Living in harmony with oneself is one of the greatest blessings a person can achieve. And in many ways, the possession of this good depends on what he devotes his life, time and energy to; Is he happy doing this? And no matter from which side we look at this problem, it will in any case lead us to the search for purpose. It is unlikely, of course, that we will offer a ready-made way to find your calling, but we are still confident that the reflections and advice from this article will allow you to better understand yourself and answer at least some of your troubling questions.
Why are we looking for ourselves?
Today there are many articles and materials devoted to how to find your calling in life, in your profession, etc. There are even special tests on this topic, for example, the well-known Myers-Briggs personality type test. Some tips and recommendations are more effective, some less. But, be that as it may, any discussion about the meaning of life comes down to the fact that the search for one’s calling is a natural state of a person.
Thinking and developing people have no doubt that there must be some kind of global task of life to which they can devote themselves with pleasure; for which it will be easy to wake up at 6 in the morning and rush headlong to do something somewhere; on which you won’t be sorry to waste your time and energy. Such activities can become the meaning of human existence.
It is this premise that indicates that in order to find happiness and contentment, you must seek your calling. It must correspond to aspirations, talents and abilities. In addition, in many cases, the work of life allows you to earn a living, and a fairly comfortable one at that. However, finding purpose can be quite difficult, as evidenced by common life experience - many people never find it in their entire lives.
Next, we will talk about the obstacles to finding your purpose and overcoming them, but first we invite you to watch a short video in which personal development expert Itzhak Pintosevich tells how to find your mission.
Definition of the term
If you turn to explanatory dictionaries, the meaning of the word “vocation” is deciphered as an ability or inclination to a particular type of activity. Often the same term is used to refer to a life’s work that is not the main profession. In psychology, a calling is a combination of the ability and desire to do something. This definition can be used to refer to what brings a person joy and satisfaction. At the same time, acquiring new skills within the framework of a vocation usually does not cause difficulties and occurs naturally. Often this term is also associated with inspiration and the presence of internal motivation for some type of activity.
What do you want?
Difficulties in finding one's purpose, contrary to popular belief, are not due to luck, karma, or the fact that a person was not lucky enough to find an activity that matches his aspirations, needs and desires. The problem needs to be looked much deeper, although the answer, in fact, lies on the surface.
No matter how strange it may sound, almost no one asks themselves why they should look for purpose at all. People simply take the idea of this search for granted, believing that they must become an entrepreneur, scientist, politician, doctor, actor, etc., and then devote their entire lives to this profession. In other words, a specialty is equivalent to a vocation. But the belief that the purpose of life is to find and find a calling is precisely what serves as a serious obstacle to the path to destiny. Let's understand a little about what this means.
Most people fail to find their calling because they ask the basic questions incorrectly. For them, they look something like this: “Which social role best suits my abilities and talents?”, “Which social role will suit me best?”, “Which role will allow me to realize myself?” etc. The answers to these questions are not easy to find because they are wrong.
To find your favorite job or life's work, you need to ask questions differently, namely: “What do I want in life and what do I need to do to achieve it?”, “Is there any social role that will help me achieve my goal?” ?”, “If there is no such role, what else can I use to achieve my goal?” By asking ourselves such questions, we no longer put the social role at the forefront, but focus on our desires. Moreover, we can not only subordinate the role to our goals, but also, if necessary, get rid of it altogether. That’s why it makes sense to talk a little specifically about goals.
How to find your calling if you're 15
Adolescence is a period of self-identification when the question “Who am I here?” becomes central to a person. The search for oneself and the desire for self-realization pushes one to choose a profession. Why then is it so difficult for a high school student to find a calling?
At the age of 13-16, a person has very little information about professions; he is used to studying and, as a rule, has never worked. He has little idea what a logistician or SEO specialist does, and how a design engineer differs from a test engineer.
The importance of life goals
A little talk about goals will help us better understand the essence of the above. For example, you already know what you want from life. You love life, strive to develop and learn new things. You want to be independent and free, so it is important for you to live and enjoy life, get to know yourself, communicate, travel and explore the world around you. You want your actions to make the world a better place, at least a little.
