difficult to describe in words the pain in the soul, since each person feels it differently; most often, patients find it difficult to specify or formulate these painful sensations. In some cases, mental pain can manifest itself as distinct physical sensations, such as:
- feeling of pressure,
- "petrification"
- burning or coldness in the chest,
- heaviness or pain in the heart area,
- pain or discomfort in the abdomen (stomach, intestines),
- pain or heaviness between the shoulder blades or back,
- feeling of nausea,
- palpitations (tachycardia, angina pectoris, coldness in the chest).
And almost always pain in the soul is accompanied by unpleasant experiences, such as:
- depression,
- apathy,
- yearning,
- anxiety,
- "joylessness"
- "feeling of emotional numbness"
- "feeling of absence of feelings"
- other sensations, often the most exotic.
Definition of Heartache
What is pain in the soul? Is this a disease or a protective reaction of the body?
From a doctor's perspective, it's both.
The brain, in this way, tries to convey to us, to signal that it is sick and needs help to cope with today's problem. If he is not helped today, then tomorrow this condition may provoke the formation of a more complex mental pathology.
Mental pain as a defensive reaction
Any person can experience mental pain, including those who are mentally healthy, for example, those who have experienced a significant loss of someone or something. Many conflicts that seem insoluble can cause a feeling of pain in the soul for people with a certain personality type (suspicious, anxious, with increased responsibility, always doubting everything). In these cases, mental pain is regarded as a protective reaction of the psyche to excessive stress.
Mental pain as a symptom of a disease
However, it is not uncommon for mental pain to be a manifestation (symptom) of mental illness (mental disorder)
It should be noted that the expression itself, “mental illness,” has a direct origin from the words mental pain. The feeling of mental pain is the most common symptom of the most common mental disorder in recent years - depression.
Ways to overcome
Heartache occurs due to many reasons. Someone experienced the death of a loved one, another broke up with a partner.
Not everyone can overcome pain and continue living. Getting rid of mental wounds takes time and the desire to recover. Despondency often turns into depression, so you shouldn’t start fighting the pain.
Allow yourself to feel
You should not hide the fact that the pain drags on and it becomes more and more difficult to get out. The soul groans, the heart is broken, unfortunately, this is normal. You need to give free rein to your emotions - scream, hit a pillow, break the hated teapot. During treatment, you should not suppress tears. Crying helps release pain and overcome it.
Meditation helps in accepting emotions, which directs thoughts in a peaceful direction. But you need to calm the flow of ideas only after a painful outburst.
Share with loved ones
Parents and friends are able to find words of support and help overcome the burden when it seems that there is no salvation. It is necessary to speak out to people who are part of your circle of trust. Friends and parents will be able to give advice and tell you their point of view on a specific situation.
Regular meetings or conversations with loved ones are very effective. Such moments will become a pleasant ritual, will force a person to wait for the appointed day and find interesting topics for conversation. You should not drink alcohol in any quantity, as alcohol can cause strong emotions that will be difficult to cope with.
For cases when conversation is impossible, a personal diary will come in handy. Every thought should be written down in it, pain should be expressed. There is no need to be shy and hold back, as no one will read these sheets. If necessary, the diary can be burned, which will become a bridge between the stages of life.
No need for drama
It is typical for a person to have a long discussion of a painful situation and memories. This behavior leads to being “stuck” in the experience and unable to accept the loss or breakup. Negative emotions are natural, but you should not create the habit of dramatizing and exaggerating the scale of the problem.
The cause of mental pain can be reminded (consciously and unconsciously) by relatives of the sufferer, giving advice, mentioning unpleasant names or events. To eliminate such provocations, it is worth stopping communication with such individuals at least for a while.
Responsibility
A person needs to accept the fact that depression cannot last forever. It is necessary to take responsibility for your own life and look for ways to recover.
It is worth analyzing actions and thoughts, understanding the impact of actions on the outcome and admitting mistakes. Sometimes taking responsibility for your life manifests itself in changing your lifestyle and forming healthy habits.
Acceptance of feelings
To survive a spiritual crisis, it is worth spending time studying your condition and understanding the reason for the appearance of certain feelings.
Psychologists have developed a practice that consists of compiling a list of tasks that were completed during the week and the sensations that appeared after completing the recorded actions. This will help you get rid of the feeling of wasted time and set priorities.
