Why do children lie to their parents, and how to stop a child from lying?

• April 5, 2019
• Pupils
• Oksana Yatskevich

The parents are entirely responsible for raising a small child. And therefore they try to teach everyone one holy truth: lying is bad. Unfortunately, quite often children lie or begin to hide/invent something. Probably, sooner or later, every parent will catch their child lying. It can be different - minor or serious. In any case, hearing a lie from a child’s lips is a strong blow for every parent, especially if a lot of time and effort is invested in upbringing. Is a 10 year old child lying? What to do? Next we will try to find the answer to this question.

The main reason for lying in children

What to do if a child constantly lies? In general, this is a bad sign; leaving it unattended can lead to huge problems in the future. But before you scold your child for yet another lie, you need to understand why he behaved this way.

Unfortunately, the main reason for children's lies is a lack of trust in the parent or in the mother and father at the same time. With the help of lies, children try to protect themselves from situations and emotions that they do not want to experience/endure.

Is a 10 year old child lying? What to do? You need to understand what the root cause of this behavior is. There are a lot of options for the development of events!

Afterword

The personal example of parents provides a greater educational effect than moral teaching. If a child lies, then he either copies his parents, or protects his psyche from unsafe external conditions, for example, aggression from peers in kindergarten, an authoritarian style of upbringing in a family or educational institution.

Children's lies can hardly be called lies, since children do not yet possess this art. This is, rather, fantasy, which, if adults react incorrectly, develops into a lie. Fantasy helps children cope with difficulties, for example, surviving their parents' divorce, getting rid of loneliness and fears.

There is no need to punish a child for the slightest invention. But you need to make sure that lies are not based on selfish motives, and that fantasies do not tear you away from reality and do not drag you into the world of illusions.

Root causes of lies

Lying among adults, as a rule, is perceived as betrayal, but not as acutely as if a child is caught lying. Parents often scold their offspring without understanding the root causes of such behavior. Such a decision will not bring any positive results - most likely, a scolded and even punished child will continue to tell lies. Does your child constantly lie? What to do?

Psychologists say that children's lies can have different root causes. For example:

1. Strictness that goes beyond the boundaries of what is acceptable. Children who are held in tight rein and in excessive strictness are prone to lie. They are looking for a way to get what they want without being scolded or punished.
2. Attention deficit. By lying, a minor attracts attention to himself. This principle applies not only to parents, but also to peers. You want to look cool, which means sometimes you have to tell lies.
3. Manipulation. Quite often, parents don't think about how they talk to their children. They often use manipulation. For example, when a child does not obey, they clutch at their heart or begin to cry demonstratively, saying something like “You will drive me into a grave!” or “I’ll go crazy with you!” The child's only way of protecting himself in this case will be to lie.
4. Problems with self-esteem. Lying helps you assert yourself and pretend to be who you want. The child tries to seem better than he really is.
5. Relationship crisis or personal problems. Sometimes children lie if they are going through a crisis (including in their relationship with their parents) or are faced with problems that they cannot tell their parents about. It doesn't matter for what reasons. During a crisis in the family, lies can be accompanied by vandalism.

In the end, a minor may simply have a rich imagination. And by lying he did not mean any harm. The stories in this case are of an entertaining nature.

Sources of lies

Lack of attention

If a child tells everyone stories about how wonderful his life is, what a happy and friendly family he has, how his parents love him, this is a reason to think about your relationship. Perhaps the child does not have enough attention, and he talks about what he would really like to have.

Unnecessary criticism

If parents criticize their child a lot, they thereby cause a decrease in the child’s self-esteem and contribute to the development of various complexes. The child becomes unsure of himself and dissatisfied with himself. In this case, children use lies to change the situation and become worthy of respect.

Excessive severity

In cases where parents raise a child in strictness and punish him for all his mistakes and misdeeds, it should not be surprising that the child uses lies as a defense and thus tries to avoid punishment.

