Good day to all! Lyudmila Redkina is with you. We continue to talk about the peculiarities of human psychology. Have you ever felt intense irritation or great joy when you saw old friends? Have you ever been “vomiting” from a job that just didn’t want to go well? These emotions are also familiar to me; moreover, they are familiar to all people whose emotional sphere functions normally. We are accustomed to dividing emotional reactions into negative and positive. In fact, emotions are only reactions to some external stimulus, but we give them a positive or negative connotation. So, in the article we’ll talk about what emotional reactions there are, and consider the complete list of negative human emotions.
Roots and relativity of emotions
Life is wonderful, but between the objective opportunity to enjoy it and our willingness to do so there are barriers - negative emotions .
Yes, there are other obstacles. We won’t talk about the saddest thing – the inevitable ending – (well, except as an example), just as we won’t talk about the obvious obstacles in life, but we are made of feelings, and only they constantly accompany us. Emotion is the body’s reaction to circumstances, expressed by a certain experience. Negative emotions have an unpleasant coloring and, unlike positive ones, force us to run away from them. Life is not only beautiful, but also in many ways relative. What is negative for one person is quite positive for another. You can be at the pinnacle of success in the form in which it is familiar to society, and be or become deeply unhappy. A striking example of this is Leo Tolstoy. Being on the crest of world public recognition, without suffering from the lack of life's blessings, in a fairly short time he turned into a sufferer seeking peace in a stranglehold.
Psychology is tied to philosophy; ultimately, our emotions are shaped by our worldview. Few people realize this, only a few understand it deeply. Tolstoy, as a man of great intelligence, could not accept the need to live, mindful of the inevitable end. “How can you be in an aura of positivity if your whole life is a complete farce, a mockery with a disastrous ending?” the writer reasoned. In the end, Tolstoy found a way out and consolation in faith. The example illustrates the dependence of ordinary manifestations of emotional negativity on large ideological blocks and the relativity of reactions. Agree, most of us, being in the social and financial position of the author of Anna Karenina, would revel in success.
About jealousy
Jealousy differs from envy in that it is “played” by three people. Someone took (or we think they took) what we consider ours... and off we go!
If a jealous person faces the threat of losing something, he will believe that he must either prevent this or return the object of desire back to himself. In the case where these 2 options are impossible, the jealous person can easily begin to take revenge on the people whom he considers responsible for his pain.
Most often, a person himself understands that revenge will not help find what was lost, that it is aimed only at healing the wound received. But the power of negative emotions is great, and a person cannot help himself.
Read also: 10 ways to forgive grievances
Jealousy can be based on real facts or on speculation and prejudice. Low self-esteem coupled with doubts about one's ability to build trust makes a person more vulnerable to jealousy.
Negative emotions: what are they?
There are a lot of negative emotions, here are some of them:
- resentment;
- anger;
- envy;
- hatred;
- anxiety;
- disgust;
- fear;
- anger;
- aggression;
- irritation;
- guilt;
- jealousy;
- rage;
All of them are associated with the corresponding character trait: aggression - aggressiveness, resentment - touchiness. That is why it is so important to try not to allow individual manifestations of negativity into your inner world - it easily takes root, growing into part of our essence.
Exercise for practice - how to remove negative emotions from your life
The above tips are not easy to apply in everyday life. Therefore, to help you, here is a useful and specific exercise:
- Take a pen and paper and divide the paper into two columns.
- In the left column, list all the people or situations that caused you negative emotions, numbering them.
- In the right column, write a series of sentences that begin: “I am responsible for this because...”, then complete the sentences.
- Do the same for each entry on the list, trying to be as honest, frank and strict with yourself as possible.
- Write down all the reasons why you may be responsible for what happened to you.
Once the exercise is completed, you will be amazed at how much more positive and in control of your life you will feel.
Negative emotions: functionality
Negative, like positive, emotions perform a number of functions, which are divided into several categories: evaluative, motivating, protective. Let's look at the functionality using examples.
