22.02.2016
Hi all! Today we’ll talk about how to organize your life. Many years ago my life was a madhouse. Things to do, worries, tasks, calls, running around, chaos, a lot of projects, every day, like the last, in the morning, like a fire...
Each day could not accommodate the entire volume of activities and events, so I lived as best I could. I did what now seemed more important, or what could no longer be put off. All my victories in life were achieved only through a wild amount of work and waste of energy. In principle, I was happy with everything, I even liked it. This feeling of fullness in life is a driving force, always at work.
The problem is that in a disordered life there is a lot of stress. It's starting to get annoying. It is very energy-consuming, you begin to get tired of it.
An orderly life, in my understanding, does not mean that you walk to the line and look like a robot, that you get up only at exactly 5 am and no earlier and no later, that this flower is in the right corner, the bedside table is in the left, exercise from the phone only to this box...
The word that best describes an orderly life is CLEAR LIFE. You clearly understand what you are doing, why, where you are going, what needs to be done. You don’t have the stress of having too much to do but little use; there’s no inner satisfaction.
It all started for me when I first got a management position at my place of work, and then opened my own business. I had to put my time, affairs, and tasks in order, since how the whole organization would work depended on this, but this was not enough for complete victory. It’s not enough to just arrange things in your diary and throw out unnecessary things from life; it’s also important to put things in order in your inner world, routine, and goals.
1) Start with spring cleaning
The KonMari method of the Japanese Marie Kondo can help you with this. Basic principles: throw away non-working, broken, damaged, expired items from the house; get rid of junk that doesn't bring you joy. Literally, put absolutely all your clothes in a pile, take each one in your hands and ask yourself: “Does this really make me happy?” Maybe the dress is still fashionable, and it’s a pity to throw it away, but you failed the interview in it, and now every time you interact with it you wear a feeling of disappointment and universal sadness. Yes, it will not be easy, but only by getting rid of the old will you make room for the new.
Don't panic if something goes wrong
It often happens that all our plans collapse. For example, today you wanted to finish a report, buy a new table, swim in the pool. All your plans had to be canceled due to a child’s illness or a flood in the apartment.
Don't panic, calm down. In life there will always be a place for accidents and surprises, and not always pleasant ones.
Think about how you can get out of this situation. Maybe you can finish the report at home, order a table online, and take a bath instead of the pool.
If nothing can be done, just adjust your plans for the coming week.
2) Mental cleansing
Our brain is like a computer, and when you decide to achieve/accomplish/receive/do, you open another “tab” in your head. And you don’t close everything. We got tired, forgot, routine, urgent tasks - anything happens. Lists of obligations, promises, agreements accumulate, overloading your “processor”. The solution is simple - write down everything that is in your head right now, including the “hanging fruits” that have been poisoning your existence for many years. Divide them into three categories: what I can do right now (will take up to 10 minutes); what can I delegate; which is no longer relevant and can simply be crossed out. Large tasks need to be divided into sub-items and ranked again. Voila, your action plan is ready, get started.
Learn to put things back in their place
You will only have a little time if you try to save the labor of cleaning, that is, learn to put things back in their place.
If you have a family, you will have to put in a lot more effort. If all your family members are accustomed to throwing clothes and things wherever they please, we can only sympathize with you.
The main thing is not to despair. You can teach them a few lessons, for example, to hide an abandoned item.
Of course, before you train your loved ones, start with yourself. Perhaps after you set a good example, they will happily begin to live by the new rules.
3) Digital detox
Clear your mail and bring the number of inboxes to the coveted “0”. Open all unread SMS messages on your phone and instant messengers, and then audit all correspondence, groups, and chats. These are attention and time wasters; here the “delete” and “switch the chat to silent mode” button will help you.
Carefully review the entire information flow on your social networks, unsubscribe from irrelevant and annoying topics, blogs, people, news channels, and mailings. The best thing to do is stop watching TV.
Give attention to your loved ones
Set aside some time every day to connect with loved ones. Let it be 15 minutes, but you will devote this time completely to your husband, son or daughter.
Children suffer the most from lack of attention. Such small time blocks will establish contact and they will stop feeling abandoned.
Set aside 15 minutes in the morning, 15 minutes in the evening - on weekdays this is quite enough. No one is suggesting that you abandon your child to their fate by limiting communication to a quarter of an hour.
Of course, he won’t go anywhere, he will get in the way while you prepare dinner and clean up. It’s just that at this time you are busy with other things, so you won’t be able to fully focus on your child.
Understand where your energy goes
In positive psychotherapy there is the concept of “balance model”. Its meaning is that a person only has 100% of the time (energy/attention) that he devotes to four areas. These areas are as follows: 1) Body: sports, health, nutrition, sleep; 2) Activities: science, work, training, career; 3) Contacts - communication with family, colleagues, friends; 4) Future (Meaning) - intuition, self-development, plans for the future, faith, values. An equal division is considered normal - 25% for each of the areas, otherwise the area that receives insufficient attention will remind itself in the form of a problem. Analyze your life to understand where you are too much and where you are not at all.
Let's start with something simple: order in affairs and tasks.
To put things in order, you need to start taking them into account and analyzing them. Usually they try to keep things in their heads, where they regularly fall out, and there is no time and energy for analysis.
It all starts with a banal diary, which helps distribute tasks over a time interval, helps you see how many things you can really cram into your life, and makes it possible to analyze every day, mark the priority of the tasks that you are planning.