Restrictions on the expression of emotions

It is often difficult for an adult to control his emotions, let alone a child. If parents begin to prevent the child from venting his negative emotions and let him know that they only want to see him “good and obedient,” then the child will withdraw into himself. He will lie about his thoughts, feelings and desires, trying to please his parents.

"Play on feelings"

If parents demonstratively show how upset or upset they are by the child’s low performance, bad behavior, etc., then they themselves provoke the child to hide the truth, keep silent, lie, so as not to upset the parents.

Scold or not

A 10-year-old child lies and doesn’t listen? Parents are increasingly faced with such problems. But you shouldn’t think that children behave this way because they are spoiled. As a rule, it's the other way around.

Should children be scolded if they are caught in a lie? Psychologists assure that punishment and scolding are useless in this matter. They can only make the situation worse. Instead, you should calmly talk to the liar, explain why you should not lie, and also try to find out why the minor began to tell lies.

Mom and Dad will have to remain calm. Aggression will not help in this case. But you can easily destroy the fragile parent-child connection.

Fear of failure

If teenagers in the first case lie only to their parents, then their fear of failure causes a defensive reaction, which manifests itself in lying to everyone. Teachers are the first to be negatively affected. A schoolchild, fearing publicity or ridicule, deliberately lies that he did not learn the lesson. He tells parents lies in the form of exaggerations of his success at school. In this case, you will need consultation or advice from a psychologist. If teenagers outgrow certain categories of lies without the intervention of specialists, then this one can leave trauma for the rest of their lives. Already in adulthood, a person will not only lie to everyone, but will also not be able to express himself as an individual due to constant fear.

Using my own example

Did your child start lying at age 10? What to do in this case? First of all, children are a reflection of their parents. Everyone should stop and look at themselves from the outside.

Most likely, parents themselves begin to lie in some situations. Children understand this very well. They see that by lying they can achieve what they want or avoid punishment.

How to stop a 10-year-old child from lying to his parents? First, you have to start with yourself: mom and dad, as well as the child’s environment and his relatives must give up lying. Honesty in everything is the key to successfully correcting children's behavior.

Types and purposes of children's lies

Children's lies have different reasons. Most often, the type of lie is determined by the goal pursued by the child:

• Tendency to fantasize or “play lies”

The school curriculum includes a wonderful work by Nikolai Nosov - the story “Dreamers”. It talks about two boys who brag among themselves: one flew to the moon, the other swam the ocean...

• We can hear similar stories from our children.

It is worth noting that such stories cannot be called lies in the literal sense of the word. Rather, we are talking about the child’s rich imagination and his creative abilities.

• Lies associated with fear

This is a very common type of lying among children. This type of distortion of reality occurs as a result of the child’s desire to avoid punishment or reprimand (most often from parents).

• Elaborate lies

When using a lie strategy, children most often have a specific goal. The most common option is the pursuit of any material goods (money, toys, “goodies”, etc.)

We talk about consequences

If at the age of 10 a child lies to his parents, there is no need to immediately ring the bells, accuse the child of all sins and intimidate him. All this, as practice shows, turns out to be useless. Children must understand why certain actions cannot be done.

That is why, when parents catch their children lying, they should calmly talk about it. It is worth giving examples when a lie led to dire consequences, but this will have to be done wisely, without making things up. Cartoons and movies about the dangers of lying also help a lot.

Shame

Sometimes a person is terribly ashamed of his actions and he prefers not to talk about them, but to come up with another story. This is roughly the situation with reluctance to go to work. It’s easier for him to say that there is no work, all the vacancies are already filled, that he goes for interviews, but they don’t take him anywhere, than to tell the truth - he just doesn’t want to work.

Shame is a very powerful motivator for lying. When a person is unpleasant to talk about his actions, he regrets what he has done, he may want to change it, but he does not yet know how. Pay close attention to what topic your son comes up with lies about.