These are your life goals. But what can you do to realize them? What social role suits you: writer, teacher, psychologist, director? Which profession and business suits your main needs? As you can see, the answer is difficult to give. But what if you try to come up with a profession that suits you? What kind of profession will it be?
First of all, your work shouldn't consume all your time. You will start a family and have children, and naturally you will want to spend more time with your loved ones. Therefore, your calling should leave you more time than what your regular job allows. In addition, you have a desire to devote your time to hobbies and hobbies, such as self-development, hiking, reading books, sports, cinema, music, chatting with friends, etc.
You have absolutely no desire to be “attached” to your workplace, and spend 5-6 days a week there from morning to evening, come home angry and tired, have two measly weeks of vacation for 6 months of endless work. Your favorite job or life's work should allow you to enjoy every day, relax regularly, discover new places and communicate with your family. Based on this, it is better to make your source of income remote and autonomous, at least in part.
But you do not prioritize independence and freedom, and are quite ready to devote as much time and effort to your calling as necessary. But this is only true if the activity allows you to realize your plans, receive inspiration and feedback. Therefore, it is best that your business belongs to you, but if this is not the case, it in any case should give you the freedom that you dream of.
You probably noticed that so far we are only talking about working conditions, but its content remains in question. So what exactly should you do? You can become a programmer or copywriter (or choose another direction of freelancing), or you can start developing your business. The most important thing here is that this business allows you to earn money and remain free.
But what about personal preference and benefiting people? And here lies the trick - no one actually says that it depends on the job. Think for yourself: once you start doing the ideal business that gives you freedom and prosperity, you will get a lot of time that you can devote to what interests you.
Of course, it would be good if the source of income itself already allowed you to do this, but, firstly, today’s realities are such that there is very little such “work”, and secondly, this is not necessary. For example, you can become a writer and try to monetize this business in order to achieve your goals. But at the same time, you can master the art of photography and start selling your services as a photographer. For this, of course, you also need to work hard, but then you will have time to write.
We can develop what has been said for a very long time, but now we can draw one fundamental conclusion: calling must necessarily be subordinated to life goals. And here the question of choosing this vocation, both in life and in profession, deserves special attention.
The ability to choose
The way you earn money does not have to match your talents or calling, but it should allow you to achieve your goals. Let's return to our examples: it is likely that you do not have a photographer's instinct, and photography is not in your blood. But let’s face it: wouldn’t you engage in professional photography if it allowed you to be independent and free, have a lot of time to do what you love, and make the world a better place by bringing beauty into it? Most likely, you wouldn't mind this kind of work.
Each of us needs a means of subsistence - this is a fact of life. You may not be in the clouds with happiness, running around brides and grooms with your “photo gun,” but if this business does not require constant employment and allows you to live well, then why not, right?
Many people work 6 days a week, and how wonderful it would be if they enjoyed such work, because they practically live on it. However, this is not at all the case, but they still work, although it is not their choice in the full sense of the word. Despite this, when looking for a vocation, they try to make their lives better so that the need for an unloved job disappears forever.
And this is where choice comes into play: in search of their purpose, people begin to change one job for another, one employer for another, one six-day or five-day schedule for another. Does this make sense? It would not be an exaggeration if we say that there is no point here, because... it's running in circles. It would be naive to believe that, as a seller, we will find our calling by changing one trading floor to another. Sales is just an example, but it applies to any field.
Perhaps there is some wisdom in changing your profile altogether? But even here you can drive yourself into the same trap: now you are no longer a salesperson, but an office manager, and now you are no longer a manager, but an IT specialist in a large office, but what has changed? But nothing has changed - you still get up in the morning, rush to work and do something that anyone needs, but not you, continuing to dream that one day the search for purpose will be crowned with success.
Engaging in any activity that does not bring you closer to achieving your goals is wasting your time. When choosing between different forms of the same activity, you will never find your calling, because you are choosing where there is simply no choice. And this is the second main problem that prevents you from finding your purpose. And from here another fundamental conclusion follows: calling can lie in completely different things.