Finding activities that bring you joy on a daily basis will help you adopt an attitude toward routine, socialization, and find a way to cope with pain.
Lifestyle change
A person cannot survive mental pain without personal changes. To cleanse, it is worth changing the furnishings in the apartment; it is enough to restore order and rearrange the furniture.
Several actions that the body requires daily:
- dream;
- nutrition;
- movement.
It is necessary to learn to enjoy food, it is worth creating a balanced nutrition plan. It is important to get enough sleep and go to bed before midnight, since sleep is the basis for restoring mental balance.
“In order to forget the shaky and unfaithful past, you need to create a new history for yourself.” (Paulo Coelho)
Movement and sports force the body to produce happiness hormones, so if you are in mental pain, you need to force yourself to go for a walk and do exercises.
Caring for loved ones
If sadness has gripped your heart, you should remember your family and friends and surround them with care. It is often difficult to take the first step towards, especially when a person thinks only about the cause of the pain. The response and gratitude of loved ones will help restore strength and desire to live.
Caring for a pet will create an object on which to direct thoughts and care. Walking, playing and having a living creature nearby will heal the soul, creating positive energy that can be spent on yourself and your pet. It is necessary to approach the choice responsibly so as not to create discomfort for your pet in the future.
Dreams
Having your head in the clouds helps to distract from negative emotions and makes a person find ways to develop or achieve a dream.
Thinking through every little detail of desire in detail helps you move towards your goal, overcoming pain. There is no need to suppress dreams by arguing about a recent loss or breakup. Dreams are an opportunity to plunge into another world, the achievement of which will help cope with pain.
Destroying Negative Emotions
Memories do not appear on their own. A song that is associated with a specific event or a soft toy will certainly cause a flood of tears or anger. Therefore, it is necessary to remove reminders and cleanse personal space from the source of pain.
It is not forbidden to think about what happened, but thoughts should be directed toward the positive. If memories cause pain, you should switch to pleasant or neutral impressions. A change in environment helps clear away negativity: from decluttering closets to new walking routes.
No bad habits
Often people try to drown out the pain with alcohol and drugs. Due to mental anguish, a person does not want to solve the problem, but seeks to escape from it through intoxication. Addictions only aggravate the situation, adding physical dependence to the experience.
Meditation can help you cope with stress if you practice regularly. A person is free to choose suitable techniques for himself, music that will set him in the right mood. Working with breathing practices will be beneficial, helping to improve concentration and restore peace of mind.
The advantage of meditation is that it does not require a strictly defined time. A person allocates as many minutes as he can spare. The habit of meditating for 5 minutes in the morning disciplines and helps to create a small binding ritual, which over time will become a pleasant reason to get up.
Read more about how to get out of stress →
Soul pain: a sign or punishment
A modern person, experiencing mental pain, perceives it as punishment. But this is not true, since it is mental suffering that helps people understand their true purpose.
Important! Pain in the soul is a sign that helps to take the path prepared by the Creator. It cannot be perceived as punishment, since the Holy Scriptures say that through suffering one gains a place in the Kingdom of God
The ability to feel mental suffering indicates that a person lives and has a chance to save this thin and fragile matter from eternal torment. The punishment is a person’s inability to hear the Voice of God transmitted through mental suffering. This means that a person’s soul has died, and his earthly existence does not lead to spiritual improvement, which helps to achieve harmony with himself and the Lord.
Pain in the soul and the desire to cry arise for various reasons. Help in all situations will be the awareness of the presence of problems, and a sincere desire to do everything possible to solve them.
What to do when your soul hurts?
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Man and woman: who is more susceptible
To answer, we must remember that both sexes belong to the same biological species. Therefore, the predisposition to suffering is practically not determined by gender. The tendency to experience mental anguish depends on temperament and resistance to stress.
The difference between a man and a woman lies in the manifestations of feelings, methods of healing.
Girls, due to the structure of neural connections, are characterized by stronger manifestations of external signs of pain:
- tears;
- screams;
- sudden mood swings, etc.
Male thinking, due to upbringing and certain social attitudes, forms a pattern that inhibits the emotional outburst of experiences. Therefore, guys often retain trauma in their souls, accumulating painful sensations that do not find a way out and can cause serious illnesses, physical or psychological.