One of my friends believed for a long time that her son lived with a girl, although it turned out that they had separated more than two months ago. The guy himself was to blame for the breakup and he didn’t want to tell his parents about it, he was ashamed.

Or the guy lost his job because he made a big mistake. He is ashamed of this and therefore does not tell anyone or comes up with all sorts of tall tales.

Adviсe

How to stop a 10-year-old child from lying? This will not be as easy to do as it initially seems. Sometimes you cannot do without the help of specialists, but it is better to try to cope with the problem on your own.

If a parent finds out that a child lied to him, it is worth explaining why this or that action turned out to be wrong. After this, experts recommend giving advice on solving the problem. If children know how to behave in a given situation, they are likely to stop lying over time.

Important: advice should not sound like notation. Only a friendly, calm dialogue will bring positive results.

Children's lies: recommendations from a psychologist:

Talk as equals.

When you find out that your child is not being honest with you, you need to sit down and talk. During the conversation, you should not humiliate, call names or insult your loved one. Parents should explain that they are extremely upset by the child’s lies and this makes them very unpleasant. But at the same time, there is no need to remember past “mistakes” of lies.

Lower your demands on your child.

Perhaps you are overdoing it with care and control? Give your teen more independence. Let him learn to solve his difficulties and difficulties on his own. But at the same time, he should always know that a warm and devoted parental shoulder will always help and support him in any need.

Set a positive example.

Never deceive anyone in front of your children. Moreover, do not involve them in such situations. And if you did lie for what is called “for the good,” then explain why you did that. For example, you asked your husband to answer the phone that you are not at home. Immediately tell your child why you acted this way and not otherwise.

You must be a role model. After all, you want your beloved child to grow up to be an honest person and reach great heights?!

Don't resort to physical punishment.

Physical punishment will never lead to anything good. They can only worsen your child's mental health. Well, if the moment of punishment cannot be avoided, then it must correspond to the degree of deception. The most important thing is for the child to understand that he is being punished for the fact of lying, and not for facts hidden from you.

Well, if children's lies have become systematic and have become permanent, then it is best to contact a competent specialist.

Self-control helps

What to do if a 10 year old child is lying? Psychologists' advice tends to vary depending on the specific situation. First you need to understand what the root cause of children's lies is. We will have to build on this further.

In any case, parents should not lose self-control, no matter how much the child lies. Self-control and calm are the keys to successful dialogue with children. This is the only way mom or dad will be heard.

You just need to exhale, count to ten and accept the fact that adults, in particular parents, are usually to blame for children's lies. If you understand and accept this, it will be much easier not to lose your composure.

Uncomfortable topics of conversation

Personal, “uncomfortable” topics

There are situations when teenagers do not always lie, but only in the case of unpleasant conversational moments. This mainly concerns friendship, love and sex education. Minors, trying to hide some points or having no desire to discuss such topics at all, begin to lie. This happens due to poor contact with the child. He cannot fully open up and tell everything as it is. Advice from a psychologist will help establish this contact, but it is worth knowing that the problem here may not only be with the teenager, the parent must also change.

Translation into game

The following advice should help those whose children begin to invent stories due to their rich imagination. There is no need to chop it. A child’s imagination can help him get settled in life in the future; it must be preserved for as long as possible.

Therefore, if parents notice how their inventive child begins to invent, they need to direct their imagination in a peaceful direction. For example, turn everything into a game or offer to write a “home book.” This approach usually has a therapeutic effect.

Refusal of iron fists

Is a 10 year old child lying? What to do? Parents often think about how to “correctly” intimidate and scold a child so that he immediately begins to tell the truth. Unfortunately, such a result cannot be achieved: the more punishment and scolding a child hears and endures, the more sophisticated he will begin to invent.

If children begin to tell lies for no apparent reason, it is worth considering whether the parents are raising the child correctly. Aren't there a lot of controls and restrictions placed on the younger generation?