Based on this, you need to expand your comfort zone and explore new areas of activity. Those. If you realize that working at a regular job, you will never become happy and cannot be fulfilled, you need to understand as quickly as possible which area will allow you to get closer to the desired results. You can do this by asking yourself special questions to find meaning and happiness, and also if you know the characteristics of your personality type.
But you shouldn’t think that the problems we’ve discussed exhaust the issue of finding your favorite job or life’s work. There are several other equally important things that make it difficult to find your purpose.
Listen to your body
The human psyche and physiology are closely interconnected. The body reacts to external and internal stimuli at a subconscious level. Psychologist and writer Tatyana Muzhitskaya, in her book “I Can’t Do Anything,” when choosing a specialty, recommends taking a closer look at how the body reacts to the thought of a specific job. Think about your specialty and watch the micro-movements of your shoulders:
- When they shrink, a person slouches, “curls up” into a ball, which means that activity on a subconscious level causes anxiety and rejection.
- If the shoulders broaden and straighten, then the person likes the future activity, inspires him and will give him joy and satisfaction.
The author writes that, ignoring the signals of the body, a person continues to move along a difficult path full of obstacles. As a result, people achieve mediocre results, suffer disappointment, and experience hopelessness and emptiness.
Finding your calling is not easy, but it is possible. Study the methods of the best specialists and start searching for what you love. Then boring and burdensome workdays will turn into vigorous activity that brings joy and gives happiness.
Original article: https://www.nur.kz/family/self-realization/1712921-kak-najti-svoe-prizvanie-v-zizni-instrukcia/
Limitation and routine
It happens that a person seems to find his calling, but, contrary to logic, it becomes not the source of his happiness, but a stumbling block. Try to understand an important idea: having found in life what you like and what you will need to give all of yourself to, you risk losing your freedom and independence. A new activity may simply limit you, and after some time of joy, you realize that you have painted yourself into a corner again.
Finding your favorite job or life's work does not mean finding a new wheel in which you need to run like a squirrel. You should remain careful when diving headlong into new hobbies and placing all your bets on them. There should always be room for maneuver, and this means not limiting yourself to just one thing. As we said, calling can lie in different things, but in order to find them, you need to have space for searching.
In addition, almost any activity always includes an element of routine, and you can simply get tired of any work, even the most creative one. It is, of course, possible to find something that will bring you pleasure for the rest of your life, but it is very, very difficult, and there is a high probability that in a couple of years not a trace will remain of your former passion.
In search of purpose, you must always keep in mind the idea that over time you will want to change something again. The desire for change is a normal state for a person, and therefore we once again say that there is no need to squeeze yourself into the framework of any one occupation or one profession. To believe that the meaning of life lies in one thing is fundamentally wrong.
From all this we can conclude that you need to try to look for several directions that correspond to your life goals and do what you want at the moment. And yet, how to find such things? This question is absolutely appropriate, because talking and thinking is one thing, but doing is completely different.
What is a calling or purpose in life?
Simply put, a calling is something you love to do, which often helps other people.
Scientists offer different definitions. But there is one part that many researchers agree on: helping others is an important component of purpose in life. Help does not mean so much translating a grandmother across the street or a text from English. Help is any action that makes another person’s life better, easier, happier.
I specifically do not use the phrase “life’s work.” It forces you into a framework and makes you think that you need to find one thing and stick to it. This is not true for many reasons, but primarily because we live in the 21st century and there are multipotentialites - people who naturally move from one calling to another and are successful in different fields.
Convince yourself of this by watching Emily Vapnik’s inspiring TED Talks video with Russian subtitles:
Finding the right direction
Determining the right direction to move is not easy, because you need to find something that will meet your goals. We think you will agree with us that every person strives for happiness - this is a natural need. But the ways to achieve this state will differ in each individual case.
We (and not only us) have said more than once that for the most part the state of happiness is determined by the internal state of a person rather than by external factors. Happiness is internal harmony, correct self-esteem, adequate perception of the world around us, but not the presence of a car and a country house or the status of the director of a large company.
