Friend, hello!
I received many replies to my last letter
– we talked there about how to learn to “fly” and I suggested that throughout the day you be aware of your responsibility for everything that happens to you, using the practice “it’s my choice.”
Continuing the theme of flying, today I want to introduce you to a few “Jonathans” among us.
Because when I write about my path, many may think: “well, yes, you did it because you are young/studied at MGIMO/you had money/you don’t have children...”
Let's face it, we're experts at making up excuses for ourselves. Fortunately, reality does not have to match our fantasies and I see more and more seagulls spreading their wings every day.
You see what’s the matter, over the last couple of years, dozens, if not hundreds of stories from a variety of people have been passing before my eyes - they write letters to me, ask for advice, share their experiences, and of course, communicate with participants in seminars and courses….
And I see how someone makes a breakthrough in a fairly short period of time - soars up and soars, while someone, on the contrary, stagnate in one place for months and years...
I became interested in figuring out why this happens?
Watching how people change their lives for the better, I noticed one pattern - all success stories have one thing in common.
Moreover, the stories themselves can be completely different - people of different genders, ages and statuses, from different continents and, of course, with different problems in life...
But there is still one principle that underlies the success of each such story - I call it the formula of internal transformation.
Today I decided to show you behind the scenes of my project and share with you a few stories that I have had the opportunity to observe lately.
I specially selected different stories for you. Well, for example, a story about:
- how one girl found her calling by opening her own surf camp in Spain; or
- how one man put things in order in his head and got rid of neurosis, which the best doctors tried unsuccessfully to cure for five years; or
- how one woman pulled herself out of depression - again without pills or doctors; or
- how one girl learned to live in harmony with herself - regardless of changing external circumstances...
However, I am ready to share these stories with you on one condition. I would like you to not just read them, because that is of little use. Agree, every day we learn a lot of stories, but so what? What is changing in our lives?
Through the prism of these different stories, I want you to see the unifying principle - the pattern I’m talking about.
Therefore, I give my short comments to each of the stories to make it clearer.
Having discovered this pattern, I became more insightful - now, reading hundreds of letters, I can accurately determine who is really ready to change their life (and who is most likely to succeed!), and who just wants to talk about it and this is another blessing. blah blah.
Therefore, I am confident that when you yourself see the principle underlying the changes, you will be able to better understand other people (=read between the lines), but more importantly, you will be able to better understand yourself and clearly see what is holding you back on your path of development.
Don't be afraid to start changing, be afraid not to start!
©xudeuleila
I’ve been chubby all my life, and when I got married and became pregnant, I gained 32 extra kg in 9 months. I was depressed. I ate a lot, or rather ate. I just opened the refrigerator and used everything that caught my eye: sausage, cookies... But one day, seeing myself in the photo, I decided: “Leilochka, stop eating!”
I got up at 5 in the morning and ran around the snow-covered stadium, and stopped eating all kinds of crap. The first month of training brought zero results, but that didn’t stop me. I cried, was nervous, but went ahead. And then I took up my nutrition, began to create recipes for proper nutrition, and the realization came that nothing is impossible.
When going on the warpath with excess weight, do not think that your family, friends or acquaintances should support you. You can do without this. The main thing is to have a goal. I wanted and I managed to get rid of 32 extra kg! Therefore, do not be afraid to start changing, be afraid not to start!
Story #6: Anna, northern Russia
- Request/problem:
?? - Responsibility assumed:
?? - Conscious decision/choice:
?? - Result:
read below in the letter, highlighted in bold italics.
“My little hobby appeared in my life) or how to say “hobby”, which I fell in love with. I went into my own little “world” every morning. After practice, theory and meditation, I returned to everyday activities completely different. Fears and anxieties gradually faded into the background. The first time I just completed the course automatically and with breaks, but the second time I completed it completely, I simply fell in love with it. There were many problems in my life at the time of taking the course, I didn’t know whether I would finally get a higher education, what to do with my attitude towards myself, I experienced a bunch of complexes and self-rejection. There were a lot of grievances, I spent years thinking about plans for revenge on some people. And sometimes there was a feeling of detachment and hatred towards all humanity as a whole.
I visited psychotherapists, but I probably did something wrong.
These feelings and sensations did not go away from them. And then, when I began to honestly listen to theory after practice, and then meditation,
performed by the practice of “metta,” I noticed that I could no longer carry this burden within myself.
All. I have no strength, and all the pain came out in tears in this meditation. On the 17th day of the course, I woke up in the morning as a completely different person.