It is typical for girls to release emotions, to “lighten the soul” next to a loved one. Of course, there are exceptions; an opposite, “closed” reaction to injury is possible, the treatment of which should be entrusted to a doctor.
In general, gender influences the tendency to experience to a lesser extent than other factors:
- education, especially instilling a reaction to pain (“men don’t cry”);
- stereotypes of a particular community;
- mental health and so on.
The tendency to suffer and the methods of struggle that everyone chooses are individual for each individual.
Causes of mental pain
Nothing in the world just happens. In order for mental pain to manifest itself, there must be compelling reasons. Each person reacts to certain stimuli, to what is most significant specifically for him. Let's take a closer look at what factors cause disruptions in the functioning of the nervous system.
Disappointments in love
Heartache from love happens incredibly often. Falling in love with a certain person, we can never guess what a new acquaintance will result in, where it will lead. Even if at first an individual made a pleasant impression on us, this does not mean that this will continue. People make mistakes, commit rash acts, offend each other. Experiencing another disappointment in love, a person often feels depressed, unwanted and lonely.
Job loss
Unfortunately, the economic situation in the country and abroad cannot be called stable. Losing a job can even lead to depression if a person does not receive moral and financial support from friends and acquaintances in time. For almost all people, one of the most terrible events is the prospect of losing money. Many people immediately begin to imagine the terrible consequences of such changes, and, above all, they relate to external prosperous life. Losing an influential position makes you feel humiliated, trampled and uninteresting. Even if great potential is hidden within a person, but there is no opportunity to somehow demonstrate it, the person will feel useless and is unlikely to quickly recover from the shock.
Losing a loved one
Sometimes completely unforeseen events happen in life: the departure of a loved one due to divorce or death. In this case, the mental pain becomes simply colossal and it is not so easy to get rid of it. In most cases, people try to remain strong and not reveal their feelings to others. This is not very helpful because true emotions are not expressed, but are suppressed under the weight of fear or shame. Losing a loved one is always very painful. It seems that the world has ceased to exist; the brain refuses to accept terrifying information for a long time.
Mental pain and its benefits for the individual
Physical sensations remind the brain that a person is alive and feels discomfort. But mental pain has the function of informing about the state of the psyche. Surprisingly, experiences are necessary for human development, since the process of overcoming and its result will later affect the personality.
The benefits of mental pain are relative, since the experience is gained through the signal “it hurts”; below are the positive aspects of the experience:
- Adaptation to change. Every crisis is accompanied by pain. Loss or breakup forces a person to look for new ways of acting, accepting his own shortcomings. The brain looks for positive aspects in the current situation; discomfort due to the novelty of the situation forces a person to move on.
- Gaining experience. Mental pain forces a person to develop and change his attitude towards a specific problem, to adapt to new conditions. After accepting a loss, a person becomes wiser, reaching a different level of development and thinking.
- Accepting personal boundaries. Pain is a manifestation of the destruction of a person’s comfortable psychological boundaries. Something valuable is lost, the loss of which is painful. Experiences change and move the boundaries of a person’s personal space, forcing him to prioritize and determine the value of each attribute of life.
- Personality acceptance. A person under stress will be able to see his shortcomings and strengths, understand the limits of his capabilities and determine the path of development.
To experience pain, you don't have to keep it inside. It is necessary to verbalize the sensations and write them down on paper. This will help to work out the cause of the pain and eliminate negative emotions.
Painkillers for children
In children, such discomfort is often caused by teething. If the child has constant pain, his sleep pattern may be disrupted, his appetite may disappear, and his temperature may rise. If your child has a toothache, you should consult a pediatrician, who may prescribe:
- taking children's pain reliever syrup;
- oral massage;
- special toys made of silicone or other soft materials designed for children to scratch their teeth on;
- teething gels and external anesthesia.
Toothache causes severe discomfort to a child, so a visit to the dentist or pediatrician should not be postponed.
How to overcome the condition?
Trauma to a person’s soul takes the longest to heal. It should be understood that in some cases “recovery” is impossible in principle; it is only possible to try not to return to the traumatic situation.
First of all, you need to establish the physical side of life: proper sleep, nutrition and rest. These simple components of ordinary life are structural elements of physical health, which also affects the psyche, that is, mental balance.
If you cannot cope with the problems of insomnia and developed depression on your own, you need to consult a specialist for medical help.
