Every person has thought about visiting a psychologist at least once in their life. Fortunately, in Russia they no longer view psychological assistance as something shameful. However, many people still believe that they can cope with problems on their own or with the help of friends.
It is difficult to understand in what cases a psychologist is needed. Unfortunately, most people never reach the point of no return. About 70% of patients with clinical depression and neurosis admit that they wanted to seek help before a breakdown, but never decided.
On the other hand, going to a psychologist every time there is family trouble or quarrel is also strange. After all, a healthy person must be able to withstand everyday stress.
So, if you have doubts about the advisability of seeing a psychologist, check out this list of 10 reasons to see a psychologist. In any case, it is better to sign up for a free consultation and hear that you can cope on your own than to continue to doubt until a nervous breakdown or suicidal thoughts occur.
Psychologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, psychoanalyst: what is the difference between these people? Are these all doctors?
There is confusion in concepts here, and the reader will have to understand a number of nuances.
There is only one doctor on this list - a psychiatrist. This person graduated from a medical school, but can work as a psychiatrist, or can be called a psychotherapist. He makes a medical diagnosis, prescribes medications, decides on hospitalization and behaves like any other doctor.
But a psychotherapist can also be a psychologist, which means that he or she works with people to help them solve personal, emotional or mental problems.
A psychoanalyst is a particular example of such a psychologist. Psychoanalysis is a branch of psychology founded by Sigmund Freud.
A psychologist is a specialist in the field of the psyche and behavior of people. This could be a military psychologist, an educational psychologist, an engineering psychologist (they are the ones who came up with the eight-hour working day, say hello), a social psychologist, a sports psychologist and many others, including the same psychologist to whom they come to talk about painful issues.
Help with recovery after a traumatic event or during a transition period
Traumatic events are not necessarily associated with near-death experiences. People react differently to stressful events. Some calmly cope with the death of loved ones, complex road accidents and even their own disability, while others develop post-traumatic stress disorder even after ordinary poisoning.
It is equally important to seek help during the transition period. Transferring to a new position, moving, registering a marriage or having a child can throw you out of your usual rut for a long time. A good psychologist will provide emotional support and give advice on how to adapt to changes.
For post-traumatic stress disorder, additional consultation with a psychotherapist and medication are sometimes required. But the first step may be an anonymous conversation with a psychologist.
How do I know who I need to make an appointment with?
Depends on the goal. A consulting psychologist is the most universal option if we are talking about a problem that has arisen recently, is associated with clearly defined conditions and has not yet led to significant changes.
If we take a psychiatrist who is engaged in the medical part, then it is important to note that psychiatric diagnoses do not arise on their own, out of nowhere. They have a long history and specific manifestations. Let's take clinical depression. This cannot be called “bad at heart” - a person with such a diagnosis simply cannot get out of bed. The perception of the real world in such a patient is so impaired that it is very difficult for him to work with it.
A psychologist's client is someone who thinks like this: “I have a problem. This problem is not me and not the world. It's a matter of my distorted perception." When a dragon flies at a schizophrenic, for him it is part of the “real” world. And therefore it is very difficult to negotiate with him on this topic. Why? Because he does not have the resource, he cannot do without medications that will work and help him bypassing his consciousness. This means that only a psychiatrist can deal with this matter.
A psychotherapist also has the right to prescribe medications, but to do this he must have a medical education.
An analyst is a special case of a psychologist, usually with a non-medical education. When we hear “my psychoanalyst” in films, there is a consulting psychologist hiding behind him.
Searching for an answer to the question “Who am I, and why do I live?”
After stressful and traumatic situations, a person often loses the meaning of life. Any further action seems unnecessary. Such thoughts can lead to prolonged depression and suicide. A psychologist will help you build a new model of behavior “from scratch.”
Sometimes during the conversation, self-limiting beliefs are discovered that hold back development. For example, the belief that a person is not smart enough to succeed is often instilled by parents.