If a person is unhappy within his being, no amount of worldly goods will change the situation. Maybe sometimes it will seem to him that he is happy and everything in life is wonderful, but these moments are so momentary that they will disappear when the joy of owning something begins to pass. As a result, an understanding will come that this is not happiness, and the whole cycle will begin all over again.
We want to say that it is not entirely correct to set the goal of achieving certain material benefits. The most important thing is to find happiness in yourself, and after that you will understand what to strive for in life, what to devote it to, what your purpose is.
The life experience of a huge number of people says that no spiritual or life search brings success if a person does not know what exactly makes him happy. People change professions and jobs, move from place to place, hoping that now everything will become different. But joy never comes, everything repeats itself, and disappointment and depression sets in.
So the whole point is that these people could not find their inner source of happiness. And to prevent the situation from getting worse, you need to ask yourself: “Why am I unhappy? What is the cause of my suffering? Am I going down the right path or am I trying to open those doors that will forever remain locked to me?
No, we will not argue that our internal state is greatly influenced by what we do, the state of security, and the possession of material wealth. But this is not the root cause, and the understanding that you are not living your life in vain should in no case depend on money, cars, apartments, iPhones, or even on achieving goals. Happiness must be inside, otherwise even the found purpose will not change anything.
It is necessary to look for your favorite job or life’s work, search for purpose and determine your life goals and priorities, starting with yourself. What makes you happy? Only you can answer this question, and to find the answers, you need to, again, ask yourself:
- What would I like to change in this world?
- What do I want to change in my life?
- What did I like to do as a child?
- What did I dream about when I was little?
- What do I enjoy doing and what could I become better at?
- What could I do over the years?
Take this unique test, write down the answers to the questions, and then choose a time and think about them carefully. And also remember that life is fleeting, and the older we get, the faster time flies. Would you be doing what you are doing now if you suddenly found out that you had six months or a year at most to live? If the answer to this question is no, think about what you would do if such a situation happened, and why are you even doing something that doesn’t matter to you?
In most cases, people always know what they want from life. But with age, many aspirations and desires are “overwritten”, dreams seem unrealistic, reality becomes the need to do some things, solve problems, and earn money. Life turns into a road to nowhere. But this can be changed if you start to know yourself, ask yourself the right questions, take responsibility for yourself and your desires, accept the idea of time passing and build actions in accordance with all this.
Summary of thoughts
At the beginning of our article, we said that we are unlikely to be able to offer a ready-made method for finding your purpose. And this is true, because finding a calling is a purely individual matter, even to some extent intimate. There are no templates or techniques that you can simply follow and everything will be resolved, as if by magic.
But we still think that our reflections on the meaning of life and happiness can guide your thoughts (and future actions) in the right direction. To understand what you need, note those moments when you get a feeling of harmony, peace and that everything is fine.
You can sit in the office for years, and one day, succumbing to the persuasion of a friend, forcefully jump with a parachute and realize that this is what you have dreamed of all your life. You can throw boxes in a warehouse, and one fine day, out of nothing to do, write a short story and realize that this is exactly what you wanted to do since childhood. You can go on vacation and, while lying on the beach, come up with the idea of working remotely in order to be able to explore the world, and, ultimately, come up with website design.
In general, the answer to the question of how to find your purpose is, among other things, to have the courage and audacity to follow the call of your desires and dreams; to give free rein to your imagination; is to understand that your happiness is in your hands. Study yourself, identify your deepest needs, communicate with purposeful and passionate people, expand your own boundaries, reflect on life, try new things, spend time on what is important to you, what you like, and do not indulge your weaknesses and habits. This is what will allow you to find your calling.
And, of course, we simply cannot help but recommend you a couple of books on this topic. This is the book “Set Goals! Find your goal and achieve it in 1 year” (Ichak Pintosevich) and “Find your calling. How to discover your true talents and fill your life with meaning" (Ken Robinson). And also watch this video from Ken Robinson, where this amazing man talks about calling and its meaning.
We sincerely hope that our short philosophical and analytical essay has clarified some points for you about finding your calling, and you will be able to find something you like, your favorite job or life’s work. We wish you good luck and loyalty to yourself!
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Key words:1Self-knowledge