It was easy for me. I wanted to live, breathe, enjoy the sun, these are inexplicable feelings) Most importantly, the feeling of worthlessness left me. Previously, I was very afraid to go to a foreign city, it seemed to me that everyone was looking at me and seeing my shortcomings, etc. And this time I went to the session, with the feeling, as in theory you said, that no matter where I am, I’m at home) Igor, now instead of thoughts I can just enjoy the trip, the view from the window, for example) Thank you) !!! !!!”
Note:
This story may seem to leave the issue of personal responsibility and motivation unexplored. But this is not true - let's not forget the context: this girl, like the people in all the other stories, proved their high motivation, firstly, by the fact that they decided to join a paid meditation course, and secondly, that What’s even more telling is that they all completed the course completely: for some it took three weeks, for others several months, but they reached the finish line.
If a person does not realize his responsibility for his life, then why on earth would he even decide to change his consciousness through meditation?
Praise yourself for any achievements!
©yagnetinskaya
After giving birth to similar children, I gained 22 kg. My weight suddenly “crept” up and I saw a terrible number on the scales - 82 kg. Then I accepted that I would forever remain a “big aunt.” But at some point I thought: “Olya – you are the girl’s mother, what example are you setting for her?” I pulled myself together and started eating... the right food. After 7 months, I said goodbye to 18 kg of fat, went to the gym, realizing that nothing is impossible!
If you want to lose weight, don’t start “on Monday”, after your brother’s “second cousin’s anniversary”, start right today - on Friday. Don't think that the weight will go away in two days. Nothing happens quickly, but everything is possible!
Stop scolding yourself all the time for “failure”, for eating a cake, for oversleeping, for a planned workout, for losing 300 grams and not 4 kg in a week. This is depressing! Praise yourself for any achievements, for every candy you don’t eat at night and every squat! Love yourself and believe in yourself! Only then will you reach the finish line!
Taikichiro Mori
Professor Taikichiro Mori taught trading theory at Yokohama University for many years. In 1959, after the death of his rice farmer father, Mori inherited the family's modest business and began investing in real estate, buying land that had fallen significantly in value after World War II. At 55, he retired from university and founded the Mori Building Company in central Tokyo. The company, which Mori managed for decades, built more than a hundred skyscrapers in Japan and China.
Mori twice - in 1991 and 1992 - took first place in the ranking of the richest people in the world according to Forbes. At that time, his net worth was $13 billion.
"I feel uncomfortable. After all, I live and work at my own pace all this time and only now have I received such attention,” Mori said in an interview with reporters after the publication of the Forbes rating.
Despite his wealth, he lived modestly, abstained from smoking and drinking alcohol, and wore a simple black kimono to work.
Maury died of heart failure at the age of 88, leaving behind a huge fortune.
Photo: Mamyrock
Your goals must be specific!
©sega_kutove
At school I was the most ordinary guy, a little “in the body”. Although, to be honest, it hardly bothered me. I had friends and no problems, but after the accident in which I lost my leg, my weight skyrocketed. The reason for this was the lack of physical activity and endless “lunches”. After 9 months spent in the hospital, I weigh 110 kg. But this didn’t upset me either, I started training at home, and then went... to the gym.
If you can't lose weight, figure out why you need all this running around losing excess weight. Sit down, think and write down why you need this? Your goals must be specific!
And when the realization comes, start eating right, drink a lot of water, go to the gym. Become the best version of yourself to be happier! After all, if I, a guy without a leg, lost 52 kg in 1.5 years and got a beautiful body, then what’s stopping you from trying to change your life? We humans have conquered space. Can't we conquer ourselves?
New life: coming to terms with divorce and writing a novel
To start a new life after a high-profile divorce from Francois Hollande, the former first lady... wrote a book. Valerie Trierweiler says releasing this novel was vital to turning the page. Almost 600 thousand copies sold out in a matter of weeks, the author was included in the list of the most read French-language authors of the year.
“Thank you for this moment” is a confessional book where Valerie paints a portrait of Francois Hollande in more than unflattering colors. In the media, the first lady was condemned and criticized for such frankness, but readers send her hundreds of supportive letters, recognizing themselves in her stories. A pocket version has already been published and a film adaptation is being prepared, and Valerie herself assures that the original therapy has worked, the grievances have spilled out onto paper and she is ready to start a new life without this burden. Valerie will not write anymore about the years spent married to the president - she no longer wants to remember, she wants to move forward.