In order to prevent children's lies, it is worth refusing to play it safe. At first they may turn out to be a small lie, but by puberty they will lead to serious protests on the part of the child.

WHAT IF FOR NO REASON?

Sometimes it happens. “Unmotivated” lies occur at any age. For the little ones it takes the form of a bizarre fantasy. 2-year-old Stasik fell in kindergarten and the nurse smeared brilliant green on his scratches. When asked by his mother, who was picking him up from kindergarten, what was wrong with his knees, he unexpectedly replied: “Grandma bit me.” At home, he already answered the same question from his grandmother: “Mom bit me.” And only in the evening, when his father asked him about it, he honestly admitted: “I fell, they anointed me with brilliant green.”

Older children also like to make things up. They tell tales about supposedly seeing alien ships, claim that they know the secret of immortality and can move objects with their eyes. Teenagers love to brag, and quite respectable adults too. However, the need to lie a little is not an entirely unreasonable “deception”; it’s just that the reason is not always on the surface: you want to give more weight and significance to your person, to arouse interest in yourself, but you can’t do this otherwise.

This kind of writing can be both evidence of dissatisfaction with oneself, one’s position in the family, group, class, and a sign of a particularly lively imagination and a penchant for creativity. It is hardly worth judging children harshly for such inventions - after all, they simply strive to capture our imagination and arouse our admiration.

However, if the indomitable fantasies of children are not accompanied by real achievements, they turn into empty daydreaming, when, instead of achieving real success, the child does nothing but imagine brilliant victories, but does not lift a finger to make them a reality . Such young “writers” may well grow into adult slackers with big pretensions. Therefore, it is still necessary to maintain a balance between fiction and reality in a child, and if fantasies replace all types of activity for him, it is necessary to return him “to earth” and instill a taste for real work.

What parents of children who lie need to know

* The imaginations of children are not a lie in the full sense of the word. They are rarely truly self-serving and are not intended to harm another.

* “Lies” of children may indicate violations in relationships with adults. It is necessary to change the style of communication with a child, eliminate the reasons forcing him to deceive, and “falsehood” will be reduced to a safe minimum. Otherwise, it will take root and become a real disaster both for himself and for those around him.

* It is useless to fight the habit of telling lies if family members themselves are insincere with each other. The child intuitively learns this style of communication and cannot meet your demands to be sincere, since you yourself are not a model of truthfulness.

* The child must learn that he can tell a lie only if the truth sounds impolite. You cannot, for example, tell a friend that his gift disappointed you, or criticize the hostess at a party, announcing to everyone that mom is a better cook. Oddly enough, even the most sophisticated little cunning ones are not good at lying “out of decency” and in order to accustom a child to “polite” lies, sometimes a lot of effort is needed.

Learning to trust

Why does a 10 year old child lie? Child psychology indicates that this phenomenon usually results from a loss of mutual understanding and trust in relation to the mother and father. Why this happened needs to be looked at in each case separately. Depending on the root cause, you will have to choose a further course of action.

In any case, parents need to learn to trust their children. It is possible that the mother and father initially did not believe the child. And he began to invent various stories - so that it would not be so offensive for the distrust on the part of those closest to him.

It is necessary to provide the child with more freedom, more choice. Let children learn to live and feel like “adults”. This will help restore the child-parent bond.

How to understand that a child is deceiving his parents - signs

The most common signs by which you can understand that a child is not telling something, or is quite openly lying, include:

• deviates from the interlocutor;
• “hugs” himself;
• sharply “throws” the head back or tilts it down, to the side;
• hides his gaze, does not look into the eyes;
• during a conversation he often coughs, swallows, etc.;
• twirls something in his hands (pencil, eraser, etc.);
• often touches the nose, rubs the forehead, eyes, chin or fiddles with the earlobe;
• covers his mouth;
• scratches the neck or “adjusts” the collar;
• “hides” behind some objects (table, soft toy, etc.);
• chooses a static pose (without movements);
• pauses before telling a lie;
• says a lot of details, wanting to hide the lie.