In general, loss of interest in activities that previously aroused sincere interest should also be a reason to sign up with a psychologist. Usually this “symptom” is the first sign of depression. It is better not to take the situation to the extreme and seek help in advance.
There are many techniques that allow you to reconsider your role in life and get rid of negative patterns and attitudes.
Sometimes losing interest in life is a natural part of growing up, as is the case with teenagers, or recovering from traumatic situations. But it’s better to go to 7hands.com and choose a psychologist. You can start with a remote consultation.
In what cases can you not do without a psychologist?
Psychologists are concerned with two main processes: problem solving and development.
Solving problems is changing those personality traits that bring suffering to the person himself. For example, excessive temper can interfere with building relationships in your personal life and in business, and also does not contribute to making informed decisions.
Development assumes that a person successfully realizes himself in his personal life, creativity and business, but he has a need for something more, going beyond ordinary well-being. He wants to better understand himself and the world around him, he has a need to get out of his comfort zone.
In both cases, a psychologist can be helpful. Many things cannot be read in a book or heard at a lecture; they become clear only in the process of working together with another person, when he can see something that you do not notice. Or he has already passed the stage of development that lies ahead of you, and can show the way. A book, lecture and good intelligence will not help where another person will help.
Constant failures in your personal life and career
It happens that a person tries his best to achieve his goals, but for unknown reasons nothing works out.
If the obstacles seem insurmountable or, conversely, there is no understanding why what you want is constantly slipping out of your hands, it is worth getting the opinion of a third party. Friends and colleagues may assess the situation biasedly (for example, out of envy or sympathy). But a psychologist is an unbiased assistant who is interested in his client being successful and happy.
There can be many reasons for problems in professional life: from lack of motivation to perfectionism, internal sabotage. A psychologist will help you understand what exactly makes achieving your goal impossible.
People who have problems with their personal lives usually experience problems with attachment and self-esteem. The specialist knows how to overcome internal fears and learn to set boundaries.
The thought of going to a psychologist makes me afraid - should I really be afraid of something?
Psychologists have their own memes, one of which is “All results are from the customer’s materials.” You will not find anything more terrible than yourself, and at the same time nothing more beautiful. A psychologist will not change your life for you, so all the results achieved, which sometimes take your breath away, are your merit. But all the unpleasant moments that may arise during the work are also yours. Yes, you can be envious, greedy, sometimes manipulative, want everything to be solved on its own, blame others for your problems, and take it out on your loved ones. We are all like that.
Regarding the general distrust of people, which often prevents you from deciding on psychotherapy: it is important to remember that a psychologist is, first of all, a person who initially undertakes to help you. This means that there is absolutely no need for him to deliberately harm you, because a) this is his job, b) this is his reputation.
Feelings of failure as a parent
Parenting is hard work. Raising your first child is especially difficult.
On the one hand, modern adults have access to a huge amount of educational information. On the other hand, there are ideal pictures on social networks, which are not always possible to follow. Many women feel a pressing sense of guilt that is difficult to cope with.
How do you know that everything is going according to plan? Of course, you can go to an online forum and ask for advice there. But it must be borne in mind that on the other side of the screen there are often inexperienced advisers who can maliciously ridicule or condemn naive questions.
In the ranking of those who need a psychologist, young parents should take first place.
A psychologist will help you decide on the distribution of roles in the family and tell you how to achieve balance in relationships. But the main advantage of turning to professionals: no value judgments. Even if the parents have really reached an impasse with raising a child, the psychologist will not scold or reproach, but will provide working tools and methods for correcting the situation.
But most often the specialist has to convince parents that they are on the right track and raising an emotionally healthy child. After all, the main problem of our time is the desire to correspond to inflated, often non-existent, ideals.
What to expect from your first appointment? How is everything going?
You come to a session with a person you don’t know yet, and he also doesn’t know what to expect from you. The first session is about getting to know each other. The psychotherapist observes, diagnoses and establishes contact. You, in turn, look at how comfortable you are with this specialist and whether you would like to continue working with him or not.