Irritation
With every emotion we evaluate people and circumstances.
Irritation can be compared to a “C” - the person is clearly unpleasant to us, but he does not reach lower grades. Thanks to a natural reaction, we form an idea about an object or subject. Irritation motivates. You yourself know how much easier it can be to cope with a task by succumbing to negativity. Finally, with the help of irritation we defend ourselves. It can be difficult for a timid, shy person to refuse an unpleasant request, but for a timid and irritated person it is much easier to do so.
Anxiety
Having a certain picture of the world, we determine whether everything is in order in it, reacting in one way or another to circumstances. Anxiety is a clear sign that something has gone wrong and appropriate action needs to be taken. Without concern, parents would leave the fate of their children to chance, and doctors would leave the health of their patients to chance. The motivation caused by anxiety is enormous. A frail woman who has lost a child will move mountains in her search. An unremarkable gray man, fearing for an unsightly future, will overcome thousands of troubles in the pursuit of a more beautiful picture than the one that is destined for him, according to dry statistics.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
Anxiety protects. Worried about tomorrow, we stock up on food, strengthen the roof over our heads, put aside savings... All negative emotions, in one way or another, help in some way. But why then are they negative? They not only help, but also harm, and in the end there is much more harm than good. Sometimes out of powerlessness, sometimes out of stupidity, we “replace concepts” - we look for a way out in the negative, instead of looking for it in a positive attitude, in creating a constructive, rather than destructive, character.
Vulnerability – the position of an eternal child
There are people who don’t really need to be offended; they are constantly offended by everyone. Vulnerable individuals are not mature children who require special treatment. If he is not there, they immediately become offended, withdraw into themselves, become capricious and set conditions.
Being a vulnerable person is more expensive for yourself. After all, in the end, everyone will get tired of playing the “Princess and the Pea” game and refuse to communicate with such a person. And there is no need to attribute everything to a trembling soul and sacrifice. It's time to accept the world and the people living in it as they are, with flaws and mistakes.
Stop reacting to all sorts of little things, stupid jokes, provocations. Rise above this and remember once again: we are offended only when we are ready to be offended.
Negative emotions: reasons
Based on the above, it is easy to determine the main causes of negative emotions:
- beliefs (worldview);
- fear of the future;
- physical state;
Worldview
For Tolstoy to turn his life into a nightmare, a change of beliefs was enough: the beautiful picture gradually, through mental effort alone, gave way to an ugly one. The ugliness lay in the reaction, the inability to influence the situation. Negative emotions can become part of our lives unnoticed, as a result of daily experiences and thoughts that change our perception of reality. It is important to try to believe in a happy ending to any situation - this gives you the strength to overcome troubles without destroying your psyche.
Fear
We only know that we know nothing... And yet, what we know is enough to fear the world around us. We are frightened by uncertainty, fear gives rise to other negative emotions. Fear of the future is closely related to worldview: belief in the absence of a happy ending drives away positive emotions, but a holy place is never empty.
Physical state
Malaise, serious illness, pain cause anger and irritation. Both the fact of violation of our plans, and the very essence. Only strong-willed, highly spiritual people who, relatively speaking, see the light at the end of the tunnel, are able to withstand blow after blow without reacting negatively to them.
What to do to relieve tension and free yourself from accumulated negativity
If stress is constantly present in our lives and negative emotions prevail over positive ones, then it is better not to self-medicate, but to consult a specialist. It is important to understand why we cannot cope with emotions and react to everything too violently. Constantly experiencing negative emotions is a wake-up call for us.
If we experience negative emotions in the “normal mode” - we live in a society where everyone has a bad mood, a bad day or ordinary rudeness - then we need to support ourselves and work on the emotional component.
The following techniques will help regulate the emotional sphere.
Relaxing treatments.
Unexpressed emotions accumulate in the body most often in the form of muscle tension. We all know stories about how something got stuck somewhere after stress. In order not to get stuck, you need to pull out your emotions, and to do this you need to relax your body. In this case, a bathhouse is suitable for some, a massage for others, stretching and yoga for others - everyone chooses their own method.