Support always

Does a 10-year-old child constantly lie? It is difficult to answer what to do, because the algorithm of actions depends on the reason for the appearance of children's lies. However, some tips can still be applied almost always. If they don’t stop telling lies, they will at least show that parents are attentive to their offspring.

Once the liar is caught, you need to show him that parents are not guards. They will always listen and support. True, if there is no mutual trust in mother and father at all, it will take a long time to move towards the goal.

Good intentions

Sometimes lies are born for salvation. Such lies are always hidden behind good intentions. So that parents don’t get nervous, mom doesn’t worry, and so on.

For example, my friend was going to go on vacation with just the girls in the summer. But she told her mother that there would be two more guys with them, because she understood that her mother would be very worried if she found out that the girls were going to another country alone without male strength.

Here we are most often talking about petty and insignificant lies. Although I met a man who, until the last moment, did not tell his family that he was terminally ill, because he did not want to expose them to unnecessary stress and worry.

Desire to have secrets and personal boundaries

A 10-year-old child is lying - what to do? Parents need to remember themselves at this age. Most likely, everyone had some secrets of their own. And I wanted to keep them secret from my parents or relatives. Such a desire can lead to lies.

Under such circumstances, there is no need to punish, or “lecture” about the dangers of lying. How to behave? It was as if nothing had happened. Let the child have his own harmless secrets. Everyone has the right to them. And even a mother and father cannot violate the personal boundaries of even small, but still individual people.

Over time this will pass. The child will outgrow and learn not to lie, but to keep secrets secret so that he does not have to discuss them with other people at all. Respect for the right to personal space has a beneficial effect on education in general. For example, you can reduce the likelihood of violent protest during puberty to a minimum.

Fear

Another strong motivator for lying. It begins to form from childhood. My friend always told his mother that he was going to teach homework to the excellent student in his class, but in reality he was running off to play with other boys at an abandoned construction site. He understood that his mother would scold him greatly if he told her about the games at the construction site.

Children lie because they are afraid of punishment. This includes the issue of theft. If you notice that your wallet is somewhat empty after meeting your son, then it's time to talk to him. Read the article “How to explain that you can’t steal.” A child steals and is afraid that he will be punished for it, so he begins to lie. And where one lie is born, a second, a third, and so on appear.

Fear comes from mistrust. When a person does not trust his parents or friends, colleagues or subordinates, he does not tell the truth, lies, gets out and adapts to the situation as best he can. Fear that they will be punished, not understood, judged, laughed at, or mocked. All this pushes a person to tell the story in a different light.

When to sound the alarm

Based on all of the above, it follows that children's imaginations are not a reason to panic. Scientists have found that a child’s first attempts at lying appear at about 3 years old; by the age of 5-6 years, children are already excellent at making up stories. This behavior is normal, but there is still no need to put the brakes on it. Otherwise, you can miss out on education and face a lot of problems.

There are situations in which it is necessary to immediately ring all the bells if a child begins to tell a lie. It is usually recommended to behave this way when:

• a minor uses lies as a means of manipulation;
• some serious truth is hidden;
• the lie led to serious negative consequences;
• fictional stories are accompanied by severe disobedience, damage to property, hooliganism and theft.

As a rule, in such circumstances, it is recommended to contact a family (but not a child) psychologist with your child. This specialist will help you understand why children started lying. He will try to correct the situation. Just don't be shy. A visit to a psychologist is not at all a visit to a psychoneurological dispensary. It really is sometimes necessary. Maybe the parents themselves are to blame for the fact that their children lie to them.

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Children's secrets: how parents should react correctly

Why do all children want an iPhone, and how should parents respond to their request?

We know, but we are silent

Still wondering how to stop a 10-year-old child from lying? Experts recommend not letting children know you know the truth. This will only escalate the situation.