If we talk about specifics, the room in which the reception takes place should be quiet and secluded. A consultation in a noisy cafe is not an option, and if this is offered to you, it should alert you. Mental work is not about sitting down for coffee. Today there are a large number of psychological centers where you can rent an office for a few hours.
There are no special requirements for the office environment. In classical “orthodox” psychoanalysis the person must lie on a couch. But in most cases, the therapist and patient simply sit opposite each other and talk.
At the session
If you already have a psychologist, the most important sign that something is going wrong is your feelings. If you feel uncomfortable, ask him to stop, ask what and why he is doing now. If the answer is convincing, but you don’t like it, again, you should trust your feelings. Tell us that you are uncomfortable, pay attention to how much the therapist hears you and is ready to change the work strategy. The ability to listen is a key skill for a psychologist. If there is no feeling of contact, it is likely that you need a different therapist. Here are tips for finding a therapist, compiled from recommendations from the American Psychological Association.
How often do you need to visit a psychologist for this to make sense?
The most common format is once a week. If you don't know how much you need and don't have any special requests, this rhythm will probably suit you. But in some areas of psychology it is customary to meet much more often; for example, in psychoanalysis you can see an analyst five times a week.
It happens that a person comes very rarely and you can see how he has changed. And sometimes change happens slowly. It depends on your own speed and resource. You can only find out how many sessions you need specifically through practice. Don't rely on other people's reviews. You are you.
Are there unspoken signs that the consultation was a success or a failure?
It all depends on the degree of complexity and statute of limitations of the problem, as well as on the patient’s current resource, because we cannot work for a long time at great depth and with a high degree of intensity. After all, the psyche is closely connected with the body, and if you overdo it, you will start to get sick. Our psyche always strives for balance.
I do transactional analysis and EMDR therapy: the acronym stands for Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. This is one of two types of psychotherapy with proven effectiveness, officially recommended by the World Health Organization. It looks pretty funny. The psychologist makes movements with his hand right in front of the person’s face, and the person carefully watches his fingers. EMDR is fast and deep, but also wastes a lot of the patient’s mental energy. As a rule, after a couple of sessions you need to take a break or switch to conversational consultations. It is extremely important to give a person time to recover. There is also the concept of “change of transference” in therapy. Transference is the client's relationship to the therapist. At first it is neutral. Then he becomes biased, since the patient projects onto the psychologist the desires, expectations, fears and dreams that he had as a child, and are now brought into therapeutic work. And at first the transference is always positive (my therapist is just super!). But then there comes a moment when the transference changes and the “good parent” becomes bad (ruined my whole life). It's not bad. This means that therapy has come to an important, turning point, when a person is ready to get rid of illusions and is ripe to express his less secure feelings in contact with the therapist. For example, showing sympathy means that we are in a safe field in which we can and should remain in order for a resource to appear. But if we stay in it longer than necessary, this will inevitably block development.
Where to go for help
Dear readers, in this article I analyzed in detail in which cases it makes sense to go to a psychologist, and in which cases you can cope on your own. If you have any questions, please ask in the comments, I will definitely answer.
By the way, on my website you will find many articles for independent work on various problems. I hope you find them useful. Just below you can subscribe to the newsletter so you don’t miss anything.
If you are tired of struggling with your difficulties on your own, then contact us for consultations, I will be happy to help. I work in person in Moscow, geographically in the Paveletskaya metro station, and via Skype. You can sign up via social networks (see below) or email. email [email protected]
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How long does it take to see a psychologist?
There is another joke here: “How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? One is enough if the light bulb is ready to change.”
It all depends on the depth of the request - that is, how serious the changes the client wants to receive. I will say right away that it is not necessary to walk for years - sometimes even deep processes pass quite quickly. But in general, the more local the problem, the faster the therapy is completed.
The average period is five to six months. But if the patient has planned global internal work, therapy can last several years.
Is a personal psychologist always very expensive?