Next, you should improve your relationships with your loved ones and try to be honest with them.
This involves admitting your own problems and asking for help.
Then you should listen carefully to these people and try to accept their support and give it the opportunity to help you.
It is necessary to analyze the situation that led to mental suffering and highlight in it what can be changed and what has become irreversible. This is the most difficult element of overcoming a problem, as it involves deep introspection and overcoming one’s own contradictions.
Once you have come to terms with the inevitable and unchangeable, you need to try to let it go. Imagine yourself on a bridge, in your hands your problem and mental pain, then imagine how you throw ethyl into the river and it takes away your pain.
This visualization should be done frequently to feel relief.
Psychotherapy
If a person cannot cope with the pain on his own, it lasts a long time, it is necessary to consult a doctor for help. Sometimes it is necessary for the relatives or friends of the sufferer to take this step, since the victim himself does not see the point in treatment.
Working with a psychologist allows a person to speak out and overcome fears in a timely manner. Seeing a doctor should not be regarded as a sign of weakness, rather the opposite. The ability to recognize that help is needed is a sign of strength and maturity.
How to treat?
There are no universal solutions or approaches to healing mental suffering. However, some general recommendations are highlighted:
You need to talk through your experiences and discuss them with an understanding and close person. It is important to take all possible measures to practically solve the problem. If the measures taken do not work, you should admit that you did everything in your power. You need to learn to accept facts as given and not fight them.
You should constantly tune yourself to a positive attitude towards reality. It is useful to please yourself with something pleasant and special for encouragement and support. You need to establish successful activities in any area, be it work or cleaning the house, in order to feel your own strength. Soberly assess your problems, solutions and opportunities.
When you feel lousy at heart, there is no single cure for pain, but there are always people who are ready to help you with this. So above all, don't be afraid to show your weaknesses to those you trust. When you feel bad in your soul, sharing this state helps to reduce it.
Causes
All reasons for experiencing pain in the soul, as mentioned above, can be divided into two groups:
- first – diseases (mental disorders and behavioral disorders),
- the second is psychological (psychogenic), conflicts between “real” and “desired” (true neuroses).
Help with mental pain
It is possible and necessary to help a person experiencing mental pain.
In some cases, help means conversation and support or, conversely, isolation and temporary loneliness.
In others, neurometabolic therapy using special methods of psychotherapy and medications, constant strict supervision by the attending physician.
Unfortunately, there is no universal remedy for mental pain. Each case requires an individual solution.
Causes of mental pain
To get rid of a burdensome feeling, you need to understand the reason for its appearance. And this sometimes turns out to be the most difficult thing on the path to getting rid of pain. The causes of mental pain are obvious and hidden.
Mental pain weakens a person both spiritually and physically
Obvious reasons
- The most common obvious cause is the death of a loved one. In this case, mental pain cannot be completely cured. But in some cases, it can be alleviated by talking about the departed person with people around him, good deeds done on his behalf, and even tears. But the greatest relief will be brought by sincere prayers to the Lord.
- A difficult psychological situation that a person keeps to himself, trying to solve it alone or forget about it. And in this situation, it is necessary to share your experiences with a more experienced person. This could be a relative, a close friend, or a priest who can bear the narrator's emotions, give guidance, or provide assistance.
- Dying of the soul due to lack of spiritual food. According to church dogmas, every soul is created to live next to the Lord in His Grace. But most modern people do not remember this, indulging in vain worldly affairs and not paying attention to the signals of a sick soul. You can cure it by repenting of your unrighteous thoughts, desires and actions. After this, one should not forget about prayers and good deeds that feed the soul with God’s Grace.
On a note! Priests say that suppressing mental pain negatively affects physical and mental health. If a person is afraid to share his experiences with people, then he always has the opportunity to turn to the Lord for help, who, by His mercy, will comfort and help his children.
Implicit reasons
The emotional experiences that arise during an outwardly happy life are difficult to identify and even more difficult to cure. There are several most common reasons for their occurrence.