In addition, try not to set yourself the task of exposing your children to clean water. This is a deliberately destructive technique. It cannot in any way be connected with the child’s trust and freedom.

If you know that children have lied, you need to remain silent. Instead, you need to think about how to ensure that children learn to trust their parents. Support and understanding are an excellent prevention of children's lies.

Basic recommendations

1. Before you reproach your offspring for lying, look at yourself. The ideal role model of parental behavior is not always the right example. How many times have you lied to your child? Even the most insignificant deception will never escape the attention of the little man. And if you can lie, then why can’t he?
2. You may not be able to establish lost psychological contact with your child on the first try. Don't give up, try again and again. Just don’t break down or swear if the child continues to lie. Show him your love time after time. Talk about her. Explain that now you are a little upset after learning about his lies, but you still love him. And again try to establish contact.
3. Offer your offspring your solution to his problems. Let him know that he will always find support and participation in you. If your baby starts sharing his fears or successes with you, then you are doing everything right.
4. Don’t force a promise from your child to never lie again. And even more so, do not threaten with punishment and all heavenly punishments. Pressure on pity is also a dirty trick. Remember how, when he was still little, he snuggled up to you and felt sorry for his mother’s bo-bo? This pity of love for you will make him lie even more. And the promise to stop should be made on the initiative of the child himself and nothing more!
5. As you know, crime is better prevented. Start young. Watch appropriate cartoons with your baby, read fairy tales, and make up stories for him. Teach to tell the truth from childhood. And at the same time, teach them to remain tactfully silent so as not to offend. After all, you didn’t lie, you simply remained silent. Just be sure to write down the moments when you can do this and when you can’t.

How to stop a child from lying? Gain his trust, give your attention and support. Love your child

At any age and mood.

When children won't lie

Unfortunately, children's lies cannot be avoided - there are no perfectly honest people in the world. Somewhere, someday, but children will tell lies. And adults too.

However, parents can reduce the likelihood of lying to them. In what house would a child not make up stories?

Children do not lie if love, mutual understanding, trust and respect reign in the family. If a child knows for sure that he will not be scolded, ridiculed, humiliated, offended or punished for certain actions, he will not look for a reason to make up stories.

A child who is confident that his parents will always support him and be on his side will most likely not tell lies. In any case, to his mother and father (or whoever he has a closer connection with).

In a home where there is no strict control and constant restrictions, it is difficult to face children's lies. Also, lies will not be uttered from children's lips if parents do not skimp on praise and encouragement, but without fanaticism.

In other words, a child will not make things up when he lives in a decent family, where everyone loves and respects each other, speaks only the truth and does not violate personal boundaries. If parents feel that they are not able to solve the problem of lying in their child on their own, it is better to immediately contact a family psychologist.

WHY DOES A CHILD LIE?

A child will not lie out of nowhere, unless this is a one-time attempt to probe the situation and satisfy interest. Who would lie for fun, what's the point? If a baby wants to play, he fantasizes, but this is clearly different from deception. A lie always has specific reasons, and the motives for systematic lying can be different.

• Fear of being punished for lying.

A child is afraid of punishment for wrongdoing, so it’s easier to lie. If parents threaten him with punishment for not doing homework on time, not reading a book, not putting away toys before bed, etc., the child is more likely to lie than to tell the truth. At the same time, he can automatically lie even when the parent has the opportunity to check the result. For example, the son left a mess in the room, but said that he put away the toys, although dad could easily check this. In this case, the fear of punishment for the disorder takes precedence over the fear of deception.

Parents often make the mistake of setting too high a standard for their child. You need to understand that a five-year-old child cannot always organize himself independently and follow a clear algorithm: put toys in their places, hang clothes on a high chair or put them in a closet, pack a backpack for the sports section without being reminded. It’s easier for him to lie so as not to anger anyone with his disorganization once again.