As with all professions, psychology has niches for every income level. There are free psychological assistance services in difficult situations, and there are specialists whose cost per hour is higher than the average salary. If you wish, you can find a specialist regardless of your financial situation. Another question is, what value does a person attach to psychotherapy? If working with one’s inner world is important for a person, he will be ready to pay for it, even if he squeezes in something else a little. If not, then the minimum price will be unaffordable. A dear psychologist does not always mean a good one. A good one is the one who suits you personally.
Chronic stress that yoga and your favorite movie can’t help you cope with
Life is full of stress, and that's completely normal. Problems cannot be completely avoided. Moreover, small jolts are good for the body, as they help mobilize strength and look at the routine from a new angle.
But if one stressful situation flows into another, and the feeling of relaxation does not occur, you should seek help. Otherwise, stress will result in neurosis, depression or complete apathy.
A psychologist will help you find healthy ways to solve problems and eliminate triggers of stressful situations.
What should I do if I don’t want to bring up the past and it causes me pain and discomfort?
The problem and its solution are always associated with discomfort. The problem causes suffering, but so does the solution, since it requires change and confrontation with traumatic experiences. This issue is decided on a scale: on one side is the level of suffering from the unresolved problem, and on the other is from the solution process. If the scale of suffering associated with the past weighs heavily, the person will not discuss it and some of the problems will remain unresolved. If the scale of current suffering weighs heavily, then the person will go through all his traumas, if only it would be over.
There are types of psychotherapy that do not seem to work with the past. I say “as if,” because they allow you to solve specific problems without getting into “the affairs of bygone days.” But if the task is to carry out deep study, even if we deliberately avoid the topic of the past in conversation, it will still begin to emerge in one way or another in a person’s consciousness. Or, for example, he will start to dream. You can't run away from the past. And this is good, because in order to make a new decision on an emotional level, and not just understand its necessity with the mind, it is important for us to remember something and connect some experiences and thoughts with the specific event that caused them. Otherwise, emotional experiences may begin to surface in other situations.
For example, a person was at war and came under fire. The memory has been repressed, and now any clap causes panic, as it did then at the time of the shooting. Therefore, it is extremely important to remember this traumatic episode and associate the emotion with the memory.
Who becomes a client of a psychologist?
Typically, all mentally healthy people who require psychological help consult a psychologist. After all, a person cannot always cope on his own with the emotional load of a negative nature, experiencing difficulties when looking for a way out of an acute life situation.
Clients of a psychologist, and that is what is correct to call them, and not patients, are people in various psychological states, for example:
- the presence of obvious difficulties in communicating with strangers;
- a change in lifestyle leading to a feeling of mental discomfort;
- the occurrence of insoluble crises in the family, threatening divorce or separation;
- the emergence of problems in relationships with the child;
- various phobias and obsessive thoughts;
- internal conflicts, dissatisfaction with oneself, one’s way of life;
- self-determination in life;
- vocational guidance.
Moreover, each person behaves in different situations in a special way. Here it is the personal and individual characteristics that mainly determine his psychological state. But it may also turn out that a person occasionally acts differently from what is typical for him or what he would like. Then you should be wary and contact a specialist for clarification; you simply need psychological consultation.
And at best, the result will be a weakening of mental self-regulation of a temporary nature as a consequence of one-time stress. An abrupt change in a person’s behavior may be associated with a traumatic past experience or with a metabolic disorder caused by a psychoactive substance.
Understanding what is happening to a person is the task of a practicing psychologist. And here it is important to understand that the psychologist has a humanitarian, not a medical education, although he has the education of a medical (clinical) psychologist. Therefore, it is not advisable to consult a psychologist for drug therapy.
Will I have to take antidepressants, tranquilizers and other pills?
Antidepressants are taken for depression, as the name suggests, but not always. If your boss is annoying you, you're experiencing burnout, a divorce, a promotion, or increased stress levels, you definitely don't need antidepressants.