Suppressing emotional pain negatively affects physical and mental health
- Human life does not correspond to the path intended by the Creator. It often happens that an outwardly successful person who has a good job, an interesting hobby, and respect in society loses the desire to do usual things. He becomes apathetic, depressed and withdrawn. At the same time, he himself cannot explain his condition. In fact, these are signals from the soul, saying that the place a person occupies is not intended for him. By not paying attention to them and continuing to engage in familiar but disgusting activities, people drive themselves into despair, which ends with sad consequences for both the physical and spiritual body of a person. To correct the situation you will need willpower, faith in yourself and in the help of the Lord. Leaving your usual life is difficult and scary. But by doing what he loves, a person finds peace of mind and begins to live in harmony with himself and with the Almighty.
- You can often observe a situation where a person, surrounded by a large number of acquaintances, friends and even relatives, feels lonely and is burdened by the usual society. The soul rushes about in a physical cage, dooming it to gradual exhaustion, since without love and understanding peace of mind and peace are impossible. Being afraid to go beyond the usual social circle, a person deprives himself of the opportunity to discover new people, communication with whom will bring peace to the soul, since it will be on the same wavelength with their spiritual shells.
- The substitution of true values is one of the main reasons for mental pain in modern society. People strive for material well-being, recognition in society, high social status, forgetting that this is all decay. Before the face of the Lord, everyone will be equal, and only lifetime good deeds and prayers of loving loved ones will save the soul from torment at the hour of God’s judgment. This was precisely the Creator’s intention, which he recalls through pain in his soul.
Important things about Orthodoxy:
Why does my soul hurt?
People perceive sadness differently. For some, the loss of a job will be a signal of change for the better; for others, a withered flowerbed turns into a tragedy. However, some events and situations can cause suffering in the soul of almost every person. These include:
- loss of loved ones;
- breakdown of relationships, lack of reciprocity;
- loneliness;
- impossibility of self-realization;
- disappointment - in people, in the work of one’s life, in one’s abilities;
- guilt;
- feeling of worthlessness;
- unattainability of the goal.
The best way to relieve anxiety is to solve the problem. You can make peace with your partner, find friends, and reconsider your ambitions if you wish. But what to do if the cause cannot be eliminated? How to deal with such cases?
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How to cope with severe mental pain?
If you can change the situation that causes suffering, then this is where you need to start. For example, if you have conflicts at work, plan a job change or try to find common ground with colleagues
If you are worried about your self-esteem, pay attention to improving it. And so on
However, there are situations that we cannot change: divorce, loss of a loved one, betrayal. In this case, it is worth paying attention to your experiences. There are several ways to reduce their intensity and relieve pain.
You are much stronger than you think
The belief that you must feel bad for a long time creates the habit of negatively assessing events and prolongs the experience. In fact, the psyche is more like an elastic band than a fragile vase - it can bend, but then return to its previous level. Believe that you can handle this situation, even if that prospect seems unrealistic right now.
2. Find positive aspects in what happened
An important condition for post-traumatic growth. In any situation you can see what makes you stronger or better
This does not mean that you should rejoice in your grief. What happened is painful. But this situation can help you understand yourself better. For example, having miraculously escaped death, you can learn to appreciate every day. After parting with your loved one, focus your energy on your own development. Having avoided an attack, make sure of your own strength and resilience. And so on.
Be active, don't close yourself off
There is no need to avoid communication and lock yourself at home. The heartache of love or loneliness goes away better if you actively interact and communicate with other people. Any group physical activity, volunteering and helping other people will do.
Make time for action, not worry.
Research shows that focusing on one's feelings worsens a person's well-being and deprives him of vitality. On the contrary, shifting the focus of attention to actions helps relieve mental pain. You shouldn’t completely forget about your feelings, but it’s better to think not about why you need all this, but about what to do next and what to do.
About mental pain and how we treat it
From the position of the average person, this kind of pain will be perceived through the phrases: “the soul hurts,” “there is a stone in the chest,” “heavy thoughts.” We see that in fact, people draw the concept of mental pain mainly from folk wisdom, their own experience and the experience of previous generations. However, on the practical side of the issue, how you can help yourself more professionally, it turns out that this knowledge is not enough. If everything is clear with physical pain, since there is a clear algorithm for action to cure the disease, then internal pain is more difficult and difficult to cope with. Often we can observe the picture that a person in such a situation does not know at all what to do and how to help himself cope with something that is “broken inside.” He remains blind to his needs, because pain is precisely about the need for something (attention, self-care). A person “keeps” the pain within himself and can continue to drift in his condition, in the hope that everything will “work itself out” and “time will heal.”