The parents' habit of insulting the child only aggravates the situation. “I knew you’d forget again!”, “What a bungler you are, when will you learn?!”, “Who are you so clueless about?” Such phrases humiliate the child and can withdraw him into himself, and then constant lies are inevitable.

• The desire to assert oneself.

Situations of deception to increase self-esteem occur after 6 years. For example, a boy wants to look “cooler” in the company of peers or older children, so he begins to compose fables like “my brother is studying at the institute” or “my dad is the chief of police and caught 100 thieves.” It doesn't look particularly criminal. This is true, if this happens rarely, and besides, children come up with something to brag about to others on the fly.

It’s another matter if a child constantly lies that he lives in a huge apartment, or that all family members have their own car, or that his dad is a businessman, when in fact he is a plumber. Most likely, the child is worried about his social status. Parents need to find out what is the reason for this concern: are his peers laughing at his family, humiliating him, calling him names? Or they don’t hire him to the company because he doesn’t measure up to his position? The desire to be on the same level as their peers pushes children to cheat.

• Rebellious spirit.

Most often, teenagers lie for this reason. Children from 12 to 16 years old are going through difficult times; nature demands rebellion and rebellion. A lie is a protest against parental boundaries, restrictions and, in general, everything that relatives are trying to impose, supposedly out of good intentions. It is useless to swear, much less punish, you will still end up in the eyes of a teenager as a despot and an unjust parent.

All children experience a period of youthful maximalism. Every question from a parent is met with hostility or regarded as an attempt at control and pressure. A child can lie without even thinking about how ridiculous his lie looks, this is not what is important to him. His whole message boils down to one thing: “Leave me alone, I myself know what to do.” The teenager needs to go through this experience. If you constantly argue with your offspring and prove that he is wrong, that his parents know better, he will only move away from you. Trust will be lost: why tell the truth to someone who does not understand you? It’s easier to shrug it off and slam the door.

• Bad example.

There are often situations when parents lie in front of their children, and then are surprised that their child does the same. A child grows up in a family and perceives everything that happens in it as a model of behavior. There is no point in scolding him for deception if his parents lie to each other or deceive others in front of his eyes.

An ordinary everyday situation: on a day off, my boss calls my dad asking him to go to work, to which my dad says that he is sick and is not able to get out of bed. The child sees that dad is not only healthy, but also pleased with himself: how cleverly he outwitted the boss! It is not surprising that, given the opportunity, your beloved child feigns illness early in the morning so as not to go to school. In this case, you need to scold yourself and the double standards established in the family: “You can’t lie, but sometimes you can.”

• Thirst for freedom and independence.

This is about being overly controlling in your offspring's life. Children deceive their parents for this reason already at school age. Parents need to understand in time that the “baby” has already grown into a completely independent person. Now the exciting “Where are you?”, “When will you come home?”, “Who are you there with?” he's annoyed. And instead of a simple answer, he is more likely to lie or say “Nowhere,” “I don’t know,” “With no one,” in order to once again remind him of his independence.

Don’t try to fight with your child, he will still do as he sees fit. Remember yourself as a child: every morning your mother demanded you put on a hat, but what did you do? They went around the corner and took it off. And when you returned home, you put it on again, instilling in your mother a false sense of control over your actions. Look at your child: what if he has grown a little, and you haven’t noticed?

• Conflicts in the family.

Children see and hear more than their parents think, but they themselves are often not heard. If there is a difficult period in the family or a constant tense situation, this affects the psychological state of the children. You don't have to be hysterical to show your emotions. More serious methods are being used.

A child can attract the attention of parents by lying, stealing, or damaging things. He can do this even if he is punished all the time. This is an attempt to protest against the situation in the family. Maybe the child sees constant deception as a way to unite his parents in the fight against him. This is a very serious problem, and you need to recognize it in time and try to solve it. Sometimes children, in an attempt to reconcile their parents, even expose themselves to mortal danger.