Tranquilizers - or psychotropic drugs - are prescribed when we know for sure that the problem is caused by an imbalance of certain hormones or neurotransmitters. The second option is that they are prescribed if a person has been depressed for a long time and this depression is of psychological origin. For example, depression of abandonment after a breakup. If a person has been in this destructive state for five years, and during a consultation we ask him to live through some feelings, he may want to do it, but he won’t be able to, because he doesn’t have enough resources. He has been lying there like a rag for five years and all the internal forces of his body have been exhausted. And then he needs a light dope - vitamins for the brain. Then psychotherapy with him will go better, faster and more effectively. If I see a need for this, I always suggest this to the client and say that with medications our work will last “x” hours, but you can do without them and you will still manage, but it will take “2 x” time. There is always a choice.
There is another group of drugs - neuroleptics or antipsychotics. These are drugs for the treatment of psychotic spectrum disorders: delirium, schizophrenia, and the like. If a person is depressed and is prescribed antipsychotics (which, unfortunately, happens quite often), but is not prescribed antidepressants, most likely, you should forget about this psychiatrist. In our country, old-school specialists, alas, still strive to treat most problems with antipsychotics. This is fraught with complications.
Tendency to cope in unhealthy ways
Some people respond to stress by starting to drink and use illegal substances. This is an unhealthy reaction that will eventually lead to physical health complications.
If you do not seek help in time, then in the long term a full-fledged addiction may develop.
At this stage, you will have to contact a specialized psychiatrist or psychotherapist.
But not only alcohol, smoking and drugs are considered “unhealthy” methods of solving problems.
If a person goes to the gym and works out to the point of complete exhaustion, he also needs the help of a psychologist. A specialist will help you find healthy methods of coping with difficulties, as well as understand the true reasons for using alcohol and illegal substances.
What is trance and hypnosis? Why are they needed and is it dangerous?
Trance and hypnosis are altered states of consciousness. We have our usual state - in it we understand well who we are, where we are, what is around us, what we want, what day it is. In altered states, our perception of ourselves as individuals changes, the sensations of the boundaries of the body, the surrounding world, motives, feelings, thoughts may change. When used safely, this is very useful - the brain switches to another mode and rests and recovers.
Every day we find ourselves in altered states a hundred times: we drank coffee, didn’t get enough sleep, experienced stress, were carried away with our thoughts or remembered something, drive to and from work the same way (this causes sensory deprivation - a lack of new sensory experiences). stimuli) - and now we find ourselves in an altered state. But we don’t notice this because we are not used to paying attention to it. We continue to interpret this as an ordinary state of consciousness, and the difference is erased. That is, we spend most of the day every day in altered states.
Trance and hypnosis are simply methods that consciously use the resource and potential of these states to help you.
How can a psychologist help?
The profession of psychologist has long been popular, especially in big cities and megalopolises, where the conditions of modern life are saturated with various events, experiences, and stress. All this happens in the workplace, in transport, at home.
It happens that it is very difficult for a person to cope with his anxieties and experiences alone, and he goes to a specialist, believing that a psychologist can help everyone quickly. But, unfortunately, this is not always the case. And first of all, you need to understand that a psychologist is a person like the rest of us. He also worries, falls in love, quarrels with someone and makes peace, makes mistakes and does many other things that are typical for an ordinary person.
While learning his profession, a psychologist has to improve himself and be able to find ways to solve life’s problems and difficulties. He learns to understand himself, to understand himself, so that later he can comprehend the depths of human souls. To become a specialist, theoretical knowledge acquired during training is not enough. To obtain specialization, he will have to go through a long process of personal analysis. And even during the course of his practice, he will visit his personal psychologist.
Psychological assistance is quite multifaceted and it is simply impossible for one person to cover everything. Therefore, specialists have to choose the profile of their activity, for example, someone becomes a child psychologist, someone a family psychotherapist.