This is a purely logical, somewhat dry topic. Watch the video below where everything will be explained in detail.
Details in the video:
The next thing that needs to be sorted out is your daily routine, diet, lifestyle
As I already said, putting things in order is only the beginning of the journey. For life to really become orderly and clarity to appear in your head, one diary is not enough. You can sort everything out, remove time wasters, learn to say “no” to things that you don’t want to see in your life, identify tasks that have the lowest priority and should be mercilessly thrown out of life... This is not enough.
There is a problem. Passion. Because we are too immersed in routine, worries, troubles, material tasks, we begin to live at the level of the body. The spiritual level is switched off, but we are not only a body that wants to eat deliciously, sleep sweetly, not only a person who wants to prove to others that it is worth something, who wants to buy a new iPhone or a new foreign car... We are also a soul. We have other needs too. If we do not live like a soul, but only satisfy the needs of the body, then there will be no feeling of harmony in life... There will still be something wrong...
I have already written about the importance of a daily routine and how to get up early in articles:
How to learn to get up early in the morning
Here's a video:
How to change from an owl to a lark
Here's a video:
I will not repeat myself, but believe me: this definitely needs to be worked out in order to solve the issue that we are discussing in this article.
On nutrition, I recommend my article “Vegetarianism: benefit or harm” or the article by Vadim, a participant in the KRS project, who spoke very well about how to become a healthy person.
The key word here is purity. A clean lifestyle (diet, routine, activity) gives clear thinking, clear thoughts, and cleanses the heart. Clutter is not associated with cleanliness.
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All you need is to start working with checklists and plan everything properly in advance. Be sure to write lists. For example, this is how I write a menu for the week or a physical activity plan.
Alternative views
With a strict lifestyle, a person strives to show only the behavior that is approved by society. He wants to please everyone and demonstrate his trustworthiness.
Important! The individual places very high demands on others that are difficult to meet.
In psychology, such behavior is viewed as excessive perfectionism, which leads to bad consequences.
The individual does not always adhere to a healthy existence. Someone goes into a riotous lifestyle. Such a person strives to have fun, he puts his desires above all else. May be prone to bad habits.
An individual may have different lifestyles, for example, a combination of a healthy lifestyle and an active lifestyle. During his existence, he will change his habits more than once.
Creation
In her book, Elizaveta Nikolaevna pays great attention to creativity, but the sequence and age of acquaintance with various types of creativity differs from modern ones.
- Drawing . Drawing classes are offered from the age of 3. The first lessons using stencils are to trace objects of simple shapes and make prints of leaves.
- Cutting and applique are introduced at 4 years of age.
- Modeling ( in the 19th century it was sculpted with clay, blue was considered the best) is recommended from 4 years of age.
- Laying out drawings and patterns in geometric shapes with splinters, matches, and rings is recommended from 5 years of age.
- Laying out mosaics, pricking and embroidering is recommended from 5 years of age.
- Weaving from various materials (ribbons, paper);
- Impressions with wax.
- Casting molds from plaster.
Comparing the age for getting acquainted with creativity with the modern one, you can see that E.N. Vodovozova prefers to slowly immerse the child in a developmental environment. This corresponds to the statements of M.M. Bezrukikh (head of the Institute of Developmental Physiology of the Russian Academy of Education) about the importance of choosing age-appropriate activities. In my opinion, premature creativity can still give more positive than negative. A child aged 1-2 years is not ready for design and creative thinking, but he is quite ready to get acquainted with the textures of the materials used, their physical properties and purposes:
- the glue is sticky and can be used to glue paper;
- plasticine perfectly develops fine motor skills and activities with it are very interesting for very young children;
- The paints are multi-colored; you can use them to change the colors of objects.
Unlike classes in the early learning of foreign languages, reading and arithmetic, premature creative activities are not afraid of energy theft. Let me remind you that this is a phenomenon in which areas of the brain that are actively developing experience a deficit of energy, while other areas receive an excess.
According to Vodovozova, creativity is proposed to be included in the daily cycle of classes, along with other types of classes.
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO REDO EVERYTHING
First, admit that it’s true that everything cannot be changed.
I tried to complete everything on my list, but at the end of the day I was only frustrated that I didn’t have time to do much: the house was a mess, and my email inbox was full of tasks that also needed to be completed. And yet the next morning I wake up and for some reason unknown to me I again think that today I will definitely cope with all my affairs, but in the end it turns out the same thing again. Coming to terms with the fact that some things will never get done, or will get done but someday later, is an important part of our attempts to organize our lives. This may be a hard pill to swallow if you're a perfectionist like me, but that's life.
Secondly,
After coming to terms with the idea that you will not be able to complete all the planned tasks,
it is important to come to God and ask Him to help you understand which tasks and responsibilities really need to be done daily and which ones do not.
Every morning we should come to God in prayer and ask Him what should be on our to-do list today. I admit that I don’t always do this and sometimes I pay more attention to my to-do list than to God. And I noticed that on such days I am more tired than usual, I am exhausted and exhausted. And when at the beginning of the day I come to God and ask Him what I should focus on today, then even if I have not completed all the things on my list, I will still experience inner peace and satisfaction that I did what I wanted to do. God showed me this morning. I stopped looking for satisfaction by checking how many things on my list I was able to accomplish, and I stopped considering what I thought was important, and began to focus on what God considers important to me and my life.
