Compromise is also a solution
A strong family is one that knows how to resolve conflicts, and not one that does not quarrel. Therefore, in disputes there is no need to stand your ground. The best option for a marriage is to think in a win-win way. That is, try to find a solution that will suit everyone, and not just one.
For example, you started a renovation. One spouse liked the floral wallpaper, while the other liked the striped wallpaper. There is no need to quarrel over this, look for a third option. Or you can cover one half of the room with striped wallpaper, and make the other half floral. You will get an original design with zoning.
What is a person’s happiness: is family happiness?
It is believed that each person has his own understanding of happiness. Some people experience elation from the fact that they are fulfilled in their creativity and don’t need “baby diapers”; others are happy about moving up the career ladder and, apart from money, love no one and nothing. But, one way or another, the vast majority of people agree that a complete and happy family is also a very important, if not the dominant factor. So, what is human happiness?
- Family is happiness
Surely many have heard the phrase “happiness is when you are understood . Ideally, family members should have mutual understanding and love for each other. Being part of a social unit, a person does not feel lonely or deprived. Moreover, in the person of a wife or husband we get a person of the opposite sex, for whom we always “come first.” And this can also be a source of happiness.
- Happiness is seeing new life
Or rather, to be involved in its origin and development. Despite their radically different characters, a large percentage of people have maternal and paternal instincts, a craving for procreation. Sooner or later it manifests itself. And then a person feels happiness: from the fact that he loves and is loved on a constant basis, from the fact that a person has appeared who sincerely adores him, from the fact that a new member of society has been born.
In other words, the family realizes several aspects of human happiness at once - this is the need:
- To be loved and needed by someone
- In continuation of the family
- In constant body contact
- In understanding and support
- In the division of duties, etc.
That is why in 99% of cases people are firmly convinced that family is happiness.
Don't forget to communicate
Perhaps many will agree that the most important thing in a family is respect and... love. It mostly manifests itself in relationships and communication. Therefore, there is no need to get bogged down in routine affairs and forget about each other. Try to find time to at least talk. It's very simple - just turn off the TV or look away from the computer monitor. It would be great if there was an opportunity to go somewhere with your spouse: go to the movies or just take a walk in the park. Organize romantic evenings for each other from time to time.
No one owes nothing to nobody
It is wrong to reduce family obligations to the word “should.” For example, “I work all day long, and you just sit on my neck,” “I’m like a squirrel in a wheel, spinning around the house,” “You’re a husband, and I’m looking forward to romantic evenings with you.” The list can be endless; similar phrases are heard in many families.
You need to understand that no one owes anyone anything. This idea simply needs to be included in the family rules. If you are tired, ask your loved ones for help. If love and care reign in the house, it will not be difficult for anyone to wash the dishes or throw out the trash instead of someone else. If you want romance, you don’t need to wait and demand it from your husband; it’s enough to organize a pleasant evening yourself.
Don't try to change the other half
When discussing the rules of behavior in the family, it is worth mentioning that attempts to change your husband or wife will not lead to anything good. Many people hope that things will be different after marriage, but in most cases this is not the case. For example, if a girl is not economical, then she may not like cooking and cleaning. Or if a man abuses alcohol, you should accept that after marriage he will not give up this business. It is very difficult to change an adult, and often simply impossible. Therefore, you need to learn to put up with your spouse’s shortcomings. If everything was fine before the wedding, then after it there should be no complaints.
Why men and women want to start a family: why is family important?
Many men and women want to start a family.
What are the motives of men and women in starting a family? This is why family is important to many:
- By getting married, a girl realizes her need to be a wife. This is a kind of moral purpose, the awareness of which sooner or later manifests itself in many representatives of the fair sex.
- The desire to take care of a loved one, to raise common children - this goal must be realized, it brings satisfaction.
- In the case of sincere love, there is a need to spend more time with your loved one. In this case, fleeting meetings are no longer suitable. In the case of marriage, a woman has the opportunity to be with her chosen one much more often. Moreover, a family is a separate world ruled by a loving couple.
- Family is a great motivator for a woman. After all, she, with classical values, is capable of doing literally anything for the family and children. She feels elated and confident in her abilities.
- A man also becomes more confident when he takes on the role of husband and father.
- Marriage gives status. If an unmarried man is an eternal young man in a tracksuit, then the father of a family is a sedate man, and it doesn’t even matter how much he earns.
In itself, the popularization of the family in our time is more of a plus than a minus. In the case of representatives of both sexes, the creation of a social unit teaches responsibility and independence, protects against bad habits and promiscuous sexual relations, and motivates them to achieve career fulfillment and moral maturity.
Set boundaries
A family is a unit of society that consists of a husband, wife and their children. Nobody treats her anymore. All other relatives (fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, grandmothers, grandfathers and others) are only a part of a large family. You shouldn’t let them into your life too deeply or try to please them in everything. If your parents don’t like something about your other half, but you are happy with everything, then you should tell them about it and gently ask them not to interfere in the relationship. You should also not allow relatives to look into closets, rearrange things, or read mail, unless, of course, you ask for it yourself.
After the birth of a child, a new grandmother very often practically moves into the house. She constantly comes up with advice on how to properly care for the baby. However, family rules state that boundaries must be set. For example, let the grandmother visit her grandchildren on certain days. You can ask her to do specific things: walk with the baby, stroke diapers, and so on. This way grandma will be busy and there will be less unnecessary advice.
All problems are discussed
There is no need to wait for your spouse to figure out the problem that has arisen. Perhaps he doesn't even know about it. If you are tired or upset about something, say so directly. The boss shouted - tell us about it yourself, and don’t wait for questions. The carpet is dirty, and you no longer have the strength - ask your husband to vacuum it, he himself may not even guess.
Only through communication can relationships in the family be built. Therefore, make it a rule to discuss all existing problems. You just need to do this without scandals, shouting and reproaches, in a calm tone. It is absolutely impossible to keep silent about something and isolate yourself, trying to avoid conflict. Such behavior will only create mutual misunderstanding and take problems to the extreme.
There is no need to remain silent, accumulate negativity and irritation. You need to talk openly about your thoughts and feelings. The more sincerely this is done, the easier it is to understand the reasons for discontent. Just don’t sort things out in a state of irritation or with a tipsy spouse. It is better to wait for a more opportune moment to solve the problem.
The basis of a healthy relationship between husband and wife
There are simply no uniform rules or criteria for the correct relationship between spouses.
Each family develops its own approaches and rules of relationships, depending on many external factors. Such as the religiosity of the family, the foundations of the family that were inherent in the parents of the spouses, living conditions, the financial security of the family, and even the region in which the spouses live. All this, to one degree or another, affects the developing relationship between husband and wife.
However, by analyzing the relationship between parents, the relationship between spouses - neighbors or friends, it is quite possible to determine what the relationship between husband and wife is like, as well as what it should be ideally for each family.
Let's try to formulate a few rules for the most acceptable, and best for any family, relationships that every married couple who plans to live many happy years should strive for.