When choosing a good psychologist, the most important role is played by the specialist’s education and work experience. But these are not all the criteria by which you should choose a psychologist. All psychotherapists provide help, but everyone is different. Some choose hypnosis, others prefer soft techniques - art therapy, psychoanalysis, etc. Therefore, when choosing a psychologist, ask about the directions and methods of his work, ask to introduce you a little to the course of these methods. Pay attention to whether you feel comfortable enough and whether you feel mutual understanding with this specialist.
Keep in mind that a good psychologist has strengths and weaknesses. Some people can easily solve a childhood problem or a family problem, while others cope well with addictions, phobias, and fears.
A good psychologist will help determine the number of consultations to solve the problem, set the person up and be able to provide assistance so that the person will soon feel relief and improvement in his life.
In fact, why do you need a psychologist? Cry, share your experiences? But that's what friends are for. Not always, of course, there is, but almost. It's cheaper to cry with friends. Often you can even find understanding and sympathy on their part. Although, in truth, most likely, you are already quite fed up with them with your problems.
A psychologist can not only be attentive and sympathetic, he must be so. Moreover, he must give you what you actually came for - changes in your life. People go to a psychologist, first of all, for information about the root of the problem. And this information helps change your life for the better. After the specialist’s work, we see a concrete result.
For a professional, empathy, that is, empathy, is only the initial stage of work that allows you to establish a trusting relationship with a client. So that later, using certain methods, you can get real changes. But for a friend, empathy is both the alpha and omega of help. There are no major changes in a person’s life. This, of course, does not apply to all cases. Sometimes it can be the other way around.
It is up to the person to decide who to go to. A psychologist is, one might say, a specialist in mental well-being. If you do not turn to it periodically, you will undoubtedly live, but in this case it is difficult to count on stable peace of mind.
Every day we have some troubles: the car breaks down, the plumbing fails, or a toothaches. And in such cases, when we can’t do it on our own, we go to specialists. This is fine! But the soul is a much more vulnerable area of our existence than those areas for which plumbers and car service workers are responsible. And we need a spiritual doctor throughout our lives. But, as always, I’m a little ashamed, a little scared. And then pay more money. Yes, it is difficult to go against yourself. Habit is a serious matter. But you need to understand that every new day moves you further away from spiritual comfort. Why is that? Because problems, like a snowball, accumulate and over time become huge psychological complexes.
But the good news is that in order for your soul to always be in order, you just need to regularly visit a psychologist. Of course, this is not enough. Philosophical problems have not been canceled. But everyone is responsible for their own area of activity. And psychologists do very well for theirs.
What specific mental problems can a psychologist solve, and where is he already powerless?
A psychologist will not solve problems caused by organic damage to the brain - for example, as a result of an accident, impaired fetal development, etc. Or problems caused by the internal state of the body - hormonal levels, the balance of neurotransmitters, vitamins, iron and many other microelements affect our physical and mental state. Among the popular facts, a lack of vitamin D can cause conditions similar to depression; An imbalance in iron levels can trigger conditions similar to anxiety. In such cases, the help of other specialists is necessary, and a psychologist can only assist. Before starting psychotherapy, it makes sense to take tests on key points in order to exclude the presence of the above-described “breakdowns” in the body.
But at the same time, there are a number of psychosomatic problems, that is, related to physical health, but caused by our psychological stress, which will be difficult to solve without a psychologist, because they arise again and again until a person’s psychological problem is solved.
Desire to change established negative patterns
Due to parental mistakes and the negative influence of the environment, false attitudes arise that are difficult to get rid of.
For example, some people sincerely believe in their own failures, others are sure that there are no good people, everyone around them strives to deceive or offend. Negative patterns prevent you from moving forward and growing above yourself.
A psychologist will help you establish an internal dialogue, find the reason for the appearance of negative patterns and tell you how to “reprogram” them.
Sometimes incorrect attitudes prevent you from feeling happiness for many years. A man thinks that to be happy he needs an expensive car (another wife, a new job), although then material values do not bring real satisfaction, and the new wife begins to bother him just like the old one.