How to change your life: be prepared to work at any time of the day
©vitaliy_rus_vitaliy
It doesn’t take much intelligence to think that the wide bone is to blame for everything, but this stopped suiting me when my weight reached 152 kg. Then I once and for all correctly set my priorities in my head and stopped having the illusion that I could live differently! I myself created a weight loss program for myself, having thoroughly studied information about proper nutrition and metabolic processes. And the result was not long in coming. In the first 10 months of training, I lost 54 kg (from 152 kg to 98 kg). Now my weight is 81 kg.
If you decide to lose weight, remember that discipline is one of the most important issues that requires close attention on the path to getting rid of fat. You should always eat right, play active sports, and don’t skip workouts. Be prepared to work at any time of the day. It doesn't matter when: 7:00 am or 11:00 pm. The main thing is that the task is completed!
Vera Wang
The famous wedding designer Vera Wang was a professional figure skater until she was 18 and dreamed of a sports career. She placed in the top five twice at the US Junior National Championships and was even featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Alas, Vera’s dreams were not destined to come true: she did not make the Olympic team. Even then she began to think about a career as a designer. Vera received a degree in art history from Sarah Lawrence College. As a student, she met the editor of American Vogue, who invited her to an internship. At the age of 23, she became a fashion editor and devoted 17 years to the glossy, but could not give up her dream of becoming a designer. At the age of 40, Vera decided to start her own business and soon opened her own salon of wedding and evening dresses.
“Was it difficult to launch your own business after 17 years at Vogue, starting from scratch at 40? I'd be lying if I said no. After all, all the doors that are open to you during status work slam shut when you start working “on your own.” I felt like a debutant graduate and liked to joke in interviews that I was not a young designer, but an old new designer,” recalls Vera.
Now Vera Wang dresses Victoria Beckham, Ivanka Trump, Kim Kardashian and other celebrities. The designer not only makes wedding and evening dresses, but also produces costumes for figure skaters, perfumes and glasses. In 2021, Wong was ranked 29th on America's Richest Self-Made Women by Forbes.
Photo: Katsumi Kasahara/AP/TASS
Control yourself!
©bakylina_sport_pp
Previously, I weighed 80 kg with a height of 164 cm. How did it come to this? It's simple. For some time I returned from work at 2-3 o’clock in the morning and always “via” McDonald’s, and throughout the day I ate only sandwiches, rolls or chocolate. A sedentary lifestyle and lack of motivation soon took their toll and I turned into a chubby person. And then one day I decided that it was time to stop and took care of myself. The first thing I did was switch to proper nutrition. In 5 months I lost 22 kg. My current weight is 56 kg. But this does not mean that now I cannot afford to sit with friends in a cafe or eat a hamburger. Against. I have a negative attitude towards diets and “magic” diet pills. To make your body beautiful, you need to “plow” and control yourself! After all, a person’s main motivation is his reflection in the mirror!
Call your parents more often
Most 30-year-olds spend all their time busy with family matters, their own careers, and in this cycle they forget to maintain relationships with their parents.
Remember that your parents are also getting older and that they are not forever. If you don’t take enough care of them, then there may not be such an opportunity and you will regret it.
Call your parents regularly. Just to find out how you are doing and let them know you're okay. This will support their mental and emotional well-being and make your relationship warmer and stronger. Visit them whenever possible.
Find someone with whom you won't be afraid to go to the gym
©Jenn Flores
When I decided to change my life, my weight was 108 kg. Of course, this didn’t suit me very much, but I was still that lazy person. One day I wanted to do the Color Run marathon. To do this, you had to walk 5 km and survive being showered with colored powder - this is a prerequisite for the marathon. At work, I told a colleague about my plans, not even suspecting that she would also want to go through this test with me.
During lunch she submitted our applications for participation and then I thought: “This is really happening.” After this marathon, we started playing sports regularly. Every day, towards the end of the working day, we ran along the beach. At first I was very tired, but then I learned to enjoy sports. It worked and I lost 27kg in 16 months. If you're scared to go to the gym on your own, find someone with whom you won't be scared to go to the gym. This is very motivating!
Story #7: Daria, Moscow
- Request/problem:
?? - Responsibility assumed:
?? - Conscious decision/choice:
?? - Result:
read below in the letter, highlighted in bold italics.
“Hello, Igor! :) I want to thank you for your course! The fact is that I have suffered from severe migraines all my life, they are always with me))
Always after a hard day or because of the weather, at least once a week a migraine began with severe pain and nausea, only pills helped and I got used to taking them rather, because it still wouldn’t go away, even if I went to bed.