Overcoming Negative Emotions
To overcome negative experiences, you need to work both with objective reasons and with your own psyche - change your point of view on various situations and, ultimately, on the surrounding reality.
It is impossible to always run away from objective reasons, but you need to try as hard as you can. Working with the psyche, no matter how difficult it may be, is much easier. At least it can be changed. In addition to searching for a reliable life anchor, expressed in faith in a bright future, you should:
- control emotions;
- look for and use triggers;
We have willpower and we are often unable to control negative reactions. He does not allow the flames of bad emotions to spread further. Negativity that has received a rebuff, according to the law of conservation of energy, does not go away - it will definitely find a way out in something else. Therefore, the work must be comprehensive.
A trigger is an irritant, an impulse that triggers a particular feeling. Negative emotions are extinguished by studying your weaknesses and strengths and skillfully maneuvering between circumstances and pressing the right “buttons.” If you feel offended, click on analyzing the situation; if you find yourself in a state of irritation, click on positive thinking.
Working on yourself is difficult, but it always bears fruit. Do not let the fire of negativity flare up, extinguish it in every possible way.
If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .
Anger is your inner beast
Agree, each of us has been angry at least once in our lives. And there can be a lot of reasons for anger. However, when dissatisfaction develops into uncontrollable anger, something needs to be done about it.
You are in the grip of anger if:
- allowing yourself to shout at others who did or said something wrong;
- insult your offenders;
- trying to resolve a conflict through a fight or other bodily harm;
- you break something, tear it, beat it;
- you make destructive decisions.
If you notice this behavior in yourself and know that it is always difficult for you to calm down when you are angry with something or someone, then it is time to learn how to manage your anger. By the way, in the West, in particular in the USA, courses and psychological training on anger management are very popular. They are even prescribed as an additional measure when resolving various conflicts in court.
When you feel angry, you should not wait for this emotion to build up and anger to manifest, but immediately discuss the problem. Sit down at the negotiating table, tell us what doesn’t suit you, offer your solutions, reach compromises, talk about your feelings.
Fear is fear of oneself
Being afraid is not scary or ashamed; it is a completely normal emotion if it is within your control. We all fear something, but most of it is irrational fear, that is, one that is not confirmed by any specific case.
But even with fears that are reinforced by previous traumas, unpleasant situations and events, you need to be able to fight. Otherwise, what you are so afraid of will not allow you to move on, will ruin your life, relationships with people, and destroy all possible prospects.
Try to understand what you are afraid of and why. Go deep into your feelings and try to imagine what will happen to you if the fear ever comes true. Introduced? Now think about what you can and should do in this situation. That's it - you already have a specific action plan ready, which means you can let go of your fears.
And don’t forget that being afraid of the inevitable is only traumatizing your soul. Don't think about bad things before they happen.
Envy - underestimating one's own achievements
It is unlikely that anyone will argue that envy is a very bad feeling that needs to be fought. Attempts to divide it into white and black are simply a reluctance to accept this emotion as a fact.
Envy arises for two reasons:
- you do not know how to rejoice in the achievements and happiness of other people;
- You underestimate yourself, so you envy others.
When you are consumed by such a feeling, you stop being sincere in relationships, you feel offended, so you want to do something bad, as if to take revenge on the one you envy. It seems to you that there is nothing in your life that is worth being proud of, so you castigate yourself with thoughts of inadequacy and reproach your loved ones for the fact that they, too, have not achieved significance in your value system.
If you feel envy, you just need to analyze your life. Think, or better yet, write down on a piece of paper what you have achieved, what makes you unique, what ideas, actions and events you can be proud of.
Let's say you're jealous that your friend has built a wonderful career and earns decent money. What do you have instead of a successful career? Perhaps you married a loved one, are raising a wonderful child and have succeeded as a mother. Believe me, your friend may also envy you for this, because happiness does not lie only in a good financial situation. Appreciate yourself and then you won’t have to envy anyone.