I heard that this is psychosomatics and a psychologist I know told me about it, well, cool, of course, it was very useful information, considering that they didn’t tell me to do anything about it)))) And so I decided to try it when it starts migraine or is it already in full swing, try to count your breath and concentrate only on this, I thought at least try to reduce the pain, imagine my surprise when my migraine completely began to pass
, I don’t know if this will always work and I do it differently every time I breathe sometimes faster, sometimes slower, sometimes deeper, sometimes less, but the fact is that this is how many times it was possible to remove it completely without pills! :)) In general, this is my pleasant discovery after your course! This is actually very cool, I don’t know if this would help all people with migraines, otherwise it can be distributed as a remedy for it, but it helps me)) In general, thank you again! I’ll continue to meditate, maybe I’ll discover something else interesting :)”
Don't be afraid to set goals again and again
©arinayourfitpal
My weight gain occurred during a three-year period of illness. Having recovered, without thinking for a day, I immediately grabbed myself by the scruff of the neck with iron fists. I worked a lot on myself: I played sports, ate right, kept a diary. I didn’t count every fold of fat that appeared on my sides and didn’t “hang out” on weight loss sites. I just knew exactly what I wanted to achieve and why.
In the process of losing weight, it is very important to set a clear goal. If your goal looks like this: “I want to lose weight,” this is not a goal, but just a desire. You are moving towards a goal, but your desires are in your head. The goal should look like this: “I want to lose 4 kg in a month, 7 in two, 10 in three.” Always track your results clearly. If you get lost, it's not scary. Don't be afraid to set goals again and again. I also didn’t manage to lose weight right away, but in the period from 2012 to 2015 I lost weight from 91 kg to 53 (maximum 46 kg).
Not everyone can fly into space, only a few can conquer Everest, a select few can become an Olympic champion, but what about losing weight? Everyone can lose weight!
The main thing is not to back up!
©paleo_wanderlust
When I recovered, I realized that if I don’t stop in time, I could forever be stuck in a not-so-comfortable body. The extra 32 kg didn’t give me peace of mind, but they didn’t want to leave. Then I went to the gym.
I will never forget my first lesson. Right in the hall, I burst into tears loudly, sat down on the floor, and people looked at me in bewilderment. I cried and thought: “If I leave now, it will mean that I have lost.” And I pulled myself together. I lost 32 kg in 2 years. It was hard, but I did it, and that means you can too!
It may be very difficult for you now, but with each new day it will be much easier for you to study. The main thing is not to back up!
Story #3: Yana, New Zealand
- Request/problem:
learn to maintain harmony within, regardless of changes in external circumstances; working through fears - Taken responsibility:
my inner peace and state of harmony is my personal responsibility - Conscious decision/choice:
activities that maintain a harmonious internal state should be regular and systematic, meditation should become a natural part of life. - The result obtained:
watch the video below (if you are in a hurry, then from 7.30)
Determine what is stopping you from moving forward
©Vanessa Nelson
For a long time I could not lose weight. At first I decided to lose a couple of dozen extra pounds, and then I “slowed down” the process of my own transformation. And all because I was afraid to change. I doubted myself, I thought that I would never get thin. But at some point I got tired of hiding behind fear and I went to a psychologist. After the first session, I felt that the fear was going away and I was ready for changes.
If you can't lose weight, determine what is stopping you from moving forward. When you “remove” the obstacle, the process of working on yourself will speed up. I overcame my fear and lost 32 kg in 5 months.
Story #2: Nikolai, St. Petersburg
- Request/problem:
advanced form of neurosis, panic attacks that interfere with leading a normal lifestyle, being productive and enjoying life. - Taken responsibility:
I take full responsibility for my health. The uncontrollable restlessness of the mind is also my responsibility. - Conscious decision/choice:
learn to “get along” with your mind. Master a technique that allows you to consciously and independently calm your mind at any time - without pills and psychotherapists. - Result:
read below in the letter, highlighted in bold italics.
“Igorek, hello, dear sansei, 2 weeks ago I completed the course. Immediately after finishing the course, I began to take it again, but no longer repeated one lesson ten times, but one at a time. As you know, my neglected neurosis motivated me. I understood that neurosis is from the head, it is the lack of the ability to turn off your brain
, who begins to completely control you and slide you into the abyss of suffering.
Therefore, like air, I needed an effective practice of turning off the mind. So, after 4 years of meaningless wanderings to the most expensive psychoanalysts, I came to meditation.
My expectations were met 1000%. I literally rose from the dead. Almost everything has changed in my life.
I’ll say a few words about what advanced neurosis is. This is when you sleep for 12 hours straight and then you can’t get out of bed, you can’t even raise your arms because you have absolutely no strength. You take a book and cannot read a single line in it. You understand all the words, but you can't put them into sentences because you have a complete lack of concentration. You are filled to the brim with fears, panic attacks, depression, suffering and absolute self-doubt. Now, as you know, everything has changed.
The energy is overflowing, I am active and effective 18 hours a day, my brain works like a razor (but only as a tool that I use, not as my master, and there is no longer an equal sign between me and my brain, I have become MUCH bigger than my brain, because I learned to observe it). Igor, the course is beyond praise. I honestly think it's the best product on the market. I love absolutely everything and am grateful for absolutely everything in your course with all my heart. Your support is awesome. It amazes me that you take the time to support everyone, and you communicate not like a mega guru from a pedestal, but like a good friend who is always there. Igor, dear friend, thank you again for everything. And thank you to the Lord for giving us the opportunity to meet in this life. See you later, hugs!”
Get out of your comfort zone more often!
©ceceeven
When I decided to take care of myself, my weight was 102 kg. It was terribly hard: working out every day, eating right, waiting for results and trying not to cry. Over the course of a year, I lost 45 kg. But I must admit that now my body still doesn’t look perfect. I understand this, but I’m not upset, because I love myself and am proud of my achievements. I still have some work to do. That's why I don't stop there and visit the gym every day.
If you want to achieve results, get out of your comfort zone more often, force yourself to take the first step, and then it will be easier. Losing weight takes a long time, so keep in mind that you will need a lot of patience and persistence! And if now you are “stuck” halfway, ask yourself why you did it before, and move on.
Fauju Singha
The turbaned hurricane, Fauju Singha, born in 1911, is a role model in several ways. The Indian man lived most of his life as a farmer. However, changes came in the measured and calm life after the onset of a dark streak in Fauju’s life. In a short period of time, he lost several loved ones and could only find solace in running. He first took part in the race at the age of 89 and very soon became world famous. The marathon runner has several Guinness records, a successful advertising campaign with Adidas, as well as a ton of motivation for those who are just starting to find themselves in adulthood. Today Fauj is 110 years old, a vegetarian who continues to actively pursue his dreams and set an example for the whole world.
If you want to change your life, stop being afraid!
©possiblepat
This summer it will be exactly 4 years since I decided to change my life. During this time I lost 153 kg, but this is still not the limit of my dreams. To say that it was hard for me is to say nothing. I have survived fatty liver disease, diabetes, multiple injuries, high blood pressure. Therefore, now I am sure that no one and nothing will stop me on the way to my goal!
Remember, if you want to change your life, stop being afraid! Eradicate fear from your soul once and for all. Don't let it control your thoughts, mood and life. When you learn to control your mind, you will learn to control your body. After this, you will see that there are no restrictions, you are a free person who made the right and conscious choice!
Author: Tatyana Krysyuk
Formula for Internal Transformation
My observations of my life and the stories of change of dozens of people allowed me to notice one pattern - I call it the formula of internal transformation.
Here is the formula:
“acceptance of responsibility >>> conscious decision >>> desired result”
I'll explain now.
All the successful stories of change that I have met begin with one thing - with the fact that a person REALIZES that everything in his life is his full responsibility, his choice.
That’s why I suggested to you last time the “it’s my choice” practice. It's great that someone is already starting to realize this.
The first and most difficult step has been taken!
This is what is important: awareness of your responsibility is NOT pessimistic - “everything is already predetermined and nothing can be changed.” NO!
On the contrary, a deep awareness of your responsibility for your life inspires you. After all, if everything in our life is our choice, then WE HAVE A CHOICE. And our life is in our hands.
As a logical consequence, a person makes conscious decisions out of an understanding of his responsibility and this leads to the results he strives for.
Agree, it all sounds quite simple.
In fact, it is that simple. All that remains is to look at real examples of how this principle works, and you will be able to use this formula in your life.
So below are some stories of how people have changed their lives for the better.
I wrote a short commentary for the first five stories to draw your attention to the general pattern hidden between the lines.
And then I will give a few more inspiring stories, but without my comments. I want you to analyze them yourself and notice the principle we are talking about.
Begin.
